mayo: the devil's condiment

From Hell.

as a teenager, i washed dishes at a sandwich joint. the smell of hot mayo turning instantly rancid when it hit the dunk sink made me afeared for life. and ranch dressing was worse.

Mayo is nice. Aioli nicer.

voted for hell but every once in a blue moon i will countenance a mayo, in the right context... usually when you cant taste it

i sometimes eat slices of tomato with just mayo and a bit of pepper

salad cream, doy

I made homemade mayo once and it was p good

I think it's weird how, after you scoop out a dollop of mayo from a jar, the remaining mayo stays taut and unconforming in a post-apocalytic world, waiting for the hell breeze to blow that will cleanse the mayo landscape and rend everything flat and clean again, but that hellbreeze will never sweep the mayoplains, in a jar of mayo

Nothing at all wrong with mayo, people with food issues go find a shrink to pat your hand and say "there there, did the bad emulsion scare you"

Just kidding but nah, mayo is a good thing.

the only place I could ever really tolerate mayo was in a tuna salad, and I don't eat tuna any more so fuck mayonnaise forever and ever

and its ivy-league cousin aioli can take its refined airs and shove them up its greasy ass

for the purposes of this thread, aioli = mayo

gtfo

voted for "mayo is okay" -- if it's on a sandwich already i won't turn my nose up at it but if i'm fixing my own i'll probably opt for mustard or something.

I can get that. like if I survived a nuclear strike and there was just mayonnaise for my sandwich ok. but as long as civilization still exists, why not make use of mustard, the spread of kings

Mustard is indeed the grand piano of the condiments

sriracha mayo y'all

Mayo as a dip for vlaames frites is unspeakably unstoppably good, get that shit away from me it is delicious
Homemade mayo with hard boiled eggs and gherkins is classic beyond belief, come over some time and I will show you

you people are nuts

mayo is delicious

the only place I could ever really tolerate mayo was in a tuna salad, and I don't eat tuna any more so fuck mayonnaise forever and ever

― Inconceivable (to the entire world) (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Sunday, September 23, 2012 10:16 AM (27 minutes ago) Bookmark

potato salad man (light mayo obv)

Homemade mayo with hard boiled eggs and gherkins is classic beyond belief, come over some time and I will show you

gross

i only hate three foods: mayo, overcooked green beans, and ranch dressing. but of the three, mayo is the only one that offends me.

hot mayo turning instantly rancid

ok let's be fair to hot mayo, isn't it just curdling?

I put mayo on a corned beef (or was it pastrami?) sandwich last weekend. So wrong, but I don't care.

you know how if you sell a sugar-&-water-enriched fruit juice you legally have to market it as a juice-drink, to avoid confusion & admit what it is you're selling, i feel like mayonnaise should legally have to be sold as Old Hot Eggs, w/the only room for mixing up the description being in suffixes, eg Helmann's Old Hot Eggs In A Jar

vlasic "dead cucumber packed in salt water"

http://thebrooklynink.com/2012/04/09/44186-mayonnaise-only-store-opens-in-prospect-heights/

Poor nam pla would be marketed as "innards of small fish allowed to rot before some process of titration and reduction"

mayo is delicious

― horseshoe, Sunday, September 23, 2012 10:38 AM (41 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Yep. I love it.

Fries dipped in good mayo are one of the greatest things on Earth.

I quite like mayo in a shop-bought sandwich or some kind of mayo-based drizzle or aioli with a meal out, but I never feel the need to buy a jar, let alone make my own. Which is good because the other half hates mayo and I would have to hear a lot of disgusted proclamations if he found any in our fridge.

I guess I'm voting "nice" but before I moved in with such an ardent mayo-hater I'd probably have gone for "okay in small doses".

it's just that america tend to abuse it

but yea i'm a fan of a good sandwich

Mayo is excellent.

Mayo on a poultry sandwich is good.

Mayo-based "salads" are horrifying unless they are tuna salad or the salad has a shit-ton of curry powder in it

Mayo-based potato salad is like eating Rainbow Brite's stale vomit

Mayo on a hamburger is like eating a cow sneeze

I don't eat meat anymore but mayo on a bacon cheeseburger is delicious.

So is potato salad (as long as there's not too much mayo). You're crazy.

fresh turkey sam wit mayonnaise is ace++++ / turkey club

I would have to respectfully disagree, that sounds about as appetizing a 2 girls 1 cup burger

Xp to ENBB

3 parts mayo to one yellow burger mustard and one ketchup, plus paprika, cayenne, and crushed garlic, plus finely diced gherkins, is the burger relish of the gods.

Mayo with hot smoked paprika, sea salt, crushed garlic, sundried tomato paste, and Spanish sherry vinegar is an amazing, quick, cheat bravas for some potatas.

Hot chips dipped in mayo is amazing.

A big blob of mayo on the side of a bowl of chilli is amazing.

Bacon sandwich with rocket and mayo is amazing.

Aioli is always amazing.

Hated mayo as a kid but love I now. Have to whip it to a smooth consistency, though.

Why the fuck would you put mayo in chili

Why the fuck would you put mayo in chili

sour cream is for chili guys

I made some homemade mayo recently but it turned out too lemony to be a versatile sandwich condiment. Made a batch of tuna salad with it though and it was perfect, no surprise there.

xp gotta say, mayo in chili sounds horrifying.

You don't put it IN chilli, you have it on the side, as a condiment, because its fucking lush, dude. That creaminess, with the spiciness of a chilli, om nom nom. First did it cos we'd run out of sour cream. Never gone back.

"You know what is really great, is a bowl of chicken noodle soup with a dollop of mayo floating in the middle"

mayo in chili is gross

I made some homemade mayo recently but it turned out too lemony to be a versatile sandwich condim

^^ u made aioli w/ egg

i had chicken soup with avocado in it last night

hey chick-fil-a you should put avocado on that sandwich

I don't hate mayo, but I can't think of too many situations where I'd prefer it to mustard.

Hot sauce yes

I steam eggs instead of boiling now

That’s what my new thing does, it steams a cold egg for 10 minutes to hard-boiled perfection

Is it the oil or raw egg yolk that drives the mayo haters mad? We don't know for sure, but every lame-o loves to dip their shit kebab in the local toum and tell other garlic fans how advanced they are in garlic pursuits.

I'm fine with mayo, but based on the many comments made by people repulsed by it I'd say it is neither oil nor egg yolk that bothers the majority of them, but the combination of unctuous mouth feel and gloppy white appearance that triggers their revulsion. Taste doesn't seem to enter it nearly as much as those two factors. Now they can speak for themselves in their usual eloquent fashion.

the warm eggy smell & schlorpy sound & gelatinous quiver turn some people off i guess

lol at the proud garlic gourmands, keep yr heads up you kings of stankbreath! no, higher, please, up out the sunroof if you wouldn't mind

it also tastes like shit

off-white gelatinous quiver is what disgusts me
i wish i could get over it but i haven't been able to so far

Paprika and salt

― calstars, Sunday, December 31, 2023 1:03 PM

Rejected Jimmy Buffet lyric.

Nibblin on croquettes
Watchin' the sunset
All of those egg yolks covered in oil

Do people who dislike the texture of mayo also dislike pudding? As someone who's pro- both of those things, their textures aren't worlds apart (although the oiliness of mayo is obviously distinct).

Plus, you don't eat mayo like you eat pudding*, so I don't see the problem with texture.

* If you do, that's probably why you don't like mayo.

can we get some Waldorf salad up in here?

Some days mayo is the only thing I want in my mouth

It’s the condiment that loves you back

Re jiggliness — when I was in college I remember seeing fellow students eat bowls of flavored yogurt (not Greek but like vats of berry-flavored regular yogurt) decanted into bowls and gobbled up with spoons. I had the same reaction as I do to mayo. It’s not logical or fair but it seems to come from some primordial disgust I have no control over.

Also that was v long time ago and I got over my yogurt problem. I have no trouble w pudding but have yet to accept mayo on my food.

has anyone made a "mayo pop"?

i'm tryna make a meatloaf but we got no eggs so you know what the demons are whispering at me to do

but that's not what this post is about; i was googling mayo meatloaf recipes and slipped down, down, down the greasy mayonnaise hole and there at rock bottom found the Calory Monster Chelio Creamy Mayonnaise Flavor ice cream bar (september 2019-march 2020, r.i.p.)

At the bottom of the package is a powerful illustration of a mysterious creature with a mayonnaise container on its head that squeezes out the word “rich high calorie” with mayonnaise.

https://i.gzn.jp/img/2019/09/27/morinaga-cheerio-creamy-mayonnaise/P5099214.jpg

At first, you can feel the sweetness of white chocolate coaching, but as the ice melts in your mouth, the flavor of mayonnaise gradually increases.

i think this is probably what caused 2020

https://i.gzn.jp/img/2019/09/27/morinaga-cheerio-creamy-mayonnaise/00.jpg

yeah I'd eat it

naming a food brand "Calory Monster" is A+

everything about this thread literally turns my stomach
and yet i will not remove bookmark...?

I thought this bump was going to be about a recent vampire novel - a zombie vampire novel - that has been infused with the scent of Hellmann's garlic mayonnaise as a marketing tie-in:
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2025/oct/10/books-marketing-tiktok-publishing

It's some kind of BookTok thing. So far The Guardian has got two stories out of it but I reckon they could do more.

The obvious angle would be a comparison with Gwyneth Paltrow's vagina-scented candles from a few years back, or alertnatively a comedy piece about wood-scented paper, or alternatively something that tries to make a parallel between mayonnaise and Taylor Swift. Or something. They could pump out those stories.

WaPo had a piece a few months ago where they compared all the national mayo brands, and Aldi's store brand beat Duke's and Hellmann's. Got a jar and finally opened it yesterday to make tuna salad -- it really is as good as Duke's! Very similar flavor, for a lot less $$$. ($2.99 iirc)

I know Aldi shares its parent company with Trader Joe's, which is available locally, but I have no idea if they share the same mayo. Otherwise, this sounds like an interesting tip.

i used to buy tj's mayo years ago and after awhile decided that it wasnt good

I've never bought a jar of mayo in my life

"and that's... the rest of the story"

My wife likes to buy organic mayo which is fine but it tends to taste a bit eggy. Hellmans is good.

i have stupidly acquired another type of piri piri sauce bottle despite not liking the first one and will attempt a rescue by mixing with kewpie mayo.

What have y'all attempted to rescue with mayo?

Intersting!!! Helmann's is my one and only! I don't want it sweet (like kewpie), if anything I want it more citrusy/brighter!

Have we talked about Miracle Whip on this thread

My mom will randomly substitute MW for mayo and it is a horrid surprise.

as kids, we were a margarine/miracle whip/cream of mushroom soup family. suffice it to say i refuse to let my parents do any cooking around the house when they visit.

I grew up thinking MW *was* mayo. The gelatinous sheen and faint jiggle creeped me out and I refused to have anything to do with it. I still struggle a bit with mayo due to the MW association.

Never tried Miracle Whip until my 20s (it's not a thing in the UK) and was not at all impressed. We had salad creme when I was a kid, which is I guess the British equivalent, but I quite like salad creme, it has a satisfying tang to it and pours like ketchup.

My mom wouldn’t allow margarine or Miracle Whip in her house.

I make my own mayo now. You need:

One large egg - whizz for 20 seconds in mini chopper

Add:
1 tablespoon Dijon mustard
1 tablespoon white wine vinegar
1/2 teaspoon white pepper
1/2 teaspoons salt - whizz again for 20 seconds

Next:
240 ml oil, combining olive and sunflower oils (eg. 140 sunflower/100 olive) in spouted measuring jug

Mini chopper has well in top; on low speed, pour a fine stream of oil into well to combine with egg mix. Should make about 300ml mayo.

as kids, we were a margarine/miracle whip/cream of mushroom soup family. suffice it to say i refuse to let my parents do any cooking around the house when they visit.

― My homies buttthole surfers' record sounds like a f (Western® with Bacon Flavor), Thursday, September 3, 2026 8:46 AM (fifty-eight minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

Almost want to start a sister thread "margarine: the devil's butter". My parents raised me in a margarine/Shedd's Spread/Smart Balance family. And as dedicated resusers/recyclers, we had a corner of our basement that was just SO many margarine tubs! Have a small collection of something, but nowhere to put it? Go downstairs and grab a margarine tub!

I continued the culinary tradition with my family until my wife started insisting on butter (I think she preferred it for baking). At one point, I tried to go back to the spread, but found the stuff repulsive.

It feels tangential that there are two huge bags of dried potato flakes in my work kitchen right now. I'm tempted to take one. What could I do with potato as a thickener, coating...

https://i.ibb.co/4wfQ3PKf/Screenshot-2026-09-03-100248.png

My wife is a Miracle Whip partisan -- her family grew up with that because it was cheaper, and I think there's an "it's what poorer people ate" divide down here. I hate it for its sweetness.

There's an "It tastes like cold ass" divide.

Growing up, margarine and butter were both called “butter,” same with MW being “mayonnaise.”

Miracle Whip is great. So is regular mayo.

Read a NYT Cooking recipe yesterday which used mayo on salmon as a means of getting crispy skin under a broiler. Can’t wait to try it over the weekend.

See, that I would totally try with homemade mayo.

My mom always had a stack of empty Country Crock margarine tubs for collecting chicken eggs.

Growing up, margarine and butter were both called “butter,” same with MW being “mayonnaise.”

― Cow_Art, Thursday, September 3, 2026 10:14 AM (eighteen minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

Yeah, same! We called it butter, but no one sane would recognize it as such.

Miracle Whip is great. So is regular mayo.

Read a NYT Cooking recipe yesterday which used mayo on salmon as a means of getting crispy skin under a broiler. Can’t wait to try it over the weekend.

― tobo73, Thursday, September 3, 2026 10:14 AM (twenty-five minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

pretty sure there have been a few "kitchen hacks" i've seen over the years recommending mayo as some crispy cheat king. and then logic should just make you realize "oh right mayo is basically just fat in a jar, why wouldn't it make things crispy?"

the a big weekly dinner for us as kids growing up were boneless, skinless chicken breasts pounded thin. next they were covered in miracle whip/mayo and then tossed in crushed up corn flakes. toss on a baking sheet and cook till golden! it wasn't until i was older that was basically some tacky midwestern church recipe hack of trying to recreate fried chicken without all the oil.

I sometimes use mayo on a grilled cheese instead of butter because you get nice browning quickly without burning the bread.