mayo: the devil's condiment

From Hell.

as a teenager, i washed dishes at a sandwich joint. the smell of hot mayo turning instantly rancid when it hit the dunk sink made me afeared for life. and ranch dressing was worse.

Mayo is nice. Aioli nicer.

voted for hell but every once in a blue moon i will countenance a mayo, in the right context... usually when you cant taste it

i sometimes eat slices of tomato with just mayo and a bit of pepper

salad cream, doy

I made homemade mayo once and it was p good

I think it's weird how, after you scoop out a dollop of mayo from a jar, the remaining mayo stays taut and unconforming in a post-apocalytic world, waiting for the hell breeze to blow that will cleanse the mayo landscape and rend everything flat and clean again, but that hellbreeze will never sweep the mayoplains, in a jar of mayo

Nothing at all wrong with mayo, people with food issues go find a shrink to pat your hand and say "there there, did the bad emulsion scare you"

Just kidding but nah, mayo is a good thing.

the only place I could ever really tolerate mayo was in a tuna salad, and I don't eat tuna any more so fuck mayonnaise forever and ever

and its ivy-league cousin aioli can take its refined airs and shove them up its greasy ass

for the purposes of this thread, aioli = mayo

gtfo

voted for "mayo is okay" -- if it's on a sandwich already i won't turn my nose up at it but if i'm fixing my own i'll probably opt for mustard or something.

I can get that. like if I survived a nuclear strike and there was just mayonnaise for my sandwich ok. but as long as civilization still exists, why not make use of mustard, the spread of kings

Mustard is indeed the grand piano of the condiments

sriracha mayo y'all

Mayo as a dip for vlaames frites is unspeakably unstoppably good, get that shit away from me it is delicious
Homemade mayo with hard boiled eggs and gherkins is classic beyond belief, come over some time and I will show you

you people are nuts

mayo is delicious

the only place I could ever really tolerate mayo was in a tuna salad, and I don't eat tuna any more so fuck mayonnaise forever and ever

― Inconceivable (to the entire world) (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Sunday, September 23, 2012 10:16 AM (27 minutes ago) Bookmark

potato salad man (light mayo obv)

Homemade mayo with hard boiled eggs and gherkins is classic beyond belief, come over some time and I will show you

gross

i only hate three foods: mayo, overcooked green beans, and ranch dressing. but of the three, mayo is the only one that offends me.

hot mayo turning instantly rancid

ok let's be fair to hot mayo, isn't it just curdling?

I put mayo on a corned beef (or was it pastrami?) sandwich last weekend. So wrong, but I don't care.

you know how if you sell a sugar-&-water-enriched fruit juice you legally have to market it as a juice-drink, to avoid confusion & admit what it is you're selling, i feel like mayonnaise should legally have to be sold as Old Hot Eggs, w/the only room for mixing up the description being in suffixes, eg Helmann's Old Hot Eggs In A Jar

vlasic "dead cucumber packed in salt water"

http://thebrooklynink.com/2012/04/09/44186-mayonnaise-only-store-opens-in-prospect-heights/

Poor nam pla would be marketed as "innards of small fish allowed to rot before some process of titration and reduction"

mayo is delicious

― horseshoe, Sunday, September 23, 2012 10:38 AM (41 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Yep. I love it.

Fries dipped in good mayo are one of the greatest things on Earth.

I quite like mayo in a shop-bought sandwich or some kind of mayo-based drizzle or aioli with a meal out, but I never feel the need to buy a jar, let alone make my own. Which is good because the other half hates mayo and I would have to hear a lot of disgusted proclamations if he found any in our fridge.

I guess I'm voting "nice" but before I moved in with such an ardent mayo-hater I'd probably have gone for "okay in small doses".

it's just that america tend to abuse it

but yea i'm a fan of a good sandwich

Mayo is excellent.

Mayo on a poultry sandwich is good.

Mayo-based "salads" are horrifying unless they are tuna salad or the salad has a shit-ton of curry powder in it

Mayo-based potato salad is like eating Rainbow Brite's stale vomit

Mayo on a hamburger is like eating a cow sneeze

I don't eat meat anymore but mayo on a bacon cheeseburger is delicious.

So is potato salad (as long as there's not too much mayo). You're crazy.

fresh turkey sam wit mayonnaise is ace++++ / turkey club

I would have to respectfully disagree, that sounds about as appetizing a 2 girls 1 cup burger

Xp to ENBB

3 parts mayo to one yellow burger mustard and one ketchup, plus paprika, cayenne, and crushed garlic, plus finely diced gherkins, is the burger relish of the gods.

Mayo with hot smoked paprika, sea salt, crushed garlic, sundried tomato paste, and Spanish sherry vinegar is an amazing, quick, cheat bravas for some potatas.

Hot chips dipped in mayo is amazing.

A big blob of mayo on the side of a bowl of chilli is amazing.

Bacon sandwich with rocket and mayo is amazing.

Aioli is always amazing.

Hated mayo as a kid but love I now. Have to whip it to a smooth consistency, though.

Why the fuck would you put mayo in chili

Why the fuck would you put mayo in chili

sour cream is for chili guys

I made some homemade mayo recently but it turned out too lemony to be a versatile sandwich condiment. Made a batch of tuna salad with it though and it was perfect, no surprise there.

xp gotta say, mayo in chili sounds horrifying.

You don't put it IN chilli, you have it on the side, as a condiment, because its fucking lush, dude. That creaminess, with the spiciness of a chilli, om nom nom. First did it cos we'd run out of sour cream. Never gone back.

"You know what is really great, is a bowl of chicken noodle soup with a dollop of mayo floating in the middle"

mayo in chili is gross

I made some homemade mayo recently but it turned out too lemony to be a versatile sandwich condim

^^ u made aioli w/ egg

i had chicken soup with avocado in it last night

hey chick-fil-a you should put avocado on that sandwich

I don't hate mayo, but I can't think of too many situations where I'd prefer it to mustard.

do you make an emulsion of some kind, or just mix it all together?

emulsion, yeah. Oil added after combining other ings.

https://www.tiktok.com/@worldsportsnetwork/video/7274408052772637995

the only good sport

mayonnaise soup happened and it wasn't my fault

my lad has a perpetual soup going in the slow cooker, into which he gleefully (and, some might say, heedlessly) tosses the odds and ends that accumulate in our fridge.

there was something calling itself "broccoli salad" which he scraped into the pot, perhaps not fully realizing what was about to happen

and now he is having a bowl of mayonnaise soup. i haven't told him yet. i might not ever have the heart to tell him.

the devil has his soul now.

Thinking about buying some mayo to make deviled eggs

xp didn't have to wait too long for someone to come up with something worse than lasagne soup.

i always have this feeling that deviled eggs are gnarly hemispheres of congealed chicken mucous but then have one anyway and it tastes great???? probably some kind of devil magic, given the name + mayo component

I bought Mrs. Cal a hard boiled egg maker appliance (which she promptly discarded) that I have been using it every morning. Just a little salt and it’s a perfect breakfast

I am about to make "dressing" for coleslaw, but I know what this really is

repulsive string of posts

frankly horrifying

http://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_fullsize/plain/did%3Aplc%3Aesfqqq2np2jvvsw3b2wswhex/bafkreid23ompw7dv43s6vuq2hbm7kvh4iez2z3tglrlygshtnxptfbfmyy@jpeg

all time best mayo hating discourse on bsky

http://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did%3Aplc%3Azljlg7cgdfsl7maqvjjpp7i4/bafkreigz7j4fmaks2nej2k66pd2uufkknj3kuyurc5hum5cal6heuwmxaq@jpeg

so we're not missing out then

Mayo is absolutely terrible BUT deviled eggs, when done correctly, are wonderful

The secret is to use seasoning (staring accusingly at all the white people in the upper Midwest as I type)

just having the word "seasoning" on the same line as "upper midwest" is more seasoning than they get most of the year

Paprika and salt

Oi! My mom’s devilled eggs were egg yolk/mayo/minced pickles/white pepper/paprika with a dusting of paprika over the finished eggs. God tier.

Yolks, sweet pickle relish, minced sweet onion, mayo, yellow mustard, Italian seasoning blend, salt and pepper, a bit of Korean brown rice vinegar, sometimes a bit of sriracha depending on who I'm making for. Tiny pinch of smoked paprika to garnish. Fat + salt + acid on a creamy protein half-shell, nice balanced bite.

Pickle element intriguing

oh yes those lil minced pickles are urgent & key

y'all getting me hungry for deviled egg boats in a decadent cream of mayonnaise sea

I would like to try good devilled eggs but hard boiling is against my religion

Deviled egg x pickle back

I put sweet pickle relish with mayo and mustard in egg salad, it's a good combo

Mustard? Yuck

Pickle element provides acidity, but it's one of many different ways.

Oh yeah, my mom put some French’s in hers for colour and also apex Midwesterner.

Hot sauce yes

I steam eggs instead of boiling now

That’s what my new thing does, it steams a cold egg for 10 minutes to hard-boiled perfection

Is it the oil or raw egg yolk that drives the mayo haters mad? We don't know for sure, but every lame-o loves to dip their shit kebab in the local toum and tell other garlic fans how advanced they are in garlic pursuits.

I'm fine with mayo, but based on the many comments made by people repulsed by it I'd say it is neither oil nor egg yolk that bothers the majority of them, but the combination of unctuous mouth feel and gloppy white appearance that triggers their revulsion. Taste doesn't seem to enter it nearly as much as those two factors. Now they can speak for themselves in their usual eloquent fashion.

the warm eggy smell & schlorpy sound & gelatinous quiver turn some people off i guess

lol at the proud garlic gourmands, keep yr heads up you kings of stankbreath! no, higher, please, up out the sunroof if you wouldn't mind

it also tastes like shit

off-white gelatinous quiver is what disgusts me
i wish i could get over it but i haven't been able to so far

Paprika and salt

― calstars, Sunday, December 31, 2023 1:03 PM

Rejected Jimmy Buffet lyric.

Nibblin on croquettes
Watchin' the sunset
All of those egg yolks covered in oil

Do people who dislike the texture of mayo also dislike pudding? As someone who's pro- both of those things, their textures aren't worlds apart (although the oiliness of mayo is obviously distinct).

Plus, you don't eat mayo like you eat pudding*, so I don't see the problem with texture.

* If you do, that's probably why you don't like mayo.

can we get some Waldorf salad up in here?

Some days mayo is the only thing I want in my mouth

It’s the condiment that loves you back

Re jiggliness — when I was in college I remember seeing fellow students eat bowls of flavored yogurt (not Greek but like vats of berry-flavored regular yogurt) decanted into bowls and gobbled up with spoons. I had the same reaction as I do to mayo. It’s not logical or fair but it seems to come from some primordial disgust I have no control over.

Also that was v long time ago and I got over my yogurt problem. I have no trouble w pudding but have yet to accept mayo on my food.

has anyone made a "mayo pop"?

i'm tryna make a meatloaf but we got no eggs so you know what the demons are whispering at me to do

but that's not what this post is about; i was googling mayo meatloaf recipes and slipped down, down, down the greasy mayonnaise hole and there at rock bottom found the Calory Monster Chelio Creamy Mayonnaise Flavor ice cream bar (september 2019-march 2020, r.i.p.)

At the bottom of the package is a powerful illustration of a mysterious creature with a mayonnaise container on its head that squeezes out the word “rich high calorie” with mayonnaise.

https://i.gzn.jp/img/2019/09/27/morinaga-cheerio-creamy-mayonnaise/P5099214.jpg

At first, you can feel the sweetness of white chocolate coaching, but as the ice melts in your mouth, the flavor of mayonnaise gradually increases.

i think this is probably what caused 2020

https://i.gzn.jp/img/2019/09/27/morinaga-cheerio-creamy-mayonnaise/00.jpg

yeah I'd eat it

naming a food brand "Calory Monster" is A+

everything about this thread literally turns my stomach
and yet i will not remove bookmark...?

I thought this bump was going to be about a recent vampire novel - a zombie vampire novel - that has been infused with the scent of Hellmann's garlic mayonnaise as a marketing tie-in:
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2025/oct/10/books-marketing-tiktok-publishing

It's some kind of BookTok thing. So far The Guardian has got two stories out of it but I reckon they could do more.

The obvious angle would be a comparison with Gwyneth Paltrow's vagina-scented candles from a few years back, or alertnatively a comedy piece about wood-scented paper, or alternatively something that tries to make a parallel between mayonnaise and Taylor Swift. Or something. They could pump out those stories.