Battle of the Chain Pizzas

was actually just talking about this w/ a friend this week, but i feel compelled to never eat at papa john's ever again in my life even tho it's by far the best of these

gonna vote godfather's for the lulz tho

ANYONE WHO VOTES FOR CPK, I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND SLAY YOU IN FRONT OF ALL OF YOUR LOVED ONES, THEN PUT YOUR QUIVERING REMAINS ON A CPK PIZZA

pizza hut overseas

papa john's is the best tho that's not saying much.

Happy Joe's doesn't really belong but the kids I used to work with it loved the shit out of it so Happy Joe's haters get a side of dick with their substandard pizza

forreal tho - if youre gonna eat at pizza hut you might as well make it a spectacle. so go to a pizza hut in china, hong kong, korea, or abu dhabi

i think pizza hut is actually the worst of these bcuz it tastes like you're eating a pillow with cheese on it

if i'm eating shitty pizza i'd rather it be as close to nonexistent as possible

in Cambridge UK, I once ordered a supreme pizza at Pizza Hut and received a pizza with kernels of corn on it

I didn't realize it then but this was the beginning of the end of my love affair with Pizza Hut

in Cambridge UK, I once ordered a supreme pizza at Pizza Hut and received a pizza with kernels of corn on it

this anecdote has gone a long way to explaining the culinary habits of l0u1s jagg3r

repping for Papa John's over Round Table or Pizza Hut is disgusting savagery btw

xp I almost included the one national Thai chain but tbh I have no idea if their pizza is any good.

xxp tragic pizzas in small English towns are their own series of pamphlets I'll someday publish

the worst is little caesar's. straight up garbage.

i still think we should all go to chuck e. cheese

they have beer ffs

little ceasar's crazy bread is on point tho

I'm unfamiliar with at least half of these. I wouldn't even know about Godfather's Pizza if it wasn't for Herman Cain. If Chuck E. Cheese still has Centipede and ski ball they're getting my vote.

man, papa john's is the worst. little caeser's at least seems refreshingly comfortable with their awfulness (don't they always have like $1 pizza specials, or is that domino's?).

wtf is round table?

come on who wants in on this with me I'll buy

http://i.imgur.com/7myga.jpg

i still think we should all go to chuck e. cheese

― THAT IS ONE BIG PIZZA (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Monday, November 26, 2012 3:33 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I took some of the kids I used to work with and their kids to Chuck E. Cheese a couple years ago and it was hands down the worst fucking pizza I've ever had ever.

round table is a west coast thing. i've never been. never been to cici's pizza buffet either.

uh the point of going to chuck e. cheese is not the pizza

cici's is nasty but also kid of fun bcuz BUFFET

http://i.imgur.com/ICLE9.jpg

the point is getting ripped on chuck e. beer and playing the shit out of skeeball iirc

Round Table is probably the best of these, or was in the 80s. I think Strongo is otm though. Let's smoke some fuckin weed and go to Chuck's

i "liked" the all-you-can-eat pizza restaurant in rio de janeiro. they just brought around various pies and gave you tiny slices of whatever you wanted, including dessert pizza. the pizza wasn't very good but there was so much of it!

Godfather's takes this, and I didn't even remember the heelarious Cainnection until my vote had been cast. Godfather's pizzasauce has a dark, complex bouquet. I suspect they put red wine in it. Props to them for this and for putting ample cheese on their pies. And they never advertise much either, which I appreciate. They're just always there, quietly making the superior chain pizza.

Pizza Hut

can we get Shakey's pizza delivered to Chuck E Cheese, because then win-win

Domino's - got into countless arguments w/ roommate in college over this (him: 'let's get domino's, it's only $5' me: 'I will eat any pizza in this city that isn't domino's'). lingering resentment.
Papa John's - tastes like donuts, awful
Pizza Hut - my parents never let us have this cause they were convinced it was worse than other fast food, I think I have had it like once in an airport
Little Caesar's - fond childhood memories, I saw one recently and was surprised they still existed
Numero Uno - no idea
Pizza Inn - this sounds like a fake chain you'd see on a cartoon
California Pizza Kitchen - hate this place so much. symbolic of all the bad aspects of california, this is the reagan of pizza.
Round Table - vaguely remember having it
Sbarro - yeah sure why not, I'd take this over anything else here
Shakey's - never heard of
Happy Joe's - never heard of
Home Run Inn - never heard of
Godfather's - never heard of before cain
Chuck E. Cheese's - vague childhood memories
CiCi's - never heard of

i had my 21st birthday at chuck e. cheese. yes, they serve alcohol.

― jess, Monday, May 13, 2002

i'd do it again, too.

cici's pizza buffet easily wins best name of all of these, tho i've never eaten there or heard of it before this poll

Godfather's is good too actually

also can I just

http://i.imgur.com/sdaXc.jpg

tbh i don't hate cpk, i just don't consider it real pizza. as california chains go, sammy's woodfired pizza is far superior.

did pizza hut change their recipe at some point in the '90s? i loved it when i was a kid (i suspect BOOK IT! had something to do with it) and then when i ate it again as an adult i was like "the fuck is this garbage". probably it's just mozzarella-colored glasses tho

I don't think I've ever actually had CPK pizza. I mean I've only been there a couple of times but I think I had salad each time.

BOOK IT!

so Pizza Inn is still a thing? i know i must have eaten there as a child, but i cant recall seeing one in years

i suspect BOOK IT! had a lot to do with my girth as a child

CPK PIZZA IS ACTUALLY A PRANK ORCHESTRATED BY SATAN

i had a salad last time i was at a cpk (at an airport).

and I've only had pizza hut 2x in my life -

Went with Domino's which served me well during many a late drunken night in the wilds of rural upstate NY.

This thread needs Vocelli's, if it's going to have shit like Happy Joe's on it.

i enjoy cold next-day domino's, maybe moreso than when it's warm and you just ordered it

there are very few restaurants I categorically refuse to go to under any circumstance but CPK is at the top of that list

(narrowly beating out Denny's)

pizza huts were kind of swingin when i was little iirc. they had pac man machines that were tables and they served beer(?)

then again usually when i'm in a situation where someone's just ordered domino's there's also alcohol involved and the next morning i'm too out of commission to actually cook anything so refrigerated pizza it is

juxtaposition of bikini women and rock-a-fire explosion makes me feel funny inside

^newborn furry

I wish, it's more of a queasiness... like I just ate some showbiz pizza

I remember the strobe light room too, although it was not under the stage... it was a room with carpeted walls and they'd let a group of kids in there for five minutes at a time. It was like a mosh pit with no music. Extremely violent.

Confirmed: even the microwaveable, single-serving, frozen Home Run Inn pizzas are better than a lot of the other stuff in this poll. Somebody's soul got sold for access to the infernal Home Run recipe.

Taking 4-yr-old son to a CEC birthday party this weekend, I may get a chance to resample the pizza. I will report back.

I took my son to Chuck E. Cheese's for his cousin's birthday party a few years back. Everyone who sampled the pizza came down with diarrhea.

needed more cheese

oh my god the rockafire video Dan posted

I may get a chance to resample the pizza

48 kHz pizza down to 44.1 khz pizza

The only time I went to Showbiz, the Rock-a-Fire Explosion played "Sexy Sadie." Not making this up. I even thought to myself at the time, "No one will believe me when I tell them about this." It was the Bill Murray encounter of chain pizza animatronic band song selections.

Gotta put in my vote for Little Caesar's. Seven bucks. Crazy bread. Ranch sauce! I know you all probably think it's gross, but Little Caesar's sauce is not too sweet and when you get it home you can put pepper and stuff on it.

It's still better than frozen or that homemade shit in a box.

Although, I was way out in the boonies in some small midwest town and the local Little Caesar's wasn't as good. But I think their corner cutting secret is not too much sugar, the fatal flaw of most cheap chains (including Pizza Hut).

http://www.dlisted.com/files/hsotdpizzahutperfumes.jpg

Pizza Hut's new limited-edition Eau de Pizza Hut perfume!

What started out as a joke turned into a real thing. Pizza Hut asked in a haha way on their Facebook page for possible names for a bottle of stank that smells like hot pizza fresh out of the cardboard box. They got over 200 replies and so they decided to make the real thing. They already handed out their entire supply to customers in Canada (Damn you, Canada!), so if you were lucky enough to get a bottle, then you no longer have to rub old slices of pizza all over your asshole, armpits and crotch to smell like Brit's Brit's wet dreams. Pizza Hut actually put out a press release about this mess:

Introducing Pizza Hut Perfume - a brand new fragrance from Pizza Hut Canada boasting top notes of freshly baked, hand-tossed dough.

"When our ad team at GRIP brought the idea to us, we absolutely loved it," says Beverley D'Cruz, Marketing and Product Development Director, Pizza Hut Canada. "What better way to celebrate our Facebook fans than by providing them with a way to enjoy the fresh smell of Pizza Hut pizza whenever they want!"

The limited edition perfume was designed to cc. Only 110 bottles were produced and shared with lucky Facebook fans who won a bottle by being among the first to share their desire for Pizza Hut perfume.

Will we be seeing Pizza Hut perfume in department stores any time soon? According to D'Cruz, only time will tell.

Burger King did this first four years ago when they sold a perfume that smelled like charbroiled cow meat, but this is better. Who wouldn't want to smell like greasy cardboard, microwaved pepperoni, salty desperation, overcooked pieces of sausage and burnt rubber cheese? If you're going to spray yourself down with delicious Eau de Pizza Hut, carry around mace (or a spray bottle full of broccoli water), because Jessica Simpson will try to eat all of you.

Sbarro 8

:-/

Yeah I don't get that either

nabkin dispender

ok i have a report from the field.

i never eat any of these pizzas. tonight a student brought two pizza hut pizzas to share with our class, and i ate a piece.
that was 3 hours ago, i only had one small piece, and i still feel like the pizza is sitting at the top of my digestive tract just kind of hanging out making me miserable.

one piece!

this shit is gross.

Isn't it just "Uno", not "Numero Uno"?

Pizza Hut's pan pizza excellent, others I don't care for.

The little dipping sauces in Papa John's always tempting

Domino's 7
Little Caesar's 6

correct

numero uno is a different chain than uno.

Pizza worked perfectly well before all these weird, toxic "sauces" became A Thing.

Signed, person who puts mayonnaise on any toasted sandwich.

I remember when Red's Savoy, a local pizza shop (now a small midwest chain) with a hyper-loyal customer base changed their sauce, making it sweeter, and everybody rebelled and complained, comparing it to various national chain sauces. I don't think that new sauce lasted longer than a week.

I miss Noble Roman's

The discussion of the Kong drew many looks into my office. Thank you, ilxBoston. Thank you.

Noble Roman's! I'm feeling you, Nino. You could watch them make the pizza. and man were their fingernails dirty.

http://www.nobleromans.com/Images/MonsterwPizza.jpg

yay thanx for nightmares

O_O

WHY ARE HIS EYES TOMATOES

"Noble Roman's" sounds like a seedy 1970's swingers club to me

I keep wanting to call it Roble Noman

Same reason his nose is a zuchinni! (and mouth a . . . sausage?)

what question do you have? his mouth is clearly a pepperoni sausage.

he's holding out the pizza so as to say "take this, all of you, and eat it. For this has my sliced up pepperoni mouth on it, which will be given up for you."

It looked a little too artificial to be a sausage (like it was plastic). What are the teeth then?

Mozzarella cones?

before my last post, I thought to myself, "don't be too cocky about the pepperoni. he might ask you about the teeth." but I was cocky anyway, and here we are. I have no clue what the teeth are. bananas?

they're mushrooms?

And who puts zuchini on a pizza anyway?

teeth are hueg cloves of garlic

who puts zucchini on pizza? this guy!
http://www.examiner.com/images/blog/EXID28360/images/ARCIMB~1.jpg

what's on his neck? whatever it is, it looks like a noble roman's monster tooth

I just checked the menu. Nobel Roman's doesn't put zucchini on anything. The whole monster is a sham.

the original monster didn't have a vegetable face http://www.retrojunk.com/content/commercial/15109/index/

some kid fresh out of college joined the marketing team and thought, "if we subliminally associate vegetables with monsters in our media, the children will riot at their parents' dinner tables and demand our mid-grade cheese pizzas."

my pizza restaurant will be called arcimboldo's

There was also Sergeant Pepperonis

Oh, I wasn't aware that Sergeant Pepperoni has branched out beyond the adult film world. Good for him.

who puts zucchini on pizza? this guy!

bloody disgusting savages!!!

Actually, sliced in ribbons on pizza al tavola, zucchini is OK on pizza! See also eggplant...