come anticipate the new Hansel and Gretel "reboot" feat. Gemma Arterton in Kate Beckinsale fetish gear

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/8/88/Hansel_and_Gretel_Witch_Hunters_.jpg

what the devil

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9246msCh7x4

everything about this looks terrible, like "worse than Van Helsing" terrible

lol @ jeremy renner's involvement

very hard to figure who is the intended audience for these

Kids?

People who just "go to the movies" and pick something that's playing once they get there?

too bloody for kids. teens old enough to go see it would think a Hansel & Gretel movie is dumb imo.

People who just "go to the movies" and pick something that's playing once they get there?

probably a key demo

I was seriously on the "oh, why not?" train up until I saw the trailer

It's based on a thing people have heard about once, but updated with a _twist_! And all that steampunky shit the kids are posting about on their facebooks and internets. How could it possibly fail?

Also, this is a movie aimed at foreign sales

I'm surprised Pride and Prejudice and Zombies is not in production yet

It looks like it would be very funny, but there's no way I pay to see this.

can't wait for the dark reboot of 'three little pigs.'

http://gatheringbooks.files.wordpress.com/2010/07/the_true_story_of_the_three_little_pigs.jpg

very hard to figure who is the intended audience for these

goths/nerds

The rifftrax for this should be fantastic.

seriously, this looks like the worst movie ever

"you've gotta be KIDDING me"

for students of the classics

very hard to figure who is the intended audience for these
Buffy fans.

Folks that don't mind watching Gemma Arterton in leather for an hour and a half

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/d/d1/Hansel-and-gretel-rackham.jpg/421px-Hansel-and-gretel-rackham.jpg

I've got it, let's cast 42-year old Jeremy Renner!

Perfect!

In the movie Hansel is diabetic because of the sweets the witch forced him to eat as a child. Not kidding.

So this movie was produced by the sugarless chocolate board, then.

Metro Goldwyn Agave

The trailer for this is like a fake movie from a 15 year old Simpsons episode.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/nations-movie-theaters-bracing-for-hansel-and-gret,31017/

"very hard to figure who is the intended audience for these"

hi

not to be all morbsy but that article kinda just throws into relief how this movie really isn't any more ridiculous on paper than a lot of movies that DO break box office records

If only it was about CIA agents instead.

would go to see Hansel & Gretel: Leather-Clad CIA Agents too

funny when they're kids "honsel" is about a year older than "greddel" but when they're grown up he's about 20 years older

he's so hot right now.

lol

My dad is really excited about this movie. I had never heard of it.

your dad is cool.

otm

Studio rep at work told us that apparently it was originally shot it with more of a tween/pg-13 angle, but that it didn't get the response they were looking for so the solution was to just pour a pile of blood and guts and violence into it and turn it into an R rated crazyfest.

O_o

It looks godawful. Aside from Jeremy Renner who is handsome. But no amount of gingerbread and/or breadcrumbs could get me to see this.

apparently this made $200MM on a $50MM budget, so prepare yourselves for the sequel. and after abraham lincoln, vampire hunter was greenlit (a movie based on a party down gag) I'm not really shocked by anything, waiting for a movie based on a candy wrapper illustration or a curiously shaped cloud tbh.

that said, I watched H&G 2x this weekend, and have discovered the target audience: 12yo boys and 9yo girls. now I would never knowingly allow a 9yo girl to watch this film, but my daughter stayed at a friends and someone was a bit liberal in their viewing policies. she and her best friend loved this, and subsequently watched it 4 more times. the foul-mouthed gore-streaked horse was out of the proverbial barn at that point, so I joined her and her 12yo brother for a viewing, and he subsequently ruled it epic, awesome, and perhaps the greatest film ever made.

although stupid as the day is long, it is a fast 88 minutes. well-edited with a narrative propulsion, and tongue very far in cheek. lord knows I've endured far worse fantasy films - burton's alice in wonderland anyone? and I did appreciate that the 18th century german town attached drawings of the children kidnapped by witches to their milk bottles with string.

The one 10yo kid I know loved this movie too. Finally got around to watching it and there's an economy to it that keeps you going. It's like a feature length version of one of those imported fantasy shows that play on basic cable: Queen Of Swords, Mutant X, Legend Of The Seeker, etc. Mostly dumb, but engaging.

also this was directed by the guy who did dead snow, the nazi zombie flick. guess he's a high concept kind of guy.

very hard to figure who is the intended audience for these

― dmr, Monday, January 7, 2013 2:45 PM (6 months ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

People who just "go to the movies" and pick something that's playing once they get there?

― Josh in Chicago, Monday, January 7, 2013 2:46 PM (6 months ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol this was us at the Red Box. we enjoyed it!

http://www.scifinow.co.uk/news/hansel-gretel-witch-hunters-2-confirmed/