Lousy Book Covers

IE, a Tumblr

http://lousybookcovers.tumblr.com/

the elf one looks like a hunchback in a bustier

LUMBERJACK IN LOVE is actually a little bit interesting as, like, folk art. Which is not to say it does not also worry me about that woman's proximity to the axe and the way she seems to be pleading for...something.

Had the same reaction as in orbit to lumberjack. The more I scrolled through, the more I liked them, including lily and paws the ghosts of summer, which is my favorite as of this post.

ummm ...

http://d188rgcu4zozwl.cloudfront.net/content/B00A7IOVDC/images/1570583990.jpg

all of Genie Driscoll's book covers are, interesting

what happened to the lumberjack's other leg?????

omg I just got to Lily and Paws

I can't look at these at work

Read my book, m'lord

vampire's forbidden territory made me lol

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_meayaikf2W1r4dtnao1_500.jpg

I was kind of hoping admiral who was a dr who knockoff

Ship-wide mechanical failures, assassination attempts, and every young man's greatest fear are just a few of the landmines...

so I guess admiral who has a small dick then

Spend enough time on books in print or amazon and you will see too many of these. The tumblr is very funny, though.

I am not a fan of horror, decapitations, or disembowelment. Senseless blood, blood, blood does not pump-up the volume for me. If somebody's bleeding, it shouldn't have happened because of an accidental walk into Jason or Chucky's backyard. I like meaningful plots, something my husband and I can try to unravel. For me, there needs to be a reason why little Judy got her throat torn out--for heaven sake.

Hi there, I'm Max. Welcome to my world of proses. I couldn't be more honored that you are taking the time to get to know me. How awesome is that? A few things about me ... I'm a Southern wife and mom with hopefully good manners and an occasional ability to be charming. I am enthralled by dreams and visions and how they come to inform, guide, and shape our decision making process. Please understand that no life should be controlled solely by dreams. Just know that the supernatural world co-exists with the natural.

I like to write about happenings that earthlings cannot explain away--events challenging traditional reasoning. These events bring to the forefront of our consciousness an understanding that the supernatural is well ... very natural in some realms. I like to recall true events and mix-in my untamed imagination. I hope you enjoy my books as I have enjoyed dreaming them up. And I do mean dream! See ya! Max

http://g-ecx.images-amazon.com/images/G/01/ciu/51/b5/1373f7e63a1c0ad8976ffb.L._V386258578_SY470_.jpg

Max W. Miller, author of Spending Christmas with the Yeti

Fierce.

that should be the cover of all of her books

Some good stuff here: http://causticcovercritic.blogspot.com.au/

One of my favorites:
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Mp9MtrMpMS8/UGpTJAc_rcI/AAAAAAAALow/n--ERw7PfrQ/s1600/chinatown.jpg

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-yquZUsax3R0/UGpQrdFuzoI/AAAAAAAALn8/O3E9m35AEMY/s1600/Henry+James+(6).jpg

^ so close!!!

i dunno ... Chinatown in Munich didn't look like that, at least as far as i can remember.

OK, one more from Great Classic Series:
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-QLjXIH5h5UQ/UGpQOvu8g9I/AAAAAAAALnM/ff4dmesE-Es/s1600/orczy.jpg

Some fun ones here: http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/

that Scarlet Pimpernel cover is hilarious

Couple of threads to add to the collections:
Demented Book Covers
Misleading Book Covers

'Wessex Tales' w/ Slash on the cover (see 'misleading...' link) is a highpoint of the 21st century thus far

Amazon is now targeting me with ads for Lilly and Paws on various websites. Which is kind of awesome.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/e/e7/Iamcharlottesimmons.jpg

CS does a three way with dudes in Tom Wolfe letter jackets iirc

there needs to be a sister tumblr for the author-provided amazon descriptions of these books

i just noticed that the Yeti has black nail polish. so Yetis are into goth, or this is an Emo-Yeti?!?

Some good stuff here: http://causticcovercritic.blogspot.com.au/

http://25.media.tumblr.com/ae21865775032d29dd9e4141229f8b87/tumblr_mgq9hpae8Q1r4dtnao1_500.jpg

There's even a website for this.
http://www.rockoids.com
(caution, Flash intro with music)

They should turn it into an MMO and call it 'Peeved Online'.

http://www.rockoids.com/sample/1/

There are moments in history when destiny and chance intertwine to alter the face of the universe forever. These are times when an action, a word, a movement, is the very catalyst for an entire series of events difficult to stop once set into motion.
http://files.g4tv.com/images/blog/2008/05/29/633476562563083786.jpg
"STONEHENGE! Where the demons dwell!"

Those are some of the saddest testimonials I've ever read:

"The father-son writing team of Gene and Grayson Steinberg have written a marvelous, fast paced story of interstellar warfare and star-crossed love. The battle scenes are so descriptive, you can see the space ships explode and be consumed by gigantic balls of flame. I enjoyed this story and the authors say there is more to come about the characters and the future world of the Rockoids. Fans of Star Wars and Star Trek will enjoy this story and look forward to many more adventures of Ray and Zanther." Brenda Gill, Sime~Gen, Inc.

"Though filled with scenes of action, heroism, intergalactic political intrigue and high drama, the soul of 'Attack of the Rockoids' lies in its heart and passion for building a convincing tale of a love that spans the galaxy. A thrilling story!" Robert Simpson, former "Star Wars" and "Indiana Jones" fiction editor

"If you like Golden Age Science Fiction then you need to grab a copy of this book!" Teresa Roebuck, Just Can't Resist

http://www.technightowl.com/radio/our-cast/

YARGH

http://lousybookcovers.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/5c55c1236bb6d1964a21ef0ffaa9ace2914b2176-500x750.jpg

That's also one of the worst pennames I've ever heard.

he is transparent
he is wearing a bandana
he is enormous
he is in the snow
the surface of the lake is crooked

i just

Perfection for the imperfect.

icy hot

is it gay porn?

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51G7zRQbYwL._SL500_PIsitb-sticker-arrow-big,TopRight,35,-73_OU01_SS500_.jpg

http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/playerofgames.jpg

git atta here. that "player of games" cover is anything but lousy. that's got a seriously classic look. i am speaking, of course, as a big fan of fantasy art, and also as someone who would like that as a coffee table

also that book is awesome! it's the one i send iain virgins to. i'm 100% cool with m. banks books' continued support of the "semi-cheesy classic sci-fi novel cover art" look - let it never cease

http://www.orbitbooks.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/HydrogenSonata_UK9.jpg

Obviously the problem with that PoG cover is the artist hasn't read a single word of the book.

HS, well I see what they did there (moon=electron), just a little uninspiring rather than lousy.

actually i thought the PoG artist maybe had actually read the book - the woman (?) with legs crossed sorta reminds me of the part where the pregnant alien the main character was playing against makes a "your balls vs. my womb" side-bet on the results of the game...

you can see it in her posture dont you see?

Hmmmm... meanwhile the skull table and the wall of flames? Oh right the latter is the collapse of society at the end, suuuuure :)

I don't know why I even bother.

because that PoG book cover was totally aweso lousy?

my kid could sketch out the concept for that cover without reading the book

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_WT296Ycwut8/TTuRVe5oMXI/AAAAAAAACeA/DjbTcIDQQ8g/s1600/king_newsalem.jpg

what the shit is that

it looks like a bat flew out of her mouth

Yeah, I thought it was a bewildering choice at first, but then I thought, well, what could be more appropriate for a tale of small-town vampiric horror than some sub-Lichtenstein pop-art of an aroused woman thinking about a bat.

well...to be clear, she's thinking about a bat...with her mouth

xpost re: PoG - wall of flames is very definitely in the book as well. tables i don't know but the alien muso's play on instruments made out of bones and used garrotes etc

that said the whole thing is drawn pretty clunkily

I do not even

http://lousybookcovers.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/vampireasylum-500x357.jpg

Amanda Jayne Maclachlan is an authoress and artist. She writes and paints from her imagination and her character’s come to life with her sixth sense she has possessed since being a child. Many of Amanda’s characters are eccentric and bend the rules of normality. However they’re are plenty of author’s out there writing about Mr and Mrs normal with 2 point four kids and a dog. Amanda likes to create eccentric characters and predict how they would react to a certain situation. Creating characters is all the fun of writing along with dreaming up interesting and unusual plot lines. It is hard to place her books in a category as they can fit into many genre.” Vampire asylum” is without doubt horror fiction but it could easily fit into fantasy, para-normal, or sci fi . It also has romance and a hint of comedy. What is sure is that you will never have read anything remotely similar before. Amanda likes to surprise the reader with unexpected plot twists and unusual reactions from her characters.

Alyssa Says: Looked at this one a little deeper and found out the author had mental health issues. Also, according to her youtube channel she passed away a few months ago. Don’t know if that changes anything, but seems worth mentioning.

http://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2014/05/why-every-book-about-africa-has-the-same-cover/362101/

http://i.imgur.com/EASYkg5.png

rip-off Michael Palin 'biography' that someone is selling as an e-book on Amazon for £9.99 and is only 33 pages long, but the cover is amazing

https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/61EiBqvC5WL._SL1499_.jpg

yeesh weird!

palin as insurance adjuster

Here for Dark Palin

Chad Everett

https://www.kobo.com/gb/en/list/focus-author-fiona-leitch/7kzliK28Q81e9QjZOlvMSw

is this ever a good idea? say i have 3 of these books and see another in a shop how do i know it's not one i already have given than the covers and the titles are so similar?

(and what happened to book 4?)

murdered

Have a feeling you won’t find these in an actual bookshop