The Australian Open (of tennis) 2013 is a thing!

And it starts next week and I am going to the middle weekend. That's quite good.

Djokovic has a bye to the finals. To the big dog go the spoils, so fair enough. I'm likely to watch none of these matches due to being wrong:

Djokovic d. Querrey
Berdych d. Malisse
Nishikori d. Ferrer
Dimitrov d. Janowicz
Del Potro d. Istomin
Murray d. Monfils
Haas d. Belucci
Federer d. Kohlschreiber

Djokovic d. Berdych
Dimitrov d. Nishikori
Murray d. Del Potro
Federer d. Haas

Djokovic d. Dimitrov by some embarrassing scoreline like 6-2 6-3 6-2
Murray d. Federer

Djokovic d. Murray

I know Kei is busted up but that part of the draw is terrible and someone has to get out of it and I KNOW it will be Ferrer but come on!

why do they put my exams on at the time of the australian open and roland garros every year. it's just so fucking selfishhhhhhhhhhhh

same as every year, if serena doesn't win i'll break things. venus better not flop to voskoboeva because i want that fun 3r w/ sharapova.

remember rafael nadal?

Now, the sheilas.

Azarenka has a bye to the SF (U-Rad or Arvidsson in round 3? FFS!), at which point she will be liquefied by Serena. Good! Now both Ree and I have turned 30, I have warmed to her a lot, because she kills annoying players I can't stand. Hoping for Sharapova's collarbone injury to be mild enough to get her through scrubs and 40-year old Venus (if she makes it that far, but it would also be quite lovely for Near Peak Venus to rise and kill Maria.), but severe enough that Bartoli will get by her even though her form is unknown. It could happen, but then she'll only lose to A-Rad who pwns her.

I won't see any of these matches either.

Azarenka d Vesnina
Errani d. Pavlyuchenkova
Williams d. Peng
Petrova d. Stephens
Li. d. Zheng
Radwanska d. Hantuchova
Bartoli d. Kerber
Sharapova d. Cibulkova

Azarenka d. Pavlyuchenkova
Williams d. Petrova
Radwanska d. Li
Bartoli d. Sharapova

Williams d. Azarenka
Radwanska d. Bartoli

Williams d. Radwanska 6-0 6-0 or something.

Hmm, turn on my TV and watch Del Potro being pasted by Hewitt wtf?

Obviously, given that it's an exho tourney and everyone was prob told to let Hewitt win (maybe, idk), Del Potro wins the battle that really matters: who is hotter. Oh my, Juan Martin, you are looking lickable even with all that hair on your face.

All predix are obvious and boring:

Azarenka d. Vesnina
Pavlyuchenkova d. Kuznetsova
S.Williams d. Wickmayer
Stephens d. Petrova
Li d. Pironkova
A.Radwanska d. Ivanovic
Kerber d. Bartoli
Sharapova d. Cibulkova

Azarenka d. Pavlyuchenkova
S.Williams d. Stephens
Li d A.Radwanska
Sharapova d. Kerber

S.Williams d. Azarenka
Sharapova d. Li

S.Williams d. Sharapova

Djokovic d. Wawrinka
Berdych d. Goffin
Ferrer d. Nishikori
Dimitrov d. Almagro
Del Potro d. Cilic
Murray d. Monfils
Gasquet d. Tsonga
Federer d. Kohlschreiber

Djokovic d. Berdych
Ferrer d. Dimitrov
Murray d. Del Potro
Federer d. Gasquet

Djokovic d. Ferrer
Murray d. Federer

Djokovic d. Murray

Did anyone else catch A-Rad double bagelling Cibulkova in the Sydney final? Hilarious and embarrassing. Domi was such a moron. Every so often the camera panned to Aga with this expression of utter, disbelieving contempt on her face.

Yeah, I watched the first set and up to 6-0 1-0, then went to the gym. By the time I'd actually arrived there it was 6-0 5-0 and she'd closed it out by the time I changed. I know Aga Stans (and I'm still kinda one) will say she forced some of those errors, but Domi when in Shitbulkova mode doesn't take a lot of forcing. That she could upend some seeds so easily and then implode so spectacularly is impressive, but just makes me more pessimistic for Petra :(

Also on looking at the draw again I really hate so many sections of it. I mean, HOW CAN YOU HAVE A SECTION WHERE one of Hantuchova, Jankovic and Ivanovic is mroe or less guaranteed to get out of it? RETIRE ALL OF YOU.

Ferrer gets some talented people in his quarter but they're all injured or morons or weaklings! Those matches won't be any fun to watch. And he drew the easiest 5-8 seed too. Lucky guy! Having said that, I like how his consistent achievement annoys people, so why not. Nole carving up his field will be kind of boring too but Fed's section should be great fun.

Pessimistic for Del Potro even making the QF on basis of today but maybe he'll play himself back in and serve a bit better.

lol Dimitrov lost before I even managed to turn on the tennis.

RIP forever, Verdasco's hotness

So I was massively hungover yesterday and fell asleep at like 9pm so the first AO match I ended up watching was...Zhang Yuxuan vs. Zheng Jie. Yuxuan is decent for someone ranked in the 300s but Jie is just so sloppy these days.

Everyone's sleeper pick Grisha lost R1. Straight sets. So good at dealing with expectations. So much fight.

Second straight match Barty's won the first set and then been absolutely crushed. I really can't see what's good about her game. Domi's pomes are ridiculous.

GODfin lost from 2 sets to 1 up on FeVer :(

Can't believe Stosur actually won a match against someone she lost to last time. Chang :(

Rogowska/Safina, USO '09 remains the single worst professional match I have ever watched so WTF I'm doing watching Rogowska again I don't know. She's still terrible. I can't believe she's played eight Slam MDs just because of her nationality, she should have played ZERO.

LOL @ Hantuchova getting breadsticked by Latisha Chan :D

Kuznetsov won the first set off Monaco despite choking a 5-2 lead...

Dolonc wins despite hitting the worst second serve I've ever seen while serving for the match (a shank that literally landed in the crowd). Can someone ensure that Rogowska is never permitted into a Slam again?

So there's something I've never seen before - Hewitt challenging the call on a serve after it bounces off the net and lands close to the line. He was right, too.

Oh god Rogowska/Safina, I had forgotten that monstrosity. What was the bigger mystery there - how Safina won, or how she nearly lost?

As much as I hate sharing thoughts with Jim Courier, he is correctly pointing out that Tipsarevic has foot-faulted twice on second serves in the deuce court by his back foot creeping too far to the left.

Chan d Hantuchova 6-1 1-6 6-1

^^LIFE-GIVING SCORELINE

Ridiculous QF out of that section please, not Serbian pls.

Ladies and gentlemen, behold Yulia Putintseva:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_63gPctanLk

I see Petra deigned to win a match. She's lucky that Fran is on a faster and more terminal downward slope than she is. How many games does she win off Robson now.

Watched Mrs. Krumm trashing a woeful Nadezhda last night, 6-2 6-0 - only Krumm's third Slam win of her comeback. Also watched Lisucki embarrassing herself with a meltdown against Wozniacki - she was 3-0 in the third set and then literally could not hit a ball in court for six games. It was hilarious and awful.

Really good results all round to wake up to. Wins for Berankis, Hsieh, and a bunch of WTA children - Putintseva, Gavrilova, Beck, Muguruza (14-12 in the third), Mladenovic (11-9 in the third) and Vekic (very decisive over Hlavackova, 1 and 2). Up middle finger to Oudin, as ever.

When I went to bed Rhyne Williams had won the first two sets off Funky Flo. Wake up, final score 2-6 3-6 6-2 7-6(12) 6-1 to Flo. 1) V happy, 2) THAT 4TH SET TB LOOKS INSANE.

Bellucci flopping to Kavcic is a bout #smh though.

Kumkhum a set up on Arvidsson! :D

REALLY hope the Vekic/Wozniacki tilt is on at a decent time for me in the next round. Would love for Vekic to make a name for herself with a win. I would put money, now, on Vekic having a better career than Wozniacki, but I have no idea if she's ready yet.

Putintseva seems AMAZING

Lol @ Lisicki, went to bed after the 1st set, NID

Serena ankle roll :'( With Petrova out, her draw is now even easier though...

From 0-3 to 4-3, Wozniacki won 18 of 21 points off Lisicki unforced errors, usually by the second or third shot of the rally. It was really, really embarrassing for her.

Quite enjoying Monfils/Dolgopolov. That running volley from Dolgo at 7-7 in the TB <3

and an epic point to win the set, finished off with an angled drop-smash :D

yeah loving this

Kumkhum won!

COME ON KUMKHUM

Kumkhum's coming

Wow, Haas/Nieminen at 6-6 in the fifth...Haas DFs on BP.

Oh wait that was actually b2b DFs, lulz.

Earlier Nieminen saved a MP with a S&V...

Oh Tommy, it was 4-2 last I checked

Nieminen closes with

- a 70mph second serve that Haas fails to return
- And then two aces

holy fuck that Monfils get

why is everyone wearing yellow

lol, dumb drop shot and DF and Monfils is broken back immediately

Tomic won - yay! I suppose. Of the endless reasons to find this bloke annoying, his resemblance to Brendan Fevola heads the list.

Monfils is playing some amazing shots, which only makes moronic garbage like that third-game service loss the more inexpilcable and infuriating. Also would whichever of the Foxtel commentators is wetting himself every time Monf hits a winner, kindly desist before I throw the remote at him?

Saw Kvit monster Schiavone in sets 1 and 3 (sat out set 2 on the lawn) - in the first set she lost 9 points in five service games including a break, and six of them were double faults. Also caught Sloane Stephens (whose name if not skin tone suggests Days Of Our Lives more than tennis) absolutely annihilating Selma Hayek, sorry Selina Halep, and showing amazing speed, power and precision. One to keep an eye on?

That Monfils service game. FFS.

And then he comes up with a pass like that to break back.

Tomic press conference - he still has 'wooden' just about perfect, and the way he wobbles his head from side to side, mouth open, it must be tempting to throw a ping pong ball at him. He also nods a lot, which doesn't work that well when you can't hear the question.

Some of his pronouncements make you wish Sir Humphrey was sitting on his shoulder to imperiously cut him off with a well-timed 'Thank you, Bernard...'

Monf wins against Dalgo's serve after making a complete fart of seriving for the match...was it ever going to happen anyhow else?

I still can't work out my feelings on Tomic. Well, that's not strictly true, I think he's an arrogant dick. But his game is so pretty to watch, and I'm kinda really impressed by how he responded to the career/life tailspin he ended last year in by, y'know, working hard and buffing up and stepping his game up a level.

Comical stuff from Monfils attempting to serve for the match. First point, he's at net and Dolgopolov has a sitter, so Monfils...IMPERSONATES A PLANE :speakles: Dolgo drills him, deservedly. He's broken to love, finishing with a DF.

Dolgo obv gets broken in the next game, GSM.

Love every match Kimiko wins... Donna Vekic was, er, one week old at the time of this... A few months later Kimiko retired first time around.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HiBWF44m6aE

Oh I'd LOVE for Date-Krumm to play Vekic, how awesome would that be? (Apart from a player I support would have to lose.)

She'll have to stick around a bit to play someone born AFTER she retired - was that the end of 1996? Or after the USO? The highest-ranked girls born in 1997 are still only ranked in the 600s (Françoise Abanda, Belinda Bencic, Nadia Podoroska - maybe one of them will get a WC somewhere, Bencic already played Venus last year...)

Tomic looks like the same pusher to me, we'll see

Wouldn't read too much into Tomic thrashing (L) Mayer. Mayer is fucking dreadful and has the most ridiculously ornate swings that seem to take six years, and hasn't got any special power or placement to compensate. He's what some people think of when they think of clay court players in a disparaging way. I expect him to beat Brands handily but he won't get more than a set of Fed.

Curious about Tomic-Federer... thinking of 19yo Philippoussis upsetting Sampras at same stage all those years ago.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7hfTDuISM4U

Was just about to post that!

Just when I think, ah yes, relatively sane scheduling, a roof, etc etc.. the Australian Open's got it all.. then I remember, ah yes, it has the worst officiating (though this is obviously not on the level with the ladies' doubles final last year, ugh).

break after nearly 3 hours!!

A BREAK OF SERVE AT LAST

and that ball on tip top of the net

Djoko wins 6-3.

what was murray complaining about to the ref?

blowing off steam to get hmself ready.

no good bcz its now deuce

awesome from Murray

bit of danger, then dug that ball out beautifully

You never once thought Murray was in danger of taking that half-chance

two BPs for D here, end times etc

and Djoko makes his half-chance happen.

Nole just growing in strength and pulling away....

Even though its early in the 4th it looks like it'll be over soon.

and now D is making those dropshots come off

barely an hour after asking ourselves whether we'd be here all day it looks like we'll be allowed out early to play in the winter sunshine: 3-1

Unbelievable defence from Nole...

brilliant fkn demon defending from Djko for BP

DF it is

DF for the double break. NID

Djoko was always the better player today, although there was one point where Murray could've sneaked if he had broken at the start of the 2nd set.

That is reaching though. D was excellent.

Even now Murray can't take advantage of 0-30

Easier said than done with Djoko playing like that.

wow @ that net cord.

Nole hasn't missed an overhead all day...usually a weakness

And so he recovers form 0-30 again for CP

Wins!

Doesn't even merit Nole nudity :(

Actual nudity might happen if he wins the calendar year slam

Not feeling mad or angry that Murray has lost bcz he has a slam, its a good feeling.

Yeah knowing he has the USO makes this a lot easier to take.

worst hardcourt slam final since wood rackets

Fuck off verbose corporate sponsors

ppl went on w/ 'oh its the start of a new era' as Rog is old and Rafa is injured and perhaps gone for good. If that is so then GOD HELP US, there is NO CONTRAST between these two so I know I'm comparing this to Rog-Rafa who served such awesomeness at Wim three years straight but there is no way they'll get close to that if it carries on like this.

Needs Rafa back in good shape i think.

I don't dislike the Murray/Djokovic match-up as much as some, but it's no way as thrilling as Federer/Nadal...certainly this match was no classic. Still, I think it's good enough to keep the perception of an ATP golden age going for a few years yet. The problems start when we have to turn to the generation beneath these two because there is NO ONE apart from maybe Tomic.

worst tournament

yeah we've been spoiled for a good 7-8 years now but tennis has needed some young blood for a minute - murray and djokovic are 25, which is OLD, normally there would be some obvious future grand slam champion knocking at the door but idk who that is

There isn't a single teenager in the ATP top 250 - that's pretty bad. Apparently Patrick McEnroe was bemoaning this during the final and saying none of the younger players impressed him at all. By contrast the future of the women's game is finally starting to look up.

Roll of honour!

Men's singles: Novak Djokovic
Women's singles: Victoria Azarenka
Men's doubles: Bob Bryan & Mike Bryan
Women's doubles: Sara Errani & Roberta Vinci
Mixed doubles: Jarmila Gajdosova & Matthew Ebden
Boys' singles: Nick Kyrgios
Girls' singles: Ana Konjuh
Boys' doubles: Jay Andrijic & Bradley Mousley
Girls' doubles: Ana Konjuh & Carol Zhao

i used to pay so much closer attention to tennis
back in like 2007 or so i once predicted the QFs, SFs and F of the girls' junior event correctly (back in the days of brengle and milevskaya - wtf happened to these girls). now? i've never heard of ana konjuh :/

Konjuh's only just turned 15, she's pretty new, but she swept the Eddie Herr and Orange Bowl in Dec. I've read some serious hype about her being the real deal. She and Vekic could make a formidable Croatian Fed Cup team in a few years.

Brengle and Milevskaya are still going (ranked 189 and 395 respectively) but they're just ITF journeywomen, even though Brengle got every US WC going for years.

From an Orange Bowl news report last month:

But the star turn of the week belonged to Ana Konjuh, who pulled off the remarkable feat of winning the 18s title while still 14. The powerfully built Croatian player overwhelmed No. 2 seed Katerina Siniakova 6-3, 6-2 and now is eyeing life in the professional ranks. The power in her game is obvious, but she also revealed a variety of strokes, including drop shots and sliced backhands, and that suggests she is equipped for the hugely demanding environment of the WTA Tour.

http://msn.foxsports.com/tennis/story/orange-bowl-juniors-taylor-townsend-wins-doubles-ana-konjuh-laslo-djere-120912

thx for the info

i wanted milevskaya to make it. never seen her but i like the name 'ksenia milevskaya'

and it's a slight reminder of the wonderful evgenia linetskaya <3 <3 <3 <3

Aw, I'm kinda happy for Jarka winning the mixed. I guess the extra space on the doubles court gives her groundstrokes a bit more space to actually land within the court. Bless her, she's a trier.

Watched a bit of the boys' singles final and it was an okay match but at this stage nothing that suggests Kyrgios will win senior slams. Nothing intense going on there for mine.

New WTA rankings:

1. Victoria Azarenka (1)
2. Serena Williams (3)
3. Maria Sharapova (2)
4. Agnieszka Radwanska (4)
5. Na Li (6)
6. Angelique Kerber (5)
7. Sara Errani (7)
8. Petra Kvitova (8)
9. Samantha Stosur (9)
10. Marion Bartoli (11)
11. Caroline Wozniacki (10)
12. Nadia Petrova (12)
13. Ana Ivanovic (13)
14. Dominika Cibulkova (14)
15. Maria Kirilenko (15)
16. Roberta Vinci (16)
17. Sloane Stephens (25)
18. Lucie Safarova (17)
19. Julia Goerges (18)
20. Ekaterina Makarova (19)
21. Varvara Lepchenko (20)
22. Yanina Wickmayer (24)
23. Venus Williams (26)
24. Klara Zakopalova (22)
25. Su-Wei Hsieh (27)
26. Jelena Jankovic (21)
27. Tamira Paszek (30)
28. Anastasia Pavlyuchenkova (23)
29. Yaroslava Shvedova (28)
30. Sorana Cirstea (29)
...
32. Kirsten Flipkens (43)
38. Bojana Jovanovski (56)
40. Heather Watson (50)
43. Laura Robson (53)
50. Svetlana Kuznetsova (75)
52. Sabine Lisicki (36)
53. Francesca Schiavone (48)
55. Daniela Hantuchova (44)
77. Kimiko Date-Krumm (100)
81. Madison Keys (105)
93. Donna Vekic (111)
101. Yulia Putintseva (122)
129. Vera Zvonareva (95)

New ATP rankings:

1. Novak Djokovic (1)
2. Roger Federer (2)
3. Andy Murray (3)
4. David Ferrer (5)
5. Rafael Nadal (4)
6. Tomas Berdych (6)
7. Juan Martin Del Potro (7)
8. Jo-Wilfried Tsonga (8)
9. Janko Tipsarevic (9)
10. Richard Gasquet (10)
11. Nicolas Almagro (11)
12. Juan Monaco (12)
13. Marin Cilic (14)
14. Gilles Simon (16)
15. Milos Raonic (15)
16. John Isner (13)
17. Stanislas Wawrinka (17)
18. Andreas Seppi (23)
19. Philipp Kohlschreiber (19)
20. Sam Querrey (22)
21. Kei Nishikori (18)
22. Tommy Haas (21)
23. Aleksandr Dolgopolov (20)
24. Fernando Verdasco (24)
25. Jeremy Chardy (36)
26. Jerzy Janowicz (26)
27. Mikhail Youzhny (25)
28. Florian Mayer (28)
29. Kevin Anderson (31)
30. Jurgen Melzer (29)
...
40. Grigor Dimitrov (41)
42. Benoit Paire (46)
43. Bernard Tomic (43)
57. Ryan Harrison (62)
77. Andrey Kuznetsov (79)
85. Ricardas Berankis (110)
115. Lleyton Hewitt (81)
87. Gael Monfils (86)

Wow, Nadal at #5. That's where he was at 18, immediately before his first Roland Garros.

Impressive that he's still top 5 with less than half a year's worth of results. RG seedings could be interesting if he doesn't climb back into the top 4 before then, I've never known them to deviate from the rankings, even in the era of extreme surface specialists.

In the tiniest of tiny milestones news, both Watson and Robson have now surpassed Keothavong and Baltacha's career high rankings.

https://twitter.com/serenawilliams/status/294983969055854592

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH

Is this aimed at Ma$ha or Sloane or BOTH?

On one level I really love Serena sometimes.

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

haha that can totally be read 100 different ways, i love it