the following are all fortunes obtained from a package of fortune cookies purchased at some fortune cookie factory in Chinatown in SF
― Welcome to my world of proses (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 28 January 2013 00:17 (twelve years ago)
zombie something some men drink and other men marry
a mistress is a cutie on the q.t.
it is very easy to lie with a straight face, but it's nicer to lie with a curved body
― Welcome to my world of proses (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 28 January 2013 00:18 (twelve years ago)
good resolution is like many a modern girl, easy to make but hard to keep
nudism is a different way of looking at things
salesmanship is the difference between rape and rapture
― Welcome to my world of proses (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 28 January 2013 00:19 (twelve years ago)
the biggest difference between men and boys is the cost of their toys
90% of men who try camels still prefer women
friendly couple are one with play with each other
happy married couple is a husband out with another man's wife
― Welcome to my world of proses (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 28 January 2013 00:20 (twelve years ago)
caged canary should not fear kitties, a little pussy never hurt anyone
― Welcome to my world of proses (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 28 January 2013 00:21 (twelve years ago)
passionate picknickers should remember that some girls are like flowers - they grow wild in the woods
― Welcome to my world of proses (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 28 January 2013 00:22 (twelve years ago)
some girls are music lovers - others can love without it
― Welcome to my world of proses (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 28 January 2013 00:23 (twelve years ago)
girl should use what mother nature gave her before father time takes it away
window dresser is girl who doesn't pull down the shades
― Welcome to my world of proses (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 28 January 2013 00:24 (twelve years ago)
proposal is a proposition that lost its nerve
http://i.imgur.com/g7C3M8k.jpg
― the beers for lunch (electricsound), Monday, 28 January 2013 00:24 (twelve years ago)
man who use one finger for typing is old pecker
― Welcome to my world of proses (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 28 January 2013 00:28 (twelve years ago)
marriage is like long banquet with the dessert served first
― Welcome to my world of proses (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 28 January 2013 00:29 (twelve years ago)
farmer who can't keep hands off his wife better fire them
good clean fun - a couple taking a bath together
― Welcome to my world of proses (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 28 January 2013 00:30 (twelve years ago)
this shit is pissing me off
― available for sporting events (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Monday, 28 January 2013 00:30 (twelve years ago)
you never know how girl will turn out until her folks turn in
― Welcome to my world of proses (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 28 January 2013 00:31 (twelve years ago)
I know right? and they aren't even fortunes! the consistency is um remarkable
^^^(not a "fortune" fyi)
― Welcome to my world of proses (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 28 January 2013 00:32 (twelve years ago)
a petting party is an affair that lasts until someone gives in, gives up or gives out
― Welcome to my world of proses (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 28 January 2013 00:33 (twelve years ago)
madame is someone for whom the belles toil
a wife made to order can't compare with a ready maid
― Welcome to my world of proses (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 28 January 2013 00:34 (twelve years ago)
okay throwing away the rest of the bag now
a lot of them probably come from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Henny_Youngman
― Mordy, Monday, 28 January 2013 00:39 (twelve years ago)
Confucius say woman who fly plane upside down have crack up.
― cloacachella (how's life), Monday, 28 January 2013 00:40 (twelve years ago)
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/61F5sPNcTaL._SS500_.jpg
― Mordy, Monday, 28 January 2013 00:41 (twelve years ago)
A girlfriend's dad said that to me once.
― cloacachella (how's life), Monday, 28 January 2013 00:42 (twelve years ago)
i think this person went to the same fortune cookie factory as you: http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?p=13204185
We went out in the alley and opened one of them up. The fortunes were SO STUPID. Me and jim were like “what the heck?” some of the fortunes were… “Wing Lu Yu says: Farmer who can’t keep hands off his wife better fire them”….. or “Wing Lu Yu says: alimony is like putting gasoline into another man’s car” “wild Indian who not know one end from another end up with a weird collection of scalps”.
― Mordy, Monday, 28 January 2013 00:42 (twelve years ago)
Belles toil aint bad tbh xp
― bully4u.co.uk (darraghmac), Monday, 28 January 2013 00:42 (twelve years ago)
this bag was a gift from my dad. not sure how to break it to him that it's full of mysognystic drivel.
― Welcome to my world of proses (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 28 January 2013 00:43 (twelve years ago)
http://www.cadolphmoores.com/lunatic-ravings/2009/8/21/x-rated-fortune-cookies-poon.html
― Mordy, Monday, 28 January 2013 00:45 (twelve years ago)
These fortunes reek of unabashed dictionaries and the lesser short fiction of John Cheever.
― Big Sambola & The Tailspinners (C. Grisso/McCain), Monday, 28 January 2013 02:44 (twelve years ago)
waiting for the companion thread sexiest fortune cookie factory
― 乒乓, Monday, 28 January 2013 02:45 (twelve years ago)
http://www.uwishunu.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/10/chinese_cookie_factory.jpg
― Mordy, Monday, 28 January 2013 02:46 (twelve years ago)
I recently got one that read, "A man's best possession is a sympathetic wife."
― Nate Carson, Monday, 28 January 2013 03:17 (twelve years ago)
the sexist fortune cookie factory version says "synthetic wife"
― rockism against racism (schlump), Monday, 28 January 2013 03:18 (twelve years ago)
one I had once: "I don't want to worry you, but right now your car is being broken into"
(this was not true)
― Mark G, Monday, 28 January 2013 07:36 (twelve years ago)