how to cope with stress

stay the hell away from (over zealous) boozing. make close freinds with your fellow masters students, and talk to other people like me who are mired in academia.

AIM- rodserling1

Apart from that, I'd say (especially if you will be entering graduate study) ALWAYS factor in some Me-time, doing something you like to do (e.g., listening to music, going for ice cream, whatever makes you happy). Two other tips: exercise is always a good stress-fighter, and so is getting a massage (usually a bit pricey, yes, but completely worth it if you find someone who's experienced). Some people also try meditation or yoga. All of these things' effectiveness will depend on the person. I love a good exercise workout, but find I don't have the patience for yoga, etc...

What I think was really effective was having a nice place to live, and trying to keep that place separate from where you do your work (try and learn to work at university it is better in the long run).

Also try and get a supervisor you trust - someone that you will feel ok about telling that you might get stressed ocasionally. They will not be surprised by this (most people do) AND they'll probably respect you for recognising that this might be a problem and asking for advice about it from the start rather than suddenly freaking out and vanishing from their ken for months at a time.

It is also a good idea to try and maintain interests that are not related to what you're studying (like exercise as others have said I guess). Also maintain friendships so that if you are feeling stressed people will kindly take you for coffee breaks etc (which are crucial) and forgive your rudeness.

Actually maybe I should send you an email cos then I can tell you the exact names of people like the most understanding Dr at student health etc.

Di, just be good to yourself and give yourself lots of treats.

Well, keep in mind that booze is a depressant. And it can be pretty seductive/reinforcing when it comes to getting one to avoid responsibilities that are less-than-immediately inviting. :)

As my own personal rule, I refuse to drink even a can of beer when I've had the most shittiest of days, because I'm wary of linking the two in my head (alcohol = escape from shitty day).

My own solutions to stress usually involve playing music very loudly and not giving a fuck about much else. This is admittedly not very productive. Then again I'm not much of an exerciser per se...

I used to be a lot like this, and at its worst I used beta blockers and short counselling sessions to get over panic attacks (you really need the two together). Now I'm just all REPRESS and SEPARATE. Two lives: the miserable unfinished Phd over here, the pretty much ok rest of me over there. Granted if swung too far this end of the pendulum also has bad effects; without panic-induced adrenalin it's hard to take the work (and the deadlines) totally serious, and you risk dragging out what you're trying to do beyond what's reasonable. But I bet you can find a better mid-point, and really, I'll take mental health and a reasonable degree of contentment over the academic edge you might get from total immersion anytime.

Wot chemicals?

(Sarah: "not running herself down on the boards for no good reason" hem hem)

If you will note I have blamed my mentalism on my boss anyway.

Jogging, swimming and walking do not seem to work.

It is vital that the exercise is done to loud music and with a group of people.

Buy a pumpkin. Carve a face into it (sort of like a jac o' lantern, but without the candle), leave it outside the persons front door. Use a big knife to pin a note to it. The note should simply say "you". You may wish to now press their doorbell and run away, some people will simply leave the pumpkin there until discovered. It is a matter of personal preference.

That way you get rid of a lot of stress, and nobody gets hurt.

(credit to the original author)

lately feeling sort of tightness in chest towards the end of my days at work. i have had probs with sinuses and breathing and stuff before, like physical stress i guess caused by illness, but think cos my job is really busy might be triggering it a bit more.

is the advice to deal with this as obvious as it seems, eg:

-less booze
-eat better
-go to bed earlier

any more than this?

-exercise

watch your posture and get some exercise during the day

seriously dude--i had the exact same thing and these were my answers

-sunshine

not sure how i forgot exercise! it's weird cos this is almost certainly due to my longrunning health probs (which basically i stopped going to docs about cos had every imaginable test/theory and it was ruining my life), just weird chronic stuff, but also i'm sure my job being more stressful has brought it on too.

had similar symptoms a year or ago. i was super stressed at work and not ever really 'relaxing'. in my time off i'd just go out often, drink a lot and do too many drugs. for me the solution was to cut back on that stuff (not completely) and try to really force myself to spend some time 'relaxing'. i found a bit of exercise helped me feel like doing this too. also just to stop worrying about it was key.

Exercise burns off the nervous energy, gives you something to actually be tired about at night so you sleep better, AND at least for me, always reminds me that whatever else happens, I have a capable and responsive and healthy body that no one can diminish, even if I'm feeling insecure about other abilities. I might be a failure emotionally, romantically, socially, professionally, etc, but it's good to feel strong and capable.

yes yes to exercise, it's been my stronghold over the past month for my stress

and just simply relaxing might sound obvious, but really try and do it.

when people say relaxing what do you mean? i mean...relaxing for me would be watching a film, reading, maybe cooking or something...

relaxing to me is sitting in a beer garden with cigs and decent company.

yeah, just rapping with other people is a good thing, it always helps me.

however, take care not to just unburden yourself like crazy, they're comrades not your shrink.

I'm with teh bard on that'n : give every man thy ear, but few thy voice

give every thread your posts

Heh, yeah it's not even like there's much to unburden, my work is great but busy, rather than stressful due to me hating it or whatever.

Stress is so weird and subjective - how one minute something can seem so overwhelming and doomy and the next you can suddenly see it in perspective for the minor thing it truly is and it's no biggie. I go through this at least once a day, kind of tiring.

For stress, I meditate/do yoga and I listen to the radio (talking not music). Walking is also good. And reading a really good book that has nothing to do with my "normal" life or ambitions.

that helps. but i still feel like there are not enough hours in the day and too many things to do and too many things put aside for another day but which really need to be done asap. and when one thing gets done there's another thing still to do. it is hard to breathe, but i am doing it. but aaagh. it makes me feel very all alone at the moment. garrr.

Don't worry, rrrobyn. You are not alone. When you feel that way, I would avise unplugging completely. It is the hardest thing to do, I know, but it is the thing that will help you.

but deadlines!

IF you have many that they effectively cancel each other out, then you may as well forget them. or at least forget one or two. Negotiate

stress affects me physically, makes me feel tired and drained. i have a nervous stomach too (tmi, maybe).

unplugging for a moment is a good idea, i know. i've been here before. it's just that when it builds and builds it starts to overwhelm. but yes, i can negotiate one of the deadlines. thx
good new display name btw :)

I checked and "samosa gibreel" had already used it!!!

i feel like stress makes me look like a cornered animal.
maybe i am just working in the wrong field. yet i like so much abt it. but so much drives me crazy. it's like, i want to do these things with my life/career but they all seem to = more stress not less. which freaks me out too. i don't want to be like stress stress stress vacation stress stress stress. i don't even have money for vacations!
anyway, i should work a bit more and then unplug. it was also really crazy in the office today and i think the craziness (unrelated to my own work) got inside my head. i am sensitive :/

haha ohno! lol still good

awesome welles :)

There are so many ways to deal with stress, but the only sure fire way to NOT deal with stress is to not deal with STRESSORS. Like, its a three step process:

1. ID that motherfucker
2. Formulate a plan to get rid of said motherfucker
3. Implement, rinse, repeat.

The worst thing is to get stuck in your own echoplex of self-doubt and pity. The WORST. I mean, I understand and have experienced massive bouts of depression. That is some debilitating shit. But, apart from actual ailments, just wallowing in your stress or hoping that the stressors will go away will not make them go away. I promise.

For me, exercise always always always works. Laying off the booze and smokes always leads to better nights of sleep, more energy, and less stress. Talking about what stresses you works, but really only if you are trying to id, plan, or implement. Just bitching has its place, but don't get lulled to complacency by the sound of your own complaint. Leave that shit to the stand-up comedians.

i know, that's the thing, i never bitch about it! i just get shit done. but i also let some things slip, and then that pile of things builds, and voila stress... it's like, i watched two movies this wkend and did some reading as a break from work and now the work is crazy and i'm like, well, i guess i need to work every day. but yes, self-doubt is what will kill me. i don't want pity, but i guess i do want help? fine lines...
feeling a bit better now tbh. i let it overwhelm me, but am coming back to reality.

you are me.

You're not a Gemini, by any chance?

Anyway, it's like, yeah, I don't even really have weekends any more. But I LOVE getting shit done, too much for my own good. Can't remember the last time I sat down and listened both sides of a record, for example.

Wait is this a gemini thing? I might be one in for astrology if it meant I got a scapegoat like that.

Oh I don't know. It just sounded like she was describing me.

aquarius, moon in gemini tho. a slight battle there... like i want/need to take the time to dig into things but have too many things on the go and that starts to freak my brain out after a while... i think i wldn't mind not having wkends if i were only working solidly on one or two things at a time.
listening to sonny sharrock, feeling okay.
thx :)

IF you have many that they effectively cancel each other out, then you may as well forget them. or at least forget one or two. Negotiate

stress happens most to me when this is all impossible, when things are non-negotiable (or when i've suddenly realised that i've passed the point where negotiation is an option)

i hate it when symptoms of stress keep cropping up unbidden, like oh hi something ELSE to stress about, thanks for that.

I don't know. I'm sort of pretty solid on this idea that if something is stressing you out that much, you can drop it, and fuck the consequences. Nothing's worth falling to pieces over and often with time and distance, you realize that certain (external) things really are less important that you think.

but if it was droppable and the consequences fuckable then...i wouldn't be stressed! i drop things all the time. i don't think that was applicable to eg the ongoing fiasco that was my degree back in the day.

I don't know. I'm sort of pretty solid on this idea that if something is stressing you out that much, you can drop it, and fuck the consequences.

this. i value my (relative) sanity.

b-b-but don't you see lex???

okay, finished something, feeling better. that's how it goes...
i think the thing is that certain things might not be droppable but the way we think about them as OMG my head will explode if i don't get this done! can be changed - even if it doesn't feel like it in the moment. i can't actually do my work if i feel crazy like that. so i breathe, walk, even go on ilx and freak out a little (lol). one of my strategies, which has worked for years and years, is just saying fuck it and going to sleep and setting an alarm for really early in the morning and finishing work then. put into perspective, it's kind of amazing to have the luxury of being able to do that.

what has been happening lately tho is the bigger 'what am i doing with my life???' freak out, so...

slowly formulating a 5-year-plan (for the first time!)

I don't know. I'm sort of pretty solid on this idea that if something is stressing you out that much, you can drop it, and fuck the consequences. Nothing's worth falling to pieces over and often with time and distance, you realize that certain (external) things really are less important that you think.

Certain things like food, shelter, and bills, apparently.

If you're at that point, I would recommend therapy.

Not doing so well today myself, but I think I need a bath a book and a good night's sleep. I feel literally like a bundle of nerves

those sound like good things.
i almost blew a gasket today but realized as i was about to that it just wasn't worth it, in so many ways (for mind/body self + who throws a fit at work, not me). was going to go see a movie but it was sold out. going to shower, listen to music, read, drink tea. calm...

My bag broke today, I missed a deadline, blew off some meetings, felt self-conscious and slightly paranoid. At least I am now capable of recognizing that this feeling is totally subjective. It is hard to go through a really busy day feeling that way though.

self-reflective steps on the way to change...

I don't know. I'm sort of pretty solid on this idea that if something is stressing you out that much, you can drop it, and fuck the consequences.

I was a stan of this for years and now I've been on a kick against it. I think too much of this attitude can lead to you kind of boxing yourself in, avoiding everything that stresses you out and thus limiting your choices. Finding ways to confront the underlying causes of the stress can be good too. Although yeah sometimes there's just shit you don't need in your life.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jgY4oupqRUg

I cope with stress by popping pills. I know this is not a long term solution. But I do feel I am in a situation where I do need pills (or a helping aid). Dropping it is a possibility but on the whole I like this situation even with the stress. Does that make any sense at all? Maybe because I don't know any alternatives, but I do love the job that I do (and the life that goes with it). I also know that it's myself who's causing the stress, not the situation.

Called up a therapist. I am in conflict with myself when it comes to this. I wish I could just take the pills forevah and evah but then again I do need to have a talk with her and myself. I need to try and find a solution, way of dealing with this and just plain understanding why I felt/feel the way I do.

I do wonder if I have recurring depression. Had it before (for the exact same reasons). Maybe I'm prone to this shit and need to accept it?

i just discovered a box of tea in my cupboard that i didn't even realize was there - i guess i bought it on a whim and forgot? anyway, it's called "Easy Now: A nervous system tonic for mild tension and stress" - lol! ("Calme Maintenant" en francais). it's pretty good. feeling less stressed today, even though i have a tonne of work to do in the next several days, plus a multi-day music festival to go to! (cry me a river. haha)

ugh =(

I just want to get into bed and lie there for a million years, staring at the ceiling and talking to nobody

imagine the beard I would grow

damn this capitalist oligarchy that has us as its beleaguered whipping boy!! have you no place for art

hang in there, buddy. take a 5min break for a coffee/beer/cig/walk when u can.

cigarette? yes I'd like one of those. do you have one? are you in northeast la?