Striking Up Conversations With Strangers

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OK, let's start by making a huge generalisation and say that the following groups of ppl are more likely to strike up conversations with strangers: students more likely than working people, ppl from North of England more so than from the South, ppl from the countryside more so than townies, ppl from Australia & New Zealand more so than those from the USA and UK.

But in spite of these differences, can we (ie, ILE posters) reach any consensus as to when it is and when it's not acceptable to start talking to strangers? are some ppl definitely too uptight about this and some unsufferably prone to start chatting away to the person next to them on the bus etc?

― MarkH (MarkH), Thursday, 26 September 2002 10:06 (twenty-three years ago)

students more likely than working people

?? Is this even true as a generalisation?

And as for Australisan and Kiwis, have you only met the ones who are over here? Cause that's a very skewed sample.

Another generalisation - mentalists and sleazeballs more than nice people. Yet talking to strangers is a good thing, no?

Toraneko to thread.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 26 September 2002 10:10 (twenty-three years ago)

I'll start the ball rolling by saying that most ppl would agree that one shouldn't start talking to a stranger in a situation where it is obv. that our personal safety might be threatened. So adults tell their kids not to and we shy away from talking to strangers in lonely places at night (which is one of the reasons why the Ron Davies incident attracted so much attention, tho obv. there were others).

― MarkH (MarkH), Thursday, 26 September 2002 10:13 (twenty-three years ago)

Some previous thread around this subject:

Talking To Strangers

http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id=002iDm

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 26 September 2002 10:34 (twenty-three years ago)

I don't because what would I say.

having said that I did go to a rec shop recently. I asked for a rec. while the guy was checking to see if it was there one guy was getting a rec i rilly liked so i wanted to say 'that's a good one' or somefink but i didn't. and that's that!

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Thursday, 26 September 2002 10:35 (twenty-three years ago)

Rargh.

― toraneko (toraneko), Thursday, 26 September 2002 10:56 (twenty-three years ago)

I seem to get more than my fair share of strangers talking to me. About three weeks ago, I sat next to a middle-aged woman on a bench & got to talking to her. After about 5 minutes, she wrote down her address & invited me over for dinner. I haven't called her back but I just just might. Has any good ever come out of talking to strangers? Stories, please.

― Miss Laura, Thursday, 26 September 2002 14:30 (twenty-three years ago)

Well, every single person I have ever met was a stranger I started talking to, so the answer to Miss Laura's question is...er...debatable.

Less facetiously I have become good friends with random stranger I started talking to or (more often) started talking to me for no real reason

― Sofa King Alternative (Sofa King Alternative), Thursday, 26 September 2002 14:38 (twenty-three years ago)

i always attract talking strangers, usually in one of three places:
the pub, the bookies, at the bus stop. the strangers are invariably men so either i look like a nice guy or a r*nt boy.

― michael wells (michael w.), Thursday, 26 September 2002 14:49 (twenty-three years ago)

I am definitely too uptight about strangers talking to me. It annoys and upsets me. I have enough friends and don't want to make anymore. Perhaps this is wrong. A chap on the bus once started talking to me while I was reading the paper and I just kept reading and he just kept talking and I was so cross I had to ask him (politely, mind) if I had at any point indicated I wanted him to talk to me. He had to concede that I hadn't. Perhaps this was rude. I don't think I care though.

― Madeleine (Madeleine), Thursday, 26 September 2002 17:25 (twenty-three years ago)

N. refers to last year's thread, which was basically posted after me and tom were waylaid by a homeless in a pub in oxford who ended up telling me his life story and then me giving him quite a bit of money. in my defence (do i need a defence?) it was the week after 9/11 and i was still rather fucked in the head by the whole thing and trying to rationalise by trying to be nice to someone, even if he was lying to me, and that just giving someone money isn't really going to help etcetcetc...

― CarsmileSteve (CarsmileSteve), Thursday, 26 September 2002 21:18 (twenty-three years ago)

I myself am terrible when it comes to talking to strangers, I think I'm just a bad conversationalist. I don't do probing questions very well at all, and am not at all uncomfortable with silences.

Conversely, a good friend of mine will talk to anyone, anywhere, all the time. On a recent night in London (In London!) she spoke to everyone in the Pod we were in on the Eye, The Barman at the pub, instantly engaged 3 of my other friends who she hadn't met before, chatted to the people on the table behind us, and on the way home spoke to two different groups of people on the train.
All these people were happy to pass the time - none seemed to think she was mental.
This more strangers than I have spoken to in 5years. I resolved to try and be more like her. Witness the next day when I went into a shop soaking wet:
Shop Assistant: "Is it raining?"
Me: "Yes."

― Simeon (Simeon), Friday, 27 September 2002 10:49 (twenty-three years ago)

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