Food Industry Wanker Words

I JUST WANT A FUCKING SANDWICH OKAY?

1. Artisan

2. Barista

3. Homemade

4. Deli

5. Energising

6. Rustic

7. Traceable

8. Gastro

9. Basket

10. Daily

11. Quotidian

12. Honest

13. Good

14. Creative

15. Organic

16. Local

17. Fairtrade

(note I'm not against these things as things just when they're used to justify the price of an £8 baguette with a bit of salad and cheese in it.)

18. Premium

19. Kitchen

how is "deli" a wanker word?

arguably the only reason wanker words are needed is because "just a sandwich" most likely means it's full of total shit and made in the worst way possible.

not that something like "artisan" isn't a worthy target. but food clichés would be a better way of describing it.

how is "deli" a wanker word?

It's not a wanker word in America but it is here because it's trying to sound American.

the word deli has been used for as long as i can remember, and i grew up in ireland.

arguably the only reason wanker words are needed is because "just a sandwich" most likely means it's full of total shit and made in the worst way possible.

There are still shops where you can go in, order a sandwich made with combinations of fresh, plain ingredients, and it is not "full of total shit" but neither is there any fuss made in marketing.

how is "deli" a wanker word?

― Tioc Norris (LocalGarda), Friday, 1 March 2013 09:32 (17 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Oh come on!

the word deli has been used for as long as i can remember, and i grew up in ireland.

It's an attempt to sound American. I'm not sure when it started to get used in the UK (probably the 1970s or 1980s) but it seems to have really taken off more recently.

Had a rant about 'artisanal' on twitter the other day and, I think it was Marcello, pointed out quite rightly that it breaks into 'art is anal' which is lol but I dunno why.

If no one actually sleeps in the sandwich shop or pub kitchen, then it's NOT homemade.

just because the likes of pret use people's growing interest in eating food that's well-sourced as a way to make their offerings seem better, doesn't mean that that interest is misguided. we shouldn't allow that to erode the truth.

deli was used in the local corner shop where i grew up, for the last 20 years or so. like about as old school a deli as you could imagine.

I'm not sure when it started to get used in the UK (probably the 1970s or 1980s) but it seems to have really taken off more recently.

in the sense of there being more delis now (presumably true) or in the sense of it getting used for establishments that would once have been called something else (maybe true but can't think of any irl examples)?

There are still shops where you can go in, order a sandwich made with combinations of fresh, plain ingredients, and it is not "full of total shit" but neither is there any fuss made in marketing.

OTM. I'm not not going to buy my food from somewhere because they didn't prefix every item on their menu with "wholesome" or "artisan", Jesus. "Try our Delicious Organic Fairy-Powered Rustic Flowerleaf Tea with fucking Fairy Dust Sprinkled on top of it by our Barista for just £2.99" - it's as manipulative as fast food marketing IMO.

deli was used in the local corner shop where i grew up, for the last 20 years or so. like about as old school a deli as you could imagine.

― Tioc Norris (LocalGarda), Friday, 1 March 2013 09:53 (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

A boy could kick a ball...

Barista literally just means 'bar man' etymologically, doesn't it?

for the last 20 years or so

So you agree with me, then?

"homemade" is the one here that really grinds my gears on the reg

Deli is fair play as a truncation of delicatessen. One of my favourite, most-visited shops is a deli.

If it is a delicatessen, fair enough. If it's a cafe or sandwich shop GTFO.

'Slow-roasted' gets me. Say SLOWLY, for fuck's sake. It sounds nicer. Likewise 'pan-fried'. 'Over-roasted'. Those stupid fucking tautological portmanteaus piss me off.

oven not over, but y''know.

Salad bars in work canteens get called "delis".

you guys really need to distinguish between irritating marketing, and people describing the provenance of something which actually is important and factual, and only perceived as snobby because of how poor the standards have become, fuck a horse in that grinder, it's grand lads.

Deli is fair play as a truncation of delicatessen

Yes, and that's how it is in America, but in my opinion it's been appropriated here at least partly BECAUSE it's American.

not because it's a fairly useful word to describe what a deli is.

FOOD SELLER or you are a pretentious wanker

There was a delicatessen in our town where I grew up too, but it was a shop that sold specialist meats and cheeses and things in jars. It didn't sell pre-prepared sandwiches with sesame seeds sprinkled into the bread.

not because it's a fairly useful word to describe what a deli is.

Why not call it a delicatessen?

the deli near me was in a londis.

xpost i am pretty sure delicatessan was used on signs and stuff, maybe deli is just a more colloquial term.

i think people are misinterpreting how sincerely i feel about things ITT. jees guys, it's a parody thread, not a political manifesto.

No, DL, you don't have a sense of humour, and aren't allowed to do parody or irony threads.

I don't suppose now is a good time to mention 'hand-crafted' as a wanker word

becuase it is driving me insane. it's everywhere in Sacramento right now and I haaate it

handcrafted baked goods, handcrafted lattes, handcrafted sandwiches...makes everything sound like a sewing bee

you know what this thread needs

some super-saddened cheez-gutted wolf meat

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9uwyqOjg51r05508o1_400.jpg

hand-crafted donkey sauce

why do they put all those fruity descriptions on wine bottles, it's all just pretentious twaddle, they should just say "red" or "white" imo

https://images.awesomebooks.com/images/books/medium/97807/9780718154400.jpg

http://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BMjE2NTQ4MzcxN15BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwMzAzMzcyMQ@@._V1_SX214_.jpg

http://images.contentreserve.com/ImageType-100/0211-1/%7B8E436A55-72BE-4182-9051-10F35467E11E%7DImg100.jpg

http://stuartr.co.uk/DeliciousLibrarySite/covers/book/book152.jpg

Yes it's important to like everything

Some restaurants definitely put their genius and effort into the menu descriptions rather than the food itself.

Some serious bad vibes in this thread. But Mr Latin you have a point and it is very much a thing.

not every restaurant is good

3. HomeHousemade

for singlehandedly turning a dim list thread into a run at all-time glory i present to local garda this locally-sourced ribbon

http://www.funservicesinc.com/party_supplies_prizes/images/MVP_Ribbon.jpg

never forget

I was looking in M&S earlier and they totally do this in their food hall - all the single portion ready-mades for pensioners say "cottage pie", yet move into the deli range and it names the potato types throws in buzzwords all over the shop.

I've thought of a great Bristol example too - those two twat brothers on Channel 4 are from Herbert's bakery. A well-respected local place, and 10 years ago it was there and The Bread Store that supplied pretty much all the cafes etc. About 5 years ago Hooper's House bread started popping up, usually in the Stokes Croft trustifarian hangouts and for the past year there's been a pop-up bread store in the old Sofa Riot. Generally their bread is about £1 a loaf more expensive than Herbert's, but you know, taking on the big boys, can't get economies of scale etc. Then I found out last week it's the same people, from the same bakery. They're keeping that quiet, and similarly that they've started a pie company for the same sort of cafes which is being marketed as a home kitchen start-up company.

have you guys seen this yet?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mu8QthlZ6hY

it doesn't really have anything to do with this thread. kinda wonder when it will be yanked by bigfood.

m&s is a premium supermarket, most customers probably want to know the details of the food, i'd have said.

as for potato types, both my grannys (rip) would discuss different potato brands as if they were obscure german techno labels.

There's a joke about the Irish obsessing over potatoes in there somewhere.

I swear to god, I think it's common enough, based on conversations with friends. I can remember finding it so boring as a kid when my granny would ask what the potatoes were and then discuss various potatoes she had recently eaten or her personal preferences and long-standing bowel disagreements with "records" (a type of potato) or "kerr's pinks".

yeah who the hell doesn't know or are about the difference between varieties of potatos? I work in the fruit & veg section at t£$¢o & believe me, this isn't a food snob thing - it's an everyone thing. Is it silly to have a preferenced for different types of apple?

*know or care

I have to say my series of posts last night were classic "go to bed wins" posts, sorry if I came across a bit aggy dog latin. But fwiw "Yes it's important to like everything" is not what I was trying to say there at all, it was just that some of the rhetoric itt sounded awfully familiar to me. Like for me the main thing that links the 3 things I posted isn't "complaining" or "being negative". It's that ime the sort of ppl who'd have a problem with words like "traceable" being used tend to reside somewhere along the clarkson/grumpy old men/never use a long word when a short one will do axis. Not suggesting you're like that of course but you're not keeping the best company

My point is that the regular product just tells you what it is. The more expensive it gets, the flowerier the language on the cardboard sleeve gets (even if it looks fairly indistinguishable in the packaging). It also leads to a more fundamental question - why wouldn't you use the best potatoes for, say, mashing in all your product that has mashed potato in it? The fact you're bothering to mention what it is on the sleeve means you're making a distinction which must surely be to imply they're better.

Actually M&S are the kings of this - they have a 'gastro' range and a 'deli' range named in exactly the way dl was complaining at the top. With no context and just to imply they're better.

They probably are better though! Of course you'd want to draw attention to the product with the nicer ingredients.

It also leads to a more fundamental question - why wouldn't you use the best potatoes for, say, mashing in all your product that has mashed potato in it?

for the same reason not all chickens are free-range & corn-fed. It's no mystery.

btw idg this one:

9. Basket

what does this refer to?

repurposing

flavor profile

unsure of the wank factor of these terms but here they are

Hehe, it's cool wins. I think I was having a funny old day and my cranky side came out. It's not like this actually enrages me as much as I was making out. A shitty morning and then being faced by that pamphlet was enough to turn me into Victor Meldrew.

i can take all the buzzwords if it means that i can get pork belly and kimchi tacos at the lunch place on the corner. and i can. and i did yesterday! mmmmmmm.....

this was not an option in the woods of new england until the foodie explosion.

I get the annoyance at this shit but it only bothers me if the food itself doesn't live up to the language describing it, which generally happens at chain-y places that are trying to latch onto the foodie trend. even something like "chipotle mayo"...I never taste chipotle in it. "honey-glazed smoked chicken". really? tastes blander than bland, no honey or smokiness.

Actually M&S are the kings of this - they have a 'gastro' range and a 'deli' range named in exactly the way dl was complaining at the top. With no context and just to imply they're better.

this is branding, it's similar, if more subtle, to their having "chinese" or "indian" on the types of food. the gastro stuff is shit like scotch eggs or pub type food and the deli stuff is cold meats or antipasti or "things you buy in a deli".

The more expensive it gets, the flowerier the language on the cardboard sleeve gets (even if it looks fairly indistinguishable in the packaging). It also leads to a more fundamental question - why wouldn't you use the best potatoes for, say, mashing in all your product that has mashed potato in it?

Most stuff in M&S is more expensive, if you're paying extra then you may want to know what you're paying for in more detail.

The idea that lies grow along with price was probably invented by the marketing industry.

You also get more flowery/obsequious language in posher branches of supermarkets than in the same supermarket in a sketchier area. In Sketchytown, a sign will say 'sorry about the mess, we're remodeling' while the branch in Poshville's sign will say 'please accept our sincere apologies for the appearance of this branch while we undergo refurbishment'. ISTR that one branch was in Archway and the other I compared it to was in Highgate.

Bethnal Green Tesco says "if you don't like it, fuck off"

Suzy In Sketchytown sounds like the best Tama Janowitz short story.

LOL at the pair of you.

I'm not sure why LG assumes that dl doesn't understand the concepts of branding and marketing? Because, tbh, I thought that was exactly what this thread was about - branding tactics that annoy? I mean, I could take a pedantic, condescending tone on the 'Innocent Smoothies' thread and explain exactly what it is they're doing and why it works, but that's not really the spirit of the thread, and I'm fairly sure most people on there understand the branding strategy, they just think it's horrible.

Nothing that comes out of a meeting room where at least five of the attendees are wearing horrible black viscose trousers is going to produce branding that doesn't annoy the fuck out of most of ILX.

xp I guess it's a baby/bathwater thing w this thread. I mean the innocent smoothies aesthetic is straight-up horrible, but to charge in saying that "fairtrade", "homemade" and "traceable" are wanker words is a little uhh

but dl has already explained that it was a lazy friday semi-serious feigned-anger-on-the-internet thread & I guess we should have treated it as such from the start

When did the artisinal/americanism/locavore thing start happening in London? I've spent a lot of time in Brooklyn over the last year or so and remember thinking this right here isn't something you really see in London, then all of a sudden it seemed everyone in London was talking about this stuff. Can't tell if it was in London longer and I just didn't notice, or if it suddenly sprung up at some point during the last year

it usually takes at least 2 or 3 years to swim across the ocean.

the spotted pig certainly infuential here. via england. via alice waters. via nyc. everyone wanted to open up a place like that after that place opened up.

I'm not sure why LG assumes that dl doesn't understand the concepts of branding and marketing? Because, tbh, I thought that was exactly what this thread was about - branding tactics that annoy? I mean, I could take a pedantic, condescending tone on the 'Innocent Smoothies' thread and explain exactly what it is they're doing and why it works, but that's not really the spirit of the thread, and I'm fairly sure most people on there understand the branding strategy, they just think it's horrible.

I don't think that's an accurate summary of the arguments on this thread, at all.

perhaps they can be re-enacted for those who weren't present first time round

joeks, obv