Give expression to your poor self-image

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Emma has just unwittingly provided me with a new game by describing her look as 'past-it MTV presenter'.

What pithy put downs you can think of to describe your own look?

― Nick, Monday, 13 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Does that mean she looks like Paul King? God that is scary.

― Jonnie, Monday, 13 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Memorable as Emma's description was, I don't want this to turn into a thread about her. So I'll attempt my own : anorexic Britpop cast-off attempting a move into children's TV.

― Nick, Monday, 13 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Not my whole look, just my look in certain sunglasses which I still have in my possession and have not been stolen. I am officially past it as an MTV starlet as in their recent competition to find a new bimbo, ahem presenter, they stipulated aged 18-25. I am 26. Hence past it.

I am sure my helpful mother could help you out on put downs of my look having totally wrecked my self esteem on Saturday by constantly yammering on about her goddaughter who is exactly my age but oh Laura is so thin/wears such pretty shoes/has such a good job/her fiance is so lovely.

― Emma, Monday, 13 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Due to my trainers ripping my feet up I now have to wear jeans and shoes and this makes me look like a mature student.

― Jonnie, Monday, 13 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

if I was feeling malicious i'd desribe myself as a camp Sting.

― Disco Dave, Monday, 13 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Today's Look should not be put down as it is 1950s secretary. It would all work a lot better though if accessorised with the correct eyewear.

― Emma, Monday, 13 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I fear that the addition of said eyewear would only make you look like a past it MTV secretary would had given up trying to break into presenting.

― Nick, Monday, 13 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

It seems we have now moved from putting down our own looks to putting down other people's despite not even knowing what they are wearing and despite having stolen their accessories.

― Emma, Monday, 13 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Well no one seems to want to put themselves down. Perhaps Momus would like to do it for us. As well as the picnic photos, he can get pointers here.

― Nick, Monday, 13 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Blimey Nick give us time. I've been racking my brains for a perfect metaphor for how ghastly I look today. Like a hungover sixth-form geography teacher who's had to borrow one of his pupils' shirts, maybe.

― Tom, Monday, 13 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Dowdy civil servant. 30 denier black tights (I'm sorry but they feel GREAT!), brown below knee cord skirt, grey high necked top, with some may say the slight let down of cheap mucky blue Pumas. So scratch that, dowdy and DOESN'T CARE civil servant. I looks like what I is. However, the high neck thing is rather cool. Perhaps I should be in a casual PR firm, and making coffee.

May I add today that I left my money at home and therefore have not even had a flipping lunch break?? Not even had any COFFEE????

― Sarah, Monday, 13 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Did I just sound like Ally? Warn me if so.

― Sarah, Monday, 13 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

My look has always been a variation on the Jewel Thief concept when it isn't a variation on the Riot Grrrl concept (and I don't think any picnic-goers knew the Momus Fashion Police would hover, Big Brother- like, over their sartorial choices - not that they give a royal fux). Nick Not Dastoor knows better than to diss what I wear because them's fightin' words. Especially coming from dear old Uncle Perv.

The thing is, my pithy phrases to describe my/others' fashion choices (Prada Meinhof, Diet Frischmann, PJ Hardly, Farmer Patti Smith) bring joy to the few fashion eds in London/Paris/NYC who still know how to laugh.

Once described a LARGE friend in short dress/no tights combination as Northern From The Back. She is still living it down. Those guys who look like they fancy a bit of rock-climbing in central Shoreditch I call Urban Warriors. There are more, but I have important work to do.

― suzy, Monday, 13 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I think the fact that people insist on calling me "Hootie" sas more than I ever could.

― Dan Perry, Monday, 13 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

My favourite description of a look is Glamoflage which was the official Miss Selfridge name for all that sparkly one shoulder camoflage stuff around a few months back. I have many many looks, 1950s secretary is based on the fact that I have on a just-past-the- knee pencil skirt + black heels combo.

― Emma, Monday, 13 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

So are you going to join the Cutest Couple after all?

― the pinefox, Monday, 13 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Oh, plus: people think I am four feet tall. Why? We don't know.

― the pinefox, Monday, 13 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

It is bad manners to remind people of things they said whilst drunk on the internet 3 days later.

― Emma, Monday, 13 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Paul Scholes, only a good 3 stone heavier, with as much beige as can be thrown onto one torso without forcing Kays catalogue to change the description to 'Paul'. Good shoes, though.

― Paul, Monday, 13 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Suzy - what is 'Farmer Patti Smith'?

Today's look is Off Duty Policewoman, maybe. Simple, average Joe and somewhat intimidating.

― Kerry, Monday, 13 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Farmer Patti Smith: sleeveless 'muscle' shirt as part of all-black tomboyish ensemble, cotton head scarf, hangover.

― suzy, Monday, 13 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I've never seen anyone dress like that! Where should I go to watch funny fashion victims? Gayists/gaysians/gaybos on Old Compton St don't count. Neither do club kids. I shall go dressed in my frump attire and peek over a copy of Sleazenation.

― Sarah, Monday, 13 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I did a CoLouRFuL version of that look at the picnic (changed clothes when I decided there was no way I could sit down on roof wearing nice '80s leather skirt). Places to hang while doing that look include Spitalfields Market on a Sunday, and the ICA. As I keep saying, if you are Civil Servanting in Whitehall the ICA is a sensible option, get a membership to have somewhere cool to eat lunch.

― suzy, Monday, 13 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

A pyschopathic jesuit who consdirs a move to Hasidism.

― anthony, Monday, 13 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Today's look is I-washed-my-hair-with-Palmolive-to-try-to-get-out-too- dark-hair-dye-and-it-now-looks-so-awful-that-I-refuse-to-go-to-work- without-rewashing-it-with-proper-shampoo-and-conditioner. This is not really a "look" insomuch as it is a ghastly mistake that I won't repeat. Ever. Again. In my life.

Generally I'd say my look goes back and forth between ratted surfer girl (when casual and don't care; doesn't work as well without the blonde hair, which I no longer sport as of this morning) and Elvira, mistress of the night. I've also been somewhat disturbingly wearing my old clothing that I stopped wearing a while back because I was dating someone who wasn't fond of them. They all look like my boyfriend's clothes. IT'S TOO CUTE DAMNIT.

― Ally, Monday, 13 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Suzy yes! Both lovely places. My ICA membership seems to have expired. I have been tagging along on my friends when I feel the need for a civilised environment and Art Fools. And cute barmen. Coo. How much is membership when yer not a stewdent again? I would pop along tonight, despite having left money behind and having eaten NOWT today. How annoying!!

I would have thought the Sanderson would be home to better dressed people than it actually WAS. They all minged.

― Sarah, Monday, 13 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Expression to my poor self image? When I look in mirror, I scream. Is that enough? A relative once presented me with a picture of a 40 year old german soap actress proclaiming I looked exactly like her. Sadly, I do.

― nathalie (nathalie), Monday, 13 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"Oh, I didn't see you there"

― LL JEL, Monday, 13 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Physical: "Anna Nicole Smith's cousin...her rather plain cousin."

― j-lu (a k a The Threadkiller), Monday, 13 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I think it costs £25, but you can use it to get bookshop discount, they invite you to the openings [albeit the 'pleb' ones for the membership ;-)] and you can DRINK somewhere until 1am every night. AAAAnd you get to see the Mike Nelson show quite soon, hooray.

Don't all collectively kill me, but I have a free membership 'cos sometimes I do events for them.

― suzy, Monday, 13 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I have been identified thusly (slightly repeating answers elsewhere):

"Are you trying to look like John Lennon?"

"Are you trying to look like Howard Stern?"

"Are you a Phish fan?"

FUCK YOU ALL.

― Ned Raggett, Monday, 13 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Annoying student pathetically attemting to look less than completely dull with slightly larger than norm sideburns and ubiquitous band t- shirt.

― Ally C, Monday, 13 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

the ubiquitous book provides the excuse for the lack of individual style. more forgettable than anything else.

― Lyra, Monday, 13 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

A young Albert Finney.

Except not really young.

― Michael Jones, Monday, 13 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The fourth Amigo.

― tha chzza, Monday, 13 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Colleen Dewhurst in Warped Tour drag. With walking pneumonia. Soooooo hot.

― Arthur, Monday, 13 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I have a sneaky suspicion that I look like a chipmunk, although I am not sure b/c I have never actually seen a chipmunk. I am blonde, I am smallish, I have squinty eyes b/c i forgot to wear my glasses and I keep on eating raw vegetables. And I am darting around in what I believe to be a chipmunkish fashion. Does that sound like a chipmunk?

― rainy, Monday, 13 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Ned: Better than than "Johnny Depp in Benny & Joon".

― Ally, Monday, 13 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

My mother is probably a rabbit turned into a human as a gift from a wood spirit to her mother.

― Lyra, Monday, 13 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Which ubiquitous band?

― the pinefox, Tuesday, 14 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Today I am doing the 'Secretary out of Dear Deirdre's Photo Casebook who perches on her boss's desk confirming his marital crisis' look.

― Emma, Tuesday, 14 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Former Baader-Meinhof hanger-on snapped by paparazzi in prison exercise yard. He doesn't look so scary without those dark glasses, does he? And they may not be letting him near razors but he's certainly not on a hunger strike ho ho.

― Tom, Tuesday, 14 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Today i am pulling the is he a pedophile kiddie tv host meets southern lawyeer circa inherit the wind look

― anthony, Tuesday, 21 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Today I am reduced to wearing a band T-shirt. Joy Division if you must know.

― DG, Tuesday, 21 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The fat one in Tortoise.

― Andrew L, Tuesday, 21 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

A fat man who works in a 'dress-down' environment.

Funny, that.

― Tim, Tuesday, 21 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I am wearing my pimp shirt today having stupidly said I would in another thread. It doesn't make me look like a pimp though.

― Tom, Tuesday, 21 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

one year passes...

You would be a fucking scary pimp.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 24 July 2003 12:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Today I look like Peg Bundy's dumpy younger sister.

― Larcole (Nicole), Thursday, 24 July 2003 12:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Chess club dork all grown up.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 24 July 2003 12:47 (twenty-two years ago)

pro-golfer's fuckup son.

― g--ff c-nn-n (gcannon), Thursday, 24 July 2003 13:12 (twenty-two years ago)

damaged goods hiding in prada sweater

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 24 July 2003 13:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Aaaaaaaaaw...that's actually really sweet and poetic, Ally!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 24 July 2003 13:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Great, I can become the new Morrissey.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 24 July 2003 13:40 (twenty-two years ago)

the guy who desperately hopes he's the 'cool teacher' in a junior high school but knows that the new dude is much cooler

― Neudonym, Thursday, 24 July 2003 13:43 (twenty-two years ago)

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