Britain's next Prime Minister

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headinhands.gif but one of these options has to be right.

Poll Results

OptionVotes
Ed Miliband 12
Ed Balls 6
Boris Johnson 5
David Miliband 3
Someone we haven't heard of yet 2
Michael Gove 2
Theresa May 2
Some other dead-eyed Labour hack I've forgotten 0
Some other Tory cabinet minister I've left off 0
Andy Burnham 0
Phil Hammond 0
Yvette Cooper 0
Jeremy Hunt 0
Chuka Umunna 0
Nigel Farage 0
Adam Afriyie 0
George Osborne 0
William Hague 0
Vince Cable 0
Nick Clegg (lol) 0
James Purnell 0


Matt DC, Tuesday, 26 March 2013 15:42 (twelve years ago)

It occurred to me this morning that this is the first time in my adult life when I genuinely have no idea who will be running the country in three years' time.

(Answer = probably Cameron but you never know)

Matt DC, Tuesday, 26 March 2013 15:46 (twelve years ago)

Hologram Thatcher ftw

acid in the style of tenpole tudor (NickB), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 15:47 (twelve years ago)

Adam Afriyie

LOL x1000

Step not on a loose unforgiving stone on a pyramid to paradise (Tom D.), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 15:49 (twelve years ago)

Angela Merkel ftw

Step not on a loose unforgiving stone on a pyramid to paradise (Tom D.), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 15:50 (twelve years ago)

Natalie Bennett! Oh wait

delete (imago), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 15:52 (twelve years ago)

I sort of wish Diane Abbott were on that list but there is no way in hell. Might have an outside shot at London mayor, though

TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 15:53 (twelve years ago)

voting Michael Gove btw

delete (imago), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 15:56 (twelve years ago)

(xp) Saints preserve us

Step not on a loose unforgiving stone on a pyramid to paradise (Tom D.), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 15:57 (twelve years ago)

Most mayors are buffoons, but it'd be nice to have one who's on the right side of things for a change

TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 16:10 (twelve years ago)

johnson

mister borges (darraghmac), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 16:26 (twelve years ago)

Won't be in Parliament in time.

Matt DC, Tuesday, 26 March 2013 16:28 (twelve years ago)

i didn;t say it would be under a democracy tbf

mister borges (darraghmac), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 16:29 (twelve years ago)

who needs hologram thatcher when the real one is ostensibly still around.

a similar stunt failed to work with a cow (Merdeyeux), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 16:37 (twelve years ago)

my real guess is ed miliband, heroically triumphing by a minute margin on account of being slightly less nothingy than the tories are evil.

a similar stunt failed to work with a cow (Merdeyeux), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 16:41 (twelve years ago)

Ed Miliband is by all measures the most likely person here to actually be the next Prime Minister but it just seems far fetched to the point of being impossible. Even his brother feels more likely.

Matt DC, Tuesday, 26 March 2013 16:44 (twelve years ago)

are we voting for who's the least worst or the most likely?

pssstttt, Hey you (dog latin), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 16:56 (twelve years ago)

do you mean PM after the next election or next PM after Cameron?

I predict/(most fear) a CON general election win and then Boris as successor

flamenco drop (lex pretend), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 16:57 (twelve years ago)

So Boris can't be next PM?

pssstttt, Hey you (dog latin), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 16:59 (twelve years ago)

Because if so then WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

pssstttt, Hey you (dog latin), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 16:59 (twelve years ago)

I mean next PM after Cameron (if it were after the next election then Cameron would have been included in the poll).

Obviously we're not voting for best, where would be the fun in that?

Matt DC, Tuesday, 26 March 2013 17:25 (twelve years ago)

not only otm but a fair description of the actual system

mister borges (darraghmac), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 17:27 (twelve years ago)

ed balls is such a funny name, gotta go with that guy

turds (Hungry4Ass), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 17:28 (twelve years ago)

Funny name, unfunny guy

Step not on a loose unforgiving stone on a pyramid to paradise (Tom D.), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 18:04 (twelve years ago)

Ed Miliband is by all measures the most likely person here to actually be the next Prime Minister but it just seems far fetched to the point of being impossible. Even his brother feels more likely.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-21947497

but still...

a similar stunt failed to work with a cow (Merdeyeux), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 21:11 (twelve years ago)

Phil Hammond is the only name on this list who is a complete mystery to me.

Grandpont Genie, Tuesday, 26 March 2013 23:31 (twelve years ago)

Well not David Miliband then.

Keith, Tuesday, 26 March 2013 23:34 (twelve years ago)

Obviously we're not voting for best, where would be the fun in that?

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/511uCvXgTqL._SL500_AA300_.jpg

ogmor, Tuesday, 26 March 2013 23:42 (twelve years ago)

Ed Mili if i had to put a cash bet on tonight.

we're fucked.

Kontuszówka reverie (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 27 March 2013 01:51 (twelve years ago)

It's Hillary's turn!
(I really think Gove's gonna get this.)

Theodora Celery, Wednesday, 27 March 2013 02:19 (twelve years ago)

And by "get" I mean kill as many people as it takes.

Theodora Celery, Wednesday, 27 March 2013 02:21 (twelve years ago)

Gove is kind of hated by his own party and prone to gaffes that people overlook because a) the media is full of his mates and b) the divide-and-rule shit he's doing with the education system is popular with enough voters. In the event of the Tories committing regicide they'd surely go with May or Hague over Gove (or Boris if he's around in time).

Pretty sure D-Mili can do more good running the International Rescue Committee than running the Labour Party in any case.

Matt DC, Wednesday, 27 March 2013 10:07 (twelve years ago)

Well you've put the hoodoo on D-Mil with this poll, Matt, fingers crossed we lose some more

Step not on a loose unforgiving stone on a pyramid to paradise (Tom D.), Wednesday, 27 March 2013 10:35 (twelve years ago)

Ed-Mili. The Tories are deluded if they think their biggest problem is Cameron. Ousting him will change nothing.

Deafening silence (DL), Wednesday, 27 March 2013 11:14 (twelve years ago)

the "Labour" party is deluded if they think their biggest problem is EMil

Kontuszówka reverie (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 27 March 2013 11:20 (twelve years ago)

We are all deluded if we think our biggest problem is who the next PM will be.

Another turning point, a stork fuck in the road (ledge), Wednesday, 27 March 2013 11:23 (twelve years ago)

Ye are all deluded

mister borges (darraghmac), Wednesday, 27 March 2013 11:27 (twelve years ago)

Heard someone the other day say this would be a good election to lose because of the neverending economic shitstorm and the pile of painful long-term decisions waiting around the corner.

Deafening silence (DL), Wednesday, 27 March 2013 11:34 (twelve years ago)

that's what people said about the last election right?

flamenco drop (lex pretend), Wednesday, 27 March 2013 11:34 (twelve years ago)

Was gonna say

mister borges (darraghmac), Wednesday, 27 March 2013 11:35 (twelve years ago)

"painful decisions" = "gosh we really don't enjoy being reactionary Neoliberal scum but what the hey"

Kontuszówka reverie (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 27 March 2013 11:36 (twelve years ago)

It'd be grand if it was brown doing it?

mister borges (darraghmac), Wednesday, 27 March 2013 11:37 (twelve years ago)

dude when have i ever stanned for any of them?

Kontuszówka reverie (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 27 March 2013 11:39 (twelve years ago)

it's true you're the best of a bad lot

mister borges (darraghmac), Wednesday, 27 March 2013 11:42 (twelve years ago)

xp Was true then and will be true again. We live in globally crappy times, what can I say?

Deafening silence (DL), Wednesday, 27 March 2013 11:46 (twelve years ago)

No arguing that tbf!

mister borges (darraghmac), Wednesday, 27 March 2013 11:47 (twelve years ago)

Ed Miliband 2015, Boris Johnson 2020, Ant & Dec 2025.

Habemus opiniones pro vobis (onimo), Wednesday, 27 March 2013 11:50 (twelve years ago)

Well not David Miliband then.

― Keith, Tuesday, 26 March 2013 23:34 (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Yes, David Miliband is Goodnight Vienna.

Mark G, Wednesday, 27 March 2013 11:59 (twelve years ago)

has anyone made a D-Mili Thunderbirds gag yet? If not please feel free to do so at your leisure.

Neil S, Wednesday, 27 March 2013 12:06 (twelve years ago)

Isn't Chuka Umunna like 12?

tsrobodo, Wednesday, 27 March 2013 12:08 (twelve years ago)

Well yes, the Andrew Marr Show should be come the Eddie Mair Show permanently

Step not on a loose unforgiving stone on a pyramid to paradise (Tom D.), Thursday, 28 March 2013 13:51 (twelve years ago)

most people don't care what Boris told Darius Guppy

my gf was listening to the actual phonecall the other evening, it made my blood run cold. the aristocracy are some vile and unpleasant fuckers.

The @glennbeck have raisin b-lls and rice crispy d-ck (stevie), Thursday, 28 March 2013 13:52 (twelve years ago)

Boris is no aristocrat though

Step not on a loose unforgiving stone on a pyramid to paradise (Tom D.), Thursday, 28 March 2013 13:53 (twelve years ago)

Guppy is/was though.

The @glennbeck have raisin b-lls and rice crispy d-ck (stevie), Thursday, 28 March 2013 13:53 (twelve years ago)

Did you see Guppy's "defence" of Boris in the Spectator? Even Boris was probably shying away from that one.

http://blogs.spectator.co.uk/coffeehouse/2013/03/who-points-the-finger/

Matt DC, Thursday, 28 March 2013 13:53 (twelve years ago)

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Never change, Spectator...

The @glennbeck have raisin b-lls and rice crispy d-ck (stevie), Thursday, 28 March 2013 13:57 (twelve years ago)

What’s happening? Snow was ‘disappearing from our lives’ in 2000

Yeah, it's about time Jon called it a day

Step not on a loose unforgiving stone on a pyramid to paradise (Tom D.), Thursday, 28 March 2013 13:58 (twelve years ago)

I don't know about the British public but it will lessen the enthusiasm of some of the people that were giving Boris the momentum he had within the party/Tory press etc. They'll be re-calculating whether backing him is too risky given the scrutiny he'd get as leader/prospective PM.

Boris's good fortune was Ken Livingstone. Ken had over time alienated so much of the London public that he couldn't win but not enough of to enable Labour to dump him. Beating him gave Boris the aura of a "winner" who could "beat Labour in it's own backyard". In reality he only beat another maverick chancer the public had had more time to see though. It's thin evidence that he could win a serious political contest.

frankiemachine, Thursday, 28 March 2013 13:59 (twelve years ago)

As we all know, Mr Johnson never provided me with any address. It is perfectly clear from the tape recording in question that he was simply placating a friend whom he considered to be letting off steam. But while this may rightly exonerate the Mayor of London, my own line has always been somewhat different – and consistent: my only regret being that I was never able to finish the job.

hahahahahahahahaha...

The @glennbeck have raisin b-lls and rice crispy d-ck (stevie), Thursday, 28 March 2013 13:59 (twelve years ago)

The important thing is that he behaves with the entitlement of an aristo, clutching at single girls while enjoying the benefits of marriage to a woman with a powerful dad. Being in a dynastic marriage while having a bit on the side is the very definition of a certain kind of privilege.

Back in the Spectator days, Boris used to play lots of table football in the bike couriers' pub.

karl lagerlout (suzy), Thursday, 28 March 2013 14:03 (twelve years ago)

Boris's good fortune was Ken Livingstone. Ken had over time alienated so much of the London public that he couldn't win but not enough of to enable Labour to dump him. Beating him gave Boris the aura of a "winner" who could "beat Labour in it's own backyard". In reality he only beat another maverick chancer the public had had more time to see though.

I don't think this is true, nearly half the electorate voted for Ken last time as well. Boris would have beaten Oona King or some other rank and file Labour type by a bigger margin, if anything. Ken alienated a lot of people, yes, but I think there's ample evidence that enough Londoners *want* maverick chancers in the Mayor's office. But maybe not as Prime Minister.

Matt DC, Thursday, 28 March 2013 14:05 (twelve years ago)

Ken alienated West Londoners who moaned about having to pay congestion charge, ie the people most of the rest of London wanted first up against the wall come the revolution.

karl lagerlout (suzy), Thursday, 28 March 2013 14:13 (twelve years ago)

The reasons for his defeat go beyond alienating a small sub-section of people who were going to vote Tory anyway.

Actually what probably did for him worst was alienating the Evening Standard who then went to war with him, but that was an act of such stupidity on his part that it would do for any politician.

Matt DC, Thursday, 28 March 2013 14:16 (twelve years ago)

I know he's not popular on ILX but I liked London a lot more under Ken. His speech after 7/7 was exactly right.

The @glennbeck have raisin b-lls and rice crispy d-ck (stevie), Thursday, 28 March 2013 14:18 (twelve years ago)

xpost and even then, what was the margin of defeat/victory?

Mark G, Thursday, 28 March 2013 14:25 (twelve years ago)

I mean I still think it's a case of Boris having won it rather than Ken having lost it, it's harder to think of many other Tories who would have won in London.

Matt DC, Thursday, 28 March 2013 14:27 (twelve years ago)

Evening Standard was edited by a close friend of Boris'. Before that, Ken was doing their restaurant reviews and his LTP worked there.

Besides, if my choice is between a lefty philanderer and a right-wing philanderer...

karl lagerlout (suzy), Thursday, 28 March 2013 14:29 (twelve years ago)

it's harder to think of many other Tories who would have won in London.

even harder to think of any labour candidates who could've beaten boris

nashwan, Thursday, 28 March 2013 14:30 (twelve years ago)

Well as someone who'd normally vote Labour in a Labour/Tory contest but wouldn't have considered voting for Livingstone under any circumstances I may be over-generalising from my own experience. But I knew enough people who think the same way to believe otherwise. And no matter how small a minority we were we were certainly not a minority who were going to vote Tory anyway.

frankiemachine, Thursday, 28 March 2013 14:35 (twelve years ago)

Yeah but I'm assuming the reason he alienated you was nothing to do with the congestion charge in Kensington & Chelsea, right?

Matt DC, Thursday, 28 March 2013 14:40 (twelve years ago)

Yeah, the line that's going to stick from the interview isn't any of the specific allegations as much as "You're a nasty piece of work, aren't you?" plus Boris's characteristic "Oh it's all in a day's work" attitude when asked about it.

They won't pick him because they will calculate that he's too weird-looking/vulcan/hard line to win over an electorate that's still very suspicious of the Tories.

They elected Iain Duncan Smith and Michael Howard though, I wouldn't put anything past them.

I suppose there's a conflict between those who think that now the party is in power, it's because the country Understands Stark Reality and is now ready for more Norman Tebbit-in-a-gimp-mask policies, and those who are aware of what was keeping them out of power all those years.

Neither of which explains why people are still talking about William Hague!

Andrew Farrell, Thursday, 28 March 2013 14:40 (twelve years ago)

I have a suspicion Hague's not as villainous as most of them. He still makes me spit blood when I hear him on Radio 4, but I think that's mostly because he has such a bizarre cadence and accent.

The @glennbeck have raisin b-lls and rice crispy d-ck (stevie), Thursday, 28 March 2013 14:42 (twelve years ago)

No it was my perception that he had the moral integrity of a weasel. Like Boris.

frankiemachine, Thursday, 28 March 2013 14:44 (twelve years ago)

Hague is Thatcherite through and through but... hasn't been a disaster as foreign secretary? It's difficult to tell because he hasn't seemed to do much other than shaking his fist as Gadaffi and Assad, most of the real foreign policy clangers have been Cameron's.

Matt DC, Thursday, 28 March 2013 14:44 (twelve years ago)

If anything, Mair's "nasty piece of work" bit - which was entirely unnecessary; BJ was doing an adequate enough job of hanging himself - has probably pushed a lot of sympathy back BJ's way.

Here he is with the classic "Poème Électronique." Good track (Marcello Carlin), Thursday, 28 March 2013 14:45 (twelve years ago)

Not sure it would've gone viral without the "nasty piece of work" money line though.

Matt DC, Thursday, 28 March 2013 14:46 (twelve years ago)

If only there was some way of determining how people felt about Boris vs Ken in 2012...

Andrew Farrell, Thursday, 28 March 2013 14:49 (twelve years ago)

That's the problem. British people don't want any truth, just a handy tag line and a good story. Londoners go "YAY MAIR" and then pick up the Evening Standard the following day.

Here he is with the classic "Poème Électronique." Good track (Marcello Carlin), Thursday, 28 March 2013 14:50 (twelve years ago)

It'll probably be Cameron again in 2015. Hopefully I'll be out of this country by then.

Here he is with the classic "Poème Électronique." Good track (Marcello Carlin), Thursday, 28 March 2013 14:54 (twelve years ago)

Hague is Thatcherite through and through but... hasn't been a disaster as foreign secretary?

Yeah, that was my take on him as well.

has probably pushed a lot of sympathy back BJ's way.

Kind of think anyone whose sympathy was pushed back BJ's way by "You're a nasty piece of work" was prob gonna vote Tory anyway?

The @glennbeck have raisin b-lls and rice crispy d-ck (stevie), Thursday, 28 March 2013 14:54 (twelve years ago)

They might have been considering voting Ukip.

Here he is with the classic "Poème Électronique." Good track (Marcello Carlin), Thursday, 28 March 2013 14:55 (twelve years ago)

you say potato i say tomato

The @glennbeck have raisin b-lls and rice crispy d-ck (stevie), Thursday, 28 March 2013 15:04 (twelve years ago)

London is full of people who say they're moving to Australia because this country is finished and you can't start a business here with the red tape & the health and safety & the minimum wage & the EU regulations & it's gorn to the dogs (but you're running a tanning salon!) so provided they haven't all buggered off by then, the Tories will get back in next time, probably nicking enough of Ukip's ideas to keep themselves electable, as Thatcher did with the '79 equivalent.

Here he is with the classic "Poème Électronique." Good track (Marcello Carlin), Thursday, 28 March 2013 15:09 (twelve years ago)

So, which country were you thinking of in 2015 then?

Mark G, Thursday, 28 March 2013 15:17 (twelve years ago)

First port of call would be France, I think. They're currently looking for people to go over there and work. Decent socialist government, none of the back to the workhouse shit we're getting here, better culture, probably more affordable housing...definitely going to look into it.

Here he is with the classic "Poème Électronique." Good track (Marcello Carlin), Thursday, 28 March 2013 15:23 (twelve years ago)

"I'm leaving the country, the taxes aren't high enough"

Step not on a loose unforgiving stone on a pyramid to paradise (Tom D.), Thursday, 28 March 2013 15:37 (twelve years ago)

hahah, do I look like Stephen Fry (actually don't answer that)?

Here he is with the classic "Poème Électronique." Good track (Marcello Carlin), Thursday, 28 March 2013 15:41 (twelve years ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

System, Monday, 1 April 2013 00:01 (twelve years ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

System, Tuesday, 2 April 2013 00:01 (twelve years ago)

Balls wuz robbed

the pheromones of hot clothing (DJP), Tuesday, 2 April 2013 00:05 (twelve years ago)

"Someone we haven't heard of yet" is presumably the scenario where the Tories win resoundingly in 2015 and someone steps through the wreckage of the Labour Party to pick up the "oh god anyone but Cameron" vote?

Andrew Farrell, Tuesday, 2 April 2013 00:09 (twelve years ago)

Hologram Thatcher ftw

― acid in the style of tenpole tudor (NickB), Tuesday, March 26, 2013 3:47 PM (2 weeks ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

as a sock, son, you flop (NickB), Thursday, 11 April 2013 14:35 (twelve years ago)

James Purnell was a joke, right?

I turned away to leave these few in thought and contemplation (Bananaman Begins), Thursday, 11 April 2013 14:57 (twelve years ago)

I mean his inclusion in this poll, altho otoh...

I turned away to leave these few in thought and contemplation (Bananaman Begins), Thursday, 11 April 2013 14:57 (twelve years ago)

Notably absent: Danny "Beaker" Alexander

Andrew Farrell, Thursday, 11 April 2013 15:01 (twelve years ago)

I got to the wall for Balls

relentless technosexuality (DJP), Thursday, 11 April 2013 15:03 (twelve years ago)

cameron will probably be elected again eating babies on stage once the tv debates with e-mili are over. it's one thing riding high in the opinion polls when you're in the corner of people's eyes as opposition and another winning a vote with the reality of your studenty self in full view

r|t|c, Thursday, 11 April 2013 15:08 (twelve years ago)

Don't understand what the eating babies adds to that post.

I turned away to leave these few in thought and contemplation (Bananaman Begins), Thursday, 11 April 2013 15:14 (twelve years ago)

just to exaggerate that he could get elected afterwards even despite any unspeakable evil

soz if u had a baby that got eaten though

r|t|c, Thursday, 11 April 2013 15:20 (twelve years ago)

It's cool bro just takin each day as it comes

I turned away to leave these few in thought and contemplation (Bananaman Begins), Thursday, 11 April 2013 15:21 (twelve years ago)


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