So when did you first hear a serious discussion/learn about same-sex marriage?

Posted my thoughts just now on Tumblr, but to quote it:

I don’t recall the exact date or specifics of the conversation. But I remember it would have been 1991 or 1992, late one night in my senior year at UCLA, and my then roommate Steve G. and I were talking. And I’m pretty sure he was the first person I ever heard talking about gay marriage in specifically legal terms, and how it should be a reality. I’m not sure how I reacted, but given that I was friends with or living with a number of gay and lesbian classmates at UCLA then while I might have been a little surprised at the idea I hope I wasn’t too startled, and pretty much was on board in my own way, though the hard work has always been done by others before and since. If this is the tipping point, it’s none too soon — but I’m glad to see it.

Interesting question.

Probably whenever it became a major national subject (within the last decade maybe). For whatever reason, I don't have many gay/lesbian/etc friends.

I have zero recollection of the first conversation I had about gay marriage.

1993? The first mention might have been a serious discussion or it could have been 'lol gays want teh marriages' with a serious discussion quickly following.

Yet to hear one

Whenever it was, it made zero impact on me because when the concept first came up, the first parallels I made were to interracial marriage and I thought "well duh, of course gay people should be allowed to get married, especially given the various tax incentives given out by our government to encourage people to marry" and then moved on.

A similar thing happened when gay couples adopting kids came up; this all just seems like such baseline "none of my business what you do" stuff to me.

I remember in high school writing a book report on dan savage's memoir about adopting... that's probably my earliest memory

I grew up on Fire Island and in Key West. I can't remember gay people ever being something that wasn't just totally normal to me but I don't actually recall the first time I talked about gay marriage.

I remember the complaints of otherwise 'married couples' in the eighties bemoaning tax status, inheritance, ability to visit spouse in hopsital, etc..., much of it sadly AIDS related.

only after reading Virtually Normal in 2001, two years after coming out. The idea was so fanciful that I dismissed it.

Probably mid-90s. Ned, do you remember ML Compton?

Hahaha not only do I remember, I last saw him and Skip in October.

Pretty sure I read Virtually Normal upon release, I remember it coming in at the UCI student newspaper.

had to be back in early 90s/lol college but I don't remember specifically

awesome, he's a great guy. Are you on his Facebook? Look at his (or Skip's) post today.

(xp)

I'm basically opposed to heterosexual marriage, so whenever I encountered cohabiting gay couples (or the reported or fictional representation thereof) as a kid I thought they were getting off lucky, the way I admired unmarried but partnered straight adults. I guess by my mid-teens I'd read of issues with hospital visitation, but having seen this not be a problem in Sydney, it was obvious that marriage wasn't the real obstacle there.

a friend from high school told me that I was the first person he met who vocally supported of gay marriage, back in 1991. i haven't the faintest recollection of that tbh. but I *was* pretty loud so it's at least partly true

on the nonserious front, in '77 or 78 we saw a film in social studies that began with two men marrying in a ceremony; many "ewwww gross" sounds made.

Whenever it was that the Vermont legislature started debating their 'civil union' bill - maybe 1999 or 2000? It immediately struck me as a viable path to gain LG couples further civil rights, so I argued for it as passionately as I could.

I'm basically opposed to heterosexual marriage

Don't worry. Nobody here is going to pressure you into a marriage you clearly don't want. Why other people getting married to one another concerns you I'm not exactly sure.

baehr vs lewin, hawaii 1993 was the first time i'd even heard of it or considered it as a concept and at the time it seemed way ahead of the curve and far fetched, it hadn't been that long ago prior that whether aids was god's wrath on homosexuals was 'reasonably' debated in polite society. out of the closet gays couldn't serve in the military, in much of the country couldn't teach. when clinton signed doma in 96 it was despicable but understandable and at the time i thought effectively harmless - gay marriage was surely so far off in the future that a symbolic campaign stunt however wicked didn't seem like it would actually matter like real legislation. by 2004 it didn't seem that far off in the future but the margins anti-gay marriage measures passed by still made it seem like it would take longer than you think. i can remember talking to a guy and agreeing that at some point gay marriage would come via the court once some tipping point w/ the states had come. last year felt like the tipping point might be here. not sure if the court is gonna go that sweeping (and i really hope they do cuz it still might be quite a while in the south), but i can't imagine there are that many ppl left on either side of the issue that can't see the writing on the wall.

Whenever it was that the Vermont legislature started debating their 'civil union' bill - maybe 1999 or 2000? It immediately struck me as a viable path to gain LG couples further civil rights, so I argued for it as passionately as I could.

― Aimless, Tuesday, March 26, 2013 9:56 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

same here -- i remember that it was during my first year of law school, and that we discussed it in my 1L Constitutional Law class that year (as well as informally w/ fellow classmates). if i also remember, my gay acquaintances in law school were more concerned back then w/ overturning the Solomon Amendment (which mandated that law schools allow the US military to recruit despite the conflict b/w the schools' anti-discrimination policies and "don't ask/don't tell") than w/ gay marriage.

Why other people getting married to one another concerns you I'm not exactly sure.

ha ha this is the entire premise of the thread!

I don't remember when I first heard a discussion about it. I do know that in college (late '90s), and maybe even shortly after, I thought that civil unions were a good compromise. Only later did I recognize that as short-sighted.

i think i first heard of it in the mid-2000s. i was raised mormon. i never really thought about it. why would you want to?

this is a weird thread.

I imagine it would have been around the time of the Defense of Marriage Act, in my last years in high school. It went from being a thing I had no idea about to a thing that a lot of people being very angry about in a short time span. A Southern Baptist guy I had known since elementary school who had always been very sweet-natured started to get very strident, and this topic was one of the things that came up when he would get in clashes with me and my friends. It made me sad. I had another friend at the time who lived with his gay mom and her girlfriend, but I don't remember us talking about it at all.

Cant remember prob just now