Aquatic Ape theory

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aquatic_ape_hypothesis

wil this ever be put to rest

It will be laid to rest with all the necessary pomp and honors, in a golden casket, inside the hollow center of the earth where the Lemurians live and play.

believe in only the theories with the best names. believe...in the aquatic ape but hold out hope for the aquarian ape

Aquatic Ape Theory sounds like a nerdy prog-hardcore band.

http://comicbookmovie.com/images/users/uploads/27306/aqua_ape_040911.jpg

http://www.lghmarketstrategy.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/sea-monkeys.jpg

http://freethoughtblogs.com/pharyngula/2013/04/28/oh-no-not-the-aquatic-ape-hypothesis-again/

some theories shd be thought of as beautiful metaphors that shd be encouraged to live and breathe (water)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Proboscis_monkey

http://survive2012.com/index.php/aquatic-ape.html

If we are aquatic apes then I want to go swimming more often!

“An aquatic environment seems to have had a broadly similar effect on some other species - that is, relative retraction of the female sex organ leading to a corresponding extension of that of the males. For example, most birds and reptiles do not possess a penis; the pressing together of the cloacal apertures seems to suffice for the transference of the sperm. But many species of aquatic reptiles (crocodiles and turtles) and aquatic birds (swans, ducks, geese) have found it necessary to evolve a penis as part of their adaption to a watery habitat.”

"i remember when cock was young..
crocodile cock in the cloaca now - when you're feet just cant keep still..."

elton john

i) Our face to face mating positions are more consistent with those of aquatic mammals as is our (blush) penis size. Aquatic mammals also have hymens and do not display signs of estrus.

if we are descendents of aquatic apes, then why can't my grandpa swim?

he is too flammable

that is the correct answer - he was cremated in 2008

his soul will swim in the universe

truly the ape of aquarius

http://www.medicalmarijuanastrains.com/grape-ape-2/

This is one of my favorite batshit theories, along with the "prehistoric squid re-arranging plesiosaur vertebrae to create a self portrait" theory

i like the theory put forward in prometheus. i forget what it was exactly -- something about a race of extra-terrestrial titans dissolving their genetic material into rivers -- but that's what i believe.

"prehistoric squid re-arranging plesiosaur vertebrae to create a self portrait" theory

!!

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_z49KWF8nWCI/Ssa3Meds4FI/AAAAAAAAAEw/quOEjxhH87Q/s320/Emily+Litella.jpg

"Now what's all this I hear about an aquatic cape theory? Why on earth would you wear a cape in the water? It would just drag you down! You'd get all wrapped up in it and wouldn't be able to move your arms and legs! Don't we have enough dangers in the ocean without people putting on capes?"

The serious response, btw.

Also, persistence hunting seems a more compelling selector for bipedalism and hairlessness.

For a better supported feminist evolutionary hypothesis, may I suggest grandmothering.

I enjoy the outrage this theory causes to anthropologists. THey hates it!

It just makes me want to propose it to aggravate them

it make s perfect snese to me and I belive it 1200%

we belong to the ocean

We had a big discussion about AAT in one of my paleoanthropology classes and the tone from the professor was much more bemused than outraged. I think most of those guys are secretly proud their field has its own weirdo fringe theory. Also , they never ever fail to mention that if bigfoot actually exists it is most likely Oreopithicus. Like, I went to three different universities and every paleoanth prof. I had at some point brought up the Oreopithicus-Bigfoot connection.

Latham Green commenting about this theory on random Facebook pages amused me greatly

they never ever fail to mention that if bigfoot actually exists it is most likely Oreopithicus

Not to be confused with its slightly larger cousin, Doublestufopithicus

lolz paleo

There's this pseudodocumentary special on Animal Planet right now called "Mermaids: the New Evidence" and the Zach Galifianakis looking "marine biologist" cited the Aquatic Ape theory lolz

There is a reputable theory among paleoanthopologists studying 3myo-2myo dietary habits vaguely reminiscent of aquatic ape. If Australopithecus africanus and Paranthropus boisei retreated to river banks and wetlands to wade in feed on bulbs and corms of sedges (papyrus & cattails) during dry seasons, it would be consistent with evidence from their dentition, dental microwear, C13 isotope levels, high Sr/Ca and low Ba/Ca dental enamel, and obviously would be a drive towards bipedalism. See:

Wrangham, Richard, et al. "Shallow‐water habitats as sources of fallback foods for hominins." American journal of physical anthropology 140.4 (2009): 630-642.

omg the mermaids documentary. such a weird thing for animal planet to create and air.

mermaids aren't real!?!?