nice people

people who are able to get along with everyone. people who remember details about other people's lives and ask about them. people who are able to stay in contact with friends from long ago. people who always seem to be in a good mood but not in an obnoxious way, in a genuine way. people who offer to help you with things with no expectation of recompense.

how are they so nice?

http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2008/02/25/prozac10c.jpg

A healthy diet and lots of sleep.

We're just lucky I guess.

in some circumstances, similar to training for a long distance race at a high altitude, it's possible that the nice person spent a lot of time with a very unreasonable/angry/unappreciative person with a significant other and/or their family. after years of bending over backward try and failing to make those people happy, perhaps it's a lot easier for them to be kind to normalish people who actually appreciate it.

people who remember details about other people's lives and ask about them. people who are able to stay in contact with friends from long ago.

I am great at all the other criteria, but TERRIBLE at these two, which I think are crucial.

it's also possible that the really nice person is just waiting until the last moment to pull back the curtain and really, REALLY fuck you over when you'd never expect it.

do nice people always have to do nice things for other people though? my favorite kind of nice person is the one who leaves everybody the hell alone. in a nice way.

Our neighbors keep baking us things and leaving them on our doorstep. I honestly can't imagine being a nice enough person to do that!

they're always referred to as "like, the nicest person in the world" because no one else is nice.

i think nice people are aware of and respect other people, in general
this means presents when you need them and space when you need it etc

awareness is key.

in my experience people who describe themselves as "the nicest person you will ever meet" are lying both to themselves and to you

well yeah

I'm nice. I used to get real frustrated when people weren't nice back. So I'd be even more nice. Elaborate birthday presents, my face becomes a rictus of niceness.

for me, it's all about taking a sincere interest in the other person's life

well sure but that's easier said than done

it's too bad this is googlable thread because I have a hilarious story I want to tell but it's not about me ;_;

xp - i think genuinely nice people know when to bacdafucup and stop asking questions and being "interested in the life of" someone who doesn't want to share anything else

it doesn't end with "develop an interest" -- relationships are not a one-way street

this is why i appreciate it when people leave me alone if i need to be left alone, like scott said

in my experience people who describe themselves as "the nicest person you will ever meet" are lying both to themselves and to you

no no, i describe them like that to other people.

xp - i think genuinely nice people know when to bacdafucup and stop asking questions and being "interested in the life of" someone who doesn't want to share anything else

― no fomo (La Lechera), Thursday, August 22, 2013 2:09 PM (10 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Part of being keenly aware of what's important to someone else (and being perceived a nice person) is being aware of cues people send when they don't really want to talk about something, or at least don't want to talk about it at that moment, or even that they don't want to share something with me which is their perrogative. And also not always needing those cues once I know someone well enough to know they don't like frequent smalltalk.

There are times I don't want to share something about me with someone else, and it doesn't mean I don't like that person, and in situations where s/he realizes I don't want to tell him or her something that they know I'd share with others, I'm careful to convey this. Often it's because I know something about someone else that they don't want me spreading around to people they don't know well.

I try to be one of those Nice People and it was a huge shock to me in the last few years when I realized I'm not succeeding. So my default shifted from being nice to being quiet.

being quiet can be part of being nice
your niceness has not been revoked