Things you hate about yourself

I wanted to start a thread on the subject of things that you hate about yourself. I searched but I couldn't find any other threads devoted to this topic, although the subject comes up a lot on other threads about various different matters.
I noticed that whenever I post to ilx I am tempted to drag the subject around to various things I hate about myself, and I thought that if I started a thread about this subject I could contain my posting about it to this thread, also it may be cathartic, also other people might want to post about things they hate about themselves.

Left foot

Everything?

haha fuuuuuck you for starting this thread at 1pm wins time, six beers in

I wasn't sure whether to post this to ILE or to another board, I was concerned that it might annoy people to keep seeing this thread popping up at the top of ILE every time a new post is added, but I looked at the other boards and I wasn't always 100% sure what the criteria for threads on those broads was so I thought it would be best to start the thread on ILE.
Is there a way to post to a thread without bumping it to the top of Site New Answers?

Proper lols

I guess I was thinking of just a list of things people dislike about themselves, like I wasn't looking for advice on how people can improve themselves or reassurance that you shouldn't feel bad about the things you post about in the thread.
Obv I don't want to like lecture people about what they should and shouldn't post in the thread, so if you have other/better ideas then just ignore me.
But I guess I was just thinking of a kind of safe space to wallow in self-loathing

haha fuuuuuck you for starting this thread at 1pm wins time, six beers in

I hate that I can't tell the difference between am and pm :\

Not after six beers

I thing the received wisdom about this subject is that eveyone is constantly aware of things they hate about them selves and tend to underestimate the extent to which all the other people around them also hate a million things about themselves? Is this true (in your experience?) Does everyone go through their daily routine hyper aware of the way they hate how they walk, lift a cup to their mouths, put their arm out to
indiacte they want a bus to stop, put change in their pockets after buying a newspaper, shake their hands after washing them in a sink etc?

Sorry im awesome at each of those things

Never been a fan of myself. Mostly I hate how cowardly I can be when it comes to standing up for myself. I'm sort of a pushover but I'm working on that.

I love everything. mostly.

Everything?

most of the stuff i hate about myself fall under the umbrella categories of "laziness" and "impatience"

most of the stuff i hate about myself fall under the umbrella categories of "laziness" and "impatience"

Thanks for saying that for me. Took you long enough though.

Selfishness. Empathy deficits. Tendency toward crankiness.

shitty memory

terrible time focusing

tendency to overdrink when alone/out of boredom

eat bad food

manage debt very poorly

I am a jerk with a jerk face

l-r: crut

http://www.incrediblethings.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/meat-heads-barack-obameat-meat-romney.jpg

I wasn't always 100% sure what the criteria for threads on those broads was

talk abt things i hate abt myself

this is a bad thread to post on guys

this is not going to help

I think it can be v. helpful to take a little accounting once in a while, to reflect on stuff you'd like to work on. No?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPkTGm4RtVM

Hating myself and having very low confidence are usually my problem.

I've just spent the last hour reading wikihow pages written by 13 yr olds about how to make friends and how to react when people insult you and I've realised that I'm no better at any of this stuff than I was when I was 13, except I'm 28 now and don't really have any excuse, and this isn't just some awkward phase that I'm going to grow out of, this is it, this is as good as it's going to get.

How to Ignore Insults

Steps
1. Don't react. Keep your expression completely neutral, and just shake your head.

Still have not developed this skill however much I would like to, whenever I'm in a confrontation with someone my face involuntarily goes into this stupid nervous smirk, have an image in my head of the fixed poker face I would like to be presenting, but no use.

I think I read something once by Richard Overy about Hitler, and how he was able to use his social awkwardness to his advantage, like his weirness and awkwardness was something that came naturally to him, but he was able to use the fact that he caused embarrassment to wrong foot other people and make them uncomfortable.
When we were studying the rise of the Nazis at school when I was a kid I think I had this idea that the way he looked and behaved etc was ridiculous, but that people took him seriously back then, but I don't think that was quite the case, people found him ridiculous then as well.
Like Overy has a description of Hitler and the SA turning up at some event with high up, respectable people and they come marching in with their uniforms and shouting slogans, and making twats of themselves basically, but everyone is really embarrassed and doesn't know where to look, and Hitler is able to turn their discomfort to his advantage.

I feel like I am sort of familiar with this phenomenon, that when you are horribly socially awkward everyone you speak to becomes equally socially awkward, because having a conversation or whatever is a collaborative thing, so by acting in the wrong way you short circuit the whole process, and the other person you are speaking to, who may normally be very socially adept, becomes as awkward as you.
I have never been able to turn this phenomenon to my advantage like Hitler, though.

Richard Overy's hair is v striking

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/d/d5/RICHARD_OVERY.jpg/220px-RICHARD_OVERY.jpg

I have never been able to turn this phenomenon to my advantage like Hitler, though.

perhaps just as well

https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-Zpeml-2Osqs/UMdrdyhiU4I/AAAAAAAACFU/1f4q4e-hBDk/s800/Richard-Overy.jpg

When we learning about Hitler at school I remember being unnerved at how may qualities I seemed to share with him, like socially awkward, interest in painting, staying up until the middle of the night watching films and getting up about midday, digestive issues etc.

http://i.imgur.com/mdl2tVH.jpgi want attention but i don't want attention buthttp://i.imgur.com/XqwA7up.jpg

i want attention but i don't want attention but

Wait, is that a thing you hate about yourself, or a comment on what has gone before or?

the former. but maybe it's something that a lot of people hate about themselves.

I want positive attention, I want attention in the form of people thinking I'm smart and cool and good looking but I don't want to risk negative attention.

I'm not smart or cool or good looking though, so I have to go about looking for attention in an awkward, defensive wretched way.

the way my emotions seem to randomly turn themselves off and on.

this is a bad thread to post on guys

this is not going to help

― your authentic guitar playing self (elmo argonaut), Friday, August 23, 2013 5:04 PM (2 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

This is possibly true, but I guess the idea of the thread was to have somewhere to post about your self hatred where you don't have to be 'helpful'. Like, the depression thread seems to be functioning very well but I was would be scared of posting on there because I would be worried about being shouted out for being too negative.

Or not 'shouted at' maybe, but chided, and have people trying to convince me that I shouldn't hate myself. I don't want to be bumming everyone out on the depression thread.

that i'm not better with money

that i'm scatterbrained

I don't want to be bumming everyone out on the depression thread.

http://www.filmsquish.com/guts/files/images/Dr.%20Strangelove.JPG

nv did that joke much better once today already

so this is an appropriate thread to hate having gone for it

When we learning about Hitler at school I remember being unnerved at how may qualities I seemed to share with him, like socially awkward, interest in painting, staying up until the middle of the night watching films and getting up about midday, digestive issues etc.

― learn their ways of thinking and add it into your own mind (Eight Model Play), Saturday, August 24, 2013 9:19 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i've always been disturbed about the fact that i was born exactly 100 years after hitler, to the day (april 20, 1989). i've looked into legally changing my birthday but apparently that's not a thing.

i think i'm pretty different than hitler otherwise though. i guess his love for animals is similar to me, but his taste in art (largely Romantic, committed to traditional understandings of beauty, strongly averse to aesthetics that strike him as "unhealthy" or reflective of mental instability) is radically opposed to mine. i like to think of myself as the anti-hitler.

Are you Jewish? Are you black? Are you gay? Do you live underwater? etc

my laziness
my clumsiness
my fear of small-talk ie at parties social gatherings, i hate it bcz it makes ppl think I am rude/stuck-up/detached

treeship has gone to the next level

we are left with merely his afterglow burned into our retinas

Ha, it never occurred to me before reading passing spacecadet's above post that darraghmac could be talking to her and not to me, narcissistic self loathing strikes again.

and if your you're saying something stupid

xp

Ive been struggling lately with the q of whether an ilx thread about paul mccartney's hair is, in fact, intrinsically more or less important than an ilx thread about racism, and what, if any, the takeaway would or should be in either event, particularly ito the voice with which one chooses to or finds oneself adopting or using in that thread.

No conclusions as yet tbh, except that everyone, self included, is a fuckin dick

I say struggled, i wondered briefly in passing annoyance tbh

Also yeeesh aps

Tho imo

what we owe to our exes, partic certaines of that bunch who may or may not include this one (tho lets be fuckin clear as waterford here: it does) is dwarfed through necessity and circumstances and every regard both practical and indulgent by what we owe to ourselves, particularly when it comes to letting them know what we think of them and their behaviour.

imo

<3 dmac

ah then I hate myself not for being angry but for being insufficiently eloquent and righteous in my anger that they quail with sudden shame and self-loathing of their own, I suppose

but it's a start

also from reading his/her posts I think I might actually be Eight Model Play, but EMP seems quite nice tbrr, so if we really are each other then that again is a start at the old not-self-hating thing

It might be a bad novella version of schizophrenia-as-healing like secret window but with shy waves instead of eh i cant remember anything more about secret window tbh

I gave up being righteous and angry at the same time years and years ago, turns out i remained more than eloquent enough to really skewer people in that state.

Now i only get angry enough to splutter and curse, and righteousness meh i dont miss that at all tbh.

I don't take the risks that I know I should, especially socially. I am quasi sociopathic and sometimes can't muster genuine empathy and compassion when I should. I can't quit some devastating habits. Half of what I say I don't really mean -- I don't consciously people-please or misrepresent myself, I have just learned to dispense generic conversation-greasing bs at times and need to quit.

I hate where I am in life, I also hate the fact I don't seem to do anything about it but get more frustrated and angry about where I am in life.
It's like I'm waiting for luck or an opportunity to find me, rather than going looking for it myself.

I could go on etc...

The people who say they hate everything about themselves- if you had the choice would you like to stop hating yourself and accept yourself?

I don't know. Actually, when I said "Everything?" upthread, I was thinking more about my body and personal appearance. (I'm actually rather proud of my work ethic and skills at handling money.) But even if I were to accept myself, the average stranger would judge me by that appearance, and probably find me lacking. They may be the ones with the problem, but they have ways of making that my problem.

re physical appearance, it's my opinion that people don't have a very good sense of what they look like. i think this because day to day i feel i look different, when i know that in reality i probably look pretty much the same all the time. we are too close, too familiar with our own appearance to judge it accurately so i think the best thing to do is just assume you look good and move on.

easier said than done, etc., but really i don't think anything positive can come out of hating your appearance. like, i don't think it would give you a more accurate perception of yourself to do this.

My left foot is missing a big toe
I stutter and sometimes just don't say anything
I smoke and probably shouldn't drink so much
I stayed too long at that store

I stayed too long at that store

ha this is kind of haunting

i like the miley song/video more than i want to cop to

I hate it that sometimes I hate lots of people

violent temper :(

I expect the violence of your temper expends itself in being very loudly and demonstratively angry, rather than in actual violence. In which case, you've just a beastly temper, not really a violent one.

i'm taking him at his word.

Forehead
Legs
Bad temper
Not being able to "go with the flow" 90% of the time.
I get all Cookie Monster "nomnomnom" around food I love and slurp up drinks I love too, with complete abandon. Feel so immature about it and trying to not be that way. In Spanish they have a word for it "tragona".
24 hour fixations

Forehead
Legs
Bad temper
Not being able to "go with the flow" 90% of the time.
I get all Cookie Monster "nomnomnom" around food I love and slurp up drinks I love too, with complete abandon. Feel so immature about it and trying to not be that way. In Spanish they have a word for it "tragona".
24 hour fixations

according to the internet, that is only half the story of the word 'tragona'

Hate that I actually dislike a lot of my own family.

^^^ Also hate that in one case there seems to be no reason at all, and that in the other case I'm reacting to the problems at an 8-year-old level.

Hate my all-consuming focus on pleasing other people. Others' poor opinions of me can send me into a tailspin so disproportionate that I can even marvel at it while it's happening, but I can't short-circuit it.

I expect the violence of your temper expends itself in being very loudly and demonstratively angry, rather than in actual violence. In which case, you've just a beastly temper, not really a violent one.

― Aimless, Monday, 26 August 2013 18:13 (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i'm taking him at his word.

― Treeship, Monday, 26 August 2013 18:44 (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

yeah Aimless has it - mostly manifested vocally, although a few articles of furniture have suffered

I'll tell you what I hate about myself: my desire to see the middle class punished for their supposed feeble-minded belief in meaningless status symbols and non-material social hierarchy touchstones. The kind of people who think that because they drive a BMW 7-series, that it somehow makes them better than a person who drives a BMW 5-series. Or someone who thinks they're important because they belong to an exclusive club or are a member of some association. These people could live to be a hundred and will still die thinking that somehow their golf handicap is an important indicator of social status.
It's not my life these people are wasting so why should I care? I guess because I want to see wilful ignorance punished. The only way it could possibly work with these middle class conciousness vacuums is for them to lose everything they hold to be so important.
So that's what I hate about myself: my inability to let stupidity that doesn't affect me just slide on past.

haha you quite obviously don't hate yourself for that

Oh I do.
Bonus zing: so why do you spend so much time posting on ILX then, snoball?

I hate the lower orders for their lack of ambitiob, hi5 mayne

Ambitiob mind u

hate myself for instinctively cutting and pasting posts to 'trenchant social commentary' rather than engaging with the subject at hand

post would be good if you'd done that with snoball's post first

golf handicap is no indicator of social status - what gear you use and what club you play at, yes, but not handicaps

The people who say they hate everything about themselves- if you had the choice would you like to stop hating yourself and accept yourself?

It depends what "the choice" is between. If the choice is between trudging ever onwards in the same old hatred and shit and awfulness or stopping hating myself, I guess I'd choose the latter. If the choice is between not existing or stopping hating myself, well actually I guess they're pretty much the same. But I'd take the immediate cessation of existence over everything.

really?

not trying to pry, but do you feel like that all the time? i go through phases, hours or stretches of days, when i wish it didn't exist but it tends to go away.

Totally, and I actually don't understand anyone who wouldn't. On the proviso that cessation of existence really is the end of all consciousness, why would anyone sane not take that over the uncertainties, perils and general shittiness of even an average existence, never mind an actually awful one?

xp to your first post, T.

i get that from a utilitarian standpoint, but still feel a sort of instinctual attachment to my consciousness and most times am very much afraid of death.

Ugh, don't tar me with the utilitarian brush. For one thing you'd be wrong re: most strands of utilitarianism - the point is to maximise happiness not minimise pain. Also, fuck utilitarians.

hey we're right here

xp fair enough, sorry. i tend to use terms sort of loosely/sloppily so i wasn't necessarily associating what you were saying with peter singer or w/e.

I hate that I am so obsessive, and that I cannot give attention to all the areas in my life that need attention - instead I laser focus on one thing and forget the rest.

I hate my brittleness/defensiveness and inability to roll with the punches and feel natural--wanting to cover for being caught on the off foot, instead of being able to be graciously honest about it. I had an anxiety dream this morning in which I got backed into a corner, socially, and how intensely embarrassing and bad-feeling it was. Did a little unpacking of that when I woke up, good times.

my inability to kick a football hard and accurately into the top corner of a goal

When we learning about Hitler at school I remember being unnerved at how may qualities I seemed to share with him, like socially awkward, interest in painting, staying up until the middle of the night watching films and getting up about midday, digestive issues etc.

that's how most people are like in school, though. it's just that some then get out of school and have life that dictated that they should no longer be socially awkward or staying up until middle of the night, and others become dictators.

I hate that I sometimes have no choice but to be indifferent towards certain people, give them the cold shoulder, or purposefully be a frivolous, insensitive guy.

i hate my lack of self-control and my inability to deal with boredom which sometimes seems like more of a philosophical problem than a psychological one. i think i agree with nietzsche (my version of nietzshce) that self-mastery and the sense of empowerment that comes from it is the key to happiness and i am totally on the opposite side of the spectrum in this regard.

i love my ability to always post in the right thread

Things you love about yourself