Provel cheese and St. Louis style pizza

So buried in this is this:

By far the worst thing about St. Louis is the proliferation of Provel Cheese. This abomination, which cannot legally be called cheese, has the melting point of warm butter, and tastes like burnt plastic - is put on "St. Louis style" pizza and other Italian dishes and is universally loved by St. Louis natives but loathed by literally everyone else. Think about it. New York style pizza and Chicago style pizza can be found all over the country, because people from elsewhere try it, like it, and bring it back to their hometown. St. Louis style pizza, which tastes like a burnt saltine cracker with a thin layer of sauce and provel cheese on it, is found nowhere else because outsiders come to St. Louis, try it, and vow to never put such wretched filth in their mouths again.

Duly impressed, I have asked around and among the initial reactions:

"Provel is the living worst. It singlehandedly ruins all forms of cuisine with which it comes in contact."

"St Louis style pizza once described to me (in St Louis) as, "like eating a wet cracker"...I've had the misfortune of eating it on several occasions."

I ask you to share your experiences and if in fact you are still alive after having eaten some.

I feel sick already

Thats the Deadspin "Why Your Team Sucks" about the Rams, right? i literally just read that.

like eating e-z cheese on cardboard

my only comment, as a missouri native and someone who is not a connoisseur of edible items, is that i grew up about an hour south of st. louis, blissfully unaware of provel cheese or st. louis style pizza. as i got older and met some st. louis natives, they all loved Imo's (provel promulgators), swore by it. i tried imo's several times and it tastes like barf pizza. i was ridiculed by the stl natives for it but i stood my ground. imo's pizza/provel cheese: it makes makes you say nice things about pizza hut.

I am a St. Louis citizen and find Provel reprehensible. ON THE OTHER HAND, the logic of the Deadspin write-up has to be countered by the fact that toasted ravioli are good, noble, and relatively underdistributed. (Someone else can argue for the slinger, not my thing.)

I can see toasted ravioli working somehow, yeah, but this pizza, oh dear.

Okay so I looked for some photos and fucking what is this

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_NDxeU8EfmHY/TNFFMYxynaI/AAAAAAAABok/947ctCqE0YI/s320/St+Louis+Style+Pizza.jpg

that looks like the amazing pub pizzas i grew up on but those tend to use mozzarella

15 years ago, a band I was in was driving through St. Louis. We were hungry, so stopped in a place that proclaimed St. Louis's best pizza. Excited, we got a large St. Louis style pizza. When it arrived, we all immediately dug in, but within half a bite basically stopped chewing and looked at each other with the same surprised/grossed out face. It tasted like ketchup and cheez whiz. And that was pretty much it for us, a shock given one member of the band would otherwise pretty much eat anything.

Our friends from St. Louis proudly defend St. Louis pizza.

I had this once, in 2007 at the outset of a tour. It was weird and I didn't finish the pizza, but I didn't find it gross...it was very salty and weird. It reminded me of the "cheese" we used to get for free from the government for a couple of years when I was a kid, only with a bunch of salt stirred in. I now have active "I'd like to try one of those provel cheese pies" cravings a couple times a year. basically what I'm saying here is provel cheese is fucked up but so I am so I am pro provel cheese.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uVd0nu7cEi4

taking this to its logical extreme, imo's now offers "provel bites"

also there's a place in brooklyn that makes pizzas with provel (naturally)

Both use Provel, which is paired with salami and housemade sausage on the St. Louis Pie. The Kind Brother, however, probably isn't easily found on any St. Louis-made St. Louis-style pizzas. Its toppings include roasted wild mushrooms, béchamel sauce, and an egg.

dying

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1UysA-rkmbA

follow me down the rabbit hole of imo's youtube account

I have never heard of provel cheese or St. Louis style pizza but I really want to try it now.

I want to go on the record as being 100% opposed to the absurd Midwestern practice of cutting pizza into stupid fucking squares. So many times I've ordered a pizza and failed to specify that I want it cut in slices, like the good god damn lord intended and the disappointment I feel when I open the box and see those dumb squares is crushing.

Huh. Apparently no St. Louis style pizza in Chicago. The closest with similar crust and sauce but no provel per a couple of q&a sites is a place I've eaten and hate because of the crust and sauce.

Now I really really want to try it.

check this place out imo

http://www.foxholetapandpizzeria.com/

squares are for sharing

I never get out to the 'burbs ( no hate - just no car) and will prob not make the trip for weird pizza.

I just.

http://media.npr.org/assets/img/2013/02/14/provel-002-cc-94566144f79056e4ae2176129087475faa658b54-s40-c85.jpg

Look I know there's no one form for cheese but.

With 30 Rock off the air, Judah Friedlander has time to indulge other interests. Like processed cheese.

Friedlander, who played Frank on the sitcom (the guy with all the custom baseball caps), says he's been "obsessed" for the past several years with Provel, a processed blend of Swiss, provolone and cheddar rarely found outside its hometown of St. Louis.

"It's not even legally cheese," Friedlander tells The Salt. "It's melted plastic from the '80s."

Even its fans admit Provel is an acquired taste. For me, eating raw Provel is akin to chewing on a candle that's lit at the other end. It has the texture and sheen of wax, with an aftertaste redolent of the liquid "smoke flavor" that is the last ingredient listed on the label of a block of the stuff.

But people raised eating Provel love it. It's practically unknown outside of St. Louis, but in that city Provel can be found all over, melted onto pizzas and hamburgers and adorning pasta and salads.

My theory is that this is the counterweight to Hawaii and Spam.

wow, that place in brooklyn with st. louis style pizza is right near my house.
i am still not going to try it.

they can have it. god bless them. i lived in the land of scrapple for over a decade. it takes all kinds.

scrapple is pretty deece.

yeah but there is sausage and ham in the world...

and bacon...

i mean why bother...

also pork roll in philly. just don't need it.

but still i'll take a greasy slice of horrible philly pizza with pork roll and scrapple on top before i eat cheese-like goo on a pizza.

Don't even with scrapple. Scrapple is amazing and great. SCRAPPLE.

I want to go on the record as being 100% opposed to the absurd Midwestern practice of cutting pizza into stupid fucking squares. So many times I've ordered a pizza and failed to specify that I want it cut in slices, like the good god damn lord intended and the disappointment I feel when I open the box and see those dumb squares is crushing.

I hate the fucking squares, too, but for what it's worth, kids love it, because the can get pieces without crust, which kids like, because they're weird, not that it matters because the type of pizza cut into squares generally doesn't have great crust, anyway, so maybe the kids are onto something.

I will not cave in to the infantilization of pizza.

this should gross me out but it doesn't. I want to try it!! cheeze whiz comparisons actually make me more interested (I have a weakness for american fake cheese, I have no idea why or where it came from)

aero, carl: meet me in st louis

I've had Imo's a few times, not as horrible as this thread makes it sound. still when I'm in stl I don't usually go for it. there's an stl grocery chain here in town that sells provel, maybe I should try making queso for nachos with it

squares > slices imo, can pop em like chips

I love pizza cut into squares. Just tastes better.

wasn't there an ep of like Kitchen Nightmares where the chef used provel in his mexican food or something and Ramsay was like DAFUQ IS THIS?

maybe I'm misremembering. I'm just fascinated of the concept of a regional delicacy that everybody else hates. well i dunno, does anybody outside of FL like Gator tail?

i remember driving through upper michigan and seemingly every store and gas station had pasties for sale and i kinda went hmmm, maybe next time. i'm sure they are fine. just didn't know if i wanted to get one and have that be the one bad pastie in the bunch. they were just kinda sitting there.

http://www.micuisine.com/images/lunapiercook/michigan/nylundpasties/nylundpasties_plated_web.jpg

british tourists probably gobble them by the handful.

Not sure I've ever seen a pasty quite like that.

There are lots of little pockets of Brit expats or legacies from when immigrants came over for mining or factories or whatever throughout the midwest where they have pasty and pie shops. My friends hit one in Wisconsin all the time.

yeah i figured the pasty thing extended beyond upper mich but it really seemed like pasty fever there. they really were everywhere.

i just got a record in at the store called Pubs, Pearlies & Pints and now i want a pasty. (live music at Dan Farson's Waterman's Arms) (PUT A BIT OF TREACLE ON MY PUDDIN', MARY ANN!)

pizza in squares is awful, it's impossible to eat without making a mess.

Used to hate pizza in squares, now I sort of prefer it.

Pizza Poll: Squares or Slices

Weird -- I just found out about St. Louis-style pizza last weekend, while hanging out with a native of that fair city. Apparently Cook's Illustrated tried to approximate it -- their version of Provel cheese was a mix of American and Monterey Jack cheeses, plus liquid smoke.

I remember when they did Cincinnati style chili, too. The secret was to boil the raw hamburger in tomato sauce or something similarly weird.

yeah i figured the pasty thing extended beyond upper mich but it really seemed like pasty fever there. they really were everywhere.

I grew up there and yes, they are everywhere, but there is of course a wide disparity of quality between those you find at gas stations and those that might be at a nice little bakery or grocery store or whatever. Also the pic you posted looks unlike any Upper Michigan pasty I've ever seen.

On the topic of St Louis pizza -- a friend of my wife is bringing some with her when she comes to visit tonight. I'm slightly nervous.

We live in Chicago, btw. I keep wondering why we can't go to the Giordano's down the street for pizza instead.

I look forward to your St. Louis pizza report.

a friend of mine got a job in STL and made a conscious decision to "go native." so he's been celebrating provel pizza occasionally on his FB. i'm not sure if his tastebuds are really malleable or what.

i've had italian food in STL but not provel pizza. i'm the sort of guy who'll try any (or almost any) foodstuff once, so if I'm ever down there I'll give it a try.

Provel doesn't taste that weird to me, but I grew up on it so maybe I'm just used to it. It's not my favorite but I'll eat me some Imo's if I'm in town. (Grew up in STL but live in NYC now.) It's only recently that I was aware of what Provel was or knew that some people hated it. Back in the day I think I thought it was just short for provelone.

This fancier gourmet pizza place that opened in St. Louis in the last couple years (Pi ... they're really good btw) printed up NO PROVEL ALLOWED t-shirts with a red circle-and-slash.

A provel pizza was Imos the first thing I had the only time I went to St Louis. We stayed for a week. We didn’t order another one.

*from Imos was*

http://slice.seriouseats.com/images/20091111ImosUpskirt2.jpg

I think outside St. Louis, "St. Louis style pizza" just means a thin cracker crust, not provel cheese. Or am I wrong?

i want to try this shit so bad. i feel like i'm prepared after a lifetime of eating stuff like this:
http://l.yimg.com/ck/image/A1651/165133/300_165133.jpg

nah there's thin cracker crusts in Chi; I think the STL key is provel.

a couple of weeks ago Provel just started showing up at Kroger (I am in Michigan). I am kind of tempted to buy it next time I'm there

I will say, I can only handle it melted on a pizza. Imo's or other places will like serve shredded provel on top of a salad, that's pretty gnarly imo.

haha maybe Imo's actually stands for "in my opinion"

"It's pizza...in my opinion."

this begs a "local specialty foods that nobody else in the world fucking likes" thread.

what's the diff between this and cheese whiz

http://www.kmov.com/entertainment/Jimmy-Kimmel-Jon-Hamm-argue-over-Imos-pizza-225332262.html

Kimmel had Jon Hamm, who he dubbed “St. Louis’ favorite son,” on the show and made him do a taste test comparison between an Imo’s pizza and a homemade one. As expected, Hamm chose the St. Louis establishment’s product as being better.

Kimmel’s wife is from St. Louis and he said he can’t stand some of the city’s claim-to-fame foods.

“I get a lot of abuse from people in St. Louis whenever I make fun of their terrible, terrible pizza place,” he said.

Kimmel also said he thought toasted ravioli was "disgusting also."

"it tastes like 11 world series" was a good line ^___^ my mom puts provel cheese in salads which gets some wtf looks from non-locals.

I knew nothing about this pizza til recently and now I'm completely fascinated by the passionate reactions.

Damnit, forgot about this thread. The pizza I had, that was brought half baked from Imo's by my wife's bff and finished in our oven, was unremarkable. Very thin, creamy textured cheese, tasted okay but I couldn't imagine repping hard for it.

every time I'm hungry despite eating a decent sized dinner I pull up this thread to make it go away.

Haha.

provel is good, i had a friend from st louis bring me some and i ate it in various configurations enjoying each one

I am from St. Louis and I dislike provel. Eating Imo's is like doing a kind of tribal penance. It's not consumed because it's edible, it's consumed because it's "ours." At best it's campy nostalgia.

That said, thin crispy crusts are good and should be more widespread.

very excited to try this pizza next time I am in St. Louis

Still get the fear thinking about this pizza!

man the descriptions of itt are so disturbing that I never want to set foot in St. Louis. In my mind now St Louis Pizza : Pizza :: Zombies : Humans

it's probably about as bad as people say NYC pizza is good... bad, but not that bad.

Chicago Cracker crust pizza is usually cut into squares, there are bars and small regional chains (like Pizza King/Sir Pizza) that is the type of pizza across the midwest. I think that's why most pizza is cut that way.

i had square cut “greek pizza” w gyro meat and feta on it in minnesota and my god it was good

i was totally horrified by the description before i had it

willing to believe st louis pizza might be good

Don't go crazy now.

finally tried imo's and it was OK. the cheese was creamy which was weird on a pizza. would try again

Is greek pizza the same as Detroit style? A bakery in my neighborhood serves Detroit style and it's really good - no feta or gyro meat but it's square cut and little thicker crust but it's flaky, also the sauce goes over the cheese rather than vice versa.

they're similar, but one essential component of Detroit-style is that the cheese goes to the edge of the crust and touches the edges of the pan while cooking. and probably there's more oil/butter in the crust compared to Greek thick-crust pizza, which makes it crunchy.

i love imo's, i'm in st louis a few times per year and always demand it

Detroit pizza I want to say also has a slightly spicier more garlicky sauce.

imo's never stood out to me as exceptionally weird or anything idk, tho certainly bad st louis pizza is.... rubbery

imo's is awesome tho. very good pepperonis

My sister's SOP for a visit to the Lou is to stop at Steak & Shake immediately upon arriving, then order Imo's for dinner, and (weather permitting) get to Ted Drewes in the evening.

I'm not nearly so rigid about it but I guess I understand the impulse. There are now enough Steak & Shakes in the East that I don't feel deprived. And as I said I will eat Imo's if I have to but don't seek it out.

nah the minnesota pizza was not flaky, it had a think crust that was not particularly crisp

Greek thick-crust, in my experience, is very dry and chewy and makes for a really good white pie

xpost

last time i had steak and shake was in the middle of a night, after a daylong shroom journey. i ordered cheese fries and then threw up in their bathroom in a clean and orderly fashion, like a gentleman

Thanks to this thread and that viral story about the ranch dressing restaurant from a couple years ago, plus Cards fans, I’ve made “people from St Louis probably love it” my default explanation whenever I encounter something terrible in a grocery aisle.

Except apparently “sweet horseradish pickles” belongs in the Great Lakes megalopolis food crimes thread instead of here. Whatever.