X Factor (UK) 2013

Tonight, 8PM, ITV1.
Let your hatred flow...
http://tcowa.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/emperorGrins.jpg

This is still going huh?

Perhaps going downhill, but still going. Apparently changes have been made to the audition format so it's more like earlier series, ie, auditionees are in a room with the judges instead of on a stage in front of a baying crowd.

That's better.

X Factor judges, what's on your iPod?
Dodgy, 'In A Room'

Bruce Springsteen: "Three Yesses and a No"

Watched some of this on Saturday. I only really watch it for the mad people who can't sing but they've cut back on them. It was mostly really boring people who could pretty much keep in tune. The worst thing is, the people who get a yes from the judges come back for a second audition in front of an audience. So the idea is you have to sit through the boring ones twice. Fuck that.

Yeah, it kind of makes the Sunday programme a waste of time. Generally the whole thing has become more 'The Voice' like in it's increasingly humane treatment of tone deaf screechers.

I had to give up early doors when Sharon started putting really shit people through for a laugh and average singers with sob stories moved everyone to tears by having sob stories despite not being particularly good at singing. Same old same old, in other words.

They've somehow managed to drag out the auditions even more, so we only get to see seven or eight singers on the Saturday, and then it's pretty much a given that six of them will get through to boot camp anyway (the other two sent of with a "keep practising and come back next year").

bit boring eh. good to hear the phrase 'kept his dick wet' on my tv at 8pm though.

A yodelling 17 year old, ffs

tbqh, I'm glad there are less of the mad/delusional nutters, and more of the 'not quite good enough, but keep practicing' ones. Lets people know what is really required.

Wow, they really drag out the audition stages, don't they? Still bloody whittling them down to the least shit ones.

that extended thing with the chairs, jeez, such cruelty. if i cared about these people this show would be so emotionally draining.

Yeah that was brutal.

This is the first one I've watched in any great depth this series, cannot believe Sharon sent home that dude who sang Higher Love. Are her ears made of cloth?

I work with G1l3s P0tt3r's mum. She says it's been crazy, girls outside the house already trying to see him. He's got something like 200k Twitter followers and 50k FB friends.

Is it just me, or has Dermot started dyeing his hair?

vote Tamera

Ah, look at all the loony people
Ah, look at all the loony people

Dermot O'Leary, picks up the mic and goes out on the stage
Trys to conceal his rage
Looks at the camera, wearing the face that he gets paid by the hour for
The crowd are so bored.

All the loony people
Where do they all come from?
All the loony people
Why can't they sing a song?

That Gary Barlow, writing the words of a song that no one wants to hear
No one comes near.
Look at the winner, they'll release a single and then disappear
For most of next year.

All the loony people
Where do they all come from?
All the loony people
Where do they all belong?

Ah, look at all the loony people
Ah, look at all the loony people

Dermot O'Leary, dyes his hair and thinks it won't show
But everyone knows
All of the judges, send it to deadlock, the audience raves
No one was saved

All the loony people (ah, look at all the loony people)
Where do they all come from?
All the loony people (ah, look at all the loony people)
Why can't they sing a song?

this seat swapping thing is so stupid and pointlessly mean

yum

I didn't watch or record tonight because that seat thing is so fucking awful. I sort of see why they have to do it because too many talent shows have a billion yesses before they've weighed up the options, but surely you'd whittle down in a less unpleasant way?

When do the live shows start? I'll probably get back on board for that.

Next week is the Judge's Houses Blubathon, so the week after that at the earliest.

chairs was unusually cruel, especially for the girls - seemed to be set up to have three dead certs going in last.

The last note of the flute playing woman doing 'High And Dry' just now... Wow.

Yeah that was something else.

Louis still wearing those sunglasses that make him look like a Mafia hitman on holiday.

Just been catching up on all the latest episodes (because I am that cool!)

Groups - Not sure I'm seeing what Gary sees in the new girl band (Miss Dynamix!) Pure Shores was a great song choice but they didn't exactly sound great singing together. Kingsland Road are of course terrible and the producers should probably just accept that One Direction were a one off and it will never happen again, just ask The Risk, Union J, Distric3 or Nu Vibe. Rough Copy seem like nice enough lads but don't have anything else to add at this point.

The Overs - Seriously what is the point? The prison officer will go far (in a Chris Maloney, Tesco Mary way) but will end up with exactly the same album album out for Mother's Day situation as all the others. Sharon putting through Shelly proves that she still thinks it is the same show she was last on in 2007. Even though she got praised for her vocals by ALL the judges those cruise ship comments are coming her way very very soon. She will be out by week 2 just like Sami Brookes was. Lorna is Sharon's best singer but they have given her no airtime yet so she will be out within the first 3/4 weeks. I love that Joseph was an absolute shoe in until he got in a big strop at the chair swapping auditions "NO NO NO...You can't do this to me man!" You could tell right there that Sharon took a dislike to him and he had just screwed it for himself. Shame as the rock singers on the show always provide a good laugh (Storm Lee, Jamie Afro etc)

The Boys - Oh Louis...your obsession with "Ready made pop stars" has really made you fuck it up this year in a year they finally didn't give you the shit categories. Yeah Nicolas can sing but remember Eggnog Quigg? This guy will win the votes every week until the last few weeks before the final when the producers start sabotaging him just like they did to Janet Devlin and poor Eggnog because he obviously isn't the kind of singer they want representing the show these days. Guy with crap hair has nothing going for him and Sam won't make it that far even though every week they will try and brainwash us with all the "the girls all love you" comments. Sending Paul home over any of these guys was the biggest fuck up this year. Yeah he was shy and not quite as skinny as the other guys but he seemed like a good guy and had a great voice (by X Factor standards)

The Girls - As soon as Abi auditioned with that look, playing the guitar and singing her own song it was completely obvious she was going to be in the final 12. The producers really like those quirky girls don't they? Thinking she'll probably go the same way as Ella from last year though. Tamera seems to be the chosen one this year and will be pushed all the way to the final. She can sing (when she remembers her words) but I'm just not sure. I feel the press will all over her and all those hard times she kept talking about will soon be revealed. Hannah is obviously a good singer and stands out in this category but PLEASE STOP CRYING. Her sob stories each week are going to be unbearable. One other thing on this category is personally I was sad Relley C didn't get through. Loved her audition and judges houses song and she seemed really likeable. Was that just me? Oh and Melanie and Jade... see you next year.

Yeah. Although I feel like either Relley or Paul will get parachuted back in as a "surprise".

Sadly I think it's more likely Melanie will take Relley's place if they do the whole wildcard thing again this year. They really made it seem like she was going to make it this year.

Tamera really the only one I can see being anything beyond the show from this bunch.

The blonde woman in the overs category is such a joke. Souli Roots could sell more records than her.

There were a couple of interesting rumours on Popjustice indicating Souli Roots was being pushed to be this year's joke act.

It was online a few weeks ago that Souli had actually got through to the lives and Gary kicked up a massive fuss about it. I guess they just got it wrong, but I was definitely expecting her to go through as the joke act.

People at the Bootcamp shows said that after Souli Roots performed, Sharon left her seat and spoke with the production team for 15 minutes before returning and telling her that she couldn't have a Top 6 seat.

I'm guessing that Mrs. O dug her heels in?

Tamera really the only one I can see being anything beyond the show from this bunch.

Tamera is really obviously equipped to be a star, but the stories that are coming out already could maybe hamstring her? They don't read as 'sympathetic troubled teen'; I'm sure syco/itv will do what they can to fix that (oh, ok, underway, but i get the impression it's hard to shift drugs + bullying w/ the public.

Not sure I'm seeing what Gary sees in the new girl band (Miss Dynamix!)

He is a vain man, maybe: he put them together, so he was always going to put them through.

At this point, I like Hannah (I think her tears should stop, and even now are tempered by a winning 'fuck working in Greggs' attitude) and Rough Copy.

Rough Copy might provide some mildly diverting entertainment. The other groups not so much. I knew that Barlow would put Miss Dymaxion through the second he said he was putting a group together from the discarded solo girls. His ego is just colossal.
The prison officer is going to go the Tesco Mary route for sure. Shelley will be Wanger-ing it up with a side order of the singer from M People. Lorna probably get voted off before we really get to see much from her, due to public indifference/lack of screen time.

Sending Paul home over any of these guys was the biggest fuck up this year.

Agreed. I have no interest in the Boys category, the finalists are all so bland, to the point of making Leon Jackson look interesting. Someone says this every year, but how the hell did Louis ever make a successful career in the music business? Oh yeah, he got incredibly lucky.
Girls category, more or less the same as the boys, but with added tabloid fodder.
There is just no-one even remotely interesting this year. Some of them have technical singing ability, but it's really like the producers are expecting everyone to sit down and watch the programme with a fucking mug of Ovaltine in their hand. Someone like Kitty Brucknell or even Johnny Robinson could have made it more watchable, but it's just going to be blandness, and that's even before the X Factor machine has started squashing the individuality out of the contestants.

I'm definitely at the stage now where I'm watching it wanting people to be voted off more than actually wanting anyone in particular to do well. I'll be more satisfied seeing that boy band or quirky Abby getting kicked off than seeing Hannah (who is one of the better contestants) getting through each week. I think it was the same last year. All I really remember now is that by the end I was desperate for Christopher Maloney to win just to see Simon Cowell have to spend a shit load of money trying to launch his career. The last people I kind of liked were Little Mix and the last person I actually supported was Cher Lloyd, which seems a long time ago now.

Agree that Gary Barlow's ego is ridiculous these days and sometimes I think he might even be a more pathetic and spiteful human being than Louis. I think the whole Frankie Cocozza thing was when I really lost any tiny little bit of respect I had for him. He actually thought that guy was going to win and defended his vocals, behaviour and overall awful personality.

I liked Ella Henderson last year but she peaked early.

Agree that Gary Barlow's ego is ridiculous these days

"I think I've created something special with these girls. Well done me."

Dermot: "How did that lipstick get behind your ear?"

Hmm, its as if he doesn't watch the performance or something!

Flash! Aaaaahh-aaaaaaaahhh!
Fuck off with this bullshit!
DUN-DUN DUN DUUHHHNN!

Got to admit that all of the groups were quite good, sort of likable. I did miss Rough Copy cos I'd started reading the paper, but the judges were enthusiastic so I'll give them the benefit. From the look of the other boyband, I expected to hate them, but they seemed nice enough.

I liked the girl that sang Ain't Nobody too.

Boys were total garbage, especially the guy with the horrible hair and the shrimp with the terrible tie. I can't remember another boy in fact.

The blonde woman who got kicked off was pretty embarrassing.

I got the wrong end of the stick and thought Souli Roots was in this (I might even have got the idea from this thread), so mostly I was waiting for her.

the other boy was the one dressed as a dentist

Blonde woman not kicked off (yet)

She has less chance of winning X Factor than my dog.

I don't even like dogs or own one. I would have to start liking dogs, acquire one, train it up, somehow get it in as a wild card AND have it win over the hearts of the public (this is the easiest step, to be fair, for a dog) - all before Christmas, but there is still more chance of this happening than that woman winning.

I missed the first twenty minutes due to Strictly overlap, fast forwarded past some filler and I was actually caught up by the time anyone actually started singing. There's another 45 minutes of this!

Well, THAT wasn't all about Nicole schtomping all over that, was it?

Nicholas' performance of 'Candy' really does look like something from a shitty cruise liner.

"And now while we count the votes money, here are a load of acts from previous years who were way more interesting."

It was bit Butlinstastic.

Oh look, it's all the most annoying people in the history of X Factor. Who were more fun than this year's guff lol xpost

More excitement in three minutes than in this entire series.

Wanger in a pirate hat is better than any amount of having to listen to Gary talk or Luke sing.

Popularity watch via Twitter: Sam is trending. Sam's Nan is trending. Nicholas is trending. Kingsland Road are trending and they aren't even in it. Anything to do with Luke, not so much. He's a goner, I'm sure of it.

Oh wait, Ellie Goulding is trending. Stand down.

The Killers, who are apparently both "the biggest rock band on the planet" and "out of this world" - make up your mind Dermot!

So, Luke's away. Good. And Sam will skoosh the final, so there's no point in even watching tomorrow.

b-b-but tomorrow there's Gary duetting with Elton John, and Katy Perry, and Wand Erection
oh right... *switches off TV*

Ha, Nicholas grabbing Sam and kissing her upper arm because that was the nearest thing he could grab was a bit funny.

Imagine paying money to hear Sam Callahan singing in an arena near you. People are odd.

Imagine Nicholas winning.

It's easy if you try.

I'm backing Nicholas all the way. Apparently someone that worked on the show in 2008 said if Eggnog Quigg had won the show it would have been a complete disaster, well I'm completely up seeing 2013s version of him winning and seeing what they do with him. Still a little bitter Maloney didn't win it last year.

Perhaps everyone assuming Sam will win has put some complacency into the voting public? Might not be as runaway a victory as everyone's thinking? I made a whole £4 profit from Luke going out tonight, might chuck a couple of quid of that on Nicholas.

When was the last time people were this sure about the winner? Maybe Leona Lewis?

http://youtu.be/eeNk7XL1Hbc

Oh yeah that link I just posted is fairly entertaining. Don't know anything about the woman interviewing Rough Copy but it goes downhill very quickly for them.

I think Matt Cardle was pretty much a cert to win the year he won.

He was winning the public vote throughout the series but I honestly thought One Direction were going to take it that year (Think Simon did too) It seemed like he was the last choice for the producers in that final four but there was nothing they could do to stop him. On the night I thought Rebecca was going to win just because of that great performance of Sweet Dreams she did.

Rebecca was pretty much my favourite singer ever in the X Factor, but I just couldn't see her toppling Cardle, he pretty much had in the bag from his first audition iirc. I'm still not sure how One Direction didn't win though.

Yeah it was a real shock they only came third (and only just beat Cher in the votes to come that high) I remember Konnie revealing the results of the votes each week on Xtra Factor, when she revealed One Direction had never been in the top 2 he couldn't believe it and snatched the card with the results on out of her hands to check himself. Sadly that have gone on to win in real life which I guess is all that matters really.

Who is 'he' in that sentence plz?

I'm guessing Cowell.

Yeah sorry missed that, it was indeed Simon Cowell. It was a great moment but I was surprised as I assumed they all knew how well their acts were doing throughout the show.

Well, when Leon beat Ryllan in 2007, there was a lot of "It's been nice knowing you Ryllan" in the final judges statements before the result was announced.

You mean Rhydian.

Still don't know how Leon won that series.

Apparently Sam's song is indeed going to be Skyscraper..oh dear.

Nicholas' song is going to be 'Superman (It's Not Easy)'
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GRz4FY0ZcwI

"The chance to support Beyonce on tour" - getting the coffees if Nicholas wins.

Wand Erection pretend to be a rock band, no wonder this song only reached #49 on the UK singles chart.

I'm flicking between Sam Bailey Wins The X Factor and Andy Murray Wins Sports Personality Of The Year in the channel-hopping battle of the foregone conclusions. I'm hoping I can get away without hearing a single note of singing (oh, did I just miss Wand Erection?)

Either it was Wand or five guys ad-libbing terrible lyrics over the top of Joan Jett's 'I Love Rock & Roll' at a karaoke bar.

Louis OTM about Nicole being ridiculous in the duet. However no-one OTM about the best bit, which was obviously Jedward waving their crotches in Gary's disgusted face.

I liked the bit where they jumped on the judges table and Nicole had to quickly move her glass of water out of the way lest one of the Brothers Grimes knocked it over. Which was a real possibility, given that these two set off a fire alarm during their five minutes in the C4 Big Brother house.

Nicholas has started to sing in a Scottish accent, and is wearing a tartan jacket. I bet Louis put him up to this.

I bet Gary's playing his piano with one finger.

It's just as well Gary' quitting as a judge at the end of this series, as after this performance he'd never be able to get away with telling anyone that they had a weak voice.

Shock-Stun

Andy Murray wins BBC Sports Personality of the Year 2013

I am watching Xtra Factor on +1 just now and Nicole has just said "if Sam wins, I feel like *I'm* winning". Firstly, er, she DID win, and secondly IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT YOU.

Also, having not really paid that much attention to the actual show, I'm just realising the full horror of Nicole's dress. It looks like the cellophane they gift-wrap wine bottles in.

Who wants some stats?

http://tellymix.co.uk/reality-tv/the-x-factor/169518-x-factor-2013-voting-percentages-and-result-stats-revealed.html

Strictly handily beat XF for ratings this year.

So, it was always but only Sam and Nicholas, judging by the voting figures.

I read they tried to get Celine Dion for Sam (hey I bet Michael Bolton would be free!) but she turned them down

Celine Dion was on Strictly tonight (as in recorded yesterday, at the same time as the X Factor duets were on). I genuinely wish she had no intention of doing Strictly then decided to jet in to do it as soon as she knocked back the X Factor. I bet that's not what actually happened though, but it was kinda lolz that she was the obvious choice to duet with Sam, she was in the country, and Sharon had to plank Nicole onto Team Sam instead.

From BBC News:

Harry Styles wins paparazzi order

Sam Bailey wins X Factor final

http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2014/07/26/uk-james-arthur-to-change-name-following-homophobic-lyrics-row/

James Lovegays