I hate germans

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Not for WWII, not for ugly buildings, but for having every fucking article i want to read in their guttaral evil langauge. FUCK YOU GERMAN CLASSICISTS AND HEBREW SCHOLARS, I WILL DESTROY YOU.

anthony easton (anthony), Wednesday, 2 October 2002 13:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Bleib' ruhig, Anthony alter, alles wird gut.

Colin Meeder (Mert), Wednesday, 2 October 2002 13:37 (twenty-two years ago)

i like germans pretty well

ron (ron), Wednesday, 2 October 2002 13:41 (twenty-two years ago)

I love German!! It is a grebt langwidge. I shall quote you a bit from a GERMAN POME:

Oh, daß ich große Laster säh,
Verbrechen, blutig, kolossal -
Nur diese satte Tugend nicht,
Und zahlungsfähige Moral!

Hooray hooray that is from HEINRICH HEINE!

HEIN?

Sarah (starry), Wednesday, 2 October 2002 13:45 (twenty-two years ago)

my boss is German! so I like Germans obv.

Jeff W (Jeff W), Wednesday, 2 October 2002 13:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Another great German poem begins, "Ich hab' eine große Schlange".

Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 2 October 2002 14:01 (twenty-two years ago)

don't listen to dan - his mind is in the gutter

i luv germans

geeta (geeta), Wednesday, 2 October 2002 14:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Don't blame me, blame Tom!

Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 2 October 2002 14:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Claudia sieht spitze aus,
auf Claudia sind alle scharf,
ist es da nicht hundsgemein,
das bei Claudia keiner darf?
Denn ...
Claudia hat nen Schäferhund
und den hat sie nicht ohne Grund,
Abends springt er in ihr Bett
und dann geht es rund!

Claudia mag keine Jungs
Und sie ist auch nicht lesbisch,
am allerliebsten mag sie es,
mit ihrem Hundchen unterm Esstisch!

Claudia hat nen Schäferhund
und den hat sie nicht ohne Grund,
Abends springt er in ihr Bett
und dann geht es rund!

Neulich musste Claudia
dringend mal zum Arzt
und der riet ihr, aufzuhörn,
denn sie war total verharzt!

Claudia hat nen Schäferhund
und den hat sie nicht ohne Grund,
Abends springt er in ihr Bett
und dann geht es rund!

Colin Meeder (Mert), Wednesday, 2 October 2002 15:35 (twenty-two years ago)

come on...how abt beethoven. and david hasselhoff has been a big selling 'artist' over there. how can you hate a nation for that?!

you also a lot of german improv like peter brotzmann too.

Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Wednesday, 2 October 2002 15:45 (twenty-two years ago)

YES BUT I DO NOT SPEAK GERMAN AND I NEED TO RESEARCH CLASSIX PAPERZ.

anthony easton (anthony), Wednesday, 2 October 2002 16:49 (twenty-two years ago)

surely Dan's mind is in the guttural? bitte?

Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 2 October 2002 17:00 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.f-knieper.de/Auto/Bilder/05-914-4.jpg
YAY

Nate Patrin, Wednesday, 2 October 2002 17:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Digital Hardcore! Gunter Grass!

Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Wednesday, 2 October 2002 18:29 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.r-m.de/1_katalog/birdy/pict/blue_fs_kl.jpg
J34H!@# Germans r00l. Most of the best stuff I'm selling these days is from germany

N0RM4N PH4Y, Wednesday, 2 October 2002 18:34 (twenty-two years ago)

rainer maria rilke !

thomas mann !

can !

guru guru !

mike (ro)bott, Wednesday, 2 October 2002 18:44 (twenty-two years ago)

I am pretty neutral towards anything German, though their so descriptive, structured language give me the creeps and feel thoroughly sympathetic to Anthony. On the other hand, and kudos to Nietzsche (who was actually Swiss? like Goddard ...), Rilke (Czech), Kant (Russian right now), well, Brahms! But could you point any German contribution to FUN?

arantxa, Thursday, 3 October 2002 06:49 (twenty-two years ago)

German is a great language. Pronouncing place names and train stations makes holidays in Germany well worth it.

Andrew (enneff), Thursday, 3 October 2002 07:04 (twenty-two years ago)

nietzsche = polish (haha insert rub joke)

kraftwerk = fun

mark s (mark s), Thursday, 3 October 2002 07:32 (twenty-two years ago)

But could you point any German contribution to FUN?

German comedian Stefan Raab (who usually sucks pretty bad) played "It's Tricky" on the ukulele to a bemused Run-D.M.C. He then got in an argument with Jam Master Jay over which one of them is gay.

Daniel_Rf, Thursday, 3 October 2002 22:56 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.8trackheaven.com/Images/nena.jpg

gabriel rodriguez-doerr (gabe), Thursday, 3 October 2002 23:03 (twenty-two years ago)

german contribution to fun?
have you heard anything on bungalow records? bungalow.de

joan vich (joan vich), Friday, 4 October 2002 12:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Recently I've had to work with some Germans from a automobile maker who shall remain nameless, and they tended to be pretty sexist -- but that may be down to them working in the automotive industry (which is sexist to begin with) rather than them being German. All I know is, when I see a new beetle I feel like kicking it.

Nicole (Nicole), Friday, 4 October 2002 12:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Claudia sees sharpens out, on Claudia is sharp everything, is it there not dog in common, which may not with Claudia? Because... Claudia does not have nen shepherd dog and that has it without reason, evening jumps it into its bed and then goes it approximately! Claudia does not like young and it is also not lesbian, all-dearest likes it it, with its Hundchen unterm esstisch!

Claudia does not have nen shepherd dog and that has it without reason, evening jumps it into its bed and then goes it approximately!

Recently Claudia had urgently times to the physician and guessed it, aufzuhoern, because she was totally verharzt!

Claudia does not have nen shepherd dog and that has it without reason, evening jumps it into its bed and then goes it approximately!

Sam (chirombo), Friday, 4 October 2002 13:08 (twenty-two years ago)

it's fun to pretend 'ausfahrt' sounds like ass fart.

also:

http://130.94.20.88/franka/franka70.jpg

ron (ron), Friday, 4 October 2002 13:39 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www3.district125.k12.il.us/faculty/mlacogna/11241736.jpg

Venga, Friday, 4 October 2002 16:46 (twenty-two years ago)

nietzsche = polish (haha insert rub joke)

eh? (not that i wouldn't mind claiming him ... )

Tad (llamasfur), Wednesday, 9 October 2002 04:04 (twenty-two years ago)

I love Germans for Dada, Krautrock & microhouse.

Keith McD (Keith McD), Wednesday, 9 October 2002 04:07 (twenty-two years ago)

yippee! i got to see lola in a theater last friday

ron (ron), Wednesday, 9 October 2002 06:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Christgau to thread!

Andrew L (Andrew L), Wednesday, 9 October 2002 06:18 (twenty-two years ago)

The German language's pretty funny...even the nicest whisper can sound like a death sentence (ok..really exaggerated but you know their language is really kinda rude...but nevertheless Germans can be okay, too)

AngRy_Lynchm0b, Wednesday, 9 October 2002 15:43 (twenty-two years ago)

one year passes...
Beware of the german. The german is the greatest enemy to mankind!

bobby143, Friday, 7 May 2004 06:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Just dont mention the war.

Trayce (trayce), Friday, 7 May 2004 06:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Basil: "Don't mention the war. I mentioned it once, but I think I got away with it. So it's all forgotten now and let's hear no more about it. So that's two egg mayonnaise, a prawn Goebbels, a Herman Goering and four Colditz salads....no, wait a minute...I got confused because everyone keeps mentioning the war."

German: "Will you stop mentioning the war?"

Basil: " You started it."

German: " We did not start it."

Basil: " Yes you did, you invaded Poland"

C J (C J), Friday, 7 May 2004 07:01 (twenty-one years ago)

shut up germans are awesome, i mean one atrocdity shhould not kill an entire species right? otherwise we'd kill lions too.

allyzay, Friday, 7 May 2004 07:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Also, Saurkraut mit Bratwurst und Bier.

Ed (dali), Friday, 7 May 2004 07:26 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah saurkraut is awesome as fuck dude i could go for some ruight now.

allyzay, Friday, 7 May 2004 07:28 (twenty-one years ago)

serfiously whoever can get m some german or dutch beer right now is the winner, all the gave me at the 24 hor bodega was corona cos that's all they kind of undertrood undortunately.

allyzay, Friday, 7 May 2004 07:30 (twenty-one years ago)

him: what? what?
me: beer. please.
dude who paid: cervesa
me: si, cervesa. yo quiero amsetl light.
him: cervesa? si, corona?
me: si, corona o amstel light, amstel light, pllease please, lo siento yo hablo no espanol.
him: crona
me: whatever, it's 4 am.
other dude: here's the money, 10?
him: si si.
me: adios thanky ou for beer even tho it is corona doo you want some?
other dude: nah, get home safe it's cool, corona is crap.

aolyzay, Friday, 7 May 2004 07:32 (twenty-one years ago)

I love Germans. At the risk of repeating myself - they're English, only better. What we could be like, but aren't. Sigh.

Dave B (daveb), Friday, 7 May 2004 07:47 (twenty-one years ago)

wagner is pretty good too. he is no ravel but still hhe is good.

allyzay, Friday, 7 May 2004 07:49 (twenty-one years ago)

one tinme is had sex with a german. it was bad. apparently weed is not viagra exactly. he also ended up having a gf. wtf. seriously i dunno. it wasn't my steez also he just kind of look like graham coxon? i thin it wasn't my thing, but otherwise germans are awesome, actually i think the dude was hungarian.

allyzay, Friday, 7 May 2004 07:50 (twenty-one years ago)

i like germans

cinniblount (James Blount), Friday, 7 May 2004 07:58 (twenty-one years ago)

i do too, they seem very happy and eager to take my direction.

allyazy, Friday, 7 May 2004 08:00 (twenty-one years ago)

i passed out in a dugout in germany!

cinniblount (James Blount), Friday, 7 May 2004 08:02 (twenty-one years ago)

the thing is i would like to go to germany a lot but i am afraid my german is terrible because it truly is, terrible terrible, ui use dic tionarys too much and i forget the tenses and the genitive/dative/accusative cases all the time. we were talkig about thhis today at lunch, i was like i don't know if that is dative or accusative if i say you are crazy, i think it is accusavtive and tod was like i think so but i don't remember, i done too much medical work and i was like word i done too much of nothing this semester to remember my german. the thing is that will fuck me over when i goto berlin and be all like yo kraftwerk and they are like holdcenseifloppensietiseie and i am like what/ how can thhat work? i would like to go to berlin and munchen and stufrf tho. thsat is my life goal. i dunno if i can done live there tho, right, because i am kind of faking it at their language, thank god they are all super smart and speak german, or alt least mike myers lead me to belive.

xpost i am so jealous of you and serious when i heard my cousin in the navy got statione in germany i almost wantedt ojoint the military except it seemed much ahrder than just moving to ny and living off of men for a while so i didnt but dude germany.

allyzay, Friday, 7 May 2004 08:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Living here is really not all that great, Ally. And your German is good enough -- get the accent more or less right, and people will ignore your grammar screw-ups.

Colin Meeder (Mert), Friday, 7 May 2004 08:06 (twenty-one years ago)

hat's what i figured, i mean it is same thing in us really ,youknow that mbeing a us person and all, no one give a shit about perfect syntax. i really like the way german sounds, like to geo to germany a lot. one day, when i am a bit older and have a bitg more money i will go to germany and go to pub, i talked to real germans buut unfrotunately they moved awya and then i did too, there are a german couple across the hall from me in my new apartment buut they keept to themselves to be honest. soit is just me trusting my polish german teachr to know what she is talking about from her time in university in baden=wuerttemburg. where are you in germany again colin? perhaps we will fvisit there in the next several years and you can give me pointer because i will not get beyond advandec level 1 german in columbia, because my last semester will fall into that juridsticion.

does this make sense? i am fucked.

allyzay, Friday, 7 May 2004 08:09 (twenty-one years ago)

I can read through the haze of intoxication and sleep deprivation, Ally.

Anywho, we're still in Frankfurt, but we're moving to Vienna this summer (which is emphetically not in Germany, but in Austria, which is way way cooler) and you're totally welcome, yo.

Colin Meeder (Mert), Friday, 7 May 2004 08:25 (twenty-one years ago)

POST DRUNK MORE ALLY

Anyone who speaks German can't be bad

stevem (blueski), Friday, 7 May 2004 08:28 (twenty-one years ago)

austria is awesome, mozart dude, i used to have mad crush on tom hulce, like same thing as mozart. anyway austrians speak german but adifferent accent, corrent?

mein gott, ich habe ein aufsatz ueber "the idoit"/"notes from underground" machen gebract or something like that, i'm pretty toasted i'm pretty sure drnk germans wouldn't car what the girl in the sexy shirt said ttanyway. anyway i have this essay it has nothing to do with germans right but rissians, i think it is easy cos nastaysay fillipnova is like basically the femal version of the unerground man buut at the same time i dont feel doing it at all, its such a boring topic, played out in 11trh grade inglish, cant i work on german instead? i should've taken a course in kafka, not that that's not 11th grade nihilist either right? yyo.

aqllyzay, Friday, 7 May 2004 08:31 (twenty-one years ago)

i mean fucking hell, it's 5.30 in the morning over there right? it's not just booze right?

stevem (blueski), Friday, 7 May 2004 08:33 (twenty-one years ago)

no unfortunately it is more but seriously i really ilike germany. they are kind ofa wesome excpet for that whoe final solution bullshit, i mean i don't think that is cool but i reckon they arent itnot that not.

allyway, Friday, 7 May 2004 08:35 (twenty-one years ago)

but sweriously yo klike the germans would be all like yo sie is t die heisse frauelewin, sie is, wie sagt man das, "fucked up"

alloyzay, Friday, 7 May 2004 08:36 (twenty-one years ago)

haaaa, the whole time i was in new york i think phil-two was trying to hook up with some guy named charlie in the toilets, sounds like you guys finally did

stevem (blueski), Friday, 7 May 2004 08:36 (twenty-one years ago)

further evidence of teutonic supremacy

http://de.findcoolmovies.com/coversde/dudewh.jpg

stevem (blueski), Friday, 7 May 2004 08:37 (twenty-one years ago)

SCIENTIFIC PROOF of Teutonic supremacy:

http://www.freakytrigger.co.uk/pictures/fatman.jpg

Matt DC (Matt DC), Friday, 7 May 2004 08:39 (twenty-one years ago)

By the way, pronounciation of "ey Mann" is totally regional, which I didn't know -- in Frankfurt, it's "eye man", and in Berlin and Hamburg (and the movie too, I guess, I haven't seen it) it's "'ey man".

Colin Meeder (Mert), Friday, 7 May 2004 08:42 (twenty-one years ago)

why can't Germans say 'dude' then?

stevem (blueski), Friday, 7 May 2004 08:43 (twenty-one years ago)

'cause it would come out as "Toot".

Colin Meeder (Mert), Friday, 7 May 2004 08:45 (twenty-one years ago)

dude i totally dint hook up with charlie, wo is charlie besides the enemy in vietnam? charlie charlie charlie did you sever see that commercial with cindy crawrford and she is singing about that perfume, charlieA? he is more tone deafr than me and carey comebined, i swear to gott. anyway "ey Mann"? that is how man sagt "hey"? wo ist meines Auto? i wish I had eines Autos then i could drive to orient point right now right. or somewhere were people speak duetshce. i like thhe way that sound. omg monday i have to take a test on this, did i mention? my godd.

xpost i mean germans can say dude right because thhey say all sort of english word liek theyborrow "Job" instead of "Arbeit" or "Berfud" sometime right? they say job. job job job.

allyzay, Friday, 7 May 2004 08:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Toot toot! There's my car

stevem (blueski), Friday, 7 May 2004 08:48 (twenty-one years ago)

farhn farhn farhn auf der Autobarn....

Farm farm farm of the Ottoman

donut bitch (donut), Friday, 7 May 2004 08:51 (twenty-one years ago)

(i balme gareth and donna for not finishing up my goddamn beers last weekend)

donut bitch (donut), Friday, 7 May 2004 08:52 (twenty-one years ago)

gareth and donna are boviously beyothhces even thho i love them. i love them truly with kisses and all. stevem you shoudl come to berlin with us. i dunno when me and tom shall go but we will and you should bcome with your karfatwerk suit and all an d seriously it will be fun, i will drink an awful lot of fruuity beer right, what is that, lambic? wnyay i will drink that cos i much prefer that to these awful mexican beers i drink right now. gah. living in the hspanic neighbhoorhood is sometimes aweome because everyone is nice to me and remembers me as the gringa and likes me lot but when it is 4 am and all there is a cprona you are like shit i wish i lived bvack in the pretppie/germak/czeck nehbirohood i lived in b efore alsor remember MARV ALBER.\T

allzay, Friday, 7 May 2004 08:55 (twenty-one years ago)

I'll go to Germany if you go drunk, Ally.

Barima (Barima), Friday, 7 May 2004 12:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Germans are so eager to please - not surprising really.

Nietzsche = Prussian

Charles Dexter (Holey), Friday, 7 May 2004 12:21 (twenty-one years ago)

i used to hate them i'd met few and they were all like "oh you asussies we like it here so relaxed you know in germany it is so intense ja, we have the bomb hanging over our heads" then i hitched through europe with one and he was a teuton god sunbronzed and arrogant and pushing me around and i hated him and then later i'm travelling through south east asia and theres gangs of the fuckers and they are so noisy and loud and arrogant and i hated those fuckers too.

but now i work with one who calls hisself leroy and he is maybe 50 something and funny as hell. obsessed with dirt po US blacks goes every year on a trip: "you know what i like gaz." he says. " i like to just sit in a down home diner and listen to the black folk talk" and then he buys me designer pizza.

he hates germans himself though.

mullygrubber (gaz), Friday, 7 May 2004 12:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Damn, Ally is like the coked-up Joyce of NYC.

You should do a novel in that voice. Guaranteed classic.

miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Saturday, 8 May 2004 00:15 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.littlegerman.com/images/littlegerman_lesson_vis.jpg

Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Saturday, 8 May 2004 00:33 (twenty-one years ago)

I lived in Germany for three years when I was little, from age 2-5. Good candy.

latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 8 May 2004 02:12 (twenty-one years ago)

i would like to go back for, like, two weeks and see the things that i did not see when i was there. like freiberg-am-breisgau or the harz mountains.

Eisbär (llamasfur), Saturday, 8 May 2004 14:35 (twenty-one years ago)

I had a date with a german teacher recently, and told her this joke. I will tell it to you phonetically.

Me: Mine hunt hat kinda nazzi.
Her: Vee reeked hair?
Me: Shrecklick.

She didn't find it funny, since as I don't speak German, I managed to sport the worst german accent since Allo Allo. Apparently the verb and noun for "smell" are completly different in German as well. Damn puns.

Johnney B, Saturday, 8 May 2004 15:34 (twenty-one years ago)

: (

geeta (geeta), Saturday, 8 May 2004 19:36 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.crossmyt.com/hc/linghebr/awfgrmlg.html

Eisbär (llamasfur), Sunday, 9 May 2004 02:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Du stinkst wie 'n Pumakäfik.

Danke 'n Scheiss, hinterhältiger Sohn einer klapprigen Scheissnutte.

Hat man dir mal ins Gehirn geschissen und vergessen umzurühren?

Ihre Mutter ist wie ein Staubsauger: sie saugt, bläst und landet dann im Wandschrank.

Ich steche Dir die Augen raus und pisse dir ins Gehirn, du kleines schwules Arschloch!

Eisbär (llamasfur), Sunday, 9 May 2004 03:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Ich steche Dir die Augen raus und pisse dir ins Gehirn, du kleines schwules Arschloch!

Wow.

VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Sunday, 9 May 2004 03:22 (twenty-one years ago)

but it's educational!

Eisbär (llamasfur), Sunday, 9 May 2004 03:26 (twenty-one years ago)

leck mich am Arsch!

Eisbär (llamasfur), Sunday, 9 May 2004 23:46 (twenty-one years ago)

What come between fear and sex?

funf

Michael White (Hereward), Monday, 10 May 2004 20:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Im french and i really like germans, i think germany is a great country (perhaps the most civilisated in the world) and Berlin, where i spent my last holidays is just fantastic!
And i do watch arte tv which is an amazing germano-french tv
Vive l allemagne...!

olivier De versailly, Saturday, 15 May 2004 13:42 (twenty-one years ago)

a crazy german tv producer couldn't stop hugging me last night!

s1ocki (slutsky), Saturday, 15 May 2004 15:35 (twenty-one years ago)

leck mich am Arsch!

You show-off, quoting Mozart like that.

OleM (OleM), Saturday, 15 May 2004 15:41 (twenty-one years ago)

this thread hurts me in my heart!

geeta (geeta), Saturday, 15 May 2004 22:05 (twenty-one years ago)

We had a German guy stay over once and he brushed his teeth with salt. He kept a little shaker on the sink.

roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Saturday, 15 May 2004 22:08 (twenty-one years ago)

one year passes...
this thread is a thing of beauty!

Eisbär (llamasfur), Saturday, 25 March 2006 20:20 (nineteen years ago)

I agree. For my birthday tomorrow I think I'd like to go to Lederhosen in the West Village. Bratwurst and v. cheap beer. What could be better?.

paulhw (paulhw), Saturday, 25 March 2006 21:40 (nineteen years ago)

a crazy german tv producer couldn't stop hugging me last night!

-- s1ocki (parrisactava...), May 15th, 2004 12:35 PM. (slutsky)

i can barely remember what i was talking about here

s1ocki (slutsky), Saturday, 25 March 2006 21:45 (nineteen years ago)

Germany owes me one jacket, scarf and toque.

Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Sunday, 26 March 2006 00:02 (nineteen years ago)

seven years pass...

We love Germans

Bees Against Racism (Tom D.), Thursday, 23 May 2013 09:58 (twelve years ago)

six years pass...

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/feb/05/centre-right-german-parties-vote-with-afd-to-oust-thuringia-premier-bodo-ramelow

toilet-cleaning brain surgeon (pomenitul), Wednesday, 5 February 2020 16:22 (five years ago)

Fishhook strikes again

hyds (gyac), Wednesday, 5 February 2020 16:23 (five years ago)

_Fourteen months ago, the FDP walked out of federal coalition talks with the CDU and the Greens, citing red lines and compromised principles._

Ah yes, “it is better not to govern than to govern wrong” were Lindner’s words back then.

oder doch?, Wednesday, 5 February 2020 21:13 (five years ago)

so is there anywhere left on the planet where far right wing parties aren't making life miserable for all

ill fuckin put a paste on those (Neanderthal), Thursday, 6 February 2020 01:11 (five years ago)

There's no place in the developed world where the working class hasn't been harmed by lower cost labor from the developing world. So long as the Left doesn't offer responses to this supply-demand dynamic, indeed is actively hostile to responses, the nativist/antitrade populists will gain.

Hval's electric toothbrush (Sanpaku), Thursday, 6 February 2020 03:09 (five years ago)


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