Wedding Present

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

*BIG BREATH IN* OH WHY DO YOU...

No. I'm a lazy man and I want suggestions on what's proper in terms of amount to spend and (as i am rubbish friend) what to get at all. I reckon 80 dollars is about right, but god knows what. (It's an old friend getting married -- we lived in same shared house for about 2 years, then he moved back to NY and I've seen him on and off for the last 6 years odd, not for 2 years though.)

Also, what great and rubbish wedding presents have you given/received?

― Alan (Alan), Wednesday, 2 October 2002 14:50 (twenty-three years ago)

Last month we got THREE! FUCKING! CHEESE KNIVES! OF VARYING DEGREES OF QUIRKINESS!

― Sam (chirombo), Wednesday, 2 October 2002 14:59 (twenty-three years ago)

*BIG BREATH IN* OH WHY DO YOU...

I will now be of no help to your question. *hums softly to self*

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 2 October 2002 15:01 (twenty-three years ago)

SO don't buy cheese knives. One of my friends drew a total blank and got me a Noam Chomsky book as a kind of random offering.

― Sam (chirombo), Wednesday, 2 October 2002 15:01 (twenty-three years ago)

Mmm cheese (it is also good for headaches). Buy them some cheese Alan.

― Sarah (starry), Wednesday, 2 October 2002 15:04 (twenty-three years ago)

80 dollars of cheese? that's an enormous octuple gloucester

― Alan (Alan), Wednesday, 2 October 2002 15:05 (twenty-three years ago)

yeah spend about 30-50 quid, or whatever you can afford. and get VOUCHERS MAN (easy to carry innit). or if that's too impersonal, ask if they have a wedding list. otherwise FANCY FOOD AND BOUZE. cookbooks and pans if they like cooking. fancy glasses. bed linen. i got my FOUR LOTS OF FRIENDS WHO GOT MARRIED THIS YEAR GRRR some stuff off the lists plus some gorgeous olive oil, some spaghetti jars and kitchen storage stuff, john lewis vouchers and made all their wedding invitations for them respectively.

― katie (katie), Wednesday, 2 October 2002 15:05 (twenty-three years ago)

I KNOW!!!

― Sarah (starry), Wednesday, 2 October 2002 15:06 (twenty-three years ago)

What's the etiquette for second marriages?

― Alfie (Alfie), Wednesday, 2 October 2002 15:13 (twenty-three years ago)

(er my comment was to alang!)

― Sarah (starry), Wednesday, 2 October 2002 15:17 (twenty-three years ago)

i thought this thread was on the band!

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Wednesday, 2 October 2002 15:54 (twenty-three years ago)

Refer to the opening comment, Julio. ;-)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 2 October 2002 15:58 (twenty-three years ago)

serious response: do you know if the couple-to-be have a gift list already prepared? (this is fairly common nowadays, and often it's managed by a third party who ensures duplicate gifts are avoided.) If you don't know, it is not a faux pas etiquette-wise to ask them.

― Jeff W (Jeff W), Wednesday, 2 October 2002 16:04 (twenty-three years ago)

HAHA, SEEING AS WE RECENTLY HAVE GOTTEN A BUNCH OF THINGS I'LL GO AHEAD.

WE REGISTERED FOR A LOT AND GOT ALMOST ALL OF IT. NONE OF IT WAS MORE THAN $150.

ALTHOUGH PEOPLE SOMETIMES CHOOSE TO BUY THINGS OFF OF THE REGISTRY SO WE ENDED UP WITH A TIFFANY VASE AND A $500 SET OF CHEFS KNIVES WHICH WERE TOTALLY UNEXPECTED. MY BEER MUGS AND PILSNER GLASSES WERE THE BEST GIFT.

WORST WAS A PORCELAIN VASE WITH REALLY TACKY BUTTERFLIES ON IT WITH JEWELS (NOT REAL). NOT ON ANY OF OUR REGISTRIES.

FROM WEDDINGS I'VE BEEN TO AND BEEN IN USUALLY THE AVERAGE AMOUNT $$ WISE TO GIVE IS AROUND $100.

HERES THE UGLY VASE (BUT IT IS THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS)

― Chris V. (Chris V), Wednesday, 2 October 2002 16:27 (twenty-three years ago)

Is cheese really gd for headaches?

― Andrew L (Andrew L), Wednesday, 2 October 2002 16:28 (twenty-three years ago)

I like to give things off the registry that don't break. I like to imagine the silver platter I gave the happy couple being the sole survivor of a collision with the Staffordshire mantelpiece spaniels after a spousal argument. Then they pick up the platter, think of me, and remember how lucky they are to have found each other.

― felicity (felicity), Wednesday, 2 October 2002 16:53 (twenty-three years ago)

We got a toilet seat at our wedding along with the regulation pots/pans/toasters etc

i thought about them every time I used it.

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Wednesday, 2 October 2002 17:54 (twenty-three years ago)

My mum always says it's bad luck to buy knives as a gift, especially as a wedding gift. Get vouchers, it's safest.

― Plinky (Plinky), Wednesday, 2 October 2002 18:06 (twenty-three years ago)

how about a gamecube? It's a gift I'd like to get, and you know, playing games together is the sign of a happy marriage.

― jel -- (jel), Wednesday, 2 October 2002 18:25 (twenty-three years ago)

the best gift we got was a glass bowl which a friend hand-painted with a picasso-ish wedding couple, it was cool, personal and no one else got the same thing!
another good gift is one of those expensive picnic basket sets with blankets/plates/wine glasses etc etc.

― donna (donna), Wednesday, 2 October 2002 20:27 (twenty-three years ago)

Does the person have a registry anywhere? Generally anything off the registry is nice. Failing that, why not a gift certificate for Amazon or some other place they might like? I know I would have liked that.

Whatever you do, DO NOT give them creepy Precious Moments figurines. I still do not know what I'm going to do with this thing, it is at the back of my closet. I know it's the thought that counts, but Precious Moments in general just baffles me.

― Nicole (Nicole), Wednesday, 2 October 2002 20:33 (twenty-three years ago)

registries are v. v. excellent - do not ignore this simple and obvious way to make people happy.
kitchen items are always good (ie cuisinarts, espresso machines), but don't get anything that's too much of a personal taste item, because theirs and yours will invariably never match up. also i second ktee on the FANCY BOUZE option. i want to get married in the hopes that someone will buy me some single-malt scotch (since i'm too cheap to buy it for myself).

― Dave M. (rotten03), Wednesday, 2 October 2002 22:37 (twenty-three years ago)

How about a French Coffee Press for that quick-pick-me-up-hand-job first thing in the morning. Surely it is what every newlywed desires most. ;-)

― ragnfild (ragnfild), Thursday, 3 October 2002 00:28 (twenty-three years ago)

When in doubt, hit the registry. Failing that, a crystal anything (bowl, vase, platter) will almost always be appreciated.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 3 October 2002 02:41 (twenty-three years ago)

buy them a zebra

― Josh (Josh), Thursday, 3 October 2002 02:44 (twenty-three years ago)

zelda is lonely

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 3 October 2002 03:05 (twenty-three years ago)

speaking from sad experience vouchers are the best, at least you can buy things for yourself and pretend you bought house things!

― Madam Plinky (Madam Plinky), Thursday, 3 October 2002 14:22 (twenty-three years ago)

two years pass...

I have a deeply, deeply shameful confession to make. After getting married two years ago, I never sent out thank you notes to anyone. We bought the cards and everything, but then I sat around and found myself completely unable to fill them out. In retrospect "thank you for the lovely blender" seems like the most simple thing in the world to think of, but at the time nothing at all came to mind.
It's been two years and I still feel guilt whenever I see a member of my extended family. There's no way I can set it right, and whenever it crosses my mind I feel like an honestly horrible person for the rest of the day.

― Dan I. (Dan I.), Thursday, 27 January 2005 07:15 (twenty years ago)

I used to try to fool myself into thinking that people wouldn't mind, or that they wouldn't even think of it (both would be true of me if I had been at the receiving end of this offense, but apparently I'm not normal), but after seeing things like this I know how important it is to most people and how deep my sin was.

― Dan I. (Dan I.), Thursday, 27 January 2005 07:20 (twenty years ago)

Hey I never sent out thankyou cards either. I thanked people personally but apparently that wasn't enough. Some of my rellies apparently think I am crap now because I didn't bother with this act of social decency....and I still don't care.

― papa november (papa november), Thursday, 27 January 2005 07:23 (twenty years ago)

I wish I didn't care. I'm going to go to my grave feeling like shit about this. And then one of my aunts will spit on it, and say "that little son of a bitch never sent me a thank you card after his wedding".

― Dan I. (Dan I.), Thursday, 27 January 2005 07:25 (twenty years ago)

Man, let it go. Life's too short etc etc.

― papa november (papa november), Thursday, 27 January 2005 07:27 (twenty years ago)

I only found out a few days ago that Gedge has been a neighbor of mine for years.

― donut christ (donut), Thursday, 27 January 2005 07:28 (twenty years ago)

(oh shit, thought this was ILM.. apologies.. mods, you can delete these two posts now.)

― donut christ (donut), Thursday, 27 January 2005 07:29 (twenty years ago)

Oh god that wedding ettiquite site is HORRIBLE! The fact people actually get *angry* about so called protocol not being followed at weddings is the reason I will never marry - I cant bear the thought of all these relatives I couldnt give a flying fsck about expeting things to be done a certain way when they have nothing to do with me. Ugh ugh.

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 27 January 2005 07:37 (twenty years ago)

The only reasonable present is clearly a karaoke machine

― Matt (Matt), Thursday, 27 January 2005 07:41 (twenty years ago)

or maybe a milkshake maker

― gem (trisk), Thursday, 27 January 2005 07:43 (twenty years ago)

My in-laws think I am a scary bitchfaced feminist from hell, so they were too scared to tell me what to do regarding my wedding. I wish someone had told me that a hot pink sari was not the best choice for a wedding gown though.

xx-post

― papa november (papa november), Thursday, 27 January 2005 07:44 (twenty years ago)

but that sounds like a cool choice for a wedding gown? much nicer than the hideous winter white satin monstrosity my sister-in-law wore which was cut down to her navel so you could see a bit too much sagging breast. eerrrr tasteful NOT.

― gem (trisk), Thursday, 27 January 2005 07:46 (twenty years ago)

Hahaha, that sounds pretty bad.

I guess it was different, but despite the fact I know I wouldn't have worn white no matter what, fushia wasn't such a great move.

― papa november (papa november), Thursday, 27 January 2005 07:57 (twenty years ago)

fair enough. it sounds pretty cool though.

and my sister-in-law, poor girl, i think she thought it was the height of fashion, and my brother thought she looked gorgeous, so that's the main thing. but my mum doesn't like showing the photos to anyone, and mum's not really a prude or anything.

― gem (trisk), Thursday, 27 January 2005 08:00 (twenty years ago)

I am now going to think of things to do/wear at my wedding which will cause my mum not to show photos to anyone. That would be my dream.

We're not having a wedding list. Some people I know just asked for money and also had a collection box at the reception, which seems crass but actually tempting. Considering we've lived together for 3 years and already have all the appliances and ornaments and shit we want. But money for a honeymoon or the deposit on a flat? Would be nice.

If you're really worried about thank you notes, Dan, just write some now. Say that although it's been a long time, you want to say how much continuing pleasure their gifts are giving you. If you can't bring yourself to do that then the only thing is to forget it.

― Archel (Archel), Thursday, 27 January 2005 09:58 (twenty years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.