Internet banner (and other) ads you never want to see again, ever

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http://global.msads.net/ads/HOTENG/009407570008_PP.jpg

I see this ad every other time I go to check on Hotmail and in the hundreds of times I've had to view it I've come to the conclusion that one's morning commute would have to involve slamming into a bridge abuttment for the tagline to be accurate.

Oh well, at least it doesn't flash rapidly.

― Nate Patrin, Wednesday, 2 October 2002 21:15 (twenty-three years ago)

New monkey-punching answers here.

― Nate Patrin, Wednesday, 2 October 2002 23:33 (twenty-three years ago)

Playboy ads at The Onion, can't read at work :(

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Wednesday, 2 October 2002 23:39 (twenty-three years ago)

Classmates.com and those little spy cameras!

― Kim (Kim), Thursday, 3 October 2002 01:11 (twenty-three years ago)

Those Goddamn hipster personal ads that popup on 90% of the websites I check out.

― James Blount (James Blount), Thursday, 3 October 2002 01:59 (twenty-three years ago)

Online Casinos.

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Thursday, 3 October 2002 02:04 (twenty-three years ago)

The people in those personal ads really don't look like people who would need to write personal ads. Does anyone really all for the scam?
At least punching monkeys is fun, and may have some relevance to real life

― Sofa King Alternative (Sofa King Alternative), Thursday, 3 October 2002 07:09 (twenty-three years ago)

all of them.

― g-kit (g-kit), Thursday, 3 October 2002 09:55 (twenty-three years ago)

http://bidclix.net/pics/sidebar-blinking-woman.gif

― Jody Beth Rosen, Wednesday, 16 October 2002 21:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Except in the pop-up her eyes blink.

― Jody Beth Rosen, Wednesday, 16 October 2002 21:27 (twenty-two years ago)

AGH AGH AGH MAKE IT STOP

(Translation: I think the blinking-eyes are working here, too)

― Nate Patrin, Wednesday, 16 October 2002 21:48 (twenty-two years ago)

She looks like Mary Tyler Moore with Kate Pierson's hair.

― Jody Beth Rosen, Wednesday, 16 October 2002 22:04 (twenty-two years ago)

That's a fusion that should never have been contemplated.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 17 October 2002 14:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Any banners that said "YOU WIN!!! CLICK HERE!!!"

When I first starting going online (it seems so very long ago...), I was suckered by those ads - and also the ones where you play games to win money... so sad. Such a waste of life... So very, very sad...

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Thursday, 17 October 2002 14:07 (twenty-two years ago)

if they piss you off then just block them...

either using a huge 'hosts' file (see http://smartin-designs.com/ - doesn't work on Win2000 though)
or with a proxy server (Naviscope on Windows is nice)
or by using Mozilla, and right-clicking on images and choosing 'ban images from this server'. Mozilla also has pop-up ad blocking which is nice.

― michael (michael), Thursday, 17 October 2002 14:41 (twenty-two years ago)

two years pass...

http://img16.paintedover.com/uploads/16/centipedes.jpg

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 21:15 (twenty years ago)

Hahahaha!

― kate/thank you friendly cloud (papa november), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 21:31 (twenty years ago)

I hope Dan sees this.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 22:02 (twenty years ago)

robble

― BOATPEOPLEHATEFUCK (ex machina), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 22:12 (twenty years ago)

I'm going to keep bumping until Dan Perry sees this!

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 22:40 (twenty years ago)

what the hell

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 23:02 (twenty years ago)

I could seriously die a happy man now.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 31 March 2005 22:05 (twenty years ago)

Any for smilies.

Especially the retarded two-frame animated one, like where there's one panting on a toilet.

― Sasha (sgh), Friday, 1 April 2005 01:33 (twenty years ago)

Pretty much anything on allmusic.com in general, actually. The smilies, the stretchy pig, the horrifying corpse-colored moon-eyed gaping-mawed Jamster thing in the aviator's helmet. Burn it all. Send it to hell.

― Stupornaut (natepatrin), Friday, 1 April 2005 04:02 (twenty years ago)

Muftipedes?

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 1 April 2005 04:05 (twenty years ago)

http://andrewteman.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/mcd1.gif

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 1 April 2005 04:06 (twenty years ago)

that fat kid in the orbitz ad?!?

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 1 April 2005 04:17 (twenty years ago)

http://graphics1.sextracker.com/amateur/small/6.gif

― Remy Ulysses Fitzgerald (x Jeremy), Friday, 1 April 2005 04:21 (twenty years ago)

At least he's not fucking a hamburger.

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 1 April 2005 04:23 (twenty years ago)

Tracking your own sex?

"oooh that cock o' mine, he's been off out on the pull again"

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 1 April 2005 04:25 (twenty years ago)

buttsex tracker

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 1 April 2005 04:27 (twenty years ago)

― tehresa (tehresa), Friday, 1 April 2005 04:33 (twenty years ago)

Is she dying of hipness? That's a shame.

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 1 April 2005 04:38 (twenty years ago)

yes it is a very catching disease!

― tehresa (tehresa), Friday, 1 April 2005 04:40 (twenty years ago)

god i hate that one.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Friday, 1 April 2005 04:40 (twenty years ago)

Jesus I can't believe they pulled those poor people out of the fashion hospital just to shoot those ads.

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 1 April 2005 04:41 (twenty years ago)

Looks like somebody needs to disconnect THAT guy's feeding tube.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Friday, 1 April 2005 04:42 (twenty years ago)

i think fatty on the right there needs a little less feeding tube and a little more protruding hip bone... i am not seeing the hipness.

― tehresa (tehresa), Friday, 1 April 2005 04:42 (twenty years ago)

WAVELENGTH

― tehresa (tehresa), Friday, 1 April 2005 04:43 (twenty years ago)

haw

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Friday, 1 April 2005 04:43 (twenty years ago)

two years pass...

http://i7.tinypic.com/4d2afrq.png
http://i14.tinypic.com/4822q1t.png

Naturally I had to do it...first he wets himself, and then barfs all over the Nanos. wtf?

― musically, Friday, 6 April 2007 06:39 (eighteen years ago)

haw

-- roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Thursday, March 31, 2005 11:43 PM (2 years ago)

― JW, Friday, 6 April 2007 06:45 (eighteen years ago)

two years pass...

http://a.ads2.msn.com/CIS/102/000/000/000/002/338.jpg
http://a.ads2.msn.com/CIS/102/000/000/000/002/338.jpg
http://a.ads2.msn.com/CIS/102/000/000/000/002/338.jpg

― mark cl, Tuesday, 24 November 2009 13:34 (fifteen years ago)

The one about how to get white teeth without dental treatment, discovered by A MOM.

― viagra falls (suzy), Tuesday, 24 November 2009 13:36 (fifteen years ago)

yeah. I guess I really don't understand how internet advertising works because I don't know how that, along with the ones about losing your 100lbs of belly mass in five days or whatever, can be EVERYWHERE.

Also lately, not appreciating the ads that take seemingly a peek into my history and recommend that I buy things I've been viewing (mainly with ASOS, I think).

― FC Tom Tomsk Club (Merdeyeux), Tuesday, 24 November 2009 13:40 (fifteen years ago)

yea seriously - how are companies for muscle gain / teeth whitening / weight loss / etc able to afford adspace, like, everywhere? don't really understand it either

― mark cl, Tuesday, 24 November 2009 13:47 (fifteen years ago)

btw

http://a.ads2.msn.com/CIS/4/000/000/000/002/512.gif
http://a.ads2.msn.com/CIS/4/000/000/000/002/512.gif
http://a.ads2.msn.com/CIS/4/000/000/000/002/512.gif

― mark cl, Tuesday, 24 November 2009 13:48 (fifteen years ago)

Kinda surprised -- but maybe I shouldn't be -- that the image in the opening post (from 7 years ago) still shows up.

― Nuyorican oatmeal (jaymc), Tuesday, 24 November 2009 13:59 (fifteen years ago)

'Come Play, My Lord'

― Space Battle Rothko (Matt DC), Tuesday, 24 November 2009 14:09 (fifteen years ago)

http://d13.zedo.com/OzoDB/b/2/685297/V2/300x250_b23v14anib.gif

This is just a guy sticking his belly out.

― grobravara hollaglob (dowd), Tuesday, 24 November 2009 14:28 (fifteen years ago)

ONE RULE... OBEY

― armed with swords and hash (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Tuesday, 24 November 2009 15:40 (fifteen years ago)

badly animated running chix gifs

― bitter about emo (Hunt3r), Tuesday, 24 November 2009 16:01 (fifteen years ago)

That popup with the smileys that yell "OMIGOD!" is the worst thing ever

― Race Against Rockism (Myonga Vön Bontee), Tuesday, 24 November 2009 23:43 (fifteen years ago)

All of the "Obama asks X to Y" adds

― Bay-L.A. Bar Talk (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 25 November 2009 02:06 (fifteen years ago)

All of these are annoying, but whoever designed the "guys, don't smoke pot" ad that murmurs very quietly, too quietly to notice for quite some time if you've got music on or the volume low, with text insinuating that perhaps you are imagining things because drugs are a terrifying gateway into psychosis: well done on reaching a whole new level of evil

― subtyll cauillacyons (a passing spacecadet), Wednesday, 25 November 2009 14:38 (fifteen years ago)

"HI I'M SHAY!!!"

― so says surgeon snoball (snoball), Wednesday, 25 November 2009 15:01 (fifteen years ago)

http://14.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_krk8p6B8PW1qzb952o1_250.jpg

― 311 is a joek (s1ocki), Wednesday, 25 November 2009 15:34 (fifteen years ago)

http://www.marinshakespeare.org/pages/images/2000Merchant/MVlb_of_flesh.jpg

― antexit, Wednesday, 25 November 2009 16:03 (fifteen years ago)

lol @ "1 Tip of a flat belly"

― I wanna take a ride on your disco duck (Curt1s Stephens), Wednesday, 25 November 2009 16:39 (fifteen years ago)

that weird old tip

― 311 is a joek (s1ocki), Wednesday, 25 November 2009 17:12 (fifteen years ago)

That secret to teeth whitening as discovered BY A MOM confuses and frightens me a little. Sometimes multiple iterations of that ad featuring different pictures of discolored teeth (or white teeth eating a sugar cube) appeared stacked on top of each other in a particular side bar and I will sit and stare at the ads and try to figure out the secret based on the pictures of teeth. I mean, is it eating sugar cubes??? Is that what the secret is?

― she is writing about love (Jenny), Wednesday, 25 November 2009 22:54 (fifteen years ago)

one year passes...

I don't even

http://img39.imageshack.us/img39/2654/screenshot20110112at159.png

― http://tinyurl.com/MO-02011 (Pleasant Plains), Wednesday, 12 January 2011 20:01 (fourteen years ago)

55,795 people like Tostitos.

― normal_fantasy-unicorns (contenderizer), Wednesday, 12 January 2011 20:06 (fourteen years ago)

we can be like they are

― http://tinyurl.com/MO-02011 (Pleasant Plains), Wednesday, 12 January 2011 20:14 (fourteen years ago)

Those ads that said "interest rates at an all time low" were wonderfully bizarre. They would usually feature some woman dancing, but they eventually started to get very weird, like one had a clip of a young Ozzy Osbourne freaking out (or something like that), some were sped up a ridiculous amount, some had skeletons...I always wondered who made those and what they were trying to convey.

― frogbs, Wednesday, 12 January 2011 20:25 (fourteen years ago)

Anything featuring toenails or teeth. Just stop.

― WARS OF ARMAGEDDON (Karaoke Version) (Sparkle Motion), Wednesday, 12 January 2011 20:27 (fourteen years ago)

http://img442.imageshack.us/img442/1065/screenshot20110112at230.png

I assume these work for the same reasons why you still get spam in your inbox: There are enough people out there who actually click on these things to make them continue to be profitable.

― http://tinyurl.com/MO-02011 (Pleasant Plains), Wednesday, 12 January 2011 20:32 (fourteen years ago)

Obey this one trick
Obey this one trick
Obey this one trick
Obey this one trick
Obey this one trick
Obey this one trick
Obey this one trick
Obey this one trick
Obey this one trick
Obey this one trick

― http://tinyurl.com/MO-02011 (Pleasant Plains), Wednesday, 12 January 2011 20:33 (fourteen years ago)

Thats just bizarre - "your auto insurer HATES this"..."your dermatologist is SCARED"....is "sticking it to the man" that big a draw??

― frogbs, Wednesday, 12 January 2011 20:37 (fourteen years ago)

I saw a poster on the bus yesterday that made me furious. It said "IRS making you want to join the NRA?"

― polyphonic, Wednesday, 12 January 2011 20:38 (fourteen years ago)

three months pass...

http://www.projectwonderful.com/img/uploads/pics/22694-1302222514.jpg

http://images.tcj.com/2011/03/Ad-Mad-300x2502.jpg

― muus lääv? :D muus dut :( (Telephone thing), Tuesday, 12 April 2011 03:47 (fourteen years ago)

waht the fuck

― dell (del), Tuesday, 12 April 2011 04:02 (fourteen years ago)

Ah you dummies,
What a massive
programm!

― Z S, Tuesday, 12 April 2011 04:03 (fourteen years ago)

The worst banner ad ever has got to be this one for McDonalds. It was only online for a few hours in 2003 or thereabouts, and has become a textbook example of why it's important to learn the meaning of slang terms before using them in an attempt to be hip:

(note: the three images below rotated every few seconds)

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/127/335428743_132f6dcb3c.jpg

I don't know about you, but I wouldn't hit that.... or for that matter, even eat that...

― Lee626, Tuesday, 12 April 2011 04:10 (fourteen years ago)

lol you Americans are so close-minded

― dell (del), Tuesday, 12 April 2011 04:18 (fourteen years ago)

can't find the 'i'd go down on those meatflaps' jpg :(

― barbara of seville (electricsound), Tuesday, 12 April 2011 04:22 (fourteen years ago)

the two minute trick to get rid of wrinkles that your mother knows and your skin doctor is scared of because you are rich and he won't get your stupid money

― jay lenonononono (abanana), Tuesday, 12 April 2011 04:24 (fourteen years ago)

omg the tostitos thing

― Matt Armstrong, Tuesday, 12 April 2011 04:33 (fourteen years ago)

two years pass...

http://i.imgur.com/nVzS3MT.png

― pplains, Monday, 22 April 2013 12:03 (twelve years ago)

Mmph!

― pplains, Monday, 22 April 2013 12:04 (twelve years ago)

Hate everything from Taboola so much.

― Thirty-Six Views of ILX, by Mari3sa (WilliamC), Monday, 22 April 2013 12:09 (twelve years ago)

I'm not going to link to it, but it usually pops up on filestube or 4shared or something like that, where there's a teenage girl dancing in jeans then stripping down and giving you a little flash of butthole. Really don't need that ever.

― how's life, Monday, 22 April 2013 12:17 (twelve years ago)

wow pplains i was just going to post that

― love's secret borad (clouds), Monday, 22 April 2013 12:40 (twelve years ago)

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