What Matters to You?

I've been thinking about this a lot. I'm not sure what the answer is, but I'm interested in ppl's specific responses. Not like vague handwaving about how what matters changes or is in flux (tho nihilists are welcome to point out that nothing matters). Some answers that I imagine resonate w/ ilxors are things like 'art' (creating/experiencing), or maybe 'social justice' matters. Some answers I've considered that might not be so popular on ilx are things like 'religion/worship,' maybe 'professional success,' 'wealth creation?' I feel like I have a genetic imperative to reproduce my specific gene code so maybe that's what matters? Family? Family feels really important to me, but that can lead to stuff like tribalism, jingoism - is that the stuff that matters? Is it community + friends? Do those matter?

Is it something simple - like an affect? Does being happy matter? I used to think that all that mattered was being happy, but now I'm not even sure what being happy means. Is it a euphoric feeling? Is all that matters achieving a level of euphoria? Now I think maybe all that matters in terms of affect is feeling contented, a sense of well-being and okayness. An absence of anxiety. But surely that depends a lot on coincidences of time + place (and brain chemistry).

What matters to you? What is worth doing? What are the things that have value?

Yeah, pretty much.

Friends matter to me as much as family. 'Having a network', I guess, of people you can rely on but you know can rely on you - I think that's one of the reasons I like living.

Fighting apathy too, that's very important. I fight apathy all the time, apart from if I can't be bothered.

this seems an awful lot like "where do you see yourself in five years" in that formulating a ready response that is honest enough to be sincere and hireable but not so honest as to be insulting would be really tricky.

i don't really know tbh. i guess, food, my dog..... from there i'm drawing a blank

I believe that life and liberty are absolutely items every man, woman and child should be afforded.

I waiver on the whole "pursuit of happiness" part though. I don't think it should be an inalienable right.

creative expression, a constant stream of new but manageable challenges, lots of time with people that matter to me, professional independence, some level of success and recognition from my peers

to me happiness comes from a mixture of the things that are important to me, it's not a thing that exists on its own

its like a moving target

It's like a silver eel swimming in a barrel of black eels, that's what it is.

I may have some issues, but you know what? So did the guy who wrote that grocery list in the first place.

For me happiness is my family, money, and steady employment. Everything else is possible with those three in place.

food, my dog.....

you're on the right board anyway

knowledge and cultivating loving kindness are the most important things to me.

this seems an awful lot like "where do you see yourself in five years" in that formulating a ready response that is honest enough to be sincere and hireable but not so honest as to be insulting would be really tricky.

I'm more interested in the insulting answer. I'm not doing any hiring based on the answers in this thread.

Sensitivity, thoughtfulness, care. I guess I value these in that I constantly feel that I'm falling short with respect to them. They feel to me like states of being that we're always losing and always have to re-achieve.

my body, my pad, my ride, my family, my church, my boys, my girls, my porn

is it important to be happy? is it important to create something that outlasts your brief time on this planet? if a novel were to be written concerning the most important things that matter the most - what would that novel be about?

Someone out there is hiring based on the answers to this thread...

serious answer: i think connection to other human beings through real relationships, support, intimacy, community, and creativity matter to me. connection to nature and wilderness does, too.

does creating art matter?

y

as I get older, I understand the need for "something that outlasts your brief time" imperative more - but it also seems more ridiculous and grandiose

creating art matters to me very much. having said that, all art is fraud

I have zero artist talent. I use to try but eventually I had to admit to myself that I will never be an artist or writer.

engagement with the other

I think the easiest way to determine what things truly matter to you is to have them taken away, and for most people the loss felt wouldn't necessarily be commensurate with things they intellectually accept are important.

disagree

maria and the kids and art and records and trees and birds. and movies that are described as adrenaline-fueled thrill rides. and food. that's about it. though i guess the movies can just be lumped in with "art". oh okay, and my brother and my mother and my father. fine, and my FRIENDS. but that's IT. mostly records though.

my children >>> other people i love > people i care about > humanity > the cosmos > "wisdom" > "experience"

but not really hierarchical, with all sorts of caveats and cross-references, except for my children as perma-top i think

Painting nails
Organizing women
Being in community

Not sure what matters to me, I only realize more frequently how many things don't.

i'd think more people would live more like ascetics if things that didn't matter didn't still matter to them.

i think there's a fair bit of wriggle room between "this matters" and "i enjoy this"

i'd agree if there weren't a global marketplace where you could exchange things you merely enjoy for, say, vaccines and food for humanity etc...

my own personal instant gratification, calling everyone else on their bullshit, making them laugh if possible while doing so if my own gratification at that moment calls for a pretence at society, boobs

fuck all these days

This thread strays perilously close to NPR's series of Just Folks sharing their deep thoughts, called This I Believe.

bring us back to something real + authentic, aimless. does anything matter?

nihilists are welcome to point out that nothing matters

if something or everything mattered i can easily imagine that turning into a nightmare. if my life, or some aspect of my life, matters in some way im probably fucking it up big time. not sure i want the stakes that high.

on the positive side, i think it's important to remember that the distinction between something mattering and not mattering is a flexible one that i can shift (or will be shifted for me). nihilism can be dangerous but it's also a pretty profound tool for remaking your life and mentality.

i was discussing w/ my wife last night that when i write fiction i feel very frustrated w/ myself bc i have a sense that there are things that matter being written about, but that i lack access to them through creative expression and that everything i create doesn't matter. does anyone else have this experience? it has essentially led to a state of complete creative paralysis. i keep waiting to get older and wiser and figure shit out and then maybe i'll figure out what really matters.

in response i was just gonna quote Emerson's line "heed thy private dream" but i looked it up and now i have to post the whole thing:

Life itself is a bubble and a skepticism, and a sleep within a sleep. Grant it, and as much more as they will, — but thou, God's darling! heed thy private dream: thou wilt not be missed in the scorning and skepticism: there are enough of them: stay there in thy closet, and toil, until the rest are agreed what to do about it. Thy sickness, they say, and thy puny habit, require that thou do this or avoid that, but know that thy life is a flitting state, a tent for a night, and do thou, sick or well, finish that stint. Thou art sick, but shalt not be worse, and the universe, which holds thee dear, shall be the better.

i think "matters to you" and "matters" are slipperily different here in what they connote

xp kicked my ass

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/8/80/Nothin_matters_and_what_if_it_did.JPG

The universe called me into existance for reasons that are quite opaque to me. In some sense it must have needed me to happen, but why this is so I cannot fathom.

In the meantime, my family matters to me quite a bit because I know them so well and love them, and compassion towards others in their suffering matters, and those brief moments of transcendence that catch me unawares. My health matters to me, mainly because ill health is very unpleasant and I become impatient with it all too quickly. If that keeps up I'll be hell to be around in my old age.

Comfort matters to me- thinking about this question in terms of 'what could you bear to do without' I think I could cope without family, creating art etc, but not without running water. I think losing my health would shatter me more than pretty much any of the other things in my life, if everyday getting up and looking after myself became a struggle I don't know if I'd have the strength of character to keep fighting. Also: time alone, being able to shut out the rest of the world for a least some of each day, I don't think I could cope without some level of privacy.

i like fitzgerald on, i guess, life, but which i apply to "happiness"; Life is essentially a cheat and its conditions are those of defeat; the redeeming things are not happiness and pleasure but the deeper satisfactions that come out of struggle.

appreciate the emerson v much, ryan

creating art matters to me very much. having said that, all art is fraud

― fresh (crüt), Tuesday, October 22, 2013 12:30 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Great answer. What matters most to me right now is making music. However, I continually struggle with reconciling the meaninglessness of what I do with the joy creation brings me.

making music is more meaningful than spending an hour looking for a lost pen. think of it that way.

no it isn't.

people make great sounds when they're looking for pens

yeah!

WHERE THE FUCK IS MY PEN

Jungle is massive, but my pen is huge...

Someone might want that pen