leaving a party without saying goodbye

generally stagger off without warning when i've had enough

this is weird. so weird.

but really if it's the kind of party where you'd need to find people to say goodbye then i don't see the point

never heard this called "the irish goodbye".

i'd refer to it as a houdini. i do this sometimes, mainly if the place is shit or i'm wasted or both.

I say goodbye to my friends first, but I kind of wish I didn't feel obliged to. Quite jealous of my mates who have mastered the stealth exit.

Though you get hugs and kisses if you say bye, which is always nice.

depends on the scene, but i used to do this all time

sometimes it's cos people were try and persuade you to stay, but plenty of the time it's like some really busy place with a rammed bar, everyone drunker than you, and you just drift off into the night.

xxxposts

1) usually if i'm dissatisfied with how the night is going: i'm out and i don't need to say goodbye. i'll see them again or i won't. hopefully next time they can work harder at making the night right. 2) too fucked up. usually drop a "i'll be right back," throw up in the elevator and take a taxi home / fall asleep in the backseat of my car.

usually it's a level of drunk where everybody is really in their own heads anyway and i want food/bed/air/oblivion

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snihdG1rE0Y

also i feel like pointedly saying bye-bye to everybody feels a bit attention ho-ey on the whole unless you're not going to see them for months

http://images.plixid.com/imager/w_500/h_/339d49edb8372b2bd7df9237bd09713d.jpg

also getting "yo dude where the fuck did u go?" texts and judging my worth based on how long it took after i left to receive.

Being in the habit of doing this can be a disadvantage - my friend who does it all the time vanished from a small house party on Saturday, and we were all like whatever (including his girlfriend) and didn't bother looking for him. Turned out he'd been locked out the flat without his phone and had to walk from Crouch End to Tufnell Park at 4 AM in the rain with only a t-shirt. Ha.

this is actually the biggest piece of party-anxiety for me. if it's a really big event, meaning like I went to a party with hundreds of people I vaguely knew, I'll slip out undetected into the night.

however, with most parties, which are usually a smaller group of my friends, I feel bad if I leave without saying goodbye (and have had friends give me razzing for it if I don't). I hate it though, I always feel like I have to wait for an appropriate break in the convo.

Sometimes I leave parties by causing a diversion (ie setting a fire in a trash can) and running the other way when everybody goes to look.

It's very rare that I'll leave w/o at least saying goodbye to the hosts

I'm elderly so most of the time, the parties I attend are small dinner parties/game night gatherings/what have you and saying goodbye to people when leaving involves a specific goodbye and thank you to the host, then standing in the door way and saying, "We're taking off! It was great to see you all!" However, this is quite right, I think:

sometimes it's cos people were try and persuade you to stay, but plenty of the time it's like some really busy place with a rammed bar, everyone drunker than you, and you just drift off into the night.

I do always tell somebody that I'm leaving, though, even if I don't make a big production of saying farewell, because if one of my female friends left a party without saying anything to anyone, I would worry immensely and I don't want to do that to anyone else.

this is the opposite of an irish goodbye, which lasts three minutes per person and that's if you're going to see the person again that week, anything more than a month and it's tears and hankies and you might write a letter to their parents thanking them for something, anything.

exiting on an elaborate song and dance number always an option

i usually say goodbye, but i've definitely done this. sometimes you just have to get out of there.

Oh, I've heard this called a "French Exit" as well as an "Irish Goodbye."

the times I tend to disappear without a trace are larger parties, mostly cuz the moment arrives where I'm sitting in a corner by myself, thinking too much and getting emo, and decide I'd rather be by myself so I just walk out.

worst is when you reach the door and someone says "OH YOU'RE LEAVING?" and then you either admit you were about to duck out or say "oh NAH, I was going to look for the rare Banana Splits .45 I had in my car real quick" and then feel obligated to stay longer

Is this the "aspie scram"?

one time i went outta my way to say goodbye to a couple hosting a party (knew the girl, not the guy) the boyfriend made one of those "no idea who you are" faces to his buddy after he thought i turned away. still pissed off about it 10+ years later.

i do the no goodbye at work now and it feels weird but everyone is wearing headphones and staring at their monitors so... /shrugs

"OH YOU'RE LEAVING?"

As you are opening and stepping through the door: "I am. I have to get up early/I'm just exhausted/there's a Saved by the Bell marathon starting in midnight. It was really good to see you, though. Tell everybody I said goodbye!" THEN RUN AWAY.

puking on their shoes, that works too

i don't think i've ever left without saying goodbye to anyone (got to thank your host and hug your friends, innit) -- sometimes when my goodbyes are dragging i worry that i'm doing it out of neediness, wanting to have people make a disappointed face and tell me they'll miss me, or treating it as a way of starting a new last-ditch set of conversations. But i'm not good at leaving in the first place, i'm all inertia.

a friend of mine's a master ghoster, will wander off to "get some air" and reappear a few days later. i'm kind of envious, it seems like a real skill.

i always want to do this but when i've tried it i was hit the next day with a bunch of "where the fuck did you go?"s

remember when you left ilx without telling anybody

had a small halloween bash at my flat on friday, bout 20-25 people there, I nipped out for a fag at about 2am, came back ten minutes later and...EVERYONE had gone. SPOOOOOKY!

are you sure you went back to your own flat?

xxxpost text back "I will answer you when you use language more befitting our Lord Jesus Christ"

oops didn't googleproof J3sus, get ready for googlers with Chick tracks in a day or two

I like saying goodbye, it extends time naturally if you don't REALLY want to leave, plus it's a chance to say a few words to the ppl you planned on talking to but never got around to because someone near you snagged a bottle of wine and started talking insider shit about some local production

i had one friend who'd developed ghosting into an artform, could be a gathering with five people and he'd still manage to slip off unnoticed.

tbh i usually take the third option of being the last person around, which avoids the anxieties involved in the other two. which adds its own anxieties + other problems.

I shut down parties on the reg but that is because I secretly may have a drinking problem

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_YrNQaXdOxU

i like when one person sees you ghosting and says nothing. like renton escaping at the end of trainspotting.

that upward head nod is the bro way to do it

i usually say thank you and goodbye to the host but not everyone i know there

http://achewood.com/index.php?date=11202007

why wouldnt you say goodbye you weirdos

and the classic ilx thread is complete

i do what i can

im away now folks cye

good night now

fuck, he was already gone

might go get a drink in the kitchen

crut otm

it's completely normal - everyone does it, that's why it has so many colloquialisms to describe it. most people i know would be more likely to make a joke of it, like it was an achievement, the next day.

otoh I'm notorious for semi ASing at my own parties. I mumble about feeling shit and hove off to bed. WOuld not do this if I lived on my own (paranoid I'd wake up to find my laptop/stereo stolen).

― taxi tomato or bag tomato (Trayce), Thursday, November 7, 2013 2:18 AM (7 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

omg i had a roommate who would do this all the time. invite a whole lot of friends over and suddenly say in a super loud voice 'I'm going to bed!' Leaving me to watch all these fools, that I mostly didn't know, until they would decide to leave hours later. I mean it was funny but it also drove me up the wall.

remember when you left ilx without telling anybody

wonder how many posters have ghosted ilx for good

lol @ my own parties i often totally just go to bed and the party rages til all hours, its p routine for me at this point

its a family affair tho, cause several times one of my sisters has left her own birthday party to go party somewhere else and appointed someone else in charge

i love saying goodbye, it's fun if you kind of make a big spectacle out of it; highfiving, fingerpoint & wink at people. p hilarious imo. not "attention-hoey" imo, it's nice to have someone say bye to you, it's like "oh, they thought of me, aw" especially if they're like "dude... breakfast tomorrow?!!!" even if u both know you're not going to actually eat breakfast together

especially if they're like "dude... breakfast tomorrow?!!!" even if u both know you're not going to actually eat breakfast together

Why would you say this if you knew it wasn't going to be true

My god people are monsters

:(

¯\_(O?O)_/¯

cause youre both wasted and both deep down know that youre gonna be too hungover in the morning, but its nice to think about anyway

this happens all the time, and neither person really believes it will happen, sometimes that mutual doubt is expressed sometimes it isnt. extremely drunk goodbye-plans are not real plans

yeah exctly

Uh oh there's no good way out of this

Obviously it's a thing that happens, I said my comment in jest

But now that you both thought I was being serious I can't be like 'haha you guys are stupid' because you guys are not

But if I say it was all a joke it looks like I didn't know that this was a thing that actaully happens and I'm just covering for myself after the fact

In conclusion life is hard

what is you guys' position on hello, can you manage that one

Act of extreme aggression

Do not attempt unless a matter of last resort

fuck that colonialist bullshit, "announcing" the space you're taking up and making it everyone else's responsibility to respond in kind

if anyone says "hello" to me i feel 100% ok about kicking them in the nuts, because they are my oppressors

hey

Fuck you

sup

what's shakin

MODS

OK well I'm gonna get going now

Catch you later

rox otm

^^ally

this happens all the time, and neither person really believes it will happen, sometimes that mutual doubt is expressed sometimes it isnt. extremely drunk goodbye-plans are not real plans

― 1 P.3. Eternal (roxymuzak), Thursday, November 7, 2013 12:59 PM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Roxy, I am in desperate need of a book filled with these american non-spoken rules because idgi.

idk if thats an unspoken rule so much as a "wont even remember u said this by the next morning", surely?

there's a truth to drunkenness that we can't always live up to in sober life. if you were both somehow in the same condition the next morning i'm sure the breakfast would happen and it would be wonderful.

'somehow'

lol gtfo noob

well the other scenario is when you notice that it's already 8am and go for breakfast there and then.

lol 'notice it's 8am' gtfo noob

:''(

THE PARTY CHART

#|1-------500+|
*|¯¯¯¯----____|

LEGEND:

# = Number of humans at a party
* = Probability of saying goodbye to host and friends

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

i dont even

ILX self selects for party leavers.

just left a party, said goodbye, still feel kinda guilty

it was just getting started but I'm tired

ILX self selects for party leavers.

― Jeff, Saturday, November 9, 2013 11:08 PM (7 months ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol

The classic Irish goodbye. Total classic

the only thing noticeable about ireland is that people there spend a long time saying goodbye to each other

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifm00JEjSeo

I think the nü-Irish Goodbye is closing a gchat tab without saying goodbye

Do they? Most of my family is Irish and while I've never heard this expression, I'm laughing!! If they're Irish and they walk out, they're either telling you they're upset or ill. But I'm laughing because it seems like the Irish in my family are practical about leaving. Like, "we're leaving at nine and that 's that." I'll tell you the Irish don't like to fuss it's better to leave at a certain time than keep the host up talking. I mean we laugh at those people that stand at the door for an hour.

i left a party saturday without saying goodbye, it felt awesome

last time I said goodbye to someone at a party I stayed and kept them talking as their life passed and the years fell on them like crinkles on carpet they died halfway through the fifty fourth thousandth decade of the rosary I had proposed out of sheer awkwardness over the departure arrangements and twas a great way to go, at peace and surrounded by the cobwebbed remainders of the other guests (I had been standing in the doorway for night sixty years by then but obviously they couldn't leave by window nor back door without taking proper leave of the host themselves. I believe this trait of elongated exit is perhaps a carryover from our dear colonial guests, who invited themselves over 800 years ago and are upstairs footering about even yet

called 'polish exit' in germany fwiw.

pretty sure there was an infographic recently attributing technique to even more nationalities, depending on country the party in question is taking place in.

Italian party- never leave