Christmas* On Your Own (*Or Other EOY Winter Holiday): Classic or Dud (also support group)

Yeah, I know that admitting you are spending a big family-centric holiday on your own is tantamount to writing LOSER on your forehead in indelible ink, but, still, there it is. But also, I know that there are other ILX0rs doing this, so here is our thread.

There are so many classic things about spending the holiday on your own! No fights! No racist outbursts from Uncle Ian! No arguments over your politics or coming to blows over whether to sit through the Queen's Speech or Eastenders. Eat what you want, when you want.

There are so many dud things about spending the holiday on your own! Loneliness. FOMO that everyone in the world is having a better time than you. Missing people who have vanished to spend time with their own families. The entire world rubbing "FAMILY" in your face if you haven't got one.

What say you? Classic or Dud? But also feel free to moan or complain or crow or rejoice or talk about the ways in which you deal with or avoid all this stuff.

Classic as long as you make sure you get out of the house. I've done Xmas on my own for the last few years. My favourite thing to to walk to through Hyde Park through to Bayswater where it's almost business as usual, and then through Little Venice and back down the Edgeware Road, and into Soho.

You can practically ignore the Xmas season from Boxing Day onwards in London, if you prefer and are careful in avoided selected shopping-centric areas.

Not going to moan all over other threads, going to try to keep it here.

I did not realise how much "running away to Cornwall" had become my-entrenched-family-holiday-experience until this year, when being stranded in London brought it home.

London on your own, as friends drain away to their own families, is a brutal, unforgiving experience. Cornwall on your own is... well, in a tiny village in Cornwall, you are never really alone, and when the only way of getting away from ppl and experiencing "alone" is to go up on the sea cliffs, you aren't alone, then, either, because the sea is a constant, noisy, un-ignorable companion. I'd been going to the same village for several years running now, and have got to the point where not only do I know quite a lot of ppl down there so I feel like I have a friends-and-family bustle of people to fit in time hanging out with - but also, 1) people in villages outside London are just more friendly to strangers and 2) you can get to a point of familiarity where you stop being a stranger if you go to the same shops, pubs, ceremonies every year, and start becoming "that person who always stays in X's loft and does the drawings, have you got any new pictures yet, me lover?"

So there's a layer of missing that kind of replacement activity, on top of the usual "holidays on your own are rub." Just finding it tough. Suspect even "being back on ILX" is just part of a search for familiarity in some ways.

So... establishing your own, special "on your own" rituals and ways not to be "alone" = classic
Having those rituals disrupted and ending up back in a familiar rut = dud

X-post and yes, the "Christmas (or Boxing Day, depending on weather)" walk to Lamorna has been a big, big part of my personal tradition. Maybe I should plan a gigantor South London walk of the same magnitude that I can do while cars are off roads and busses not running.

I think pictures of Montol Festival last night really kinda pushed me over the edge into a state of intense hiraeth.

i'm doing this by choice this year (well, on xmas day itself i'm going to some friends). feeling very very zen about it all. wish i'd started to ask around earlier re: who else would be doing the same - "i'm on my own in london for xmas" would have been an easy thing to tweet/fb to find out but broadcasting it does feel weird.

in general i am looking fwd to it more than any xmas i've ever looked fwd to.

When it's by choice, it can actually be an awesome, exhilarating, liberating experience. I guess I'm trying to recapture that sense rather than being marooned. But yeah, it does feel like a weird thing to broadcast. There's this kind of "you MUST have ppl to be around" sense of duty/obligation/expectation.

On my own (no partic reason), and did the always nice family stuff over the weekend before they went away. On xmas day I am going to a friend's and her cooking is terrific so..

I love the vibe around London in the week between xmas-new year.

http://aeon.co/magazine/being-human/olivia-laing-me-lonely-in-manhattan/

Something funny happens to people who are lonely. The lonelier they get, the less adept they become at navigating social currents. Loneliness grows around them, like mould or fur, a prophylactic that inhibits contact, no matter how badly contact is desired. Loneliness is accretive, extending and perpetuating itself. Once it becomes impacted, it isn’t easy to dislodge. When I think of its advance, an anchoress’s cell comes to mind, as does the exoskeleton of a gastropod.

This sounds like paranoia, but in fact loneliness’s odd mode of increase has been mapped by medical researchers. It seems that the initial sensation triggers what psychologists call hypervigilance for social threat. In this state, which is entered into unknowingly, one tends to experience the world in negative terms, and to both expect and remember negative encounters — instances of rudeness, rejection or abrasion, like my urn brew episodes in the café. This creates, of course, a vicious circle, in which the lonely person grows increasingly more isolated, suspicious and withdrawn.

#GPOY

I love the vibe around London in the week between xmas-new year.

― xyzzzz__, Monday, December 23, 2013 10:08 AM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

The emptiness can be so disconcerting. Sometimes it is like stillness, sometimes it is like deadness.

Knowing how full London is during the rest of the year I get to appreciate and value the emptiness more. All of these large momentarily unpopulated structures.

Of course its a near-emptiness...London is too big and has too many people.

Out as far as I live, it's not really that empty (except on Xmas Day itself) but I do recall that going into the centre, it becomes a ghost town.

Hello from Ghost Town central! I'm around too.

What do we call the "betwixt-Xmas-and-New-Years Time Of Deadness" anyway? Interperiod? Winterval? OH MY GOD LOOK, A PLACE TO PARK?

Is there any other interest in a London Canal walk during this period? (Not on Boxing Day or the 29th tho) Email or text me (or Suzy? can I volunteer you?) if you are a) in London and b) fancy a canal walk during Interzone.

WINTERZONE.

DUR-DUR-DUR-DUR-DUR-DURR-DURR

*stuttery post-punk guitar*

crimbo limbo?

Ha, good one.

Can I still do Barneywave guitar crunches, though?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BgoBRn2HQDo

yeah winterzone is better imo

Naked Leftovers

'The Cockney's Christmas' by William S. Burroughs.

This is now officially the best christmas ever, because this is the christmas that brought me the knowledge and experience of RHUBARB AND GINGER JAM.

Repeat: RHUBARB AND GINGER JAM, MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!

"I want to go to the woods during this brief window of fairly reasonable weather" b/w "half the neighbour's fence is down and I'm afraid something will fall and kill me if I leave the house."

I am slightly losing my fucking mind.

http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3817/11522189684_436d593b06_o.jpg

yeah i was gonna be up for a possible canal walk and then yesterday's weather happened and even apart from the possibility of danger my hibernation instincts just take over totally

I was forewarned about yesterday's terrible, horrible weather by A FARMER. Now it's calmer - and tomorrow/Boxing Day should be mostly sunny.

Need to stop buying reduced-to-clear bargains but just got a whole imperial pound of smoked salmon for like £4, the butcher was handing out nips of Courvoisier to the queue, and I am teetering on the precipice of a mighty headcold (which I will force out of myself with pills, mint tea, and mulled wine).

Having just seen tweets from Scotland, showing "this is the weather depression that caused last night's gale. This is the EVEN MORE MASSIVE AND BIGGER weather depression which is due to hit on Friday" I think that canal walk is probably not in our best interests. A shame.

Even if my new Cornish Tin Cloth mac is, as promised, fucking *weather-proof*! Seriously, I got dumped on head to toe by that last cloud up on the Common, and everything outside the mac is soaked and everything covered by the mac is bone dry. It's piskie magic, I know it.

Almost want to wear it back to Orkney and stand on Deerness and try to cross over to the Brough of Birsay again and just shake my fist at the sky and go "BRING IT!!!!" But, like, even the Scots in my tweetstream are going "END TIMES" right now.

I have opened the Roses, starting with the pink and orange ones. Jesus Christ have they always been this sickly sweet or have they been tarted up for American taste buds recently?

IS IT TIME FOR THE CHOCOLATE YULE LOG (lol) OR DO I HAVE TO EAT MINE OWN DINNER FIRST.

I've got a huge Thornton's tray from my friend J, and it is a Christmas tradition that the first thing I do with it is winnow out the strawberry and/or coconut creams and fire them into the bin. BLEURGH.

One year I had to test Christmas chocs for the Observer, and it was the Thornton's that sent me over the edge into uncontrolled sugar-based weeping.

Not departing for family til tomw morning. Maybe church tonight? Last time I met Andr3w Sull1van.

Oh no, do NOT put the delicacy of coconut creams in the same fire as strawberry pinkfluff. Oh no you don't.

If we had a high church around here, I might think of going for some smells and bells and carol singing, but this part of London doesn't really *do* high church. My Mum was all "go to St Pauls, they'll do high church!" but I'm p sure that St Paul's charge like £15 just to get in for heathens who want to carol on Crimbo.

When in Kernow, I actually go for my Crimbo sing to THE METHODISTS, which makes my Mum cross herself and threaten to faint (Which is what my Mum does with p much all denominations except C of E and maybe the more anglican end of the Presbyterians. We don't even ~mention~ the First Congregationalists and their ostentatious churches in Vermont!) and curse the taint of my father's family who are Methodists all the way back to Reformation or whatever.

But THE METHODISTS do Male Voice Choir on the beach on Tom Bawcock's Eve and sometimes even singing in Cornish, which is v v cool so I'm fine with the taint of Methodism.

(There may exist a Soundcloud of me singing Christmas Carols in a Cornish voice choir somewhere on the internet but I've buried all evidence of the link.)

I'm not sure why I am at work on Christmas Eve day, but here I am. I need you people to keep posting so I have something to read.

I have opened the Roses, starting with the pink and orange ones. Jesus Christ have they always been this sickly sweet or have they been tarted up for American taste buds recently?

They gradually got sweeter during the late 90s/early 00s, to the point that I switched back to Quality Street.

OK, I'm glad that it's not my imagination, but at the same time, a kind of kneejerk reaction prevents me from ever knowingly buying something Nestle. (Even though I know that Cadburys have been sold to an evil multinational and are probably Just As Bad now.)

I'm eating Mars Celebrations now, even though they're not particularly Christmas-y. Unless someone has dirt on Mars, Inc.?

I have now shaken the contents of the box out onto the table to count how many I have of each, to determine order of consumption so that I never run out of any one particular flavour.

The blue ones are totally the best ones, aren't they?

2 hour live Orbital set on iTunes = super christmassy.

I'm about to hit the whisky & ginger now and we all know how drinking plus ILX goes (not!) so anon... more complaining tomorrow when I slice the Yule Log.

this...might be me? not going home for xmas, boyfriend is out of town, roommates and i were gonna have an orphan xmas party but one of them came down with a nasty illness yesterday. feeling kind of blah about it tbh.

You are welcome to thread-party, DR! All kinds of blah or yay are welcome here.

donna rouge, a. and i are around too. want to see a movie and/or eat indian food?

i'm completely alone. my bf went on a road trip. i'm not talking to any family. feels amazing tbh like a bachelor holiday on the moon.

I'm loving this. I coulda had a mate around but fuckit, I am sitting in the sun eating giant prawns and drinking champers and watching Bored to Death dvd marathons and vid skyping my nephews, this has been fantastic! Bit too hot tho.

Up, and about to make a colossal Christmas brunch for orphaned friends nearby: eggs Benedict (my variant is made with Parma ham and chopped-up pea shoots atop the Hollandaise sauce), hash browns, smoked salmon, Mexican hot chocolate - and if we are still going at noon, I'll open the prosecco.

this is the most hungover i've ever been on xmas day. impromptu drinks at a friend's house last night ended in rum. she's promised to host a xmas lunch next year for assorted reprobates and rejects.

more friends are picking me up in an hour, i need to somehow move and get out of bed? but we're going for a xmas day walk in westminster which i've always wanted to do!

this is basically my favourite xmas ever so far.

Nadelik Lowen, onan hag oll!

I have a wicked whisky hangover and an Inappropriate Crush on Bill Drummond.

I am now going to live dangerously by turning the heating all the way up to 19.

Trying to decide which is more self-indulgent: if the heating gets up to 19 degrees, I might be able to face a shower without the Morning Constitutional! However, it being Christmas, and not having to see anyone for 3 days, I could just not bathe for 3 days if I wanted to, and be the dirtiest dronerock girl in the history of forever.

Also, what time to carve the Yule Log and what time to start my Cosmos marathon.

Trying really hard to stay ~positive~ and not descend into GOD I FUCKING HATE CHRISTMAS GRRR ARGH MOAN EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE but I guess I should get off the internet and go dance around the kitchen to Dead Can Dance or the White Room or something.

First Xmas by myself, kind of enjoying it so far. Drinking Xmas morning whisky to try to scare off the hangover from Xmas Eve whisky (too drunk to go to church last night)

Spent the rest of the morning showering, then scrubbing the bog and hoovering the sofa because I am glamourous.

Has the sun gone past the yardarm, can I start drinking yet, or do those rules go out the window on Christmas? I have such a wretched headache from two wee drops of whisky mac last night that I daren't start up again.

I guess I'm answering the phone to relatives today which is a new thing. That was nice, and also dinner invitations for later in the week. There's no reception in the house I usually stay in, down in Cornwall, so I forgot to turn the ringer off today. I guess bellowing "HAPPY CHRISTMAS" down long distance connections is not as traumatic as it was when I was young.

The sun is over the yardarm.

YES!

Wait, no, the sun is supposed to be *below* the yardarm kynsa dhe eva.

Fuck I am typing Cornish in one window and English in the other, I knew this was going to happen.

I think it is meant to be above it. Either way, it's definitely an acceptable time to drink.

No, trust me on this one, I have seen drinking with a family full of Colonials every year since birth. The sun goes *below* the yardarm, you can drink. As in, when the sun sets, you take your "purely medicinal" dose of gin and quinine.

But yes, either way, I think a wee dram is now.

Oh god both the Islay and the Skye are below the yardarm this morning, I guess I had more than I thought last night. What I really want is the Jura but that was gone days ago and stupid me didn't venture out in windpocalypse to replenish.

Perhaps it's a different take on the same theme. I believe the navy used to wait until the sun was over the yardarm (between 11am and midday) before serving rum rations and, certainly in my family, that translated to no drinking before 11:30.

Drinking rules go out the window at Christmas. I started at about half nine this morning (glass of cava while having a bath).

x-post Actually, yes, I have seen that interpretation in naval lore, come to think of it. "No drinking before noon" vs "No drinking before sundown" oh well, either way. Should I have Skye or Islay?

The Islay is peatier but also more hangover-y. The Skye is slightly more gone-ier. Decisions, decisions.

Breakfast Cava in the bath is more a New Years thing but hey it's all good.

Last year, no kidding:

http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8074/8298224160_dae93b4e03_o.jpg

(was staying behind the house on the right)

Damn, wrong thread, and I haven't even started drinking yet.

I think this means I should start.

Breakfast Cava in the bath is more a New Years thing

Not in my house it's not. Breakfast (or indeed mornings) do not exist at New Year.

Man, in our house, we were supposed to up & have a BRACING New Years walk no matter what (in fact your hangover was a punishment from god or england or whatever) and to succumb was not to be tough enough or something, hence the morning fortifying.

It's kinda nuts when you think about how alcohol and the use/abuse of it is suffused through our culture & customs but oh well.

Still have not decided what to drink, tho.

My father claims to come from a long nautical family (not sure how much actual evidence there is of this, though his younger brother was in the navy) and is often heard muttering about yardarms circa elevenses-to-noon. Just as another data point.

I mean, my father likes a drink or several, so admittedly the naval thing may be a red herring here.

Red herring itself a naval thing so it all works out imo

OK, overwhelming evidence points to me being wrong on this one. My family are all total landlubbers so what would they know!

Kinda wondering where I went wrong on this - if it's just me misremembering stuff from childhood, of "drinks will be served 20 minutes before the dinner gong" and "no, really, gin and tonic is totally medicinal" and just substituting the "yardarm" as some floating bit of trivia of "drinking before noon means you're an alcoholic" or whatever.

Anyway, I *still* haven't drunk anything. Though I have eaten the most massive omelette with goats milk camembert and purple sprouting broccoli and soda bread and veggie sausages and now I am too full to anything except lie here and groan, let alone contemplate whisky. And I haven't even started the Yule Log.

It is *definitely* time for Cosmos now. Mum will have started the 8am service by now so she'll be working the rest of the day, and I better turn off the phone before the Left Coast relatives wake up and I get urgent piskie-related phone calls from my niece as a cover for my brother spouting some shit at me.

Wow I was gonna play the Cosmos drinking game & sip every time Sagan said "billions" or "millions" but TBH, hearing the stirring kosmische theme music and hearing those over-familiar yet poetic words about "shore of the cosmic ocean, wading a little way out" and I'm tearing up a bit, for real.

loving the running commentary on the yule log.
at hq, its the stollen.
something that bh instigated, and so i have to get one every year now.
just had the first hair of the dog to try and kickstart the day properly after last nights excess.
re your bill obsession, have you read '17' ? not exactly klf based, but a fascinating read nonetheless.

Yule Blog, haha. What is stollen like? I suspect it's raisin-y.

Have only skimmed 17 in shop but honestly trying to dissuade not encourage Bill obsession.

not that much raisin in stollen ..
its a mix of normal cake, raisins etc, with plenty of marzipan.
its quite dense, and very filling.

Ok anything with marzipan = god food AFAIC

(finally cut the Yule Log. It is monstrous. Truly. Now time for a special Science Update! from Dr Sagan!)

Spending Xmas eve alone was dud squared

Xmas solo here too. Did make it out of the house for a nice late afternoon bike ride up to the top of the Hollywood hills.

All you tropical / Southern Hemisphere people with "bike rides in the hills" and your "we're off to the beach" and the like, you make me sick. :-P

All I can say today is: thank fuck that's over. Never again.

Christmas on your own meaning, away from problematic family/atmosphere, with sympathetic friends = classic.
Christmas on your own meaning, on your actual own = well, thankful for this thread, for twitter friends, for beautiful persons who sent a text message saying "thinking of you."

https://www.flickr.com/photos/55613968

https://www.flickr.com/photos/55613968@N00/11562719133/player/842658562b

Wow. So whippet. Much hound. Very grey.

Much hound indeed (although for me, the link is broken both times). About a month ago this poor guy got pancreatitis, but seems to be recovering. It was torture for him to witness the eating of Christmas food that he's under vet's orders not to touch, so of course he spent the entirety of dinner with his chin in my lap.

I can't believe we finished the Laphroaig.

Finally had the KLF forcibly wrestled off the stereo. Put on Beyonce instead. yay.

i blasted dj rashad - double cup like 5 times on xmas eve.

xmas day i smoked pot, went on a run and cleaned the house. best christmas ever.

now i have the rest of the week off and i'm going to a forest service cabin over new years'. yeah baby.

What/where is this forest service cabin? That sounds amazing.