I LOVE JESUS DISCUSS

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so i have drank too much and its a catholic party but they are all v. nice.

― anthony easton (anthony), Sunday, 6 October 2002 04:36 (twenty-three years ago)

overrated!!

― jess (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 6 October 2002 04:42 (twenty-three years ago)

a more important question might be: does Jesus love you? and how can u tell FOR SURE ? :)

― V, Sunday, 6 October 2002 05:05 (twenty-three years ago)

aint nothin wrong with jesus, thats 4 sho

― boxcubed (boxcubed), Sunday, 6 October 2002 05:21 (twenty-three years ago)

Once this woman came up to me on the street and said "I just want you to know that Jesus loves you." I was like "He's dead, isn't he?" She goes "Nah, not with the resurrection and all that." "Oh really?" I said, "Does this mean he's still around somewhere?" She replied "His name today is Ned."

So there you go. Ned loves me, and all of us aparrently.

― Andrew (enneff), Sunday, 6 October 2002 05:35 (twenty-three years ago)

Ned loves me, and all of us aparrently.

I feel so cheap!

― Jody Beth Rosen, Sunday, 6 October 2002 05:39 (twenty-three years ago)

Jesus is just alright w/ me.

― Andrew L (Andrew L), Sunday, 6 October 2002 05:44 (twenty-three years ago)

Actually, think of the possibilities were Ned suddenly declared the modern-day Jesus. We could be his disciples (read: groupies) or something. Anthony could be the first Priest of the Church of Ned.

― Andrew (enneff), Sunday, 6 October 2002 05:46 (twenty-three years ago)

Church halls would be filled with the holy music of Kevin Shields.

"And today's hymn is 'Only Shallow'."

― Andrew (enneff), Sunday, 6 October 2002 05:48 (twenty-three years ago)

Let us now read from the All Ned Bible.

― Jody Beth Rosen, Sunday, 6 October 2002 05:49 (twenty-three years ago)

but then Ned could never have sex again (or just ever)...right ?

or maybe if ned went gay he would be sayingt hat the new ned christianity says its ok to be gay since jesus is gay.

― V, Sunday, 6 October 2002 06:09 (twenty-three years ago)

You are all FUCKING WITH MY HEAD. I approve, thank you. Andrew, are you really serious? She actually said that?

V, about the sex thing -- Christianity, were I the new Messiah, would become one of the most relaxed religions ever when it came to strictures on such matters.

A church choir singing "Soon" in an eternal arrangement would work. An All Ned Bible would be very amusing. Verses would all end with a ;-).

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 6 October 2002 06:31 (twenty-three years ago)

go ahead ned!! save us! become jesus, go gay, replace the cross with a copy of Loveless being the new holy symbol...we need you DO IT!!!!!

― V, Sunday, 6 October 2002 06:36 (twenty-three years ago)

I feel I have been called to some great task. But does that mean I have to wander around in the desert for a while? I fear ending up looking like Bono 1987.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 6 October 2002 06:37 (twenty-three years ago)

Yes. But just think of the chalices serving up sacramental Cosmopolitans instead of cheap wine.

― j.lu (j.lu), Sunday, 6 October 2002 06:40 (twenty-three years ago)

*gasp* Oh, beautiful. And they would be exquisitely chilled.

But then again, a really good wine could also do...mmm. A communion consisting of a delicious, delicate cracker with the finest white cheddar cheese, followed by a twenty-year old pinot noir from the Otago region or Moet et Chandon's finest champagne. Heavens! It would be a blessing.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 6 October 2002 06:42 (twenty-three years ago)

"but does that mean I have to wander around in the desert for a while?"

just go up the 5 towards magic mountain but get lost for a while! then find magic mountain and sanctify it as a holy place! and declare monday/tuesday/wednesday as holy days in addition to sunday, so we can only have a 2-day work week!!

― V, Sunday, 6 October 2002 06:47 (twenty-three years ago)

I think I'll declare Mount Saddleback the holy mountain, and from there unleash my anti-smog powers on the basin.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 6 October 2002 06:50 (twenty-three years ago)

If Ned is Jesus who is Satan?

― V, Sunday, 6 October 2002 07:12 (twenty-three years ago)

ethan

― bnw (bnw), Sunday, 6 October 2002 07:18 (twenty-three years ago)

Don't encourage him.

― Jody Beth Rosen, Sunday, 6 October 2002 07:22 (twenty-three years ago)

You can be Mary Magdalene.

― bnw (bnw), Sunday, 6 October 2002 07:37 (twenty-three years ago)

Promise? :-)

― Jody Beth Rosen, Sunday, 6 October 2002 07:50 (twenty-three years ago)

My shepherd, the lord is... I shall not want ;-)

― ron (ron), Sunday, 6 October 2002 07:52 (twenty-three years ago)

http://www.imagemagician.com/images/cowfish/edevil.jpg

― mitch lastnamewithheld (mitchlnw), Sunday, 6 October 2002 08:47 (twenty-three years ago)

Yeah, either Ethan or Dave Q is Satan...

... my vote goes to Ethan

― V, Sunday, 6 October 2002 09:34 (twenty-three years ago)

Can't we have Dan as Satan? Then this new Bible could have the verse:

For lo, Satan was a Very Bad Mang ;-)

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Sunday, 6 October 2002 10:33 (twenty-three years ago)

Ned, she said everything except the 'Ned' part.

― Andrew (enneff), Sunday, 6 October 2002 10:35 (twenty-three years ago)

So no great revelations are to be had, I'm afraid.

― Andrew (enneff), Sunday, 6 October 2002 10:35 (twenty-three years ago)

This thread is a thing of beauty.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Sunday, 6 October 2002 11:28 (twenty-three years ago)

That it is. Well, even if she didn't say it, the idea has been lodged, rah. Dan as Satan is entertaining and fills me with love, though that would mean a bit of a Manichean universe, but neither Ethan nor Dave Q would qualify (and besides, have Dave Q and I ever gotten into an argument?). I have other candidates out of my off-board life. Jody Beth as Mary M = if she is so willing.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 6 October 2002 12:16 (twenty-three years ago)

Wait, if Ned is the son of god, and I'm the Server God (TM)...

― Andrew (enneff), Sunday, 6 October 2002 12:21 (twenty-three years ago)

Why Andrew, you clever man. Giving birth to me even though you're male and younger.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 6 October 2002 12:25 (twenty-three years ago)

Hey, that's why I'm God, and you're merely my earthly incarnation.

― Andrew (enneff), Sunday, 6 October 2002 12:55 (twenty-three years ago)

If Ned is Jesus, and Andrew our Server God, who is the Holy Ghost? I'm suggesting Mark, Graham or Tom. Hm, actually, wasn't Tom the Prime Mover of ILM, and therefore God?

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Sunday, 6 October 2002 13:24 (twenty-three years ago)

Holy Spirit = Graham (he could pull it off)

Noah = Dom, cos

Noah, a man of the soil, was the first to plant a vineyard. He drank some of the wine and became drunk, and he lay uncovered in his tent. And Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father, and told his two brothers outside. Then Shem and Japeth took a garnment, laid it on both their shoulders, and walked backward and covered the nakedness of their father; their faces were turned away, and they did not see their father's nakedness. When Noah awoke from his wine and knew what his youngest son had done to him, he said:

"Cursed be Canaan
lowest of slaves shall he be to his
brothers"

He also said:
"Blessed by the LORD my God be Shem;
and let Canaan be his slave.
May God make space for Japeth,
and let him live in the tents of Shem;
and let Canaan be his slave"

After the flood Noah lived three hundred fifty years. All the days of Noah were nine hundred fifty years; and he died.

....sounds like something Dom would do.

Second Coming = release of new Ned's Atomic Dustbin record

atheism = Tanya Heaton (obviously)

― Daniel_Rf, Sunday, 6 October 2002 13:29 (twenty-three years ago)

Since when did Jesus not have sex?

― toraneko (toraneko), Sunday, 6 October 2002 13:46 (twenty-three years ago)

Didn't Hanle y previously establish himself as God?

― j.lu (j.lu), Sunday, 6 October 2002 14:04 (twenty-three years ago)

Since when did Jesus not have sex?

Precisely.

Didn't Hanle y previously establish himself as God?

Hanle y Deus runs his own universe. It is purple and filled with love.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 6 October 2002 14:17 (twenty-three years ago)

maybe that lady meant ned flanders. jesus seemed like a nice enough fellow.

― di smith (lucylurex), Sunday, 6 October 2002 21:00 (twenty-three years ago)

maybe that lady meant ned flanders.

Frightening! I'd cry.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 6 October 2002 21:31 (twenty-three years ago)

(Mitch : !!!)

― donut bitch (donut), Monday, 7 October 2002 00:30 (twenty-three years ago)

maybe that lady meant ned flanders.

The Gospel According to the Simpsons

― j.lu (j.lu), Monday, 7 October 2002 00:54 (twenty-three years ago)

today I was forwarded this:

0wr F4th3R, wh0 0wnz h34\/3n, j00 r0x0rs! M4y 4|| 0wr b4s3 s0m3d4y
Bl0ng t0 j00! M4y j00 0wn 34rth juss |1|3 j00 0wn h34\/3n. G1v3 us
th1s d4y 0wr w4r3z, mp3z, 'n pr0n thr0ugh a ph4t |. 4nd cut us s0m3 sl4ck wh3n w3 4ct lik3 n00b l4m3rz, juss 4s w3 g1v3 n00bz 4 l34rn1n wh3n th3y l4m3 2 us. Pl34s3 d0n't l3t us 0wn s0m3 p00r d00d'z b0x3n wh3n w3'r3 t00 p1ss3d t0 th1nk 4b0ut wh4t's r1ght 4nd wr0ng, 4nd 1f j00 c0uld k33p th3 f3i 0ff 0wr b4ckz, w3'd 'pr3c14t3 1t. F0r j00 0wn 4ll 0wr b0x3n 43v3r 4nd 3v3r, 4m3n.

― felicity (felicity), Monday, 7 October 2002 06:00 (twenty-three years ago)

four years pass...

http://photos-358.ll.facebook.com/photos-ll-sctm/v123/243/119/622767358/n622767358_290181_2009.jpg

― the next grozart, Wednesday, 19 September 2007 16:40 (eighteen years ago)

one year passes...

http://www.fecalface.com/POTD/upload/2007/06/6-16-07.jpg

― dat dude delmar (and what), Wednesday, 3 December 2008 00:55 (seventeen years ago)

why

― k3vin k., Wednesday, 3 December 2008 01:01 (seventeen years ago)

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