fear of forgetting something

this sense haunts me, esp in the evening. i can't seem to relax/wind down anymore, just a tenseness that i forgot to get something ready or that i will run out of time.
incidentally i have had recurring stress dreams since childhood about being late for things/forgetting things. lol neuroses.

I have a common fear that I forgot the coffee maker on (like a legit fear, heart pounding as I walk to the train), that I won't wake up for something important (I'll set three alarms and still be unable to relax), and that I forgot some work-related deadline (I have a lot of them so it's not a surprising fear), as examples. I try to set a lot of reminders in my phone to alleviate this.

think this is called athazagoraphobia, but it also covers a broader range of issues.

tbf, I think my fears are probably a mechanism I developed to counter my ADD and absent-mindedness, so they can be beneficial

Ugh, this happens to me all the fucking time. No matter how many idiot checks I do after a gig, I'm convinced I left something behind.

The fact that I've actually left things behind, albeit on only two occasions in the past 21 years, feeds this fear.

happens every time we take a trip out of town. we get on the highway and i know there's something missing, my hat, a favorite shirt, phone charger, whatever. even worsened now with having a kid, packing has become a three-day process with 50-item lists to help us remember

I don't have a fear of forgetting something as such, more a fear of screwing up, with forgetting being the primary way that I might potentially screw up. And I mean forgetting in a general sense, not just small things like keys/wallet/phone, or larger issues like forgetting appointments, but even forgetting stuff I've learnt.

this evening after school i had a panicked 10 minutes looking for my 7th period's answer documents to the semester exam. ~LYFE~

The Winter Palace

Most people know more as they get older:

I give all that the cold shoulder.

I spent my second quarter-century

Losing what I had learnt at university

And refusing to take in what had happened since.

Now I know none of the names in the public prints,

And am starting to give offence by forgetting faces

And swearing I’ve never been in certain places.

It will be worth it, if in the end I manage

To blank out whatever it is that is doing the damage.

Then there will be nothing I know

My mind will fold into itself, like fields, like snow.

— Philip Larkin

love that

Sometimes I think privilege in the sense of its original form, wealth, means the ability to forget

Yes, perhaps, but when people acquire the ability to forget everything and have it not matter, when *everything* is replaceable, that is when things and even people start to lose their meaning entirely.

thats a p fucked up interesting poem

larkin <3