reasons for admission to trans-allegheny lunatic asylum, ca. 1870

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Poll Results

Option	Votes
masturbation for 30 years	6
deranged masturbation	5
novel reading	4
imaginary female trouble	4
tobacco & masturbation	4
fever and loss of law suit	2
fighting fire	2
business nerves	2
hard study	1
bad whiskey	1
gathering in the head	1
excitement as officer	1
rumor of husband murder	1
salvation army	1
seduction & disappointment	1
false confinement	1
exposure and quackery	1
suppressed masturbation	0
suppression of menses	0
fits and desertion of husband	0
the war	0
time of life	0
vicious vices	0
women trouble	0
shooting of daughter	0
grief	0
uterine derangement	0
fell from horse in war	0
female disease	0
egotism	0
dropsy	0
nymphomania	0
medicine to prevent conception	0
masturbation & syphilis	0
marriage of son	0
laziness	0
jealousy and religion	0
immoral life	0
kicked in the head by a horse	0
opium habit	0
over study of religion	0
domestic affliction	0
decoyed into the army	0
death of sons in war	0
bloody flux	0
bad company	0
political excitement	0
periodical fits	0
parents were cousins	0
intemperance & business trouble	0

― j., Friday, 21 March 2014 00:10 (eleven years ago)

i had to delete quite a few to make the list fit, luckily they made that easy with their dozen different barely-distinguishable ways to say 'women be crazy'. apologies if i am eliding any interesting and historically significant quirks of 19th-century mental health and/or its episteme/regime of biopower.

― j., Friday, 21 March 2014 00:13 (eleven years ago)

this is one of the best of these polls

torn between 'deranged masturbation', 'fighting fire' and 'the war'

― imago, Friday, 21 March 2014 00:14 (eleven years ago)

might have cut some varieties of masturbation from the list too, if any ilxors with first-hand knowledge of the differences want to lodge a complaint, you know the drill

― j., Friday, 21 March 2014 00:16 (eleven years ago)

partial to 'masturbation for 30 years'

― POO: the blossom or full flower of the evening (Sufjan Grafton), Friday, 21 March 2014 00:17 (eleven years ago)

Obligatory joke about seeing "Business Nerves" and "Uterine Derangement" at SXSW.

Anyway, very rarely will "kicked in head by horse" not be the best option in a poll.

― bi-polar uncle (its OK-he's dead) (Phil D.), Friday, 21 March 2014 00:17 (eleven years ago)

because I picture it as uninterrupted

― POO: the blossom or full flower of the evening (Sufjan Grafton), Friday, 21 March 2014 00:17 (eleven years ago)

steve mcqueen's ~~next movie~~ mooted career xxp

― imago, Friday, 21 March 2014 00:18 (eleven years ago)

but what about 'bloody flux'? Does flux mean urine?

― POO: the blossom or full flower of the evening (Sufjan Grafton), Friday, 21 March 2014 00:19 (eleven years ago)

you also gotta wonder which novel sent one of our poor folks o'er the edge. not one of them ha'penny potboilers surely

― imago, Friday, 21 March 2014 00:19 (eleven years ago)

oh apparently bloody flux is dysentery

a case of dysentery which drives you to lunacy

― j., Friday, 21 March 2014 00:20 (eleven years ago)

bad company till the day I die

― coops all on coops tbh (crüt), Friday, 21 March 2014 00:20 (eleven years ago)

imago, iirc, it was not so much any maddening potential in say a story as it was the preoccupation with fantasy happiness, sentimentality, the exaggerated emotional turmoil?

― j., Friday, 21 March 2014 00:22 (eleven years ago)

much like say THE INTERNET in later days

― j., Friday, 21 March 2014 00:22 (eleven years ago)

Bad Music Criticism

― imago, Friday, 21 March 2014 00:26 (eleven years ago)

buzzfeed derangement

― j., Friday, 21 March 2014 00:30 (eleven years ago)

"Gathering in the Head" sounds like some Tea Party album title. Ive seen this list before, I love it

― the Bronski Review (Trayce), Friday, 21 March 2014 00:30 (eleven years ago)

Vicious vices is a quality pleonasm.

― jmm, Friday, 21 March 2014 00:31 (eleven years ago)

Theres a few good band names all up in this.

― the Bronski Review (Trayce), Friday, 21 March 2014 00:31 (eleven years ago)

lol imago

― coops all on coops tbh (crüt), Friday, 21 March 2014 00:31 (eleven years ago)

Haha I just noticed "Salvation Army" is a reason in there.

― the Bronski Review (Trayce), Friday, 21 March 2014 00:32 (eleven years ago)

this thing is so old! i feel like it has been floating around facebook for at least a year.

― we slowly invented brains (La Lechera), Friday, 21 March 2014 00:59 (eleven years ago)

Sounds like you're suffering from Imaginary Female Trouble.

― bi-polar uncle (its OK-he's dead) (Phil D.), Friday, 21 March 2014 01:04 (eleven years ago)

that's why i was institutionalized, but i stay for the art classes

― we slowly invented brains (La Lechera), Friday, 21 March 2014 01:11 (eleven years ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

― System, Monday, 31 March 2014 00:01 (eleven years ago)

ift, tho i cant decide if its the t or the f that's i

― fauxpas cola (darraghmac), Monday, 31 March 2014 00:06 (eleven years ago)

"tobacco & masturbation" cuz it made me think of coffee & cigarettes

― difficult listening hour, Monday, 31 March 2014 00:17 (eleven years ago)

Not only is this thing old but I feel like we've even done it on here before tbh.

― the Bronski Review (Trayce), Monday, 31 March 2014 03:43 (eleven years ago)

this poll is my first encounter. if this poll touches just one heart, is that not enough?

― Belgian Flanders Albums Chart (Sufjan Grafton), Monday, 31 March 2014 03:53 (eleven years ago)

I, myself, am not sure. so I FP'd j. just in case.

― Belgian Flanders Albums Chart (Sufjan Grafton), Monday, 31 March 2014 03:53 (eleven years ago)

^^^ gathering in the head

― j., Monday, 31 March 2014 04:00 (eleven years ago)

^^^ fell from horse in war

― Belgian Flanders Albums Chart (Sufjan Grafton), Monday, 31 March 2014 04:12 (eleven years ago)

they tell me i was so brave

― j., Monday, 31 March 2014 04:15 (eleven years ago)

seduction & disappointment

Isn't this a Momus song?

― ▴▲ ▴TH3CR()$BY$H()W▴▲ ▴ (Adam Bruneau), Monday, 31 March 2014 04:18 (eleven years ago)

i opted for "false confinement". well, i didn't opt for it but you get my point

― invent viral babe (Noodle Vague), Monday, 31 March 2014 07:34 (eleven years ago)

I voted for 'imaginary female trouble', but it's only just occurred to me that this probably means 'imaginary troubles suffered by females' and not 'trouble with imaginary females'

― soref, Monday, 31 March 2014 10:59 (eleven years ago)

Very much the q i posed above

― fauxpas cola (darraghmac), Monday, 31 March 2014 11:15 (eleven years ago)

We've had a lot of fun with dangling modifiers today

― forum enthusiast (wins), Monday, 31 March 2014 15:31 (eleven years ago)

I think it means "dude keeps complaining about PMS".

― Three Word Username, Monday, 31 March 2014 15:58 (eleven years ago)

Gotta go with "novel reading". We're talking seriously insane now....

― Lee626, Monday, 31 March 2014 15:59 (eleven years ago)

While I love the combo of Deranged/Supressed Masturbation, I'm leaning towards Parents Were Cousins right now

― Nhex, Monday, 31 March 2014 16:01 (eleven years ago)

bad whiskey, vicious vices and/or hard study

― robocop ELF (seandalai), Monday, 31 March 2014 16:20 (eleven years ago)

would be the name of my autobiography

― robocop ELF (seandalai), Monday, 31 March 2014 16:20 (eleven years ago)

dont understand the semi-alphabetized sorting.

― white humor blows (Hunt3r), Monday, 31 March 2014 17:52 (eleven years ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

― System, Tuesday, 1 April 2014 00:01 (eleven years ago)

a worthy victor

― Belgian Flanders Albums Chart (Sufjan Grafton), Tuesday, 1 April 2014 00:28 (eleven years ago)

it took a lot of training

― j., Tuesday, 1 April 2014 00:34 (eleven years ago)

u don't just get out of bed one morning and then masturbate for 30 years. you've got to work.

― Belgian Flanders Albums Chart (Sufjan Grafton), Tuesday, 1 April 2014 00:39 (eleven years ago)

TripAdvisor Popularity Index:
#1 of 3 attractions in Weston, WV

― mookieproof, Tuesday, 1 April 2014 00:42 (eleven years ago)

More anti-novel propaganda, reminded me of this thread:

http://24.media.tumblr.com/042de8493e92b1b023236f61bba9d109/tumblr_n3ij4kbNkL1qbl0k8o1_500.jpg

― robocop ELF (seandalai), Friday, 4 April 2014 15:50 (eleven years ago)

real jaw dropper at the end there

― balls, Friday, 4 April 2014 16:23 (eleven years ago)

Indians, man

― Nhex, Friday, 4 April 2014 17:20 (eleven years ago)

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