a question about dating

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So, here's one for all of your knowledgable people: When someone asks for your phone number, and you give it to them but between giving them the number and them phoning you realise you don't like them "like that", what do you do? The key is: not to seem mean, not to assume the person likes me, and not to make it *too* awkward when we run into each other. Is this an impossible quest? What do you do do deflect an interested party you are not interested in?

― scout, Monday, 4 October 2004 01:08 (twenty years ago)

be friendly but not flirtatious

― rainy (rainy), Monday, 4 October 2004 01:10 (twenty years ago)

if you call someone who gives you their number and leave voicemail, are they supposed to call you back

― Professor Challenger (ex machina), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:12 (twenty years ago)

Be friendly but don't commit to making a date. Most people will understand that 'I'm really busy for the next few weeks, let's leave it for a while' means you're not really interested.

On the other hand, if they haven't phoned you yet, maybe they won't. Problem averted if so...

― Archel (Archel), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:18 (twenty years ago)

answer my question

― Professor Challenger (ex machina), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:18 (twenty years ago)

jon, i think that's a grey area

― mark p (Mark P), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:19 (twenty years ago)

Yes, they are 'supposed' to call you back. But voicemail is very easy to ignore, if they wanted to. If you NEED to speak to them directly, call again. If you never get through, they are probably screening their calls and you should give up.

― Archel (Archel), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:21 (twenty years ago)

Voicemail is like the safety net for creepy guys you didn't mean to give your phone number to.

― Danger Whore (kate), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:21 (twenty years ago)

if we exchanged both numbers does that mean genuine interest or does she just want my number in her phone so she will know to ignore my calls?

XPOST, HI KATE I THINK U MAY BE ON TO IT

― Professor Challenger (ex machina), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:21 (twenty years ago)

we talked about bjork :(

― Professor Challenger (ex machina), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:22 (twenty years ago)

You could just mention going out with an S.O early in the phone conversation, but Archel's advice is probably best.

ha, jel giving dating advice, I will go back to listing what CDs I've been listening to.

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:32 (twenty years ago)

Though I guess that wasn't really advice.

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:36 (twenty years ago)

The sooner you can be honest with them, the sooner everyone'll be happy. And it's probably best to avoid the "we can be friends" option as he/she'll probably start off by fauning all over you and end up by resenting you when he/she finally realises that no, you're not going to put out ever.

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:37 (twenty years ago)

But 'Archel's advice is probably best' is the best advice ever jel!

― Archel (Archel), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:38 (twenty years ago)

He has called twice, I got to avert it with leaving a message. maybe i'll try the "I'm really busy for the next forever" and hope he takes the hint? *sigh* it's hard when the person is actually really nice, great etc... but I just don't need another friend to call rarely.

― scout, Monday, 4 October 2004 19:59 (twenty years ago)

If it was me, I would just not answer (assuming it's a mobile and you can see who's calling). I'm not sure that's what you're supposed to do though.

― Cathy (Cathy), Monday, 4 October 2004 20:04 (twenty years ago)

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