Worst music video

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"They're all pretty bad"

I love music videos. All of them — even "Sledgehammer" (I hate "Sledgehammer" but I love the video). The only life decision I've made that I can absolutely say was a good one was NOT to get MTV: if I had I'd have long ago been one of those people you read about, found dead in his flat after no one saw him for a year, trapped under a pile of old newspapers that canted sideways as he watched TV and ate catfood out of a shoe. The TV was still on when they broke the door down! It was Tortoise!!

― mark s, Wednesday, 18 April 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I am still haunted by that young girl dressed up as a bee from the early 80s... what was it, Blind Melon...?

― stevie t, Wednesday, 18 April 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Early 90's and yes, that was Blind Melon

It seems to me that it's easy to point out what's wrong... what's right? Uh-oh... new thread.

― JM, Wednesday, 18 April 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

A Tortoise video? I can hardly contain myself at such an exciting prospect. Still, something for all The Wire *scribes* to get excited about...

― Johnathan, Wednesday, 18 April 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

AAAARRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!

Not the Bee People video... I remember getting into some endlessly long and pointlessly philosophical argument with a hippie about that video while hopelessly off my face on some illicit hallucinageon, possibly while sitting in Union Square.

Utterly TRAUMATISING. The whole thing. ARRRGGGGHHHHH!!!

Damn, the Starship Trooper thing seemed a bit, erm... complicated to be merely a TOTP performance. Or am I thinking of that "Clouds Across Jupiter" song? Either way, I mean *WHAT* was up with those silver leotards and the bit where they all lined up across the stage doing thinly disguised aerobics routines with shiny silver freeweights?

― kate the saint, Wednesday, 18 April 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

That Bee girl video shaved 10 years off my life expentantcy due to the need to drink nonstop to forget it. And now it's been brought up again. Nurse!

― Steven James, Wednesday, 18 April 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Forget the bee girl video, Paul was right. "Hello." Dear god. Actually, all those Lionel Richie videos, to put it mildly, sucked hairy donkey balls. "Penny Lover," I ask you.

Let's see, "Mr. Roboto" by Styx, anything solo by Glenn Frey...

― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 18 April 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Simply put, they can't *all* be bad, as bad is relative. For example, they're all great compared to the videos Puff Daddy made at the height of his success.

On a related note, I can't stand videos made after an artist's death. i.e. "Until the End of Time", "Mo' Money, Mo' Problems", "What I Got"... ewww...

― Keiko, Wednesday, 18 April 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

You know what, Keiko, you're right. In the absence of anything else I nominate 'Puff Daddy''s video for 'Every Breath You Take'. It was so bad that I am finding it hard to type about it.

O, Stevie, I am still haunted by you, dressed as a bee.

― the pinefox, Wednesday, 18 April 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Oh, and I'd like to add: perhaps there's a subcategory of badness, where the record is good (great! sublime!) and the video mediocre, and it thus in a sense betrays the quality of the record. The Smiths were masters at this kind of badness. I think B&S have been, too. I found those early B&S videos pretty irritatingly shapeless and inappropriate.

― the pinefox, Wednesday, 18 April 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Any video shot in a desert or small American town (usually in the desert), with someone driving a big American car (usually a blonde model wearing hideous 70s shades). Or... Graphic Design Company showcases, like that new Robbie Williams video. For goodness' sake, it looks like the intro movie to Worms on the PC! Or... Stone Roses videos. I mean, look at the state of that Fool's Gold vid! Or... the Wonderwall video. Especially because of the bores at school who tried to convince me it was really 'deep and meaningful', or words to that effect. Or... Any Manic Street Preacher vid.

― DG, Wednesday, 18 April 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i was looking at my cd collection to try to have my memory jogged but it is amazing how many records i have where i have never seen a video from the band. but some personal lowlights are anything by steve winwood like 'higher love' or anything by john waite 'missing you' comes to mind or the red hot chili peppers 'under the bridge', that godawful green jelly thing 'little pig'(or whatever it was called).

― keith, Wednesday, 18 April 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

There was a Mick Jagger solo vid in the early/mid-80s, called "Let's Work" or something. Ever desperate to keep up with trends, Mick was wearing a day-glo, spandex leotard. And jogging on the spot. Just a horrible, disgusting sight.

Also recall a Cliff Richard video, late-80s/early-90s, where - ever desperate to keep up with Kylie and Jason - Cliff was wearing bike shorts. And doing aerobics-style choreographed dance moves. Just a disgusting, embarrassing sight.

― AP, Wednesday, 18 April 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I just thought of a really heinous one - Aaron Carter's "Aaron's Party". Why not just call the song / video "Aaron's Ripping Off The Beastie Boys" and be done with it? And why is he wearing pimp clothes?! He's 11 for fuck's sake!!!! And why are all the girls little hoochies when they're probably just as 11 as he is?!? It's disturbing and just plain wrong, and whoever concepted it should be kicked. Plus, the song is easily the worst single ever done by anyone related to the Backstreets, including their hippie sister.

Though it doesn't come close to being as bad as album-only Aaron track, "Internet Girl". AARRRGH.

― Ally, Thursday, 19 April 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

All those shite Michael/Janet Jackson videos with those irritating as fuck dance routines. Although Bad may be the worst of the lot. And word on Puff's "ouch I hurt my head falling from my motorbike, it reminds me of the pain I feel for you Piggy" fiasco.

― Omar, Thursday, 19 April 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Omar, then you must love Paula Abdul's clips as well. Didn't Paula do the dance routines for Janet? Oh talking about Abdul, that clip with Keaunu Reeves. *pah-you-kah*

― my fool name, Thursday, 19 April 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I think they're all horrible, tho' to varying degrees. That current one with thee fellow w/a mirrorball for a head is quite irritating. I did like the bit from "smack my b!+ch up" w/thhe purple vonit, tho. The rest of it sucked.

x0x0

― NoRMaN FaY, Thursday, 19 April 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The new Madonna one gives a whole new meaning to the words pointlessly provocative tat.

― dog latin, Friday, 20 April 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Late entry just in: Travis's 'Sing'.

― the pinefox, Friday, 20 April 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Anything by Robert Palmer from his multiple identical plastic-looking dancing girls phase.

― Sean Carruthers, Friday, 20 April 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

That "cry" video isn't Yes -- it's Godley and Creme, and yes it is horrible.

Yes has had some awful videos, the worst of which being the 9 part pinnacle of primitive music video effects, "Leave it". Anyone remember that?

― Larms, Monday, 23 April 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

That Travis video is a grim thing though not as bad as the one wherein they were chased by an egg. HOWEVER the song is a scandal, as they have seemingly taken their song "Turn" and replaced the word "Turn" with the word "Sing" throughout. As if they weren't lazy enough.

― Tom, Monday, 23 April 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

ten months pass...

I have changed my opinion on the new George Michael single but the clip for Freeek stinks major cyber-doodoo.

― nathalie, Tuesday, 19 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

the new oasis one is spectacularly awful. milk bottle kickers are scary these days don't ya know. the whole house was open mouthed at its badness

― gareth, Tuesday, 19 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I still think the naked Alanis Morissette video is the worst. How could a nude woman be so boring?

― Dave225, Tuesday, 19 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I still think the naked Alanis Morissette video is the worst. How could a nude woman be so boring?

WHEN YOU'VE GOT BUSH FOR MILES. THANK GOD THEY DIDN'T SHOW IT...

― Poops Mcgee, Tuesday, 19 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

eleven years pass...

RECOGNIZE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vW4pTe0yRAc

― rip van wanko, Wednesday, 31 July 2013 22:00 (eleven years ago)

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