i have a record who's hole is off center, what do i do?

I'm not sure how brittle records are, but you can always test a thrift store record. Anyway, if it's not too brittle, just drill a new hole, or drill out the old hole bigger. Find the center by measuring, or even simpler, cut a piece of paper the size (diameter) of the record, and then fold it exactly in half. If the hole's too big, tape a piece of paper on it with a smaller hole. Yeah, paper, that's all you need because the spindle doesn't actually hold the record in place, it's only to guide it when putting it down, so paper would work. Well, it's an inelegant hack, but it's quick and simple...

Ever seen Billy Wilder's "One, Two, Three!" (1961, w/James Cagney)? Some KGB goons detain and interrogate a Soviet dissident who refuses to talk, so they torture him by forcing him to listen to "Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini" over and over and over, but he still doesn't crack. So they drill a second hole about 1cm from the first one, and put the record back on the turntable, spindle through the off-center hole and start playing the record again. And 30 seconds is all it takes.

Or... if you have a turntable that has a removable spindle you play the record and hold your fingernail against the edge and slowly shift the record over until the stylus stops moving back and forth. Then record the f*cker.

I do it all the time with reggae 45s, which are a lot easier due to the big hole; for that I rest my thumb on the spindle and stick the nail of my index finger against the inside edge of the hole (no funny comments please). It's very easy and if you collect JA 45s you'll master it by neccessity.

I don't know how many turntables have removable spindles but my old Rega Planar does. You basically just grab it and pull up hard. You might want to find a user manual for your deck before you try that. This is a good place to start http://www.vinylengine.com

i just bought, among other things, a 7 inch of "video killed the radio star", and then it fell out of the bag on the way home, sat in the sun for an hour and warped. :( i can listen to the second half of the song just fine. sigh.

put it back in the sun for an hour, with a weight on top