Awesome Audiophile Snake Oil

Oh ok like those test tone records and cds they used to sell?

People complain about the extreme stereo separation of Beatles stereo mixes, for example. So this seems like an odd concept to me.

yah I think the whole conceit about that software I mentioned is that it is for music actually recorded in a room with mics a head's-width apart from each other etc, not for more "engineered" stereo images, as surely much more music is.

http://tomross.com/300px-Dummyhead.jpg

disembodied android microphone head OTM

Nah, more like BEEEEP
or BOOOOP
only pretty fast because it's a robot

It's really just adjusting the EQ per speaker to try to make it consistent as it can, I guess. And it doesn't require you to make judgment calls

It doesn't make too much sense to EQ for a point in the room. If you turn down a frequency band at one point in a room, you turn it down everywhere. So if you EQ to make a point to the side better, you are likely making the 'sweet spot' in the center worse. Perhaps it makes a point to the side much better, while only making the center a little worse. It's just too much, imo.

http://tomross.com/300px-Dummyhead.jpg

was this taken from up one of these guys' asses?

Guess at mh's mic: in addition to general EQ, it might possibly do some phase-delay type majic to cancel out unfortunate/unnatural superpositions in one's current location etc? I dunno; a middle C has a wavelength of well above one metre, so it doesn't sound entirely impossible to do this, but on the other hand, reflections from walls etc must complicate things considerably.

was this taken from up one of these guys' asses?

Nah, that's a not entirely unused recording technique.

Buy Sufjan's RKTF Stereo Upgrade System:

Remove the jagged rock from its cardboard housing
Kill a person that owns better stereo equipment than you
Take the stereo equipment
Frame a sleeping drifter by slipping the rock into his or her coat pocket

After setting up the new stereo equipment, press the button labeled "GO!" on our iOS/android app to begin your new listening adventure!

xpost

btw the mobile fidelity 180 gram reissue of "hated in the nation" sound great

stereo field as heard through earphones is seen as the baseline ideal

what absolute twaddle

http://wow.heavylistening.com/

We're all ordering three, right

a woman dropped a promo copy off at my work.
i am scared to listen to it, tbqh. it will probably not live up to my dreams.

Since fake stereo is definitely a form of auditory snake oil, maybe I can ask this question itt: anyone know a nice freeware app which would let me add a non-hideous very slight amount of spread to pure mono WAV files? The simpler the better...

Actually do really want to listen to that WOW record, but I got a Buddha Machine for Xmas, so, y'know...

It does sound pretty fucking fun!

that WOW thing is not snake oil that's a badass piece of work imo

the snake oil that actually works

I want the WOW record. I want 2, actually. Damn. 33.33333 pounds though, fuck!

I'd like to make a similar record, only instead of a steady unending sine wave, it consists of a pulsating sine wave (staccato 8th notes at 120 bpm). if you played two copies at the same time, it would not only highlight the wow and flutter differences on the two record players, but also would create cool steve reich-style phasing as it would be impossible for the two to spin at the exact same speed

Since fake stereo is definitely a form of auditory snake oil, maybe I can ask this question itt: anyone know a nice freeware app which would let me add a non-hideous very slight amount of spread to pure mono WAV files? The simpler the better...

audacity

xpost i would call it PULSING WOW and sell it for 33.222222222 pounds

Cool. is there a particular preset you'd recommend on there?

xpost

also, would buy PULSING WOW

i haven't used audacity in forever. it's possible there's a Spread preset. but if not, here's what ya do:

1. start with a single, mono track.
2. copy the track. now you have two mono tracks.
3. adjust the pan on each mono track however you see fit - one leaning toward the right, one to the left.
4. combine the two tracks into a single stereo track (either by bouncing down or just saving the whole project as a wav or mp3)

if i was fabulously wealthy i really would press some copies of PULSING WOW, along with a series of other minimal concept records gloriously ripped off from the ideas of heavylistening. i'd call my fake label heavenlywhistling, too, just to emphasize what a rip off it was. but the actual final products - the pulsing minimal wav, the collection of harmonic trio waves, etc - would be so great to listen to, regardless of the originality.

but no, what rich people appear to do is purchase additional rooms

Hm, I have a single-sided 7" where the blank B side is grooved with a very faint sine wave. It's much higher-pitched than that and too quiet to listen to without risking an unexpected pop destroying your eardrums but the grooves do shimmer nicely in the light, which is pretty.

I think it's Fridge + D - "Indeguise" but my memory is fuzzy and I'm too lazy to go and look for it:
http://www.discogs.com/Fridge-D-Indeguise/release/724681

It is not the beautiful ART that the Wow record is but then it was less than a tenth of the price, so.

just listened to about 10 minutes of WOW. unimpressed.

If it came as a double pack for you to cue up on two turntables and futz with the pitch control, that would be more interesting.

Or you could do the same for free (in a less tactile manner) in any sound software of your choice, admittedly.

By co-founding HEAVYLISTENING in 2011, his approach towards sound took a more conceptual turn. He is influenced by contemporary art as much as by mainstream popular culture, seeking for universal truth in both Roman Opalka and Jersey Shore.

JWOW

^^^^ winner

just listened to about 10 minutes of WOW. unimpressed.

try again in a cathedral and tell me you're not impressed

Use more than one system to play several records simultaneously and the air around you will start pulsating.

Even audiophiles don't have multiple systems in one room.

also, try looking at the record while listening for the full experience. it has these really cool looking GROOVES in it

JWOW

― ~farben~ (Jon Lewis), Friday, December 28, 2012 2:40 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

^^^^ winner

― i guess i'd just rather listen to canned heat? (ian), Friday, December 28, 2012 2:40 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

J-WIN

ladies man • 22 days ago
me and my girl fuck to this every night

If someone plays WOW and Metal Machine Music at the same time, the universe ends.

PULSING SHAMWOW

http://www.inc.com/uploaded_files/image/170x170/shamwow-bkt_6547.jpg

Even audiophiles don't have multiple systems in one room.

If you're a Linnie, even having a transistor radio in the same room as your system would be considered deleterious.

(I'd try and verify that piece of Linn folklore but it would mean searching audio forums and I've been clean for 10 years, man).

3. adjust the pan on each mono track however you see fit - one leaning toward the right, one to the left.
4. combine the two tracks into a single stereo track (either by bouncing down or just saving the whole project as a wav or mp3)

Hmm, is this going to add any stereo width to the track? Or is it just going to offset a monoaural sound laterally (i.e. pan L-channel more than you pan the (identical) R-channel and the sound is over to the left). You need some delay or reverb or phase reversal to give the illusion of stereo, I think, not merely copying the monoaural track twice and panning.

That sounds right. Reverb with certain frequencies emphasized to left channel, and reverb with other frequencies emphasized to right channel? Something like that?

Never mind that record, just get one of these...
http://www.buchla.com/series200e.html
...and be sure it includes the Polyphonic (FM) Tuner
http://www.buchla.com/model_272e.html

the other side of the 12" that came with vinyl copies of Chapterhouse's "Whirlpool" ("Die Die Die") just had a single tone on it iirc. and there was that Spiritualized "Tones For DJs" that was similar, was meant to be played at both 33 and 45.

((kinda tempted to make a 1" version of Wow for lulu))

hahahahhahaha

http://app.audiogon.com/listings/media-servers-core-audio-technology-kryptos-ultimate-media-server-a-cost-no-object-marvel-2012-12-10-computer-audio-91403

hahahahahhaahahahaha

They have to be asking for at least 6x the cost of components for that box.

I'm going to go back and read this whole thread soon because I love this bullshit.

Hahaha, that's brilliant.

4 TaraFlops
http://markandrewholmes.com/plantation-tara.jpg

There's basically so much bullshit on that page that I'd be quoting at least every other line.

oh cool, I needed a new media server