GTFO rolling worst music of 2014

Here's something I discovered the other day: An EDM album from Megaupload owner, Kim Dotcom

okay I got around it, holy fucking lol

(yes I am dissecting the lyrics of the other songs posted in this thread in order to avoid having to comment on "I wanna dance with a black woman")

And just to emphasize, *nothing* they've released to date suggested they'd ever try anything that wrongheaded. I am completely dumbfounded as to why they thought that would be a good or acceptable idea.

so glad I didn't scroll down before clicking that link. mississippi nailed my experience perfectly. sweet, merciless god.

on the most charitable reading, it seems like postmodern genre satire ('Hello, I am a rock singer, expressing a prevalent rock music trope in its most-naked, least-tolerable form') but even then the punchline-iness of it falls flat for me

I should maybe add that this is my first exposure to the music of Timber Timbre

That Timber Timbre track is somehow harder to get through than the Lenka one.

the video makes it a million times worse

Were it not for THAT opening I could kinda see the video as simply a deliberately skeevy Fire Walk With Me homage and shrug it off. And yet...

OMG thank u for the Kimdotcom tip, wau

just got back from NZ and that dude was everywhere

his album of lol/posi-core self-help bangerz is chillingly "on message" throughout, amazing

I can't believe I'm going to say this out loud, but ... there's something that I kinda like about Rude. I think it's mostly his voice, and I find the melody appealing. The white-boy reggae is regrettable, certainly.

Plus I kinda feel bad for him! He puts on his best suit and goes to ask her dad about marrying his daughter, and he seems sincere ... dad seems like a jerk.

What are the qualifiers for being white-boy reggae?

Asking because seeing the descriptor used so much for a group led by someome who isn't a white boy made me wonder. I wouldn't have used it.

Also I hate the song and think he's the one who comes off as more of a jerk thanks to some of the phrasing ('have your daughter'?)

"I wanna dance
I wanna dance
I wanna dance..."

*okay yeah this sucks but i dunno it's not THAT bad*

"...with black woman"

*click*

― Zen Dawson (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Wednesday, January 29, 2014 8:56 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Exactly this. At 0:05 I was thinking "Shit, what can happen in the next two seconds?" Crazy that someone would sabotage their own song in this way.

I can't believe I'm going to say this out loud, but ... there's something that I kinda like about Rude. I think it's mostly his voice, and I find the melody appealing. The white-boy reggae is regrettable, certainly.

Plus I kinda feel bad for him! He puts on his best suit and goes to ask her dad about marrying his daughter, and he seems sincere ... dad seems like a jerk.

― alpine static, Thursday, January 30, 2014 7:45 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Exactly this. There's just something about this song that manages to beat the odds.

That Kim "Dotcom" Schmitz album sounds like stereotypical German Techno music sometimes but is not that horrible

yeah, the music is competent and hitting the target that it's going for, I think it's just the KimDotCom-ness of it all that amazes me- it's got this manic positivity selfhelp vibe that is really funny to me- dude is so shameless- but yeah, it's not like miles away from, say, the Schlager-Techno of DJ Scooter or something:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygWV__SMt7M

Kim Dotcom reaching out to literally every media outlet available to raise awareness about net neutrality and his cause is more desperate than shameless - he was pretty secretive before the Megaupload bust.

And now he's trying to be the Internet Neutrality Guru

Hey, Timber Timbre, Richard Hawley wants his song back, just so he can write a better lyric.*

*A major lunchbag letdown, this one, as I really liked the first Timber Timbre album.

kim dotcom i love you

but you're bringing me downloads

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BqackdaUED8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DxPDAtWnqN0

EZ Snappin made me listen to this on Facebook so I'm now sharing it with all of you

OMG

that poor woman

holy shit

shaggs'n'b

trying to work out which Sesame Street character he sounds like, think it might be Big Bird

ThatRaw.com Presents

ThatRaw.com Presents D'Angelo & Wesley Willis

ugh Lenka, she was also responsible for this shite

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZ2cftjyHys

major lolz at icejjfish

aw, this is trolling and not serious; i am less interested now
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bgOH9VAh0mM

though i will admit his freestyle covers of "thuggish ruggish bone" and this "woman's worth" have something to recommend them. once.

that windows 8 commercial looks like steve jobs haunting microsoft from the grave jesus

"everryww-h-ee-e-e-rree" love those harmonies lol

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Go3dsyGflGE

We're young hearts, look at us go, all we really need is a stereo
We're young hearts, look at us go, there's no stopping us we will carry on

Gorgon City waitin for love

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXh8B4yWVKk

She is awful all round. Ed Sheeran protege who covered Don't Stop for a John Lewis ad.

I admire her devotion to bringing back chokers.

I feel like someone re/makes this song about every six weeks now.

Yeah, that might have been an interesting track if it hadn't been done dozens of times the last couple years.

oh god that is really bad

the line about "desperation" leaps out of the video and side-eyes the whole song surrounding it and reads it to filth

the real desperation is the music industry desperately trying to comment upon the triumph of social media, as if it were still some kind of older/wiser/truer aesthetically rocksolid platform in some kind of secure position to judge this new upstart- but when it comes up with garbage like this it only reifies its own insecurity and looks even more "tryhard"

music industry, you lookin thirsty

yeah the weird removal really is palpable ain't it
like there should be one about twerking
wait

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=72WhEqeS6AQ

And speaking of twerking...

is billy ray cyrus one of those hollywood parents that lives vicariously through, or rides the coattails of, his daughter's career? this video (which generally seems kinda desperate) playing-up the "twerking" thing is creepy.

Dude's not getting any Miley money anymore, so he had to reboot Achy Breaky.

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/04/06/magazine/the-pernicious-rise-of-poptimism.html

Hope you're not implying by posting that Austerlitz piece that somehow my dislike of Uzi means that I don't like pop music or am somehow akin to Austerlitz.

I like pop music just fine. I just don't like poorly executed bullshit.

No worries if I'm reading you wrong, just checking.

nah he was trolling a whole bunch of threads with that piece it stems from a dogfight over some BS in another thread. long story.

(trust me he feels similarly to the dipshit caucasoid austerlitz)

i think we have a winner for the absolute worst ever, like ever ever
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qLYoJgbybes

that was last year! iirc unperson defended it

oh my b i was only just informed this vomitous genre of "deathcore" is a think that exists

always great to see that some wites still think it's ok to say n---a *backflips into lake of fire*

*thing

I would like to reiterate this appeal

we should really poll these, so many contenders this year

the guitar solo guy with the denim jacket looks so awkward and lost in the group shots outside the house

:( That Lil Dicky song upthread is not even close to his worst song
I am not reposting shit
I want to die

Yeah, that Attila song was from last year. They do have a new album out this year, though - it's called Guilty Pleasure. I wrote a feature on them for Alternative Press. The singer has a solo album coming out next year sometime. Here's the first single/video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_97IcSgDcBo

RIP Uncle John From Jamaica

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=byH-eq_1TFU

http://youtu.be/Bznxx12Ptl0

Yikes

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4kpWkV7IBUw

Outstays its welcome, but better than "Punk Rock 101," and at least not totally underwritten lyrically. Should have mixed up the chorus a bit more, and the video isn't funny enough.

Their follow up single might be worse:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EKIPh1w4s18

And also has a blatant "Call Me Maybe" mention.

calvin harris "open wide" feat big sean ticks so many boxes of badness

it's hard to believe that there is much worse than this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zVzhpkFBFP8