Let us go then, you and I/When the evening is spread out against the sky/Like a tight end playing in the Super Bowl -- The Tortured Poets Department, Taylor Swift, April 19

the song titles are a headfake to make people miss the evil messages of violence that each song will contain

Amnesty International Presents

SIDE A:

Fortnight (ft. Post Malone)
The Tortured Poets Department
My Boy Only Breaks His Favourite Toys
Down Bad

SIDE B:

So Long, London
But Daddy, I Love Him
Fresh Out The Slammer
Florida!!! (ft. Florence + the Machine)

SIDE C:

Guilty as Sin?
Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?
I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)
loml

SIDE D:

I Can Do It With A Broken Heart
The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived
The Alchemy
Clara Bow
Bonus Track: The Manuscript

― Tim F, Monday, February 5, 2024 7:54 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

I 100% unironically believed this entire list was inspired parody

April Fools

Are we sure this isn't coming out on April 1st.

hoping The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived is a Dr Demento-esque novelty track

"Iommi" is the Black Sabbath tribute Swifties had no idea they deserved.

What is this that stands before me?
Figure in black which points at me
Turn 'round quick and start to run
Find out I'm the chosen one
Hell, yeah!

Some people say my love can it be true
Happiness is your eyes when I'm kissing you

https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_fullsize/plain/did:plc:qpqyay6mqatzyyet3jdgxiwi/bafkreigbosz33xvvalqcchln6kixpudbgqjzpdu5bezi2mimikejrpq6iu@jpeg

lmao

i don't know what she's going for but i'm glad she's going for something at least

But Daddy I Love Him is now trending on Twitter

The Smallest Hands Who Ever Lived

deluxe version comes with a pop-up book featuring Travis Kelce

super deluxe same but uncensored pop-up

Clara Bowling Alley

When you hear an Iommi song
I hope you spill your favorite bong

hoping The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived is a Dr Demento-esque novelty track

It'll be a parody of Weezer's The Greatest Man Who Ever Lived.

At least there are no football metaphors, like "Blocked Kick" or "Touchback" or something.

is it just a coincidence that she’s dropping her album on Bicycle Day?

If I could successfully seed this theory on the Swiftie forums Taylor could make Timothy Leary a footnote in history.

Swifties on acid is exactly what 2024 needs, stat.

You belong with LSD

If the Chiefs win the Super Bowl maybe she can call in some favors and do a new version of the "Super Bowl Shuffle," then add it as a bonus track to the special Target-only LP that has a different color cover.

So the suggestion has been made to do a precover of this…

With guests Chief Keef and Chief Xian aTunde Adjuah.

(xp — although if someone wants to recruit them for the precovers, that would be cool too)

I think Taylor likes to give herself impossible challenges, like to write a song with the title “I Can Fix Him (Really I Can)” that isn’t terrible

Is the song called "Bonus Track:The Manuscript" or is it just an indication that "The Manuscript" is a bonus track? Becuz I really wish it is the former

"Fuck is this 'Bonus Track:The Manuscript'? Turn it up!"

"Three Minutes of Silence and then a Hidden Track" (Taylor's Version)

How you could list those but not "Fresh Out the Slammer"...

― Tim F, Monday, February 5, 2024 8:41 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

This is where I audibly said "Oh come on!" to my cat

And what did your cat say in response?

"Things done changed on this side."

"fresh out the slammer" is something they say in pog tournaments iirc. "fresh out" means "polish."

So it's a Polish joke?

I wish Taylor would have included her Jason Aldean diss "Try That in a Ball Gown"

ILM pre-covers when

Chat gpt write me a song called “so long, london” in the style of taylor swift

(Verse 1)
In a city of echoes, where dreams collide,
Beneath the city lights, our love did hide.
Cobbled streets whisper tales untold,
So long, London, the story unfolds.

(Pre-Chorus)
Big Ben chimed, but our time ran out,
Heartbreak's symphony, I can't silence the doubt.
Red buses passing, taking pieces of us,
Fading in the rain, like an old love fuss.

(Chorus)
So long, London, where love once gleamed,
A double-decker ride through our shattered dream.
Your rain can't wash away the memories we've spun,
In this goodbye symphony, the love's undone.

(Verse 2)
Blooms of Hyde Park, witnessed our embrace,
Now they wither, lost in love's grace.
From the Thames to the West End stage,
Our love story ends, turning another page.

(Pre-Chorus)
Towers of London stand so tall,
Yet our love crumbled like the ancient wall.
The Eye keeps turning, but we stood still,
In this goodbye story, we find our will.

(Chorus)
So long, London, where love once gleamed,
A double-decker ride through our shattered dream.
Your rain can't wash away the memories we've spun,
In this goodbye symphony, the love's undone.

(Bridge)
Notting Hill's romance turned to dust,
Our fairy tale, now just wanderlust.
Regent's Park witnessed the tears we shed,
Farewell, my London love, our colors bled.

(Verse 3)
Past the Royal Palaces, where our love was crowned,
Now it's lost, in the silence profound.
St. Paul's Cathedral echoes our goodbye,
So long, London, beneath the tear-streaked sky.

(Chorus)
So long, London, where love once gleamed,
A double-decker ride through our shattered dream.
Your rain can't wash away the memories we've spun,
In this goodbye symphony, the love's undone.

(Outro)
As the Thames flows, so does time,
In the city's heartbeat, a broken rhyme.
So long, London, to the love we swore,
A chapter closes on the Thames' tranquil shore.

Not bad!

There has to be a line about losing a scarf in a double decker

Chatgpt add a line about losing a scarf in a double decker

Lost my scarf on a double-decker ride,
Winds of goodbye, where love can't hide

Love how ChatGPT makes sure everyone notes it has been a good software who's studied its touristic map

Hoping "The Manuscript" is wordplay on "the man you script"

The Man U Script.

The Manus Crypt

pls go away

Not sure which song I'm more excited for "My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys Down Bad" or "But Daddy, I Love Him Fresh Out the Slammer"

Okay pre-cover people, your time is now.

The Tortured Poets Department ILX Pre-Cover Planning Thread

I think Taylor likes to give herself impossible challenges, like to write a song with the title “I Can Fix Him (Really I Can)” that isn’t terrible

well, what would you title a song about Matty Healy

"Love It If You Fucked Off"

Yeah but that backlash as such is kinda...contextual? It's still the number one album in the country and has been since release, whereas a lot of immediate reviews seemed to be thinking 'bleah, nobody will care after first listen.' Not exactly the case!

There's a fair amount of backlash to the maneuvers to keep it at #1 (over Billie Eilish and Charli XCX)

love how her pro's fastidiousness about extending her metaphors gradually turns "down bad" into an entire straightfaced song about fucking an alien

she works so goddamn hard goddammit. why i'm still like miss me with that please.

I am vaguely disappointed that I didn’t get even a slow clap for the above joke

We are simple people.

lol I just now saw it, so consider it clapped.

I'm going to put this album on right now I think. I haven't circled back to it since the first go-round but I heard "Fortnight" on the radio the other day and it sounded good.

love how her pro's fastidiousness about extending her metaphors gradually turns "down bad" into an entire straightfaced song about fucking an alien

― difficult listening hour, Wednesday, 3 July 2024 17:04 (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

My favourite thing about her TBH. If she could chill out for even a moment she would make a great meme page administrator..

So my revisiting of this album yesterday was quite pleasant, although as per usual I got bored and turned it off during "Smallest Man in the World" and didn't get to the bonus disc. It's a good record, though.

I rather liked this piece, YMMV:

https://variety.com/2024/music/news/taylor-swift-eras-tour-impact-1236089525/

Separately, this was good as well, from a different angle:

https://johnpstrohm.substack.com/p/you-better-believe-im-a-swiftie

https://www.usatoday.com/story/entertainment/music/2024/08/07/taylor-swift-cancels-vienna-shows-terrorist-attack/74472897007/

0_O

must be someone who found her music unmemorable

aww bollocks -- unmemorable music merits an unmemorable response, hence my posting here. don't like the music? go bowling, no bombing fer cryin out loud!

but for real they're saying it had ties to isis. like, the extremist terrorist organization, not the metal band.

big sigh. correct response to the whole on her+her team's part, but still... what a world, big sigh.

It already happen at an Ariana Grande concert after all

I guess she’s unmemorable as well