Let us go then, you and I/When the evening is spread out against the sky/Like a tight end playing in the Super Bowl -- The Tortured Poets Department, Taylor Swift, April 19

deluxe version comes with a pop-up book featuring Travis Kelce

super deluxe same but uncensored pop-up

Clara Bowling Alley

When you hear an Iommi song
I hope you spill your favorite bong

hoping The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived is a Dr Demento-esque novelty track

It'll be a parody of Weezer's The Greatest Man Who Ever Lived.

At least there are no football metaphors, like "Blocked Kick" or "Touchback" or something.

is it just a coincidence that she’s dropping her album on Bicycle Day?

If I could successfully seed this theory on the Swiftie forums Taylor could make Timothy Leary a footnote in history.

Swifties on acid is exactly what 2024 needs, stat.

You belong with LSD

If the Chiefs win the Super Bowl maybe she can call in some favors and do a new version of the "Super Bowl Shuffle," then add it as a bonus track to the special Target-only LP that has a different color cover.

So the suggestion has been made to do a precover of this…

With guests Chief Keef and Chief Xian aTunde Adjuah.

(xp — although if someone wants to recruit them for the precovers, that would be cool too)

I think Taylor likes to give herself impossible challenges, like to write a song with the title “I Can Fix Him (Really I Can)” that isn’t terrible

Is the song called "Bonus Track:The Manuscript" or is it just an indication that "The Manuscript" is a bonus track? Becuz I really wish it is the former

"Fuck is this 'Bonus Track:The Manuscript'? Turn it up!"

"Three Minutes of Silence and then a Hidden Track" (Taylor's Version)

How you could list those but not "Fresh Out the Slammer"...

― Tim F, Monday, February 5, 2024 8:41 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

This is where I audibly said "Oh come on!" to my cat

And what did your cat say in response?

"Things done changed on this side."

"fresh out the slammer" is something they say in pog tournaments iirc. "fresh out" means "polish."

So it's a Polish joke?

I wish Taylor would have included her Jason Aldean diss "Try That in a Ball Gown"

ILM pre-covers when

Chat gpt write me a song called “so long, london” in the style of taylor swift

(Verse 1)
In a city of echoes, where dreams collide,
Beneath the city lights, our love did hide.
Cobbled streets whisper tales untold,
So long, London, the story unfolds.

(Pre-Chorus)
Big Ben chimed, but our time ran out,
Heartbreak's symphony, I can't silence the doubt.
Red buses passing, taking pieces of us,
Fading in the rain, like an old love fuss.

(Chorus)
So long, London, where love once gleamed,
A double-decker ride through our shattered dream.
Your rain can't wash away the memories we've spun,
In this goodbye symphony, the love's undone.

(Verse 2)
Blooms of Hyde Park, witnessed our embrace,
Now they wither, lost in love's grace.
From the Thames to the West End stage,
Our love story ends, turning another page.

(Pre-Chorus)
Towers of London stand so tall,
Yet our love crumbled like the ancient wall.
The Eye keeps turning, but we stood still,
In this goodbye story, we find our will.

(Chorus)
So long, London, where love once gleamed,
A double-decker ride through our shattered dream.
Your rain can't wash away the memories we've spun,
In this goodbye symphony, the love's undone.

(Bridge)
Notting Hill's romance turned to dust,
Our fairy tale, now just wanderlust.
Regent's Park witnessed the tears we shed,
Farewell, my London love, our colors bled.

(Verse 3)
Past the Royal Palaces, where our love was crowned,
Now it's lost, in the silence profound.
St. Paul's Cathedral echoes our goodbye,
So long, London, beneath the tear-streaked sky.

(Chorus)
So long, London, where love once gleamed,
A double-decker ride through our shattered dream.
Your rain can't wash away the memories we've spun,
In this goodbye symphony, the love's undone.

(Outro)
As the Thames flows, so does time,
In the city's heartbeat, a broken rhyme.
So long, London, to the love we swore,
A chapter closes on the Thames' tranquil shore.

Not bad!

There has to be a line about losing a scarf in a double decker

Chatgpt add a line about losing a scarf in a double decker

Lost my scarf on a double-decker ride,
Winds of goodbye, where love can't hide

Love how ChatGPT makes sure everyone notes it has been a good software who's studied its touristic map

Hoping "The Manuscript" is wordplay on "the man you script"

The Man U Script.

The Manus Crypt

pls go away

Not sure which song I'm more excited for "My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys Down Bad" or "But Daddy, I Love Him Fresh Out the Slammer"

Okay pre-cover people, your time is now.

The Tortured Poets Department ILX Pre-Cover Planning Thread

I think Taylor likes to give herself impossible challenges, like to write a song with the title “I Can Fix Him (Really I Can)” that isn’t terrible

well, what would you title a song about Matty Healy

"Love It If You Fucked Off"

"Did You Give Me Crabs?"

"I Knew You Were Trouble (When You Were a Shit to Ice Spice)"

“Fresh Out The Slammer” had better be wall to wall slam poetry about the American carcel state (or a 45 second hardcore song)

Out on bail, fresh out of jail, California dreamin'
Soon as I step on the scene, I'm hearin' Swifties screamin'

well, what would you title a song about Matty Healy

"Dont Worry (Your Band's Music Will Still Place High in ILM's Top 77)"

so at the grammys, taylor caught up with boygenius for a photo op. the latter were visibly distressed after having given an emotional interview about sexual assault. julien baker was crying. taylor asked them if she could rest her trophies on their heads for the photo -- the trophies she won by beating them, especially in the best album category.

earlier in the night, when taylor won best album, she dragged a visibly disappointed lana del rey onto the stage and made some condescending remarks to her about how she is "soooo grateful to be her friend." again, she had beaten lana for this award.

is she purposefully humiliating her opponents? like achilles dragging hector's corpse through the streets of troy.

the way i read this, taylor is relishing pop's final triumph over indie. the death of pitchfork is a key context here.

Or maybe she is just awkwardly confusing "friend" with "peer"? I have no idea what her relationship actually is with these people. Maybe she's like Whitney in "The Curse"!

Travis Kelce floating in the sky during the Super Bowl is gonna suck

FUTK

combination of what treesh said and the fact she's basically an overgrown teenager (of the popular-girl variety, taken to its logical conclusion) who's not had to do any real adult stuff ever

my sympathy for her is non-existent tbh but how can she really hope to be taylor swift anyway, such a person is impossible

There was that pretty public thing about a decade ago where Swift’s backup dancers ditched her for Katie Perry mid-tour seemingly because she was distant and not fun. Since then it seems she’s done a lot of photo ops with female artists—Haim, LDR, boygenius—raising their profiles and helping her image.

so at the grammys, taylor caught up with boygenius for a photo op. the latter were visibly distressed after having given an emotional interview about sexual assault. julien baker was crying. taylor asked them if she could rest her trophies on their heads for the photo -- the trophies she won by beating them, especially in the best album category.

boygenius mimed kissing taylor's grammy unprompted. what did that mean???

taylor swift is enormously embarrassing at any given awards show but please stop this ohnotheydidnt shit

FUTK

lol

It already happen at an Ariana Grande concert after all

I guess she’s unmemorable as well