Emma Bunton's new video - in the ideal world every chick would dance around topless with tight blue undies on (or resemble Holly Valance)

And here I was wondering why ILX had suddenly got good again... Sigh.

I know, I know, DNFTT...

Hahahaha, goths are only good things to laugh at. I'm sorry Kate anyone who ever went through a goth state is sooooooo funny. I kinda think of you now as someone to chuckle at. I'm never gonna offend you again, goths are usually living on pretty thin ground and think the world don't understand them so I should be careful.

*My threads are so sexist they make her want to claw her uterus out BUT...

If you read Kate's threads on ILE they're about being shagged until you can't walk and about talking about arse and anal sex! Yes! Calum's threads which are cute and harmless are sexist but Kate's threads are not sexist in the slightest bit. Ah, the lovely world of double standards.

That answer your question you psuedo-liberal moron?

will you do that for me luvvy? will you?

Erm... since when is sex irrelevant in the MUSIC thread. I've said this before - sex and music are inseperable you silly, silly bastard. How worrying that ILM STILL hasn't grasped this...

Why am I a knob, exactly?

http://haxor.slashgod.net/albums/diediedie/aby.sized.gif

this is what a Calum thread is like

And in all my time at uni I've never had conversations where you all sit semi-intelligently debating the ins and outs of pop star attractiveness.

Dope.

What is SO hard about DNFTT?

Calum i defy you to find a thread more inane than this one...i'll admit there's probably a couple of mine that could come close but i'll justify them superbly i promise

its fine talking about sex and music in relation to each other, but you're not actually talking about either with these sort of threads really, these threads are a bit like those old Page 3 stunna captions that say 'as well as glamour modelling Gemma, 19, often helps her Dad out on his fruit and veg stall in the market. we'd love to stop by and sample her melons sometime - and also suck on her massive tits' except you're not even that witty dude

only reason i keep on about it is cos its not true everyone here is a psuedo-liberal reactionary uptight hypocrite, which you seem to think whenever someone criticises your threads - its not the supposed offensiveness, its just the inanity and lack of depth they avail

still at least we kinda agree the White Stripes hype is justified eh?

Anyhow, this thread is fine if you ask me. It's about a new music video, a pop star and even namechecks Holly "Please let me eat your laundry" Valance. What more can you want?

my only point there was your threads only ever seem to turn into a) slanging matches like this or b) nothing at all

Have you read Juila Kristeva steve?

i'm not aware of her work no...does this mean i am uncultured and incapable of composing a decent thread on a web forum?

Steve if you like being 'well read' why not start an ILE thread on Derrida or Foucault?

i never said I personally was well read, but for what its worth i know a few people who have read far more than me yet they still dont seem to come up with anything more interesting or profound in conversation than me

so why dont you start a thread about Kristeva, Derrida and Foucault instead of gibbering on about some pram-faced slapper's pants? come on, educate me with your knowledge and insight of these great writers. serious suggestion, i am not really interested in hurling abuse at you as it turns out.

And what's wrong with starting a thread about a music video which happens to be well horny? Are horny music video discussions now banned from ILM?

of course not, even if i did regard her as a pram-faced slapper (which i don't really deep down in my soul of souls) that doesnt really have anything to do with the fact that she is genetically female...just like calling me a crater-faced cockfarming curmudgeon wouldnt be sexist, but please never call me that or i will cry

And what's wrong with starting a thread about a music video which happens to be well horny? Are horny music video discussions now banned from ILM?

nothing wrong really, its just really fecking dull. sex isnt dull, music isnt dull. sexy music videos are not dull per se. but Emma Bunton is dull as ditchwater. if you'd started a thread about the sexiness of the new Goldfrapp video for example, i'd have probably concurred with no tangible objections.

http://members.fortunecity.com/oops55/emma_bunton1212002.jpg

Sterling fuck off you cock. That's so fucking offensive. I'd really appreciate that comment removed as:

1) It's slanderous
2) It couldn't be fucking further from the truth.

I'm deeply shocked that you'd come out with something as utterly disgusting as that. Rapists should be castrated. Instead you now equal rape with threads about cute pop chicks? How daft is ILM? I mean, I know about psuedo-liberalism on here, I know about geeky guys trying to back up the girls in the hope of cyber sex, I know about Sterling acting like a dick with his posts, but fucking labelling someone who posts threads about cute girls in pop videos as a date rapist is disgusting, offensive and really fucks me off.

I hope some more sensible ILMers will see how shocking and nasty Sterling's comment really is. Fucking shocking.

so Calum, how would you expect people to consider you, based on your threads and comments on this board...assuming you actually care?

I'd expect people to see me as someone that's 100% harmless and now and again posts witty-ish, irreverant threads about males and females. This thread should not cry out anything other than 'cute girl in a pop video' but Sonny has other sinister ideas which make a mockery of ol' Sigmund that's for sure! Not that I expect Sonny has done even any even minor league philosophy to make such ridiculous statements as the one he's come out with, which personally upsets me and makes me wonder if Sonny is hiding some really sinister ideas in his own mind about sexuality.

Sonny, make up your fucking mind, I'm either sinister or geeky you TWAT.

Your opinions offended me, this is my first point. My second point is that you assume wrong. I'm not geeky. But this does not offend me, your comment about being a date rapist offended me and was totally uncalled for.

Secondly, if you check out the sex threads on ILE you'll see plenty of far more sinister stuff than I post here. Kate posted a thread about not being able to walk properly - fair enough, that's HER right (although as I mentioned I think stuff like your sexlife is private, but that's just my own opinion) yet if I, or any other male on ILM, posted a thread with the heading:

"I fucked a girl so good last night she can't walk properly this morning"

I wonder what the ILMers such as yourself would say? This is why I talk about psuedo-liberalism on ILM. It's "liberalism" only when it seems to apply to females on ILM, whom - by assuming that they need your protection - reeks to me of a far, far worse sexism than threads about Emma Bunton's new video ever could.

And she IS trying to sell sex in her new video so why not discuss it?

I'm not in favour of censorship - I just find Sonny's comment slanderous. I'm not going to cry if it stays up - if it stays up it stays up, you know, but my point is that it's totally uncalled for. And some of my threads were removed, so fair's fair...

What's wrong. Unable to think of an informed reply?

And my name is not Calum Roberts.

sonny:

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&q=calum+robert+waddell&btnG=Google+Search

I'm not in favour of censorship - I just find Sonny's comment slanderous. I'm not going to cry if it stays up - if it stays up it stays up, you know, but my point is that it's totally uncalled for. And some of my threads were removed, so fair's fair...

huh?

oh never mind.

just git. go on.

I'm sorry, as irritating and erstwhile stupid as many of the my threads might be, Pashmina is everything that is wrong with people who are repressed.

Sonny, I'll be gitting in a wee while actually... got stuff to do.

oh, blah blah blah, fux0r.

http://haxor.slashgod.net/albums/diediedie/adb.thumb.gif

you stated that i am/was pretending to be female either here or in another thread. where? show me where.

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http://www.pressco.com/images/hallwn2000-2.jpg

As near as I can tell, it's that swans are pretty.

And how many men buy this shit anyway? It is young girls, ironically considering ILM's stance on this topic, that are the one's that buy Ronan, Craig David etc AND Avril, S Club 7 and basically all that Smash Hits crap. Not that I'm complaining, it's just that they are the target audience. The sex in Emma Bunton's video won't sell the music to men, but might sell her new calender or so forth to blokes.

The other thing that really pisses me off about ILM, away from the faux liberalism and outdated take on feminist ideals (not suitable for a rawk and roll forum surely? As stated YOUR MUSIC is played and released by people who, WHISPER IT, are in the business for the SEX and the DRUGS!!!! Don't like it? Bin your records!) is the recent application of class boundaries to talking about sexuality in music. Sonny is really guilty here - "you really should speak about this in an upper middle class Guardian reader sort of way to justify wanting to bone Emma Bunton". I mean - FUCK OFF. Since when did class become a part of discourse on sex?

Well that's my point. If you don't like discussing sexy female rockers then why not start a thread on male rockers? Or even better, go out to a night club and realise that women are free to express their sexuality any way they choose in this country and, quite frankly, good on 'em!

Ah, I can just some ILMers in my local club:

"She's obviously wearing that arse high skirt through force, it's society that forces this upon women, let's speak about this in a mature and relaxed manner as I feel somehow tempted by these wanton vixens and their short skirts..."

ME: "Shut up and fuckin' move yer arse and have a dance you repressed anti-social fool"

"...what is wrong about discussing sex in relation to an artist's music..."

Just realized that the real problem with Calum is not simply that he has a 13 year-old boy's notion of sex, but that he has a 13 year-old boy's notion of "discussing."

Roughly.

There's also an entirely different aspect in what I consider your two truly *offensive* instead of simply crass and boring threads (the ones I briefly locked).

Jesus what a sex obsession, and the fucking desperate hysterical efforts to talk about "down the club with the lads" as if you are actually part of the beer and birds life you fucking covet.

What a twat! You're not fooling anyone, haha, I'll await the lame fucking student humour insult. Quit giving this guy the "pseudo liberal" bullshit argument to hide behind and lets just call a spade a spade, and a fucking sex obsessed recluse a sec obsessed recluse.

Also you keep mentioning Kate's threads as if noone else had complained ahout them before! Catch up!

Don't flatter yourself.

Thus, a scriptwriter has to be a sort of Greek athelete, who throws discuses as well as weights. Greek, because it was the Greek tradition that formulated the rules of comedy and tragedy, poetry and theater. He has to throw weights because to write a script/make a case for (not sure which one he means here- probably both), one has to refute the thesis that there is only one reality. He has to throw weights because the lines that weave the development can sometimes get stuck in one's throat. At other times, he has to throw a discus because fiction is a good way to cut through space and time. At other times, he has to throw a discus because drawn fiction can take us far, take us far away from ourselves and the circumstances surrounding us.

In the yet-to-be-written history of comics, the role of the scriptwriter is yet-to-be-defined. The rarity of expositions honouring an artist is not without reason, after all, nor is the fact that, amongst writing teams, the legendary artist has a tendency to forget his other half.

Apart from the fact that comics operate in an industry which sacrifices everything in the name of product, what reasons could there be for the fact that so few creators are celebrated above and beyond their creations? Goscinny, Christin, Pekar, Gaiman and Moore are writers that have created universes beyond the drawings that gave them a provisory face. It is well known that images exhude the fascination necessary to attract all looks towards a little theater that, in an organic drama, hides some things just to reveal others. But that is not enough to explain the limbo of obscurity to which these weights and discus throwers are regularly hurled, for sporting purposes (dwarf-tossing.) This domestic sociology, too, is yet to be made. Also yet to be researched is the archeology of how exactly the desire for images has been wakened in the head of the artist, as Benoit Peeters said it, a man who, apart from being a thinker, is also an architect of drama and intrigue. He, too, is the man who argued that writing teams are haunted by the slightly renessaince like ghost of the complete artist, and that they can go from this schizophrenia to a highly productive relationship. Neither of them could acheive the alchemy of a drawn story in any other way, since the arts of writing and drawing are so different. The scriptwriter can enlist the aid of everything to fight facts. Even facts themselves. And this is the lesson that Moore has given us, light as a discus, solid like a weight (and leaving us to spin it around before throwing it to the longest distance that we can muster...) Moore has found a Columbus' egg, a crystal clear principle: reality is complex. So complex , in fact, that we can turn it into the heart of a language as escapist (to use a term very dear to my friend Domingos Isabelinho) as comics and other mass products. The English scriptwriter was amongst the first to bring to this world of super heroes, swamp monsters and suicidal anarchists the theme of time. And so he has dealt with feminism, environmentalism, the end of the century, all of these themes within the industry and in a language that seems, at fist sight, conservative.

Soon, he understood that he could, in a great parsdox, control the importance of the artist.

Or, to put it in better words, he soon found out how to choose the right person to put into images what he has already drawn in the written word. More than a writing style, Alan Moore has an universe. According to him, fiction is only filling universes with people. Mood, characters and, of course, time. These are the atoms of creation according to Moore. And this is why, despite the revolution that was Watchmen, Moore is a classic writer. He makes use of solid architecture. No matter how many times the building of the plot spins around, nothing is dropped. There are recurrent images that glue togheter the narrative. There are details which he deals with like no other creator would. He creates time and information while pleading a case with the reader.

He sculpts characters. He defines their quirks and forms, he places them in the exact right time and setting. One needs only to look at the detailed comments in the collected edition of From Hell. Moore always rehearses. Without sacrificing clarity, he tries out different ways of telling stories, he plays with time. When put togheter, his script is a block, a hypnotising sculpture. He learned how to do this (like any good writer) by looking at facts. For reality, besides tough and complex, can also be hypnotic. It fascinates the reader and takes him by the hand, from start to finish, without forgetting his fears or his intelligence. One only needs to read From Hell, a major narrative of evil, a sneaky thing that, without much drama, infiltrates itself into our lives. It might very well knock on anyone's door.

And make itself comfortable. After the various themes of time, or maybe despite them, or maybe because of them, Moore has arrived at death. Well, actually, he has always dealt with that theme of themes.

BY JOHN MOE

- - - -

When Harry Met Sally, They Had Sex with One Another

The Matrix-sex

Those Magnificent Men in Their Flying Machines Are Humping

Mr. Smith Goes to Washington Whilst Having Sex

American History XXX

Reservoir Dogs Humping All over People's Legs

All Quiet on the Western Front Except for All the People Having Sex on the Western Front

O Brother, Where Art Thou Doing It?

Sex Degrees of Sexparation

Akira Kurosawa's Dreams about Having Lots of Sex with People

You've Got Mail, and Also Tons of Sex!

It's a Wonderful Life When You Are Having Scads of Sex with Others

Some Like It Hot, e.g. Hookers

The Day the Earth Stood Still Somebody Somewhere Was Having Sex

Schindler's List of People to Have Sex with a Whole Lot

BY WENDY UNDERWOOD AND KURTIS KOLT

- - - -

Trevorley
Nigelle
Richard-Jane
Barryanne
Nathanessa
Dicka
Tomcilla
Jeffreyette
Penelopete
Chucklene
Horacelia
Genevince
Daphneil