Bad at Rap - The Mixtape and Bonus Poll

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Poll Results

Option	Votes
[11] Vanilla Ice - "Havin' a Roni"	1
[20] Ron Artest - "Michael Michael"	1
[19] Aaron Carter - "That's How I Beat Shaq"	1
[08] Dee Dee King (aka Dee Dee Ramone) - "German Kid"	1
[13] Elvira - "Monsta' Rap"	0
[14] Dan Aykroyd and Tom Hanks - "City of Crime"	0
[15] Surf MC's - "Can't Get a Tan"	0
[16] 2 Bigg MC - "High on Your Love"	0
[17] Joey Lawrence - "I Like the Way (Kick da Smoove Groove)"	0
[18] Gerardo - "My Name Is Not Rico"	0
[12] Biscuit - "Biscuit's in the House"	0
[01] DC Talk - "I Luv Rap Music"	0
[02] Outlaw Posse (f/ David Faustino) - "Brand New Star"	0
[03] Icy Blu - "It's Your Birthday"	0
[04] Mr. T - "I Am Somebody"	0
[05] Darryl Strawberry - "Chocolate Strawberry"	0
[06] Hulk Hogan and The Wrestling Boot Band - "Beach Patrol"	0
[07] A to the D - "The Renegade Jew"	0
[09] Brian Wilson - "Smart Girls"	0
[10] MC Skat Kat and The Stray Mob - "I Ain't No Kitty"	0
[21] Kids Hit Masters - "Crank That (Soulja Boy)"	0

― you are extreme, Patti LuPone. (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 16 July 2015 20:10 (nine years ago)

The Renegade Jew is pretty impressive!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5FnJhHvCAc

― you are extreme, Patti LuPone. (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 16 July 2015 20:23 (nine years ago)

But let's not overlook Icy Blu!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Crx92cM4KM

― you are extreme, Patti LuPone. (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 16 July 2015 20:24 (nine years ago)

Brian Wilson's "Smart Girl" rap is terrible in every conceivable way.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6GpfO7f3xKE

― you are extreme, Patti LuPone. (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 16 July 2015 20:41 (nine years ago)

I'm pretty comfortable blaming Smart Girls entirely on Gene Landy

― Οὖτις, Thursday, 16 July 2015 20:48 (nine years ago)

btw are we voting best or worst here

― Οὖτις, Thursday, 16 July 2015 20:48 (nine years ago)

I never heard Smart Girl before, good god

― The Nation's Top 100 Light Bulb Jokes as judged by Lenny Henry (soref), Thursday, 16 July 2015 20:50 (nine years ago)

xp up to you
i have no secret love for vanilla ice but "havin' a roni" is (maybe for the first time) being unfairly maligned here.

on the other hand:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ylwXjhQTUH4

― you are extreme, Patti LuPone. (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 16 July 2015 20:51 (nine years ago)

from the now justly forgotten late 80's dragnet reboot; i remember this being on friday night videos... paula abdul choreographing dan aykroyd!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pT_QRKfv8H4

― you are extreme, Patti LuPone. (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 16 July 2015 20:56 (nine years ago)

was always perplexed about what a roni was, exactly

― Οὖτις, Thursday, 16 July 2015 20:57 (nine years ago)

i gather you're not a bobby brown fan
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hrW-g2HIOs

― you are extreme, Patti LuPone. (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 16 July 2015 21:00 (nine years ago)

feelin this Elvira track

― Οὖτις, Thursday, 16 July 2015 21:02 (nine years ago)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OfhhWA9GF0M
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mn30RPpTsDo
seeing modern day carter / shaq proportions is very wow

― you are extreme, Patti LuPone. (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 16 July 2015 21:31 (nine years ago)

it's kind of a miracle that Aaron Carter isn't some quasi-criminal drug addict at this point (altho he did file for bankruptcy)

― Οὖτις, Thursday, 16 July 2015 21:32 (nine years ago)

ok I'm cuttin this soulja boy thing off early sorry

― Οὖτις, Thursday, 16 July 2015 21:34 (nine years ago)

not, by and large, a fan of the "lol famous" or "lol nostalgia" tracks on here so i can't be too snide to Mr. T or Hulk Hogan or Ron Artest or Darryl Strawberry.

― you are extreme, Patti LuPone. (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 16 July 2015 21:38 (nine years ago)

that's not even the best rap track off that hulk hogan album (that would be hulk rule's or "I want to be a hulkamaniac")

― Rave Van Donk (jim in glasgow), Thursday, 16 July 2015 21:41 (nine years ago)

i dunno, this seems like it might be difficult to put into the mix
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y_6h4C23P3Y

― you are extreme, Patti LuPone. (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 16 July 2015 21:47 (nine years ago)

lol this daryl strawberry track

― Spottie, Thursday, 16 July 2015 21:49 (nine years ago)

this brian wilson track is just basically an animal collective song no?

― Spottie, Thursday, 16 July 2015 21:54 (nine years ago)

i will always ride for the surf mcs

― lil dork (Whiney G. Weingarten), Thursday, 16 July 2015 22:00 (nine years ago)

yeah I actually kinda liked that one, it does have a sub-Beasties vibe

― Οὖτις, Thursday, 16 July 2015 22:03 (nine years ago)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8jmhlyuxULI

― you are extreme, Patti LuPone. (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 16 July 2015 22:05 (nine years ago)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJSZ1TwjcsQ

― you are extreme, Patti LuPone. (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 16 July 2015 22:07 (nine years ago)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9oR2EmU854

― you are extreme, Patti LuPone. (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 16 July 2015 22:10 (nine years ago)

truly the golden age of rap

― Οὖτις, Thursday, 16 July 2015 22:10 (nine years ago)

they still make RAP COMMERCIALS
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=caomY5CAjwI

― you are extreme, Patti LuPone. (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 16 July 2015 22:11 (nine years ago)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=45mbVQuJ_qA

― you are extreme, Patti LuPone. (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 16 July 2015 22:13 (nine years ago)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=flcwsaZYCIs

― you are extreme, Patti LuPone. (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 16 July 2015 22:15 (nine years ago)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXOa-WE0l2M

― you are extreme, Patti LuPone. (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 16 July 2015 22:16 (nine years ago)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oLX30ijbM2Q

― you are extreme, Patti LuPone. (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 16 July 2015 22:17 (nine years ago)

this is my new favorite thread

― lil dork (Whiney G. Weingarten), Thursday, 16 July 2015 22:22 (nine years ago)

I guess this is the UK equivalent of the rapping mcnuggets

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fr9_VTupQCc

― Balkan-Boogie (soref), Thursday, 16 July 2015 22:23 (nine years ago)

omg

― Οὖτις, Thursday, 16 July 2015 22:24 (nine years ago)

the OG in my mind
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uI3rO3PbYOo

― you are extreme, Patti LuPone. (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 16 July 2015 22:29 (nine years ago)

I am shocked and appalled at myself by remembering every bit of that Perfect Strangers/Head of the Class commercial.

Although, I am Johnny Fever, so I was in it I guess.

― Johnny Fever, Thursday, 16 July 2015 22:30 (nine years ago)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EhE5i1KOrtI

― you are extreme, Patti LuPone. (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 16 July 2015 22:30 (nine years ago)

rare example of jazz rap advertising
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K5jKLB95Sn0

― you are extreme, Patti LuPone. (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 16 July 2015 22:33 (nine years ago)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BpjbKUEXyGc

― you are extreme, Patti LuPone. (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 16 July 2015 22:33 (nine years ago)

(spoke too soon about the og rap)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m752qiGqSm4

― you are extreme, Patti LuPone. (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 16 July 2015 22:36 (nine years ago)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0G0LlXv-nyI

― you are extreme, Patti LuPone. (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 16 July 2015 22:37 (nine years ago)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-n5W9exsOU

― you are extreme, Patti LuPone. (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 16 July 2015 22:46 (nine years ago)

Fat Joe, Common, Goodie Mob, Mack 10 and Bam in Voltron robots for Sprite
it was a different world
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IkODvs4grqE

― you are extreme, Patti LuPone. (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 16 July 2015 22:49 (nine years ago)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qYWV4vYG-B8

― Balkan-Boogie (soref), Thursday, 16 July 2015 22:53 (nine years ago)

Fat Joe, Common, Goodie Mob, Mack 10 and Bam in Voltron robots for Sprite

lol I remember this ad getting a couple pages in The Big Payback

― Οὖτις, Thursday, 16 July 2015 22:55 (nine years ago)

my fave:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hiKLAH7N-lg

― Cory Sklar, Thursday, 16 July 2015 22:55 (nine years ago)

https://youtube/LGvpIFW5tHc?t=3m2s

― Balkan-Boogie (soref), Thursday, 16 July 2015 22:59 (nine years ago)

^^ 'the munster rap' from the munsters today

― Balkan-Boogie (soref), Thursday, 16 July 2015 23:00 (nine years ago)

don't think that worked, it starts at about 3 minutes in

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGvpIFW5tHc

― Balkan-Boogie (soref), Thursday, 16 July 2015 23:02 (nine years ago)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0VgjnvJPp2o

― Balkan-Boogie (soref), Thursday, 16 July 2015 23:17 (nine years ago)

that transformers rap doesn't rhyme in any way

the overwhelming cynicism regarding rap as having any potential qrtistic quality or staying power is retroactively hysterical

― you are extreme, Patti LuPone. (forksclovetofu), Friday, 17 July 2015 02:24 (nine years ago)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MkZ8Wpcz2Zg

― you are extreme, Patti LuPone. (forksclovetofu), Friday, 17 July 2015 02:27 (nine years ago)

every single ad has the same "flow"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7XeJ-jQdta0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JcTyiUa-MGw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0whqNAN-wX4

― you are extreme, Patti LuPone. (forksclovetofu), Friday, 17 July 2015 02:29 (nine years ago)

where do you go to hire somebody to rap about cornflakes or paper towels or whatever? is there a directory of session rappers you can consult?

― Balkan-Boogie (soref), Friday, 17 July 2015 10:57 (nine years ago)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1AVvvVBPKTo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QdJgLa8__pU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6BJW7vQ9d3I

― you are extreme, Patti LuPone. (forksclovetofu), Friday, 17 July 2015 15:05 (nine years ago)

props to the bing crosby sugar crisp bear for actually trying

― you are extreme, Patti LuPone. (forksclovetofu), Friday, 17 July 2015 15:05 (nine years ago)

i'm aware this is common enough to not really merit singling out but given it is stuck in my head even today
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jqQwzgixHAM

― you are extreme, Patti LuPone. (forksclovetofu), Friday, 17 July 2015 15:10 (nine years ago)

three months pass...

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

― System, Friday, 30 October 2015 00:01 (nine years ago)

"roni" is short for "tenderoni"

― A True White Kid that can Jump (Granny Dainger), Friday, 30 October 2015 00:05 (nine years ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

― System, Saturday, 31 October 2015 00:01 (nine years ago)

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