PlayNetwork's Top 20 most played Christmas songs in-store for 2015

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From The A.V. Club:

Unlikely challengers for the P.A. system holiday crown, The Shins have successfully deposed Mariah Carey as the undisputed queen of music you grow slowly annoyed by while doing last-minute Christmas shopping at the mall. For 20 years, Carey has held that holly-festooned, commercially acceptable throne with her alternately breathy and poppy “All I Want For Christmas Is You,” a song scientifically designed to be just barely tolerable for the length of time it takes to walk from one end to the other of an H&M.

But now, according to the taste enforcers at PlayNetwork (the company that helps more than 400 companies design their in-store playlists), Queen Carey has been booted down the chimney to number two. In her place: The Shins, covering Paul McCartney’s yuletide HateSong candidate, “Wonderful Christmastime.”

It’s not clear what a cover of one of the least essential songs ever written by a member of the Beatles is doing playing in so many stores—it’s possible that people are just relieved to have a version that doesn’t sound like Sir Paul gets gunned down in a drive-by synthesizer battle halfway through its run—but it doesn’t change the omnipresent holiday fact: Enter a mall this year, and you’re going to hear indie rockers crooning “Ding dong, ding dong” until your ears start to bleed. (Work at a mall this year, meanwhile, and you’ll feel the song slowly become tattooed to the inside of your brain.)

The Shins find themselves presiding over a list that proves the old holiday rule: release a commercial cover of a Christmas favorite, and you’ll never go unplayed again. After all, where but in the heart of the capitalist Christmas spirit could Coldplay, Christina Aguilera, and Train—that’s right, “Drops Of Jupiter” themselves—appear together on a playlist of heavily rotationed tunes? It’s a Christmas miracle, folks.

Vote for your favourite, or at least the one you are least sick of hearing by the end of the current holiday shopping season. Poll conveniently left open until roughly around store-closing-time on Christmas Eve.

Poll Results

OptionVotes
The Waitresses “Christmas Wrapping” 11
Darlene Love “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)” 9
Mariah Carey “All I Want For Christmas Is You” 5
Paul McCartney “Wonderful Christmastime” 5
Elvis Presley “Blue Christmas” 3
Vince Guaraldi Trio “Christmas Time Is Here” 2
The Shins “Wonderful Christmastime” 1
Bing Crosby “White Christmas” 1
Train “What Christmas Means To Me” 0
Christina Aguilera “Christmas Time” 0
She & Him “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” 0
Jack Johnson “Someday At Christmas” 0
Pentatonix “The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire)” 0
Sam Smith “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas” 0
Kelly Clarkson “Underneath The Tree” 0
Sharon Jones & The Dap Kings “White Christmas” 0
Jose Feliciano “Feliz Navidad” 0
Michael Buble “A Holly Jolly Christmas” 0
Ella Fitzgerald “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas” 0
Coldplay “Christmas Lights” 0


Fetty Wap Is Strong In Here (cryptosicko), Sunday, 13 December 2015 04:02 (ten years ago)

I will never tire of Darlene Love.

Fetty Wap Is Strong In Here (cryptosicko), Sunday, 13 December 2015 04:03 (ten years ago)

i kinda liked this glazed droneish wonderful christmastime cover cassie ramone from vivian girls just did

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6gQATc51nWk

it really is just the most insulting song, tho the synths are not the problem imo. anyway, wish the drifters were on here.

denies the existence of dark matter (difficult listening hour), Sunday, 13 December 2015 04:48 (ten years ago)

Sam Smith “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas”

ok gross

qualx, Sunday, 13 December 2015 08:57 (ten years ago)

i love christmas music and hate the avclub so that blurb is already giving me a headache from eyerolling (you can really only complain about wonderful christmastime if you're a brit tbh)

i started working at a big box bookstore during christmas season when the soundtrack was already playing 24/7 and there were only a couple stinkers (all i want for christmas is my two front teeth and... lol "christmastime in tinseltown again" by big bad voodoo daddy, apparently) and some really great ones i hadn't heard, this very pretty "we need a little christmas", and the first i ever heard of sarah mclachlan's fantastic version of "song for a winter's night" which i guess isn't exactly a christmas song but w/e

as soon as the 26th hit and the soundtrack switched back over it was probably the worst thing that ever happened to anyone in the history of the planet earth. it was SO BAD. i've worked a lot of years in service jobs with shitty inoffensive schmaltzy indie crap soundtracks and it was never as bad as it was in books-a-million. literally the only song i didn't hate was by MUSE. i don't know any other songs by muse but that one muse song was like the sweet release of death every time it came on. it wasn't "mountain sound" by of monsters and men so it was basically the greatest song ever recorded. i missed that christmas music so much. this was literally a factor in my quitting. fuck books-a-million. christmas rules.

qualx, Sunday, 13 December 2015 09:19 (ten years ago)

i worked at a movie theater when the rent trailer was out and had to listen to the first ten seconds of seasons of love a million times a day and that was better

qualx, Sunday, 13 December 2015 09:23 (ten years ago)

qualx gloriously otm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_Gry91znr8 (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 13 December 2015 09:43 (ten years ago)

"Wonderful Christmastime" (Macca's version; haven't heard the Shins, but then again, I've yet to start my shopping this year) is a plague here in Canada, too.

Fetty Wap Is Strong In Here (cryptosicko), Sunday, 13 December 2015 16:08 (ten years ago)

I'm with you qualx on the snooty avclub tone. didn't that Sharon Jones just come out this year? assholes.
I'll never tire of 'Christmas Wrapping'.

campreverb, Sunday, 13 December 2015 16:39 (ten years ago)

I'm not sure they were dissing all of the songs on the list.

Fetty Wap Is Strong In Here (cryptosicko), Sunday, 13 December 2015 16:41 (ten years ago)

Never heard this Waitresses number before, thumbs up to that one. Neat that they did one.

Doctor Casino, Sunday, 13 December 2015 16:55 (ten years ago)

wow how have you missed that, it's a classic

Shkreli, Martin & Wu (some dude), Sunday, 13 December 2015 17:17 (ten years ago)

lol i didn't know for years that they had done anything other than "Christmas Wrapping"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_Gry91znr8 (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 13 December 2015 18:06 (ten years ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

System, Wednesday, 23 December 2015 00:01 (ten years ago)

The Waitresses are quite good at Christmas shopping, at least they know what boys like.

Mark G, Wednesday, 23 December 2015 15:29 (ten years ago)

this list is like half-awesome/half-barf.

billstevejim, Wednesday, 23 December 2015 16:34 (ten years ago)

had occasion to revisit that kelly clarkson christmas record and the kurstin cowrites are good enough that they made me bummed out about PIECE BY PIECE

anyway voting for mariah

maura, Wednesday, 23 December 2015 18:30 (ten years ago)

feel like I've heard various versions of "This Christmas" about 50 times more often this year

miss me belial (crüt), Wednesday, 23 December 2015 19:06 (ten years ago)

'Christmas Wrapping', easily - it's the only one of these I've heard when I've been out Christmas shopping and I've thought "ah, it's so fucking good to hear this" ... I hate 'Wonderful Christmastime', and I'm a McCartney fan! Porky Pig's version of 'Blue Christmas' is better than Elvis'

Turrican, Wednesday, 23 December 2015 19:12 (ten years ago)

Bing Crosby > Jose Feliciano > Darlene Love is my gut reaction to this list

miss me belial (crüt), Wednesday, 23 December 2015 19:16 (ten years ago)

xp I too will still ride for Seymour Swine

miss me belial (crüt), Wednesday, 23 December 2015 19:17 (ten years ago)

1. "Christmas Wrapping," 2. "Christmas Time Is Here," 3. "Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)." If either Slade's "Merry X'mas Everybody" or Guaraldi's "Linus and Lucy" were here, that'd be my #1.

clemenza, Wednesday, 23 December 2015 19:28 (ten years ago)

Awww yeah!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AjxiLtw8LnI

Turrican, Wednesday, 23 December 2015 20:06 (ten years ago)

til pentatonix is not monotonix

things make sense again

franklin, Wednesday, 23 December 2015 20:41 (ten years ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

System, Thursday, 24 December 2015 00:01 (ten years ago)

I dunno that I've ever heard "Christmas Wrapping"

miss me belial (crüt), Thursday, 24 December 2015 02:39 (ten years ago)

I only heard it for the first time one or two years ago. It's cool, but better than Darlene Love?! Maybe if I'd grown up with it...

Bitch I'm in the 2112 (cryptosicko), Thursday, 24 December 2015 03:10 (ten years ago)


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