bad lyrix, the crop ov 2002

¡ th¡nk ¡ read someone here (¡ seem to remember ¡t be¡ng Tom, but ¡ must be wrong ¡ th¡nk) say¡ng that lyr¡cs don't matter. Probably ¡n most cases th¡s ¡s correct, ¡ mean, most lyr¡cs aren't part¡cularly great, but ne¡ther are they rubb¡sh, r¡ght? The sort ov lyr¡cs ¡ l¡ke best as far as P0P P00P goes are those found ¡n ep¡c d¡va cheese trance - ¡e brutally exc¡se all extraneous mater¡al and concentrate on thee bas¡x0rz - ¡F We DoN'T GeT ¡T oN R¡GHT NOW, THEN THE WORLD ¡TSELF W¡LL COME TO AN END & WE W¡LL ALL D¡E!@#!@#!@# That's the best. ¡'m talk¡ng about En-trance, bas¡cally. Here are s0me Xamplez ov what ¡ th¡nk ¡s the worst. ¡ am concentrat¡ng on rekk¡ds currently new & ¡n thee chartz, coz all the class¡x0r sux0r357 shake & cough/Nabokov lyr¡x0rs we already know about ¡ th¡nk:

M¡lky s¡ngle => "the way you k¡ss/the way you d¡p ¡ns¡de me" makes me feel a b¡t queasy, probably b/c ov thee dr¡ppy/h¡ppy fem vox s¡nger and thee general abjex0rt female surrender nature ov the lyr¡c wh¡ch=k-sux0r for me anyway. "Don't ever change/¡ l0ve u just the way u ah-are" yuk.

P¡nk "Just l¡ke a P¡ll" => Yes, so you're ly¡ng there on the fl00r, and then someone or other ¡s just l¡ke a p¡ll/ mak¡ng j00 ¡ll, then yr st¡ll ly¡ng there, and yr fellah ¡s st¡ll just l¡ke a p¡ll/mak¡ng u ¡ll. What happens next? ¡ want some k¡nd ov resolut¡on. ¡ f¡nd th¡z very annoy¡ng \/\/hen ¡ h34r rubb¡sh .

Blue "One Love" => "One Love/for the mother's pr¡de" Er, "One l0ve" for the cheap wh¡te sl¡ced loaf? LOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLL. BTW A wh¡le ago, ¡ saw a mother's pr¡de del¡very trux0r that someone had peeled some ov the letters off. The blurb on the s¡de sa¡d:
"everyone needs a l¡ttle moth p ¡ e"
¡ thought that ruled. The b¡t at the end ov Blue's s¡ngle, where ¡t goes ¡nto th¡s ¡ncred¡bly crap pseudo off-beat reggae b¡t does not rule. Nor does thee couplet "one love/for the c¡ty streets/one love/for the h¡p hop beatz" The hyster¡cal teenage gurlz who are phon¡ng Ms Sara Cox th¡s week ¡n thee hope ov meet¡ng one ov Blue do rule, tho' they sound very fr¡ghten¡ng & ¡ would not l¡ke to meet any ov them.

JuST!|\| T!MB3RlaK3 S¡NGLe => "Here baby, hold my jax0ret" RoWR \/\/o\/\/ just¡n, be st¡ll o my beat¡ng heart etc etc 3y3 am all j0rz juzt!|\| cuz 3y3 k4nn0t rez!zt such a k-k3wl chat-up l¡ne, l¡ke.

j-l0 S¡ngle => "Don't be fooled by the rox0rs that ¡ got./ ¡'m st¡ll, ¡'m st¡ll jenny from the blox0r/used to have a l¡ttle, now ¡ have a lot/no matter where ¡ go ¡ know where ¡ came from.
Oh, come off ¡t. Th¡s ¡z not what ¡ want from a d¡va. "Look at my rox0rs/you can't afford them/because you are a loser". That ¡z more l¡ke ¡t

Nelly => "D¡ll3ma" "coz that'z gangstaa-aa-ah/and ¡ got spec¡al ways to thank ya-aa-ah"
1/ you are not a gangsta, fux0r, you are a POPULAR ENTERTA¡NER. 2/ "spec¡al ways to thank yar" ¡f u actually are a gangster presumably means stor¡ng drugs ¡n ones house and putt¡ng one on the game. 3/ ¡f you actually do want to cop off w/someone else's SO, go ahead and do so, but please do not get all self r¡ghteous & moral¡st¡x0r abt ¡t, r¡ght? Th¡s rekord = sux0r, and ¡ actually turn the rad¡o off, coz the t¡nkly v¡bes & syrupy str¡ngs make me feel ¡ll.

Unknown dance mus¡k trax0r => "the earth shaker/the earth quaker/the earth shaker/the earth quaker/the earth shaker/the earth quaker/ the earth shaker/the earth quaker/ the earth shaker/the earth quaker/ the earth shaker/the earth quaker/" (etc unt¡l yr ears bleed) Please make ¡t stop.

Xtina ARGHuilera "Dirrty" => "I need something to get me off/sweat until my clothes come off" As grim and ugly as the sweaty palms ov a man browsing pr0n at a newsagents.

This is me being a h4t4 today. You may join in, or u may call me out as u please, fux0rz.