search and destroy - songs about unrequited love

Billy Bragg's The Saturday boy (or girl?) - snip "In the end it took me a dictionary to find out the meaning of unrequited/while she was giving herself for free at a party to which I was never invited."

What was the name of that band that sang "it's funny how the girls you fall in love with never fancy you, it's funny how the ones that you don't do"...it's the only one that springs to mind at the mo...it was some early 90's indie-pop song thingie.

that was the excerable Airhead

thanks! I think a friend of mine has their album!

See Freaky Trigger passim for musings on this.

It's a close thing but my favourite, ultimately, is probably "Consolation Prize" by Orange Juice, cause it's funny as well as heartfelt: "I wore my fringe like Roger McGuinn / I wore it hoping to impress / So frightfully camp it made you laugh / Tomorrow I'll buy myself a dress."

"Willing To Wait (to be with you)" by Sebadoh. Or most sebadoh, actually. Ah! Here's a poser: Non-indie-rock songs about unrequited love? Then we turn, of course, to R&B which is full of them, especially lately. "Brown Eyes" by Destinys Child is a good one. "I Will Still Love You" by Britney?

You heard any Daniel Johnston? Well, he's done the best and possibly worst in unrequited love songs. He's done most of the bits in between too... in fact, he's written the book. And what a beautiful, heartbreaking book it is.

'Laurie' is particularly beautiful.

The Kinks: 'See My Friends' — unrequited *something*...

"My Favorite Dress" and/or "Dalliance" and/or...well, pretty much 99% of the catalogue of the bizarrely much-maligned WEDDING PRESENT...whom I happen to love, but that I know many loathe. Sorry kids.

Other ideas: "I Want You" by Elvis Costello, "Something I Can Never Have" by Nine Inch Nails (sorry, it's a good song about urequited love...so sue me!), "Does Everyone Stare?" by the Police (Stewart Copeland's finest lyrical hour), "I Hope You're Happy Now" by Elvis Costello (or is that just a jealousy song?), "Compulsion" by Martin Gore (which is actually a cover, I believe, but I'm not sure of who) ....and loads of tracks by Curve and Lush (if you care about such mid-90's indie things).

:::sigh::::: unrequited love. I need a beer now.

Can't believe I forgot this one, a true faaaacking classic in unrequitedness:

"What Do I Get?" by Buzzcocks

Mark S, as often, is on the money about "See My Friend". Little England be damned: *this* is the best Kinks single.

Oh. "Nobody" by Momus.

I'm not going to complain about NIN there, Alex. With Dan and me around, you'll always have plenty of synth/industrial/goth company, so smile! ;-)

Hm, my choice. Actually probably something by the Kitchens of Distinction...

"Now that you've made me want to die/ you tell me that I'm unboyfriendable"

Ah yes! And half of the Elvis Costello catalogue. Esp. "I Want You" and "I'm Not Angry."

Here's a question: Do unrequited love songs work in 2nd and 3rd person?

'i'm in love with a girl who doesn't know i exist'

or pretty much any other another sunny day song- 'rio', 'green', etc.

Always liked "Downtown Train" by Tom Waits, then Patty Smyth, then Rod Stewart. Wasn't so believable when Rod sang it, tho' he sang it well.

Search: Donovan's "Catch The Wind." The Tempts' "I Can't Get Next To You." And probably some Magnetic Fields songs.

Destroy: The Pretenders' version of Radiohead's "Creep."

The best unrequited love songs are the ones that light up the delusions of the lover at the same time as making them sympathetic - unrequited love being a basically selfish act (and why not?). So The Smiths' "Reel Around The Fountain" combining mindfuck gameplays ("People see no worth in you / Oh, but I do") with tenderness and bathos. The Smiths, as I discovered at 15, are good on unrequited love generally.

So also another perennial favourite, Smokey Robinson And The Miracles' "Come Round Here (I'm The One You Need)" where a potentially spectacularly arrogant chorus - "Well I may not be the one you want, baby / But I'm sure as hell the one you need" - is redeemed by the sheer desperation in the performance.

My only recommendation for any readers unlucky enough to be in the throes of unrequition is to take a cold shower, avoid every song mentioned on this thread, and go and listen to some happy hardcore.

onna smokey tip, don't forget 'baby baby don't cry' (perhaps the best "your boyfriend, my best mate, is being a twat to you, so how about you come round mine and i ball you till the sun comes up?" song ever. or the early doo-wop 'you can depend on me', i just think that's utterly gorgeous, so fragile and yet so charming.

but my favourite unrequited classic would have to be 'peephole' by guided by voices, wherein robert pollard idly lists the (very) various reasons why he loves the subject of the song, before slipping in the line 'i love you / i must confess' as if he's scared she'll hear what he said and reject him then and there, before going 'dee dee dee dee' along with melody, moments before the tape disintegrates for the last time in tobin's 4 track.

hon mention: sugar 'your favourite thing', stevie wonder's 'too shy to say', the temptations 'just my imagination', pearl jam's 'i got ID'

Roxy Music's "In Every Dreamhome A Heartache." Maybe the inflatable doll can only acquiesce--but can it requite?

Sebadoh's "Willing To Wait" and maybe "Together Or Alone" too. And in a more generalized unrequited-everything manner, maybe The Smiths' "How Soon Is Now" and The Replacements' "They're Blind".

r&b/soul is a treasure trove of unrequited love songs. someone's always getting their heart torn out. off the top of my head, otis redding's "i love you more than words can say" and gladys knight's "if i were your woman." i can't really make out what's going on in prince's "the beautiful ones" but he suuure sounds tormented.

Oh, "Consolation Prize," which was mentioned earlier. So self-effacing, but in such a charming way. Second for me would be "Wet Blanket" by the Chills.

"How can I say I Love You to an" Answering Machine, Replacements. You Little Theif by Feargal Sharkey. If You See HEr say Hello by Dylan, aslo by Bob but in reverse It Ain't Me.

1. Blimey - there's another 'stevie t'.

2. Tom: yes, sure the Smiths are great on unrequited love, but I think your take on 'Reel Around The Fountain' is over-elaborate. Or perhaps I mean, simply, that I don't read / hear it quite the same as you.

3. I guess the best unrequited love song is the one you go and write yourself.

Almost every country song ever made. "Crazy Arms" sung by many. I like the Willie Nelson and Ray Price duet. Crazy arms, that long to hold somebody new / My yearnin heart keeps sayin - you're not mine / My troubles might go soon to another you'll be with / And that's why I'm lonely all the time.

"Cold Cold Heart" by Hank Williams Sr., in which the addressee is accused of letting her past troubles cloud her judgement about the man standing right in front of her.

Neither of these examples acknowledges the singer's selfishness; us 'murkins were probably never as self-referential as Morrisey.

yeah country has the best ones...george jones, "He Stopped Loving Her Today" (you find out why after the 1st chorus - 'cause he's dead.)

i remember the patti smith group's "we three" being a somehow compassionate rejection song from the pov of the object of unrequited love ("you say you love me/i love another/say you pray for me/pray for your brother").

If you're a chick, the best songs to listen to if you're in this spot are The Letter by Natalie Merchant and Untouchable Face by Ani DiFranco. One's sappy, and one's really pissy. Great combination when some schmuck snaps your heart in half.

only in dreams.
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