My vote for the worst song ever recorded

Possible worst, nonetheless

"I'm Down 4 U" by Ja Rule and his Bitches: A series of women pledge their troths to Ja Rule, who questions their love and then decides he'll keep them all. Oh, and he does all this while trying to take what must be a collossal dump.

"The Next Episode" by Dr. Dre. Chosen for my inability to remember a second of it after so many plays on MTV. I can't believe he made us chill damn near a decade for this.

"Courtre De Sexisme" or whatever the hell its called, opening track to Sonic Youth's A Thousand Leaves. It's only a kittteeenn! Possibly their most annoying stroke. They tried again on NYC G&F's "Lightnin" but the outcome was too "ambient" to sink as low.

"Never Too Far Away" from GLITTER! and that first single off the new album by Mariah Carey. I swear, I cannot hear these ballads without imagining a choir of howling dogs with her. Makes her odes to rappers' cum sound pleasantly vapid by comparison.

I'd go with "What's Up" by 4 Non Blondes or the disco staple that is "Born to Be Alive," personally, although you're right...."Cotton Eye Joe" makes the word "kill" sound positively comforting.

Other contenders:
- "Survivor" by Destiny's Child
- "There You Go" by Pink
- "Thong Song" by Sysqo

Also,

"I'm Down 4 U" by Ja Rule and his Bitches: A series of women pledge their troths to Ja Rule, who questions their love and then decides he'll keep them all. Oh, and he does all this while trying to take what must be a collossal dump.

That one made me laugh so hard I shot milk out of my nose, and I was not even drinking milk.

Any number of Raunchy Young Lepers songs own this thread, except they're incredibly funny. So maybe I'll name the anonymous late eighties uptempo energetic thing that was in the movie Traxx.

ARGH. This just sounds so abysmally wrong.

I very vaguely remember seeing the video for that one ... Frank Stallone standing in a military cemetery belting out this tune.

Or maybe that's another Frank Stallone movie monstrosity?

Indeed, who let them out?

???!!!!!!!

if worst, proof that worst = best.

just rememeber: all singles are OK as long as you don't buy them.

also 'next episode', 'cotton eye joe', 'i should be so lucky' and 'who let the dogs out' are all pretty good.

you can definately hear the creepy electronica of his seventies stuff like 'halloween' and especially 'assauly on precinct 13' in RZA productions - particulary 'liquid swords'

No way! I'm currently compiling a mix cd of this stuff and already I've gotten 4 or so requests for a copy! Haddaway forever!

Worst song (of this week): J5 - "What's Golden"

Worst song (of forever): maybe that 4-Non Blondes one... or something by Aerosmith... that ballad from the asteroid film, maybe? Not memorable enough to hate in a respectful way, just some kind of minor, though frequent, irritation. A fly buzzing around your room type of thing.

"The Next Episode" is very very great, if only for the horn sections that show up periodically. What's that a sample of, anyway?

The worst I've heard recently is "Not Pretty Enough" by Kasey Chambers. She sounds like Juliana Hatfield on helium, it has lyrics forty times as juvenile as Vanessa Carlton, the backing music is country-lite.

Oh, and Chris Isaak's "Wicked Games." That one really sucks.

Hey! That's a little harsh. Both those bands have made many songs infinitely superior to...

Mr Blobby. By Christ I still HATE it now. 4 Non Blondes are right up there an' all, as are Toploader and their "Dancing In The Moonlight", if only for that song's ability to make every cloth-eared chunky-ankled secretary in Christendom (Kissingdom?) think clambering onto the Yates' Wing Lodge table is a good idea.

That was the goal. Now imagine a compilation album!

sorry, but Britney's fucking awful.If she had a shred of talent/humor/irony/self-awareness she'd be easier to take. Hearing a muzak version of "Oops.." in the grocery store was entertaining.

IRONY IS LAME. http://www.theclothinglab.com/images/meshblank.jpg

-- Be sure to Loop! Loop, Loop, Loop. (??©?~?!=?@??) (webmail), May 24th, 2004 7:21 AM. (ex machina) (later) (link)

especially when it's used against itself!

I like FAR too many of the songs listed upthread.

such a creepy sentiment too..."clearly you are damaged and no other man would want you, but i, chris martin, will fix you."

It's very existence acts as a solvent to the very fabric of space-time, creating a gateway for the "Forgotten Ones" to escape - as well as causing 13 and 6 scores of angels to defect from their Heavenly manors thus sparking an interdimensional battle between the two factions for ownership of the souls of men.

Equally as egregious is "Wake Me Up Before You Go" - Wham!

I am convinced that in actually this is not a "song" at all. Further research at the sub atomic level will show that the sound waves produced by this contraption carry with them hordes of nanoscopic robots that "possess" the hapless listener by affixing themselves to integral neurological centers - and with the evil data encrypted within them cause the host subject to perform acts of unspeakable savagery as well superhuman feats of tecnological innovation.

and also this little slice of misery:

*Starts the Car

"Galang"

*Screeches off into the sunset. Hits a pothole. Bites tongue. Cries.

Note that I take the title literarily enough not to include anything that I don't consider a "song", but noise. :)

Any Sting is beyond the pale too.

"Crystal Blue Persuasion", playing over the gas station speakers a few minute ago as I filled the Honda's empty tank- made me want to douse myself and light a match. Could not get to 13 gallons fast enough. And "Crimson and Clover" is one of my favorite songs ever. (also good for testing stereo separation) Blue crystals treated me well on several occasions, even.

Oh god, this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tMS_GMlnTHg

...OFFENSIVE...SUCCESSFUL...BUT AT A COST.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sWpqrWFd0uA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vc2jDz6w-r4

Obv this is really the best song ever recorded but some churls might think it belongs here. To them I say "don't get fresh with me".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1m9n5Uv0bp0&feature=related

Pretty sure the one in the pink bikini is a dude btw

OMFG it's the Tesco Blue Stripe Spice Girls

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ji6AlNnh4yg&NR=1

No misogyno but I'm pushed to decide which one most needs a slap

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N_eONDPvMwo&feature=related

Fuckin Up the Classics Vol. 1

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jamJ4-C_TME

Favourite unintentionally homoerotic music vidz

Haha, how much make-up is Lewis wearing? He looks like Grace Jones! And why on earth does that clip end with him about to get raped by an old lady in a sauna?

Believe it or not, Sandi Thom has worse songs than that one in her repertoire, dreadful though it is. The one where she laments the decline of the horse as humankind's premiere mode of transport has to be heard to be believed.

Carl Lewis may be able to sing better, but at least Grace Jones can jump further.

I'll say "Be My Lover" by La Bouche, since 90's crap-club seems to be the trend here

― Curtis Stephens, Saturday, November 9, 2002 9:47 PM (7 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

^^^ suggest banned

Philip Michael Thomas - Just the Way I Planned It
Lily Allen - Say What You Say
LaToya Jackson - He's My Brother
Three Days Grace - I Hate Everything About You

Oh, almost forgot:
Darryl Worley - Have You Forgotten

Darryl Worley, Have You Forgotten? Lyrics
Looking for Darryl Worley tabs and chords? Browse alphabet (above).

Artist: Worley Darryl
Song: Have You Forgotten?
Album: Have You Forgotten?
Darryl Worley Sheet Music
Darryl Worley CDs

Download RingtoneSend “Have You Forgotten?” Ringtone to Cell PhoneDownload Ringtone

I hear people saying we don't need this war
But, I say there's some things worth fighting for
What about our freedom and this piece of ground
We didn't get to keep 'em by backing down
They say we don't realize the mess we're getting in
Before you start your preaching let me ask you this my friend

Have you forgotten how it felt that day?
To see your homeland under fire
And her people blown away
Have you forgotten when those towers fell?
We had neighbors still inside going thru a living hell
And you say we shouldn't worry 'bout bin Laden
Have you forgotten?

Fuck copied too much.

Philip Michael Thomas - Just the Way I Planned It

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sLRwdbg1xME

Woulda been a better song if Don Johnson did backup vocals.

Don Johnson also did a shit-tastic called "Heartbeat", but I felt two Miami Vice peeps on the same list was overkill.