The Lyrics To Tommy Boyce's Over The Top Anthem "Celebration" From His 1973 Christopher Cloud Album

“Celebration” by Tommy Boyce

Verse 1
John Arbuckle’s on his way to meet his girl Sally
Down in Knoxville, Tennessee
While his wife sits home expecting his child
Wond’rin’ what it’s gonna be

And In New York City in the high rent district
The papers read a young girl was raped
An’ the guy that did it was caught three hours later
With his fam’ly, eatin’ ice cream an’ cake

And the only statement he could make
When they came to take him away
Was “I did it, but I don’t know why
God help me, I don’t want to die”

Chorus 1

Celebration
The Whole human race has gone crazy
Celebration
Mentally retarded and lazy
I think I’ll go to Griffith Park
An’ talk to a zebra
And ask it face to face
If it’s a Gemini or it’s a Libra

Verse 2

A New York Senator’s runnin’ for re-election
So he’s on the street getting’ votes
Shakin’ hands with the blacks
Smilin’ wide at the ladies
And even trying to tell a few jokes

But later that night in his hotel suite
That cost $150 a day
He’s eating steak and conversing with a woman of the streets
And hoping that she might stay…
And all that may be copasetic
To the watchers of the late night news
But tell me what about all those people who ride the subways
I’m talking about the Germans, and the Catholics and the Jews

Chorus 2

Celebration
The whole human race has grown stagnant
Whatever happened to Jack Paar and Dragnet

I wonder if the astronauts
Are still doing commercials
Or are they back in Houston, Texas
Getting ready for another space rehearsal

Verse 3

Doris Day has freckles
Marlon Brando’s *censored*
And Elvis Presley makes lots of money
James Dean is still alive
And Lenny Bruce never died
And the Smothers Brothers never were funny
That’s what we read in the columns
Of the movie magazines that flourish
And Lana Turner’s still waiting to be discovered
In the drugstore
Eating a dish of orange sherbet

And they all say that the weather in Utah was perfect
And the Mormons own all the churches
And if you graduate from high school
And you don’t become a waitress
There’s spaces left for doctors and nurses

Chorus 3

Celebration
The whole fuckin’ world has gone mad
Celebration
I think I’ll call my mom and dad
And ask them can they get me back in kindergarten
‘Cause with all my years of schoolin’
Somehow I feel as tho’ I’m only startin’

Verse 4

Red China’s overcrowded
Arizona is hot
And California sells earthquake insurance
Ben Franklin flew a kite
Matt Dillon kissed Kitty
And Shirley Temple bought herself a nursery
One-piece bathing suits are obsolete
And Philadelphia lawyers read Playboy
Bobby Sherman loves girls
And Ralph Nader hates horns
And Boris Karloff was born in a hayloff
So what if you don’t win an Oscar
Or go to your class reunion

Perry Mason still loves you
But don’t get busted
‘Cause in court he’ll swear
That he never knew ya…

Chorus 4

Celebration
The whole human race is thinkin’ sideways
Celebration
It cost a million bucks a mile for our highways
I think I’ll rob a bank
Just to see what it feels like
So I can spend a night in jail
An’ find out if policemen are really nice

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XkwNhUuTBKc

https://img.discogs.com/k6WEhl_it-e3zMJ0FIBncFwMx3U=/fit-in/300x300/filters:strip_icc():format(jpeg):mode_rgb():quality(40)/discogs-images/R-1219054-1437327541-5594.jpeg.jpg

i couldn't find the lyrics anywhere on the internet. and i feel like future generations should be able to study these things.

here's the fun part: Verse 4 is completely omitted from the recorded version. You can actually hear where they splice Chorus 4 in right after Chorus 3. so, if you ever wanted to cover this song, you could do a complete version for the first time ever.

I've never heard this, incredible. For me, this is why ilm exists.

Um...thank you so much for this gift. I'm not sure I've ever witnessed a nervous breakdown in song form before.

Wow, never heard of this and I love Boyce & Hart.