last night's top 100 number ones channel 4 tv show

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highlights -
* thatcher circa 1987 raving about 'telstar'
(to a cacophony of laughter in our house)
- 'a marvellous tune you know *full* of life'

* new order actually laughing and joking
about steven morris pulling
the plug out accidentally on completion of
'blue monday's first take in the studio

* sir cliff yammering on yet again about
how they (the shadows) had the mania thing going on for them way
prior to the fabs, despite the fact that hank
marvoid looked like joe 90's ucool grandad

* 'tears' by ken dodd barging into the top 20
biggest sellers of all time (!)
and a monochrome clip of him
minus tickly stick looking all windswept and brylcreemed

* footage of people with fat armfulls of 'candle in the wind'
on the 1st day of sale hurrying thru the doors of hmv
all crazy and grief-possesed

* 'don't you want me' being brilliant and dramatic and
everything good to all people and still
managing to be in the top 40 big sellers *ever*
(sigh) how did they do that ?

* bob geldof managing to still look heartfelt and honest
while talking about live aid, despite the fact that everyone hates
everything that live aid stands for and he must've had to
defend himself a thousand times

* some 100% unknown tracks being million sellers
('eye level' - the theme tune to some barry 'frenzy' foster-
starred 70's proto-bergerac cop show) to name but one

* loleatta holloway bursting into tears and not being able to stop
crying while talking about 'ride on time' using her sample

* boney m's lead singer revealed as not being a singer at all
but merely a front for frank farian the producer in a weird
milli vanilliesque rip off caper.


lowlights :
* no paul morley

piscesboy, Sunday, 17 November 2002 13:57 (twenty-three years ago)

if something is "everything good to all people" why wd it not be in the top-selling section? records are mainly only bought by people!!

eye-level wz inescapable in the 70s (also the van der valk books were written from the POV of vdv himself, and the final one ends something a la thus: "van der valk had no opinion on this: he was dead" which = k-kool, no?)

i wz k-reminded — by "don't you love me" and "careless whisper" — of BOTH of the "two that i lost" mentioned at the end of in my punk rock epic, so wz quite glum as i was watching it on my own

mark s (mark s), Sunday, 17 November 2002 14:20 (twenty-three years ago)

yeah fair point! sorry i meant everything good to all ilx people.

piscesboy, Sunday, 17 November 2002 14:34 (twenty-three years ago)

I laughed for some reason at the bit where the bloke who did "Tie A Yellow Ribbon Round The Old Oak Tree" stopped the show to point out that David Bowie was sitting in the audience.

It would have been nice if they hadn't had Avid Cocking Merrion on throughout doing his "comedy".

Chriddof (Chriddof), Sunday, 17 November 2002 14:44 (twenty-three years ago)

yeah ! tell me that was like, a gig with someone
cool on it also and not just yellow ribbon fella - the look
on bowie's eyepatched face !

the merrion stuff was grating but i laughed
at the britney bit.

piscesboy, Sunday, 17 November 2002 14:53 (twenty-three years ago)

haha boo-wie wz checking out possibilities for his post aladdin-sane move surely!!

i imagine the next morning involved a list w. a "maybe not" written in beside one entry

mark s (mark s), Sunday, 17 November 2002 15:06 (twenty-three years ago)

I am unfamiliar with "Eye Level" but I can only assume it is the UK equivalent to "Theme From SWAT".

Nate Patrin (Nate Patrin), Sunday, 17 November 2002 17:33 (twenty-three years ago)

only watched the last hour and the funny bit was New Order talking abt a 'punk idol': that's a grebt idea!

Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Sunday, 17 November 2002 17:50 (twenty-three years ago)

Farian was also responsible for Milli Vanilli, of course, although his best productions were the ultra-minimalist Silver Convention ones (everything scaled down to the bassline and shouts of "Boogie!").

Thatcher's comments are unintentionally hilarious because she seems to imply that she was a young girl when "Telstar" came out, rather than a 37-year-old backbencher in her first parliamentary term (think it was Ian MacDonald who pointed out how appropriate it was that she liked a song that evoked the newly-empowered consumerism of the Macmillan era). However the highlight of the show was, naturally, the 1961 BBC-tv continuity clip in the "Stranger on the Shore" sequence - the sort of journey into a completely different world which is all this sort of programme is ultimately good for.

robin carmody (robin carmody), Sunday, 17 November 2002 18:12 (twenty-three years ago)

that acker bilk bit made me realise that for years i had (not very clearheadedly) imagined that it wz the CORONATION STREET themetune (aslso AB) which wz the first UK single to top the US charts...

mark s (mark s), Sunday, 17 November 2002 19:08 (twenty-three years ago)

sorry i meant everything good to all ilx people.

aaarrrrghghgh

I only saw the last 50 or so, but there was an awkward turd-in-the-playpool moment that was swanned past with editorial speed: a pic of Gary Glitter was shown, but the song wasn't heard, and he wasn't even mentioned by name: just a 'this man was once popular - not any more!' type voiceover. Straight on with business as usual. Perhaps a policy of 'no more royalties for you, you perv', or an editorial expression of condemnation........but a slight sense of being patronised too.
(I mean wow what a relief that the lighthearted atmosphere of cultural consumerism and nostalgia-by-numbers and entertainment-through-mockery was maintained by ruefully smirking through a possible 5-second tingle of dissonance and reflection over the relation between artefacts and their makers, or punters and popstars, or cultural approbation....ah well, that wasn't their job. Doesn't seem to be anybody's, unfortunately.)

Might have been interesting to attend the production meeting where they discussed how to deal with that inconvenience.

Snowy Mann (rdmanston), Monday, 18 November 2002 12:18 (twenty-three years ago)

yes, especially when put into perspective by the amount of time they spent talking about censorship vis-a-vis "relax"! usual hypocrisy then (certainly morley was a gaping absence in the frankie gth bits).

not to mention the possibly greater inconvenience that the number one record was not played (as opposed to the live clip of the "original" candle in the wind + 5 secs of e. john singing it at w'minster abbey).

it's a pity no one filmed the scene i witnessed in w h smiths in oxford st. where two customers were slagging the record off and the till lady ordered them out of the shop for being "insolent." security guards and everything.

Marcello Carlin, Monday, 18 November 2002 12:34 (twenty-three years ago)

i just cant believe 'i love you love' sold that many copies anyway

stevem (blueski), Monday, 18 November 2002 12:55 (twenty-three years ago)

If ILYL was the GG song then I'm glad they censored it after all.

Snowy Mann (rdmanston), Monday, 18 November 2002 13:27 (twenty-three years ago)

i found it somewhat implausible that it was higher up the list than merry xmas everybody, which not only (a) knocked it off the top; (b) was at number one for longer, but also (c) re-entered the chart nine times in subsequent years.

Marcello Carlin, Monday, 18 November 2002 13:30 (twenty-three years ago)

yes, I was struck by the Glitter moment as well: as if it was *about* to turn into a serious fuck-up of their mentality, but they cut it off just before it could. frustrating.

robin carmody (robin carmody), Monday, 18 November 2002 20:45 (twenty-three years ago)

wasn't it shocking how michael jackson's only mention was "earth song" somewhere in the 80-somethings?

bob zemko (bob), Wednesday, 20 November 2002 21:08 (twenty-three years ago)

no Madonna either

stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 20 November 2002 21:18 (twenty-three years ago)

I loved the program. I was expecting the top 100 to be about 50% shit but I thought it was more like 30% - a pleasant surprise. And the GBP's mob mentality has a pretty good ear except when distorted by some special event (Diana death, famine, TV series about two pretty soliders). The biggest non 'event' song was "Mull of Kintyre" unfortunately - I mentioned this to my fiancee's Mum and she said "Oh yes I loved that song. It's such a beautiful area of Scotland. The song's nothing like it of course."

Tom (Groke), Wednesday, 20 November 2002 23:07 (twenty-three years ago)


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