If Beck were a horse...

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If Beck were a horse, what kind of horse would he be? I need to know for a piece I'm writing. I'm leaning toward a pony of some sort.If anyone knows of a particular type of horse that fits Beck's personality and disposition, I'd like to know. Thanks in advance.

― Scott Seward, Sunday, 17 November 2002 20:35 (twenty-three years ago)

a big shaggy clydesdale leaping over one of those equestrian hurdles

― Famous Athlete, Sunday, 17 November 2002 20:38 (twenty-three years ago)

He'd be a My Pretty Pony.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Sunday, 17 November 2002 20:39 (twenty-three years ago)

yeah, motherfucker too "hip" to be my little pony.

― jess (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 17 November 2002 20:44 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh christ. This bodes not well.

― Nate Patrin (Nate Patrin), Sunday, 17 November 2002 20:44 (twenty-three years ago)

Besides, everyone knows he's a burro.

― Nate Patrin (Nate Patrin), Sunday, 17 November 2002 20:45 (twenty-three years ago)

If Beck were a horse? It'd be OFF TO THE GLUE FACTORY WITH HIM!

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Sunday, 17 November 2002 20:53 (twenty-three years ago)

Damn you Alex, you just gave away Scott's clever angle for the article! Now he'll have to conjure up something where he attempts to satirize his lyrical style and fails miserably!

― Nate Patrin (Nate Patrin), Sunday, 17 November 2002 20:55 (twenty-three years ago)

Why can't he be My Puppy Puddles instead?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 17 November 2002 21:32 (twenty-three years ago)

He'd be that horse on the chewing gum packaging.

― James Blount (James Blount), Sunday, 17 November 2002 21:48 (twenty-three years ago)

The fruit stripe gum horse? He has a name doesn't he? I believe he's actually a zebra though with colorful stripes. I could be wrong. Do you know what I never knew until recently? That Bubble Yum has a mascot that is a punk rock duck. No name though. I actually just woke up last night with the lead in my head of.."If Beck were a horse and I were a betting man... But that was it. Maybe somebody could just help me finish the sentence. All I really need is a good first sentence when I write and then it's off to the races. Burro is good though. As is pony cuz he's got those big adorable eyes. He's too tiny to be a clydesdale.Maybe I'm heading in the wrong direction.And Nate, will you please let go of the El-P review.Yur like an elephant or something.

― Scott Seward, Sunday, 17 November 2002 22:04 (twenty-three years ago)

He'd be a pantomime horse pretending to be a real horse.

― Curt (cgould), Sunday, 17 November 2002 22:11 (twenty-three years ago)

What, no one's goin to be Cap'n Witty and say that Beck's clearly just an Ass?

― Kim (Kim), Sunday, 17 November 2002 22:17 (twenty-three years ago)

I actually just woke up last night with the lead in my head of.."If Beck were a horse and I were a betting man... But that was it.

Usually when someone bets on a horse, they're betting on one horse to beat other horses at a race. So, to complete the metaphor, you kinda hafta identify the other horses.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Sunday, 17 November 2002 22:17 (twenty-three years ago)

Well it's only my second-favorite album of the year dammit! At least you can be secure in the knowledge that you wrote a memorable review, though. But enough of that pathetic obsession.

From the way I hear Sea Change he's like Quick Draw McGraw suddenly wishing he was the lead in "Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron".

― Nate Patrin (Nate Patrin), Sunday, 17 November 2002 22:21 (twenty-three years ago)

You wouldn't bet on Beck though, as he'd probably be an odds on favourite with dodgy recent form, which are the worst form of horses to bet on. You'd probably just take an each-way at 8/1, like, errr... I dunno.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Sunday, 17 November 2002 22:44 (twenty-three years ago)

That reads like an opening to a Camden Joy piece in an odd way. Except he'd really write a story with beck as a horse the whole way through.

I really think that you're edging towards a "they shoot horses, don't they" angle here though or maybe you're just hinting at it in a feint, but either way I dislike it.

I don't see a way to work horse breed gently into that opening sentence anyway.

"...I'd never have made a dime off his surprise breakthrough. Because I'm a cautious better. Or would be, if I were a betting man. But Beck is just this guy, and I'm a music critic, so be warned that Sea Change is..."

or something.

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Monday, 18 November 2002 07:18 (twenty-three years ago)

I just got the most ridiculous image of the smirking dromedary from packs of Camel cigarettes (not Joe Camel, we're talking the actual classic picture from the hard pack) saying 'Hot Milk' and then singing 'Loser' to a very confused Lawrence of Arabia while they wander through the trackless sahara, Lawrence glancing back in frustration at this bizarre pack animal who has now gone all minstrelly on him right in the middle of an important mission to unite the Bedouin against the Turks.

Thus: Beck is a dromedary, because it's the funniest. To me.

― Tom Millar (Millar), Monday, 18 November 2002 07:34 (twenty-three years ago)

Beck's a Shetland, definitely. -- Staunchly independent, of strong character, good natured, and conscience of their rarity.

― christoff (christoff), Monday, 18 November 2002 14:18 (twenty-three years ago)

The fruit stripe gum horse? He has a name doesn't he?

His name is Yikes. I don't know how or why I know this, I just do.

― Christine "Green Leafy Dragon" Indigo (cindigo), Monday, 18 November 2002 15:26 (twenty-three years ago)

Beck is Yikes.

― James Blount, Monday, 18 November 2002 17:21 (twenty-three years ago)

i kiss you.

― jess (dubplatestyle), Monday, 18 November 2002 17:28 (twenty-three years ago)

jess: :-)

Tom Millar: For some reason, "Where It's At" always made me think about lines of camels walking off towards the sunset.

― Christine "Green Leafy Dragon" Indigo (cindigo), Monday, 18 November 2002 22:43 (twenty-three years ago)

(set up) i dunno if he's a horse but (punchline) he sure eats a lot of hay

― pip, Monday, 18 November 2002 22:55 (twenty-three years ago)

it's a relationship joke that references scientology i just wrote it

― pip, Monday, 18 November 2002 22:58 (twenty-three years ago)

nine years pass...

http://static.tumblr.com/lizaiya/vv9livjrw/nag_nag_nag2.jpg

― Éden Éden Éden / H.A.Z.A.R.D (nakhchivan), Thursday, 24 May 2012 19:23 (thirteen years ago)

i would say that he would be a horse with an unusually small penis

― Poliopolice, Thursday, 24 May 2012 20:04 (thirteen years ago)

again with the horses!

― this guy's a gangsta? his real name's mittens. (Hurting 2), Thursday, 24 May 2012 21:06 (thirteen years ago)

my first thread! i think.

― scott seward, Thursday, 24 May 2012 21:11 (thirteen years ago)

again with the horses!

― this guy's a gangsta? his real name's mittens. (Hurting 2), Thursday, May 24, 2012 5:06 PM (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

and a celebrity of jewish descent, no less!

― some dude, Thursday, 24 May 2012 21:12 (thirteen years ago)

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