Ooh, I could vote in an ILM poll

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Ooooooh...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wiZP-27-PJw

Poll Results

Option	Votes
Cuddle a cat	5
Crush a grape	3
Sing a duet with our dog	3
Prize open a mince pie	2
Wrestle an Action Man	2
Rip a tissue	1
Go to the moon	1
Pop a balloon	1
Frighten a berry?	0
Leap over a chocolate log	0
Swing on a lamppost	0
Duff a daffodil	0
Jump off a doll's house	0
Kick sand in our budgie's eye	0
Unravel me granny's knitting	0

― Arthur Lowe & Love (Tom D.), Wednesday, 24 July 2019 23:31 (six years ago)

Intrigued by this I must admit:

2. Parsons, Tony (1985) "Singles", NME, 2 February 1985, p. 14

― Arthur Lowe & Love (Tom D.), Thursday, 25 July 2019 17:12 (six years ago)

"Jump off a doll's house" and "prize open a mince pie" are the most surprising images here, though I also like the simplicity of "crush a grape" and "rip a tissue." "Cuddle a cat" is the sentimental favorite.

― geoffreyess, Thursday, 25 July 2019 17:24 (six years ago)

Went with the classic titular exclamation, which to my recall was the only fully formed one when he started on Crackerjack.

I'm not sure any of them would fly in this day and age though, given they're supposed to be deliberately small/weak achievements to match his stage persona's campness/homosexuality.

― Elitist cheese photos (aldo), Thursday, 25 July 2019 17:33 (six years ago)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3JrgOR0iZBg

― my but is not working it kept telling me device not found. (Old Lunch), Thursday, 25 July 2019 17:34 (six years ago)

Ah! Excellent.

― Arthur Lowe & Love (Tom D.), Thursday, 25 July 2019 17:36 (six years ago)

https://i2.wp.com/80sblog.all80s.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/crackerjack-tv-show-80s-3.jpg

― Arthur Lowe & Love (Tom D.), Thursday, 25 July 2019 17:54 (six years ago)

Write-in vote for 'test-drive a Tonka'

― Gavin, Leeds, Thursday, 25 July 2019 18:01 (six years ago)

he’s singing “frighten a faerie” i think ?

― budo jeru, Thursday, 25 July 2019 18:11 (six years ago)

given they're supposed to be deliberately small/weak achievements to match his stage persona's campness/homosexuality

no family is safe when I crush a grape

― geoffreyess, Thursday, 25 July 2019 18:51 (six years ago)

a lot of oohs here too

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=STbhaqsBJB0

― del griffith, Thursday, 25 July 2019 19:19 (six years ago)

Interestingly, a full year before "Ooh I Could Crush a Grape", Stu Francis released the clunkily titled "I Could Have Crushed a Grape".

https://img.discogs.com/LY5GUf5sZ-vl3ydMzAl3y-v39B4=/fit-in/600x602/filters:strip_icc():format(jpeg):mode_rgb():quality(90)/discogs-images/R-5020058-1451128749-1406.jpeg.jpg

Can't find any trace of this on YouTube though :(

― Arthur Lowe & Love (Tom D.), Tuesday, 30 July 2019 12:40 (six years ago)

Written and produced by Brian Chatton (Francis at least had a co-write on "Ooh.."), a session guy with a fairly credible track record who, nonetheless, also played on this 'Horrible 70s album titles like I've Got My Own Album To Do' perennial:

https://direct.rhapsody.com/imageserver/images/alb.118624068/500x500.jpg

― Arthur Lowe & Love (Tom D.), Tuesday, 30 July 2019 12:45 (six years ago)

three weeks pass...

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

― System, Saturday, 24 August 2019 00:01 (six years ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

― System, Sunday, 25 August 2019 00:01 (six years ago)

five months pass...

Classic poll.

― Load up your rubber wallets (Tom D.), Sunday, 16 February 2020 22:35 (six years ago)

BALLOON

― nashwan, Sunday, 16 February 2020 23:27 (six years ago)

five months pass...

missed this and therefore "jump off a doll's house" missed a deserved vote

I misremembered "Wrestle an Action Man" as "arm-wrestle an action man"

I occasionally over the years have found myself repeating some of these phrases out loud to the bemusement of my kids.

― オニモ (onimo), Friday, 7 August 2020 12:37 (five years ago)

"Prize open a mince pie" has been slept on imo

― Udo Starmer (Tom D.), Friday, 7 August 2020 12:46 (five years ago)

one year passes...

I somehow missed that Chas & Dave did a theme tune for Crackerjack.

https://youtube/b7WVgZ6dbsw

― Starmer: "Let the children boogie, let all the children boogie." (Tom D.), Sunday, 3 October 2021 20:24 (four years ago)

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