I am a music historian, and with @AdrianRMG I have researched the best-selling single of every decade all the way back to 14,000BC.

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Please go here and listen to the clips first, seriously it will take you all of 5 minutes and you will not regret it.

I am a music historian, and with @AdrianRMG I have researched the best-selling single of every decade all the way back to 14,000BC. Here's a thread:

2010s - Ed Sheeran, The Shape of You pic.twitter.com/Y4rrOdSGY2
— 𝗔𝗿𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗲 𝗛𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻 (@jazzemu_) December 5, 2019

Poll Results

Option	Votes
1770s - Handel, Zadok The Priest (Club Edit)	9
660s - The People of Byzantium, The Coronation of Cher	7
1580s - Cher, I Turned Back Time	7
1960s - Herbie Bonson, Do The Crunch	6
14,000BCE - H. Sapiens, Rock Scraping On Other Rock (Once)	5
1820s - Lord Crisp-Banbury, Mambo No. 4	5
1940s - Jöhn Smith, Britain (Is Where I'm From)	5
1850s - Nurse Licebaron, Little Timmy	4
3230s BCE - The Aliens, Does Anyone Want To Hang Out	3
1930s - Disney Inc., Unconscious Tower Maiden	2
1990s - Lou Bega, Mambo No.5	1
1980s - Cher, If I Could Turn Back Time	1
1970s - The Beegees, Haaaah	1
1430s - Baron Von Hurb, Ma-lreanr	1
12,450BCE - Brog, Mambo No.1	1
1920s - Phillip Jameson, Dirty Anklez	1
70s BCE - The Bethelehem Bbz, Zoopzappyzappa	0
2540s BCE - Nafkatiti, Mambo No.2	0
2650s BCE - Gogmagog, Stonehenge Finish	0
3220s BCE - The People of Babylon, The Aliens Are Gone	0
2000s - James Blunt, You're Beautiful	0
1310s - Sir Chillalot, Mambo No.3	0
1350s - The Rancid Prince, Be My Daddy	0
1420s - Glög, Ü	0
1950s - Chunky Finchman & The Interrupters, She's My Baby	0
1440s - Bogis De Bonbon, Hurmurnurmur	0
1790s - Beethoven, Post-deafness Acoustic Sessions	0
1900s - The Wright Brothers, Ten Feet High Club	0
1910s - Rupert McCarthy, Bellum Est Malum (War Is Bad)	0
2010s - Ed Sheeran, The Shape of You	0

― mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Friday, 6 December 2019 10:01 (five years ago)

torn between 'Do The Crunch' and 'She's My Baby'

― YOU CALL THIS JOURNALSIM? (dog latin), Friday, 6 December 2019 10:05 (five years ago)

I'm a fan of 'Zadok The Priest (Club Edit)'

― mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Friday, 6 December 2019 10:06 (five years ago)

gotta be 'i turned back time' but shout-outs to all the mambos

― "Big Joe Fuck and the Bogalusa Maniac" (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 6 December 2019 10:06 (five years ago)

lol we went through this earlier. it's Do The Crunch

― imago, Friday, 6 December 2019 11:58 (five years ago)

once again, following Jon Bois is sometimes all you need

― imago, Friday, 6 December 2019 11:59 (five years ago)

Little Timmy is a bop

― Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Friday, 6 December 2019 13:21 (five years ago)

Went with Ed Sheeran

― éminence rose et jaune (Noodle Vague), Friday, 6 December 2019 13:44 (five years ago)

The Cher ones are the best

― brigadier pudding (DJP), Friday, 6 December 2019 13:52 (five years ago)

Mambo #4 = slept-on

― britain's secret sauce (seandalai), Friday, 6 December 2019 15:39 (five years ago)

voting timmy with dirty anklez runner up

― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Friday, 6 December 2019 16:37 (five years ago)

The Bee Gees one and "Britain (Is Where I'm From)" reduced my girlfriend to tears of laughter.

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 6 December 2019 17:14 (five years ago)

i got to herbie bonson before my lady figured out something was up

― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Friday, 6 December 2019 17:19 (five years ago)

ten feet high club vs little timmy vs mambo no. 4

― jacquees, full of cobras (voodoo chili), Friday, 6 December 2019 17:31 (five years ago)

mambo no 4 is almost a better joke without the inclusion of 3, 2 and 1

― longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Friday, 6 December 2019 17:39 (five years ago)

i can't believe im queen

― jacquees, full of cobras (voodoo chili), Friday, 6 December 2019 17:49 (five years ago)

That was the one where I howled

― totally unnecessary bewbz of exploitation (DJP), Friday, 6 December 2019 17:50 (five years ago)

"Britain (Is Where I'm From)" for the umlaut in the John Smith name combined with "leave the lights on during the Blitz."

Honorable Mention: Ten Feet High Club

― Mazzy Tsar (PBKR), Friday, 6 December 2019 18:13 (five years ago)

egyptian mambo is when my co-workers started looking at me and i had to close the tab

― 10,000 mani-gecs (voodoo chili), Friday, 6 December 2019 19:07 (five years ago)

Okay, yeah, I'm gonna have to spend some time with this one when I'm not at work.

― afraid of gosts, frankinstines, mummys, vampires, warewolf (Old Lunch), Friday, 6 December 2019 19:20 (five years ago)

so happy when Nurse Licebarron's "Little Timmy" got resurrected by Elton John centuries later, though still aggrieved he renamed the character Jeannie

― master of nuggets (Neanderthal), Friday, 6 December 2019 19:31 (five years ago)

"Rock Scraping on Other Rock" singlehandedly created Throbbing Gristle

― master of nuggets (Neanderthal), Friday, 6 December 2019 19:32 (five years ago)

I really, really laughed at the Handel one, just for the timing.

― I don't get wet because I am tall and thin and I am afraid of people (Eliza D.), Friday, 6 December 2019 19:41 (five years ago)

zadok the priest is the only correct answer

― like, I’m eating an elephant head (katherine), Saturday, 7 December 2019 08:26 (five years ago)

penny dropped last night while revisiting that Jöhn Smith is in fact a German spy ('eating chips and fish') who made a single that Britishers bought in their droves telling them to leave their lights on so the Nazis can bomb them.
How do you fit so much backstory into 10"s?

― YOU CALL THIS JOURNALSIM? (dog latin), Saturday, 7 December 2019 09:13 (five years ago)

it's finished. play!

― groovemaaan, Saturday, 7 December 2019 12:06 (five years ago)

clear EOY contender

― britain's secret sauce (seandalai), Saturday, 7 December 2019 13:19 (five years ago)

voted "do the crunch"

laffs aside the list is approximately as well researched and accurate as the serious lists on that topic which have been spammed onto wikipedia

― dyl, Saturday, 7 December 2019 15:15 (five years ago)

I didn't realize teh songs had audio samples yesterday. this is even better now

"I can't believe that worked, I only read the WikiHow"

― master of nuggets (Neanderthal), Saturday, 7 December 2019 15:15 (five years ago)

laffs aside the list is approximately as well researched and accurate as the serious lists on that topic which have been spammed onto wikipedia

― dyl

it's sourced!

nah it's not _that_ well-researched, i could nitpick for days.

the beethoven entry reminds me of the existing piano roll of joplin playing his "maple leaf rag" in june 1916 (the uni-record recording, not the slightly earlier connorized). i've seen people argue over it trying somehow to claim that this represents his actual style. having heard the roll, it mostly seems to me to represent tertiary syphilis :(

― Agnes Motörhead (rushomancy), Saturday, 7 December 2019 16:12 (five years ago)

I still cherish the moment when I first heard the Bee Gee's "Haaaah", wondering how I escaped hearing that billion-seller in it's day. Seems just like yesterday.

― file of unknown origin (bendy), Saturday, 7 December 2019 18:23 (five years ago)

I still cherish the moment when I first heard the Bee Gee's "Haaaah", wondering how I escaped hearing that billion-seller in it's day. Seems just like yesterday.

― file of unknown origin (bendy)

yeah i felt the same way when i first heard "children of the world" a month ago

― Agnes Motörhead (rushomancy), Saturday, 7 December 2019 19:23 (five years ago)

meatls got robbed

― I have not yet begun to fart (rip van wanko), Saturday, 7 December 2019 21:06 (five years ago)

three weeks pass...

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

― System, Tuesday, 31 December 2019 00:01 (five years ago)

Rock Scraping On Other Rock (Once) by a country mile

― Darin, Tuesday, 31 December 2019 00:14 (five years ago)

First blastbeat

― looking for Mon in Alderaan places (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 31 December 2019 00:18 (five years ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

― System, Wednesday, 1 January 2020 00:01 (five years ago)

Solid results ILM, hope the new decade can produce something of the calibre of Zadok The Priest (Club Edit)

― mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Wednesday, 1 January 2020 00:04 (five years ago)

one year passes...

account has been suspended! what the fuck!

did anyone put these on youtube?

― bart harley-jarvis cocker (voodoo chili), Thursday, 15 July 2021 14:59 (four years ago)

he received a prehistoric DMCA notice

― Mr. Cacciatore (Moodles), Thursday, 15 July 2021 15:09 (four years ago)

gogmagog's lawyer is a real ball buster

― bart harley-jarvis cocker (voodoo chili), Thursday, 15 July 2021 15:14 (four years ago)

I am…

― Planck Generation (James Redd and the Blecchs), Thursday, 15 July 2021 15:22 (four years ago)

…I am Superman!

― Planck Generation (James Redd and the Blecchs), Thursday, 15 July 2021 15:22 (four years ago)

…The Magnificent!

― Planck Generation (James Redd and the Blecchs), Thursday, 15 July 2021 15:22 (four years ago)

nine months pass...

Glög was unfairly snubbed tbh

― josh az (2011nostalgia), Wednesday, 20 April 2022 08:46 (three years ago)

looks like these are back online!

I am a music historian, and with @AdrianRMG I have researched the best-selling single of every decade all the way back to 14,000BC. Here's a thread:

2010s - Ed Sheeran, The Shape of You pic.twitter.com/Y4rrOdSGY2
— Archie Henderson (@archiehench) December 5, 2019

― in places all over the world, real stuff be happening (voodoo chili), Wednesday, 20 April 2022 12:41 (three years ago)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8Vh8oG2nio

― Wile E. Kinbote (James Redd and the Blecchs), Wednesday, 20 April 2022 13:56 (three years ago)

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