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From the NY Post:

Cranky critic
VILLAGE Voice rock critic Robert Christgau seemed to be aping acid-tongued "American Idol" panelist Simon Cowell when he judged Media Bistro's Battle of the Bands on Monday night at Arlene Grocery, where combos representing Blender and Spin faced off. Christgau was much nastier than his fellow judges, who included the Times' Kelefa Sanneh and MTV's Suchin Pak, reports The Post's Mary Huhn. Among other barbs, Christgau sniffed that Spinotaur would be better without its lead singer, Spin managing editor Regan Solmo, and called Blender's Hookers & Blow a "one-note pony." In the end Spinotaur bested Hookers & Blow, but the winning mag's staffers were still seething. "Christgau really crossed the line," said a steamed Spin-ster.

― Yancey (ystrickler), Thursday, 21 November 2002 17:16 (twenty-three years ago)

haha c eddy told me that spin's band covered "a stroke of genius." that's one layer too many for me!

― jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 21 November 2002 17:19 (twenty-three years ago)

(sorry for the typo in the subject line)

We all know that rock critics really want to be rock stars. They got their shot Monday night at Arlene Grocery in the Battle of the Bands, a hot Star Search-style contest between Spin and Blender sponsored by www.Mediabistro.com.

Like any fight, there had to be some trash-talking. Caryn Ganz, the guitar player for the Spin band, Spinotaur, thumbed her nose at the competition. "We were contemplating a set of horrible LeAnn Rimes covers, but Blender already beat us to it," she sniffed.

Andy Pemberton, Blender ed in chief and bass player for Hookers 'n' Blow, countered: "I am sure Spin's covers will do better onstage than they do on the newsstand."

Judges Robert Christgau of the Voice, Kalefa Sanneh of The New York Times, and Suchin Pak of MTV News settled the dispute. They awarded the prize to Spinotaur, which gamely made their way through covers of "Genie in a Bottle" and the Raptures' "House of Jealous Lovers" without injuring themselves or the audience. The songs were unscathed, too.

― Yancey (ystrickler), Thursday, 21 November 2002 17:23 (twenty-three years ago)

(that's from the Voice)

― Yancey (ystrickler), Thursday, 21 November 2002 17:24 (twenty-three years ago)

I heard three different Spin-folk went up and yelled at Xgau. Sample: Xgau: "I said this to the other guy, and I'll say it to you: I've been doing this for 35 years." Person: "Fuck you, Bob!" Xgau: "Fuck you, too!"

the admiration just grows

― M Matos (M Matos), Thursday, 21 November 2002 17:26 (twenty-three years ago)

what's that old phrase about getting the horns along with the bull? what did they THINK he was gonna do, buckle under and say "well it's all in good fun"? I've met him a few times, and that's what he's like ALL THE TIME. why would they think he'd be any different under these circumstances?

I do think it's hilarious how thin-skinned they all are, but that goes w/o saying, now doesn't it?

― M Matos (M Matos), Thursday, 21 November 2002 17:28 (twenty-three years ago)

nb: I wasn't there, I heard the above dialogue secondhand

― M Matos (M Matos), Thursday, 21 November 2002 17:28 (twenty-three years ago)

also isn't "hookers'n'blow" just SO transgressive! like, you know, whatever.

― jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 21 November 2002 17:28 (twenty-three years ago)

a friend who was there: "I met Andy Pemberton [Blender ed-in-chief] and he was...I think the word is 'disingenuous.' You know, just like his magazine." Me: "You mean he's the kind of guy who'd form a band and call it Hookers 'n Blow?" They: "Yeah, exactly"

― M Matos (M Matos), Thursday, 21 November 2002 17:32 (twenty-three years ago)

yeah but hookers 'n' blow, lameass as it is is still better than "spinotaur"

― Fritz Wollner (Fritz), Thursday, 21 November 2002 17:38 (twenty-three years ago)

well, yes.

― jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 21 November 2002 17:42 (twenty-three years ago)

I don't agree. "spinotaur" sounds like a cool kids' show on PBS; "hookers 'n blow" sounds like a bunch of frat boys w/trust funds having a weekend in Tijuana

― M Matos (M Matos), Thursday, 21 November 2002 17:57 (twenty-three years ago)

Cf "Porn and Chicken"

― nabisco (nabisco), Thursday, 21 November 2002 17:59 (twenty-three years ago)

I couldn't actually hear the Spin band; I was stuck in the other part of the bar and too many drunks were jamming the doorway. Spinotaur looked okay on the closed-circuit-monitor TV, though I have to admit that had I seen them live their hipster cover choices (the Pixies???) might well have irked me. Hookers and Blow sounded more or less like the Dirtbombs, which is okay in my book. (And yeah, I realize that's probably even MORE hipster; who cares.) Energetic covers of "Have Love Will Travel" and "Centerfold." Xgau was just himself, and the only person in the place willing to piss off the audience, which counts for something, right? Kalafeh made cute jokes. The after-party was fun. Both bands seemed preferable to their respective magazines.

― chuck, Thursday, 21 November 2002 18:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Both bands seemed preferable to their respective magazines.

I think the real competition should have been between their roadies.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 21 November 2002 18:24 (twenty-three years ago)

Wait, maybe "Hookers and Blow" is a joke about Darius Rucker's old band. The racial mix of the Blender guys would seem to support that theory. Why did it take me so long to figure that out? God I'm slow.

― chuck, Thursday, 21 November 2002 18:58 (twenty-three years ago)

Too much credit!

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 21 November 2002 19:24 (twenty-three years ago)

Both bands seemed preferable to their respective magazines.

Funny. Because it's true.

So which magazines should be in round two?

― ^Diego^ (dhadis), Thursday, 21 November 2002 19:58 (twenty-three years ago)

My God What A Lame Night Out!! Why Aren't I watching reruns of Friends...

― brg30 (brg30), Thursday, 21 November 2002 20:15 (twenty-three years ago)

Did anyone cover Wesley Willis???

― brg30 (brg30), Thursday, 21 November 2002 20:16 (twenty-three years ago)

So which magazines should be in round two?

Vibe vs. Terrorizer

― J0hn Darn13ll3 (J0hn Darn13ll3), Thursday, 21 November 2002 20:23 (twenty-three years ago)

Harper's vs. Harper's Bazaar

― M Matos (M Matos), Thursday, 21 November 2002 20:32 (twenty-three years ago)

bizarre vs. harper's bazaar

― jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 21 November 2002 20:37 (twenty-three years ago)

Wall Street Journal vs. Vice

(anybody see the slanderous article in today's Journal about the Cobain diaries?)

― hstencil, Thursday, 21 November 2002 20:38 (twenty-three years ago)

Slanderous in the sense of...?

Chunklet vs. Freaky Trigger

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 21 November 2002 20:48 (twenty-three years ago)

I didn't actually read it (maybe I'll snag a free copy from the lobby), but the ladyfriend tells me that the author implies that if Cobain hadn't killed himself, he would've killed other people, a la Columbine.

Chunklet vs. Ladies' Home Journal

― hstencil, Thursday, 21 November 2002 20:53 (twenty-three years ago)

Uh no but he DOES fantasize in his journal about doing exactly that.

The WSJ piece is spectacular and highlights how reportage on cobain's journals has been censored so he looks like yr. run-of-the-mill tortured artist and not a guy who imagines making incisions in babies and copulating with them until they die (he does!).

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Thursday, 21 November 2002 20:56 (twenty-three years ago)

Can you imagine how shit it would have been if someone had invited the NME and Careless Talk to the party.

Hey, now... actually, that might be a good idea. EVERETT!!!!!

― kate, Thursday, 21 November 2002 20:58 (twenty-three years ago)

To state the obvious: Henry Owings owns this thread.

― Yancey (ystrickler), Thursday, 21 November 2002 20:59 (twenty-three years ago)

ah, see we'll I've just heard this second-hand, haven't read the article (as I clearly stated above).

― hstencil, Thursday, 21 November 2002 21:00 (twenty-three years ago)

ask "h2o_wings" about how he "toured with Tar."

― hstencil, Thursday, 21 November 2002 21:02 (twenty-three years ago)

Spinotaur!!!!

― Tom (Groke), Friday, 22 November 2002 01:05 (twenty-three years ago)

Who was the "steamed Spin-ster"?! Who sang? It's all too good to be true...

― Pete Scholtes, Friday, 22 November 2002 07:44 (twenty-three years ago)

there were three "steamed Spinsters" from what I hear, and you know one of them.

― M Matos (M Matos), Friday, 22 November 2002 08:35 (twenty-three years ago)

Was JoJo Dancer there?

― James Blount (James Blount), Friday, 22 November 2002 08:40 (twenty-three years ago)

Sounds like Christgau was the only good guy in a sea of bad, bad, bad. Blender!? I didn't know anyone took them seriously enough to be even this involved with them.

― Dan I., Friday, 22 November 2002 09:02 (twenty-three years ago)

Jann Wenner takes them very, very seriously

― James Blount (James Blount), Friday, 22 November 2002 09:10 (twenty-three years ago)

Matos, are you saying Dolan was in the band? What's with the hush hush?

I sang Pink's "Get the Party Started" at the recent City Pages Halloween talent contest, with Tortorello reluctantly tapping the drums behind me. It WAS a day of horror, after all.

Isn't the fun of events like this to balance the karmic scales? Was something else going on that wasn't reported? I think being told to go die by Christgau is like being made fun of by Jerry Lewis. Who wouldn't be honored?

― Pete Scholtes, Friday, 22 November 2002 20:14 (twenty-three years ago)

It looks like the wrong thread got the title "Music for Assholes".

― Carey, Friday, 22 November 2002 20:50 (twenty-three years ago)

HAW HAW!

― James Blount (James Blount), Friday, 22 November 2002 21:11 (twenty-three years ago)

Thank you, I'll be here all week. Try the veal.

― Carey, Saturday, 23 November 2002 05:07 (twenty-three years ago)

Yay! Only a few more moments of awesomeness like this, and he will finally make up for that horrible slagging he gave Discovery!

― Nate Patrin (Nate Patrin), Saturday, 23 November 2002 06:29 (twenty-three years ago)

I don't agree. "spinotaur" sounds like a cool kids' show on PBS; "hookers 'n blow" sounds like a bunch of frat boys w/trust funds having a weekend in Tijuana
I'm now imagining a band called Hooker and the Blowspinators. We could hire a bunch of frat boys with trust funds to be the band and we could hire Darius Rucker...to...sing....

― Lord Custos Omega (Lord Custos Omega), Sunday, 24 November 2002 03:26 (twenty-three years ago)

"Hookers & Blow" is cheesey because it's a 20 year old euphemism for the A&R trade. Then again, you can't find a more reliable source of trust fund kids than the A&R crowd.

― don weiner, Sunday, 24 November 2002 12:22 (twenty-three years ago)

But anyhow...isn't that what Christgau fans like in Christgau...that he's a cranky old bitch with an acid tongue? I thought his niche was to be the Dorothy-Parker-on-the-rag member of the Rock Journalism Algonquin Round Table.
He's famous for curt one-sentence dismissals of bad records...right?
This news story is just "Christgau was crankier than usual tonight."

― Lord Custos Omega (Lord Custos Omega), Monday, 25 November 2002 19:36 (twenty-three years ago)

funny thing is how annoying he can be when he's not being cynical. Compare his reviews of All Hands On The Bad One and One Beat. Or compare his Aphex Twin and DJ Shadow reviews. When something's great he turns in to Greil "hyperboleshit" Marcus.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Monday, 25 November 2002 23:34 (twenty-three years ago)

from Tricia Romano's writeup: Andy Pemberton, Blender ed in chief and bass player for Hookers 'n' Blow, countered: "I am sure Spin's covers will do better onstage than they do on the newsstand."

HAW HAW!

― James Blount (James Blount), Tuesday, 26 November 2002 06:43 (twenty-three years ago)

http://www.villagevoice.com/issues/0248/flylife.php (second item)

"notoriously surly disposition"--hahaha!

― M Matos (M Matos), Tuesday, 26 November 2002 20:06 (twenty-three years ago)

Rolling Stone trumped by Blender yet again!

― James Blount (James Blount), Tuesday, 26 November 2002 20:17 (twenty-three years ago)

I've been doing my Christgau impersonation this week:

"Could you pass the sugar?"

"I've been doing this for 35 years. Fuck you."

― James Blount (James Blount), Tuesday, 26 November 2002 20:18 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm not sure what the difference is between the run-of-the-mill tortured artist and would-be baby wound-fucker, or how they would exclude each other. I dream of doing exactly this to MTV's Suchin Pak; what does that make me?

― Kris (aqueduct), Tuesday, 26 November 2002 21:21 (twenty-three years ago)

Very very scary.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 26 November 2002 21:24 (twenty-three years ago)

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