Ideas for music videos you want to see

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1) Something like the original video for "Bodyrock", only instead of auditioning actors dancing, you get child actors and child models to audition and - with no advance warning, very important - you ask them to juggle, and then when they fail you have the casting director tell them "that was awful. I'm sorry, you didn't get the job." and then so it won't seem cruel or a downer the casting director could give them a jar of peanut butter or something. And who knows maybe one of the kids will know how to juggle.

2) Something like the old impromptu public show routine a la the Beatles, U2, Rage ATM, Homer Simpson's barbershop quartet, etc., only instead of playing on a rooftop, you show up at some other band's gig and play across the street in the parking lot or maybe you crash the stage a la Krs-One and PM Dawn.

3) A lipsyncing horse. Something like the lipsyncing animals in dirty south videos but without the tricky editing that made the chicken lipsync in the Ludacris video and no cgi stuff a la Babe. One long shot. Keep it real. Teach the horse the song.

4) Nothing but fucking but where the pixilated genitals would be have a picture of you album cover, but make it move appropriate to the action, don't just have it cover up the in n out.

5) Something like "Come to Daddy" only with old people and in color.

― James Blount (James Blount), Sunday, 1 December 2002 10:51 (twenty-two years ago)

6) Lance Henrikson relating funny stories and words of wisdom from his many years in show business (music could play beneath dialogue a la "Days Go By" video). He should look like he's sitting in his den, at his lakehouse. If Henrikson unavailable use Scott Glenn.

― James Blount (James Blount), Sunday, 1 December 2002 10:57 (twenty-two years ago)

7) Dave Eggers haranguing some waiter at great length about how his waffle wasn't prepared the way he specifically asked it be prepared and after the waiter leaves Eggers turns to the viewer a la Bono in one of the "One" videos, and says 'sorry about this' and shrugs sheepishly and then he waits for his waffle but when they bring it out wouldn't you know it they got it wrong again so he really lets loose on the waiter this time, insults his mother, wishes stds upon him, etc., and demands another waffle "the way I ordered this time PLEASE!" and then he turns to the viewer again and says "some people, I don't know" and shakes his head. At the end of the video maybe he gets his waffle, I don't know, see how it tests.

― James Blount (James Blount), Sunday, 1 December 2002 11:02 (twenty-two years ago)

8) A hotdog eating contest, featuring the members of the band (the Strokes preferably)

― James Blount (James Blount), Sunday, 1 December 2002 11:03 (twenty-two years ago)

9) Avril Lavigne learns to yo-yo!

― James Blount (James Blount), Sunday, 1 December 2002 11:04 (twenty-two years ago)

10) Chad Pennington punking that guy at the goalline last week, repeat

― James Blount (James Blount), Sunday, 1 December 2002 11:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Courtney Love doing a choreographed dance routine wearing a bikini w/ a bare midriff and dancers of every socioeconomic background and race

― Vik, Sunday, 1 December 2002 14:21 (twenty-two years ago)

KISS MY SPANISH ASS, MOTHERFUCKERS!!! I WANT A HOT DOG!!!

― julian casablancas' ass, Sunday, 1 December 2002 16:13 (twenty-two years ago)

This I fully approve of. I believe the band playing behind it should be Spunge.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Sunday, 1 December 2002 16:32 (twenty-two years ago)

11) Nothing but footage of the band attempting to do skateboard tricks, and failing miserably, a'la the Tony Hawk bonus video clips.

12) MONSTER TRUCKS

― Nate Patrin (Nate Patrin), Sunday, 1 December 2002 16:58 (twenty-two years ago)

(And I haven't even been drinking Mountain Dew)

― Nate Patrin (Nate Patrin), Sunday, 1 December 2002 17:04 (twenty-two years ago)

13) A shot-for-shot remake of Dio's "Rainbow in the Dark" - same location, same clothes, same stupid moon boots, same walking around all bored on the roof. If a hip-hop group has the chutzpah to do this, all the better.

― Nate Patrin (Nate Patrin), Sunday, 1 December 2002 17:33 (twenty-two years ago)

14) See above, replace with Scandal's "The Warrior"

― Nate Patrin (Nate Patrin), Sunday, 1 December 2002 17:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Oops, i forgot to label mine as # 11

― V or maybe Vee, Sunday, 1 December 2002 17:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Get a group that normally has vocalists to do an instrumental for a single. Feature the vocalists in the video but have their microphones constantly ripped out of their hands by giggling aliens.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 1 December 2002 19:20 (twenty-two years ago)

16) Reenact the chase scene from "Bullitt" with Radio Flyers and Nerf guns

― Nate Patrin (Nate Patrin), Sunday, 1 December 2002 19:29 (twenty-two years ago)

17) Show a heavily pregnant Britney Spears walking down a street. Crash zoom into her belly and through the aid of a fancy wipe, mix into a shot of a specially constructed minature "womb set", featuring a sock puppet for a baby. There should be a small television set displaying an edition of Thames TV Lunchtime News from 1986 (preferably featuring Robin Houston). The other feature of the set should be a bare lightbulb, swinging slightly. Keep on cutting between inside of womb and street, with sock puppet baby miming to lyrics and Britney coming across people with increasingly large hands and feet, dancing a polka. Maybe occasionally cut to the producers of the track, whoever they may be, suspended by harness above a pile of old fairy lights (plugged in and working) in "white void" set a la Kenny Everett Video Show, with joke shop large teeth and eyes. Occasional flash frames of the word "coutermand" in different colours and fonts. Then at climax of song, Britney finds herself in car park. She undoes her shirt, and her belly is revealed to feature a small door. She opens it and the sock puppet pops out, miming to the final chorus.

― Chriddof (Chriddof), Sunday, 1 December 2002 20:07 (twenty-two years ago)

i'd like to see more videos in which the singer is in front of the camera singing the song and they have a troupe of dancers behind them in a triangular formation, all wearing fluorescent jumpsuits, all performing the same clever jerky dance moves in perfect synchronisation against an entirely virtual CGI backdrop - you dont really see enough of that kind of thing on MTV

― stevem (blueski), Sunday, 1 December 2002 20:29 (twenty-two years ago)

A quiet piano solo played over shots of a thrash-metal band ripping on their instruments like hell.

― Curtis Stephens, Sunday, 1 December 2002 21:08 (twenty-two years ago)

OH THE JUXTAPOSITION! (/trife)

― mitch lastnamewithheld (mitchlnw), Sunday, 1 December 2002 22:34 (twenty-two years ago)

You mean like the Kylie video, stevem?

― Siegbran (eofor), Sunday, 1 December 2002 22:40 (twenty-two years ago)

indeed siegbran, indeed

― stevem (blueski), Sunday, 1 December 2002 22:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Funnily enough, Kylie's latest video doesn't have the jerky dancing/CGI background thing going on, instead it has her dressed normally walking through a city (only that time is repeating itself and weird shit happens. No jerky dancing though).

Danni "Frank Black Hating Nazi"* Minogue's latest video, amusingly, slavishly apes the type of video that Kylie did up until recently.

* - I recently discovered that in an issue of Smash Hits in 1992 or thereabouts she slagged off the Pixies' then new single "Planet Of Sound".

― Chriddof (Chriddof), Sunday, 1 December 2002 23:42 (twenty-two years ago)

There are too many tautologies in everything that I write. Must edit properly.

― Chriddof (Chriddof), Sunday, 1 December 2002 23:52 (twenty-two years ago)

21. Band members dress up as minor Golden Boot winning footballers who never quite achieved the same heights as they did during that one world cup (Vocals: Oleg Salenko; Guitar: Drazan Jerkovic; Bass: Oldrich Nejedly; Drums: Valentin Ivanov), before bumping into Charles Dance, who proceeds to bugger each member of the band before slitting their throat. He then runs through the streets cackling manically, his trousers still by his ankles and with the blood of the band smeared all over him, until the giant cat from The Goodies steps on him. Video ends with Maya Angelou fucking some french toast.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Sunday, 1 December 2002 23:55 (twenty-two years ago)

French Toast sticks rather!

― James Blount (James Blount), Sunday, 1 December 2002 23:59 (twenty-two years ago)

22) A re-enactment of the "Super Bowl Shuffle" video, featuring the band and crew members.

― James Blount (James Blount), Monday, 2 December 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

23) A highlight retrospective of the career of recently retired former WWF and WCW wrestler "The Beast from The East" Bam Bam Bigelow, occasionally interspersed with scenes of someone kneading bread.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 2 December 2002 02:48 (twenty-two years ago)

24) The band working as cinema usherettes, singing in between ripping tickets in half, serving nachos, and standing around talking amongst themselves. Could work well for the next Lauren Laverne project.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 2 December 2002 02:56 (twenty-two years ago)

famous people fucking FOR REAL.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Monday, 2 December 2002 03:25 (twenty-two years ago)

You really want to see a Bruce Willis/Christina Aguilera hardcore?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 2 December 2002 03:28 (twenty-two years ago)

sadly, YES. Not for long mind you. And the key thing is they don't know we're looking. I want ACTION, not acting.

Ok, I am gonna SO shut up about this one. I've said too much.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Monday, 2 December 2002 03:30 (twenty-two years ago)

No no, please, do go on.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 2 December 2002 03:33 (twenty-two years ago)

I'll say this. Worst video idea: Famous people looking into the camera and doing Austin Powers impressions.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Monday, 2 December 2002 03:37 (twenty-two years ago)

usherettes

are those the girls that do the choreographies with usher??

― Chupa-Cabras (vicc13), Monday, 2 December 2002 03:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Anthony: the new J-Lo video meets you halfway!

― James Blount (James Blount), Monday, 2 December 2002 06:28 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah. thanks to that horrid J. Ho-Ben Affliction clip (wait, paparazzi should leave you alone because you ARE having freaky sex on a yacht?) actually I just found the error in my logic: I'll only wanna see the video once.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Monday, 2 December 2002 23:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Mariah, Britney, Kylie, Avril, Shakira, J. Lo, Shania, & Michelle Branch Bikini Mudwrestling Tournament.

Music: 45 minutes of Autechre's computer giving itself a rim job

― Tom Millar (Millar), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 03:16 (twenty-two years ago)

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