VegemiteGrrl's 50 Hair Metal/Hard Rock/Sleaze Albums Poll - aka what if I opened an imaginary strip club

Let's fucking goooo
https://www.rollingstone.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/rs-213954-GettyImages-135566431.jpg?w=1581&h=1054&crop=1

voted NY Dolls (the only one of these I've heard, I am interested in attending your strip club to learn more)

Gotta go with Women and Children First, although Fair Warning is way dirtier.

$5 Wings on Tuesday nights, ladies drink free on Wednesdays

xxpost WmC sir you should acquaint yourself with more of these fine syphillis-ridden albums, a world of wonder awaits you

though the Dolls are a fine choice and my stripclub playlist would not exist without them

https://i.discogs.com/4QPXQMbcU9MP8HJN33lguQbXT7dVF1yA5v9c_juIy2Q/rs:fit/g:sm/q:90/h:600/w:600/czM6Ly9kaXNjb2dz/LWRhdGFiYXNlLWlt/YWdlcy9SLTEyNDUw/NjMtMTUzNjE1NzY3/MC04MzE5LmpwZWc.jpeg

A stripclub with no Scorpions? That’s insane.

NO WHINING

if the 1st or 3rd VH albums had been on here I would have voted for one of those

The third one is on there!

No ZZ Top?

I am so at your club VG

Hanoi Rocks then

xxxp oh shit! sorry VH

I was surprised that Shout At The Devil was actually a pretty solid album. When I first visited NY, my friend Mike gave me a cassette of it as a souvenir.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aajL0TC1HFE

Y&T in the absence of Starz

Starz lol

i dont really like any of the Motley albums except Too Fast For Love & Dr Feelgood — the middle 3 are kinda bad but each have a couple of good singles … i almost put the greatest hits comp as a dodge lol

oh man yeah i fucked up leaving off Starz, Cheap Trick, Zz Top & Scorps

maybe i’ll do over poll later when we have our grand reopening

My god, Starz is still going. I thought they hung it up after Coliseum Rock.

Starz and Angel were supporting acts for Ace Frehley on May 4, 2019, at Chesterfield Amphitheater in St. Louis County, Missouri. The St. Louis show kicked off the Midwest leg of the 2019 tour.

And Angel!

Torn between the first and second WASP albums. Maybe the first and second Runaways albums.

first WASP is a really great end to end album, i fucking LOVE IT but Last Command has Blind in Texas which fucking OWNS and Wild Child which of course rules, and the Misssissippi Queen cover on that re-release is v good

it’s a tough choice!

i mean
I’M BLIND IN TEXAS
THE COWBOYS HAVE TAKEN MY EYES

greatest lines in rock history

You could always do another poll, and if so, please consider Aerosmith and Alice in the 70s, also something by the Cramps in any time. ZZ Top aren't sleazy enough, musically. I would have voted for the first two Dolls albums, the only ones I know. Is Personality Crisis soundtrack for the doc? Prob hot, but I'll go with AAAAAAAAAAAAPPETITE FOR DEEEEEEEEEESTRUCTIONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

Queens Of Noise!

shit - sorry folks
New york Dolls album listed there is meant to be the self titled debut obv
i had ‘Personality Crisis’ in my head & put it as the album title! lol oops

it occurred to me on my evening walk last night that this should have been a singles poll :/ an albums poll was the wrong angle, since most of these bands are Eagles-level terrible at albums lol

also, sidebar question: would a more complete poll have included Lynch Mob?
my heart says yes

If Back for the Attack was there, I would have voted for it. Voted Appetite, but was really tempted to give it to Blow My Fuse.

Last time I went to a strip club, I kinda remember White Zombie being kinda popular.

It has been a while.

No place for Europe - The Final Countdown?

First two Europe albums were pretty great Rainbow/Lizzy-style toothpaste metal, then they sold out. Probably the furthest thing from sleaze though, they were very clean-cut.

"Kiss - KISS" is their debut album? Cause I do kinda like "Deuce" from that record. Can imagine someone hitting the pole for that tune.

Gotta go with Queens of Noise though. Hollywood - it feels so good. Seems strange that Shout at the Devil is only six years after that, but then what is time anymore.

Come and get it, boys.

Voted Pyromania, went with an album I didn't put in my own polls. there are a lotta classics here. The three Cinderella albums are no joke, phenomenally good really. Appetite, Hysteria, Dokken, Kix, Runaways, White Lion, Whitesnake, etc. Imagine being a teenager these days and discovering all of these albums, it's just a mind blowing scene to dig into.

Makes me want to read that oral history again.

Seems strange that Shout at the Devil is only six years after that, but then what is time anymore.

Quiet Riot's Metal Health was released on March 11, 1983. Iron Maiden's Piece of Mind was released on May 16, 1983. Metallica's Kill 'Em All was released on July 25, 1983. Shout at the Devil was released on September 23, 1983. Ozzy Osbourne's Bark at the Moon was released on November 18, 1983. In the rear view mirror it seems like one thing succeeds another, but metal used to be a million things all happening at once.

Yeah those all feel of the same ere to me, but Queens of Noise feels like it's from a previous generation. Even though Joan Jett is younger than many of those 1983 metal dudes.

*same era

It's hard to separate the Runaways' albums from the abuse that was going on.

Oh man, I listened to so many of these in a mad splurge a couple years back (and several were sadly culled from my own '88-'90-centric 50-album poll, which was a prime era for this stuff). Now I feel like I have to go back and blast through them all again. I think Cinderella maybe stood out the most as a surprisingly solid album band. You can't fuck with that first Skid Row rekkid. My revisitation of early Motley Crue paid dividends*. This is tuff!

* I just remembered the time when, as a slight and nerdy third grader, I was stopped by a neighborhood bully who, clearly just looking to give me a rash of shit, stopped me and demanded to know what I was listening to on my Walkman. I'm pretty sure a cassette of Shout at the Devil saved my life that day.

I love those 3 Cinderella albums so goddamn much - musically great, good tracks beside the singles, pure quality.
I always end up raving about them to anyone who will listen lol

also the Dokken albums rule too
(even though I mentally ding them purely bc Don Dokken is a shady bitch lol)

and yeah, I love the first Skid Row album

when i was [muffled age] i bought the Eighteen And Life cassingle and listened to it oh, 10,000 times

RICKEEE WAS A YOUNG BOY
HE HAD A HEART OF STONE
LIVED NINE TO FIVE
AND HE WORKED HIS FINGAAHS TO THE BOOOHOOOWOHHHNNN

For all the great songs (and hair) I respect Cinderella even more for avoiding the very obvious pun in their name. I can imagine the agonising at 3am meetings.

I impulsively went Appetite, when I should have gone elsewhere. I wanted The Crimson Idol (not sleazy enough?) or Slave to the Grind (very much not whining; awesome list!).

New Alice Cooper album came out yesterday and it’s blast, very funny and self aware in places. That said, had to bite for Pyromania as it for good or ill it perfected the genre.

Can report that High N Dry still goes

Embarrassed to admit that I know pretty much none of these records - the reign of hair metal happened before I seriously got into music on an album level

Voted Use Your Illusion II

torn between sooo many of these records … la guns s/t, wasp s/t, high n dry, skid row, vixen, even pump!!! but i think i have to give it to 1984

I really wish I had jumped on a lot of these albums during the era when they were all cheap on vinyl. As it is, I only have a nice clean vintage copy of pyromania and the Hysteria reissue. The rest I should invest in on CD before the inevitable revival.

I realize this is an imaginary strip club but I can’t help thinking of it literally, and I think a strip club that played whole album sides might be a good draw. You could still switch the stage performers from song to song.

Dokken’s “In My Dreams” would make for a beautiful pole routine I suspect. Haven’t listened to that album all the way through though.

I read it last year and it's very good, for the course you eventually teach on this VG it should be part of the curriculum along w/Nothin But a Good Time.

I seem to have slept on some sort of underground following of Starz. I vividly remember buying their first album when it came out, and just as vividly remember their going nowhere after that despite at least three more albums. IIRC, I realized that they had put out their last two only when I saw them in the record club mailer.

xxpost yes I LOVED that book - had known zero about Starz prior to reading that, was fascinating & I became a fan as a result!

and yes, definitely part of the syllabus

Didn't Starz do a kind of semi-concept album, was it Violation? Some sort of Clockwork Orange ripoff story, but half the album was standalone songs cos the label wanted some hits. Maybe I imagined this.

Their second album was indeed called Violation. I don't remember any particular concept.

https://www.sputnikmusic.com/review/54707/Starz-Violation/

Historically we are told that Violation was supposed to be something of a concept record relating a story about some dystopian future where rock music has become a criminalized form of expression. Unfortunately Capitol records saw things differently and had the songs re-sequenced and removed any other hints of a unifying plot.

lol I was right, are there any other hair metal concept albums?

Capitol was the shittiest major label back in the day, with the possible exception of MCA.

I can't think of any other "hair metal" concept albums. 2112 has a similar concept to the one quoted above.

Queensryche’s Operation Mindcrime was a concept album, right? I know not hair metal but

WASP’s Crimson Idol also too i think? but I have not listened to it

What strip club doesn't play Back in Black?

Love your enthusiasm VG. Good stuff.

Operation: Mindcrime was def a concept album, had a plot etc

I love a lot of these & want to be the guy voting for Y&T, love them, but that NY Dolls debut is a super important record in my life

re: concept albums, not exactly the poll type stuff but

Nov 09, 2015
"We are gathered here tonight to lay to rest Abigail LeFay...we now know was first born dead...

... on the 7th day of July 1777....Abigail must be nailed to her coffin with seven silver spikes...one through each arm hand and knee and let the last of the seven be drawn through her mouth so she may never rise and cause evil again....who will be the first?"

The best KING DIAMOND album period the end. Disagree? Well you're wrong.
Even the KING himself knows its his best as he is playing the entire album on this tour.
This record is a MUST HAVE for anyone who likes hard rock / heavy metal. Every song is amazing, The FUNERAL intro (which starts in my title is as creepy as THE OATH's intro
A great story! In fact this was the FIRST heavy metal concept album. I saw the original Abigail tour in 1987 however this time he's playing EVERY track!
LONG LIVE THE KING !!!!!!

re Y&T i wish I had included Open Fire!
the live version of Forever goes so hard <3

Streets: A Rock Opera by Savatage

The story features a fallen rock star called DT Jesus (DT is short for either De-Tox or Down-Town), who has hit hard times. He is a drug dealer as the story begins and just another lowlife on the streets of New York City. Streets recounts the story behind DT Jesus and his rise to fame again and his second fall.

The concept of Streets is based on a book written by Paul O'Neill in 1979 as a Broadway play and stored in a drawer at O'Neill's home until guitarist Criss Oliva found it and suggested it be Savatage's next album.[1] It was never meant to be an autobiography and it is considered coincidental that the life of lead vocalist Jon Oliva mirrored that of the main character DT Jesus at the time.[1][2]

hell yeah

love it

Dr. Davis, telephone please. Dr. Davis, telephone please.

My favorites are Shout at the Devil and Appetite for Destruction, but I voted for Dr. Feelgood. Although it undeniably has more filler than those records, Dr. Feelgood (along with Pump* and Skid Row) felt like the true high-water mark for the genre. Pump SOLD more than Dr. Feelgood, but Pump didn't have a sick hospital-green album cover. Sure, 1990 gave us a few big albums to carry that momentum like Stick It To Ya and Cherry Pie and Pornograffiti and let's not forget The Razors Edge. But even though UYI went super-massive the year after that, it was definitely the final scream.

This 1988 Metal Edge article:

We caught up with Nikki Sixx and Mick Mars in LA. as they worked on tracks for the LP, which they’re sure will be a monster—in fact, Monsterous is one title they’re toying with. Another is SSRR—Sex, Sex, and Rock ‘N Roll, appropriate considering the subjects of the 17 songs they’ve written.

I was so worried that they were going to call the album Sex, Sex, and Rock n Roll and my mom wouldn't let me buy it.

I don't even know what to say about this album. Is a 17-year-old male possible O.D. terrifying? Is Jimmy the only one they call Feelgood? Does Kickstart My Heart have the best talk-box solo ever? Are half these songs totally cancelled? Is Without You the most syrupy dreck ever to never end up on a Monster Ballads compilation? Who blamed it on the rain better in '89 - Don't Go Away Mad or Milli Vanilli?

Of course, that's just me forgetting how good Kix are. I wasn't a big Kix fan growing up, but my one of my best friends often tried to convince me. I remember him trying to play Red Light Green Light TNT for me. Already knowing AC/DC's TNT and Motley Crue's TNT (Terror 'n Tinseltown), I was just like, when the hell are people going to stop writing songs about TNT? Don't Close Your Eyes was ever present on 98 Rock in the summer of 89, not long after Lita Ford/Ozzy's Close My Eyes Forever. And I liked that one, but again, when are people gonna stop writing songs about closing their eyes??? Sorry Kix, that you couldn't catch a break with me.

The only other Kix song I knew was 1991's Girl Money, which sounded to me at the time like an example of glam metal sounding dated and out-of-place on the radio, even though it beat the alternative explosion by a few months.

Eventually, I heard Cold Blood thanks to it being recommended on ilx somewhere. THAT one blew my mind and opened the door for me.

Looks like they're playing their final show next month at Merriweather Post Pavilion. Wonder if I can convince my wife to go.

this is W.A.S.P. and it's not even close

though that's not a slight on the other albums here.

the Cinderellas are all great, the Def Leppards, most of the GNRs, and Skid Row, the Van Halens, and the first two Crues

W.A.S.P., best known for the controversial single "Fuck Like a Beast."

Streets: A Rock Opera by Savatage

JESUS SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVES

This thread inspired me to go out and buy appetite for destruction on CD again, realized I didn't have it. Also, under lock and key by dokken.

This thread inspired me to go out to a strip club.

They played Scorpions.

And Black Velvet.

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

Get those votes in, dirtbags!!!

I can’t remember if i even voted yet or not, feeling WASP but leaning Cinderella, so torn, so torn.

I mean, fuckin' Van Halen.

"scariest bag of feral cats" is gonna be stuck in my head forever now when I think of most of these bands but esp GnR, thank u sincerely VG

oh and i encourage you to find it in yr hearts to vote for Warrant bc Janey Lane & the boys deserve some love - it’s a great album imo

xpost lol np

Had to go with hysteria. The biggest, the hugest

great choice, it rules

I had almost all these on tape as a kid, why didn't I keep them? (Except I had no WASP, they scared me.) Voted Too Fast for Love because I still listen to it

Number of albums heard: 16

Favourite: MCMLXXXIV over KISS (though Invasion of Your Privacy would have been in contention). New York Dolls has more good songs than my other choices put together, but I see it as a different sort of record to the rest of the list.

Least-favourite: David Lee Roth

Nicest surprise: Twisted Sister

Unheard, but most want to hear: Kix, I guess

Number of strip clubs attended: 0

Related, did any of y'all read the book covering Aerosmith, Cheap Trick, Kiss, and Starz?

I'm reading the book mentioned above - They Just Seem a Little Weird; How KISS, Cheap Trick, Aerosmith and Starz Remade Rock and Roll.
Starz seem to get into the book because they shared management with KISS and played with Aerosmith. There's a lot of testimonies throughout the book from young fans of these groups who grew up to become 80s or 90s musicians, and Starz seem to have been as beloved a group as the others were. A lot of fans and people in the industry apparently expected them to do a lot better than they did.
The book itself is well-written enough, anecdotal and not theoretical at all. There's almost as much on the managers, scenesters and business dealings as on the music.

― Halfway there but for you, Thursday, April 15, 2021 1:27 AM (two years ago) bookmarkflaglink

Aerosmith are one of the four 70s US bands whose history is explored in the recent book They Just Seem a Little Weird. My main takeaway about them/Tyler was that he has an unfortunate predilection for having screaming fits after shows, which cause him to blow out his voice and have to cancel subsequent concerts. Also he and Kiss hate each other.

And Kiss hate him because he disrespects their music and says they got by on spectacle.

Everybody likes Rick Nielsen though (except Bun E. Carlos)!

love that enuff z'nuff album

Stay Hungry (Twisted Sister) is SUCH a great album. “The Price” one of my all time fave Twisted Sister songs + fave all time

i love when a first album can be a document of how ~good~ a band is at a moment in time - they’d toured so much & developed their chops as a band already that when the record deal comed they are fucking ready to GO & it shows in their playing & their writing

Cinderella had this too imo - also not metal but (pre-crash) Skynyrd very much the same, first album just out of the gate Here We Are

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

Hanoi Rocks in a walk! nice <3
not a bad range of votes here!

New Jersey ties with Use Your Illusion II, an actual New Jersey! Well done to the Finns anyway.

W.A.S.P - W.A.S.P 1

Appoint a special prosecutor imo

sorry i voted Cinderella in the end

xp: I had never listened to W.A.S.P. beyond Animal, so I had a great time checking the first album out. It didn't overrule any of my personal favorites, but I really liked it. I'm sure someone will find this sacrilegious, but it reminded me of Shout At The Devil. Slightly favoring the metal influences over the glam influences. A little dark, scary, and street tough. At times I could hear the progginess of something like Iron Maiden shining through, but more concise.

Listening to it on Spotify though, one of the bonus tracks was the Animal b-side, Show No Mercy, which features the refrain White Anglo-Saxon/A violent reaction/Fire is my fuel/Steel and iron rule. And the song's supposed to be some post-apocalyptic biker fantasy, but obviously there's some sort of racial tribalism element in there as well. This reminded me of Chris Holmes' infamous racist confrontation with Slash at the Rainbow Bar (as documented in both Slash's and Duff's memoirs). And then, googling that, I found that Chris Holmes is still an enormous racist. Which led me to the fact that the band was using confederate flags on its merch as recently as 2015, way after Holmes left. Not that other hair bands don't have their own racist baggage, but it did take me aback.

That is to say, I don't want to give them any further streaming bucks, but I might pick up the album if it pops up used at a local shop, minus the bonus tracks.

Slightly favoring the metal influences over the glam influences. A little dark, scary, and street tough.

And, just to continue on with this, this is the side of the genre where I know I don't know much, but I don't really know as much about as I do the pretty boys who dominated the second half of the decade. It feels less like glam metal or hair metal to me than it just seems like "heavy metal" full-stop. Not glam, not doom, not power metal. But there's probably a term for it that I just don't know.

What genre is Ozzy Fudd the Wabbit Slayer, and more importantly, can someone strip to it?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TnxmZmk9iw8

i admit I was wrong to omit Ratt’s Way Cool Jr

Ratt still suck and are still choads but Way Cool Jr sounds like an actual strip club & should have been in the poll

Well, Way Cool Jr. is the obvious highlight from Reach for the Sky, although I think it's better than its reputation. I haven't listened to it since I was 10 or so, but going through it right now. I must have given it more than a few spins back then, because the songs are coming back to me as I'm listening despite never once thinking of them in the past 35 years, which is a strange experience. Another thing to note is that, although the riffage can be pretty cookie-cutter, Warren DeMartini's solos rule.

I purchased it solely because of the Way Cool Jr. video, for which I snuck an inordinate amount of MTV just trying to catch another glimpse after having my mind absolutely kicked open the first time I saw it. I might have been hoping that by some magic, a naked woman would emerge fully formed from my tiny boombox speakers.

Same obsession with Britney Fox's Girlschool, although I never ended up buying a copy of that one.

https://i.makeagif.com/media/10-04-2023/w1gCgE.gif

I always wondered about the Reach for the Sky album cover. Even as a kid, I could tell it didn't match up with the music.

https://i.discogs.com/-6GfA12GP3M-1F3HAC0ZMCCrmBTcwLFm_mAc0VgkeWM/rs:fit/g:sm/q:90/h:586/w:600/czM6Ly9kaXNjb2dz/LWRhdGFiYXNlLWlt/YWdlcy9SLTIwNTk1/OTItMTI3MjI4Mjk3/MC5qcGVn.jpeg

Apparently, this was a rejected concept:

Was an option for the RATT “Reach For The Sky” cover art work. @theRATTpack I still have a bunch of these. Prob one of these will make Tour tees 👍🏻☠️ pic.twitter.com/WE4BnFpN1K

— STEPHEN E PEARCY (@StephenEPearcy) August 1, 2019

Boy, I haven’t listened to Hanoi Rocks since 10th grade. Does it really hold up?

no