Why the Vines are better than the Strokes, the Hives, and all those other Vowel Bands.

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

Ugh. This should really be titled "Why Mainstream Magazines (internet or otherwise) Should Just NOT Publish Music Reviews": Slate is whack, per the usual

So I guess my question is, why do I read these things?

― hstencil, Friday, 6 December 2002 20:08 (twenty-two years ago)

1) Why "vowel" bands? "Plural" bands would make more sense. If you want vowel bands, go listen to eE or OOIOO.

2) Including the Doves on the list of "vowel" bands = the most moronic hack move ever, even more moronic than this article on Swedish bands that implies that the Vines are from Sweden.

3) The author didn't even make a case for why the Vines are "better" than the other bands, apart from the limp-wristed swipe of "the Strokes seem to be in it for the photo shoots". You wanna say that the Vines are underrated, or that despite being the most commercial of the new-rock crop they're still pretty good? That's fine. But saying they're better than the Strokes, White Stripes, and the Hives? You'd have to write a much better article than this pile of ass drippings.

― Nick Mirov (nick), Friday, 6 December 2002 22:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Surely the Strokes and doves were last year's story, not this year's? I agree, Nick, doves don't really fit in with the group.
The writer shows, if nothing else, a canny ability to hone in on the most annoying of a batch for praises.
Do people really pay $25 to see the White Stripes?

― webcrack (music=crack), Friday, 6 December 2002 23:02 (twenty-two years ago)

What about NON-vowel bands? The only one I can think of is M (of "Pop Muzik" fame). (Though I suppose there's other ones who would just have consonants for *initials*. So let's not count them, okay?)

― chuck e., Friday, 6 December 2002 23:07 (twenty-two years ago)

I just Googled the phrase "vowel band" for both the web and Usenet. No hits returned. I'm guessing he's confusing "vowel" with either "noun" or "definite article"? What a clown.

― Curt (cgould), Friday, 6 December 2002 23:14 (twenty-two years ago)

I actually found ILM through a google search for "vowel bands".

― Adam A. (Keiko), Friday, 6 December 2002 23:56 (twenty-two years ago)

It's a sort of poor article for people who don't actively follow this sort of thing, sure. I wouldn't say it's offensively poor, but yeah. It mostly seems as if he was meant to write a "timely" article on the new spate of rock bands, for an audience that hasn't bothered figuring out too much about them, and through this he found himself with the position to pick one of the bunch to direct people to. God knows why he picked the Vines. The best I can figure from his tone is that he finds the others too "constructed," maybe: the Stripes are actually a bit odd and interesting, the Strokes have a fashion-slacker schtick, and the Hives are as stagey and theatrical as it gets, the Baz Luhrmann version of a rock band -- whereas the Vines just come striding along like regular guys and play pretty straightforward rock songs. This is why I find them the worst of the bunch, but for some reason I get the sense that it's why he finds them the best.

― nabisco (nabisco), Saturday, 7 December 2002 00:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Permal Scerm, Mertherferker

― Ferg (Ferg), Saturday, 7 December 2002 00:38 (twenty-two years ago)

People with a hatred of vowel bands may like to listen to SWV, Ty, and XTC.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Saturday, 7 December 2002 01:44 (twenty-two years ago)

And X. Don't forget X.

That's a weird fucking ending to an article: wrapping it up with "what's that other one called? Oh, yeah: the Hives". Guh? Way to leave the reader with an impression of irritation with a semi-tangential act instead of enthusiasm FOR THE ACTUAL BAND YOU ARE WRITING ABOUT.

― Nate Patrin (Nate Patrin), Saturday, 7 December 2002 01:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Would Lynyrd Skynyrd count as a consonant band? What about DMX? Those aren't his real initials, after all...

How about a vowel album— Oui, by the Sea & Cake?

― Nick Mirov (nick), Saturday, 7 December 2002 02:08 (twenty-two years ago)

All of David Samuels' writing is like this, but then again it always was. I was in a college creative writing class with him, and even back then none of us had any idea what he was banging on about.

― Matt C., Saturday, 7 December 2002 03:52 (twenty-two years ago)

I recognize his tone of voice. He's trying to prove himself. He's trying to stump, thump, and trump. He's got anonymous/impotent young man syndrome.
At the very very least, he DOES do what a columnist should, present an opinion his/her readers can have an opinion on (even if said opinion is "what a maroon").
He doesn't seem to really care though. He seems to be making his point because someone told him he needs to be outspoken.
When he turns 16 and learns how to drive, he'll forget all about this writing nonsense anyhow.

― Horace Mann, Saturday, 7 December 2002 06:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Special note:
I saw the White Stripes live in Detroit not too long ago, it cost 15 dollars, that includes all the ticketmaster surcharges.

I saw they once had a concert that cost 32 (including ticketmaster), but that was this big Strokes/White Stripes shindig they had.

But making them look like evil sell-outs was funny none the less.

― David Allen, Saturday, 7 December 2002 06:31 (twenty-two years ago)

I'll give him that his description of why he like the Vines wasn't bad (I probably prefer "Get Free" to all the other bands stuff, but I hate the Oasisy crap), but yes, this Vowel Band shit is hilariously off-target.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Saturday, 7 December 2002 18:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Give me Dashboard Confessional any ol'day.

― Chris Ryan (chrisryan), Saturday, 7 December 2002 18:55 (twenty-two years ago)

What about NON-vowel bands? The only one I can think of is M (of "Pop Muzik" fame). (Though I suppose there's other ones who would just have consonants for *initials*. So let's not count them, okay?)

WCKR SPGT!

― donut bitch (donut), Saturday, 7 December 2002 21:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Vowel Bands face off Vs. Number Bands; U2 torn & confused

― Tom Millar (Millar), Sunday, 8 December 2002 01:56 (twenty-two years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.