Five Bands You Hate for Their Name Alone Without Worrying About Their Music
01: Mott the Hoople
02: The Headstones
03: "____" and the "_____"s
04: Anal Cunt
05: Anything with "rock," "rockin'," "rockers," etc.
1. IMHO, the most gawdawful group name ever. 2. How...Daring! 3. With one exception: Captain Beefheart & His/The Magic Band. 4. Kiss your mother with that mouth? 5. I'm sure you all agree.
Five Bands You Love for Their Name Alone Without Worrying About Their Music
01: Half Man Half Biscuit
02: Tex Pistols
03: Black Oak Arkansas
04: Minutemen
05: The Mothers of Invention
1. Oh, how I woulda loved to have thought of this! Anybody know what they sounded like? 2. Ditto. 3. For a simple reason: The band hailed from Black Oak, Arkansas! To my knowledge, the first & ONLY geographical name to include both town AND state name. 4. Just perfect (& also multi-meaningful). 5. The record co. insisted that "The Mothers" was too controversial, so they insisted upon the last two words being added. Zappa was resentful (natch), but the new name was an improvement.
Five Beatles Songs or Albums You Never Want to Hear Again
01: "Love Me Do"
02: "The Long and Winding Road"
03: "Honey Pie"
04: "I'll Get You"
05: "What You're Doing"
It's strangely reassuring to recognize that your 2nd or 3rd favourite band was capable of recording some awful stuff. Such as: 1. From this, their first composition, L & M progressed to become rock's best songwriters? Amazing. Aside from the nice harmonica (inspired, of course, by Bruce Channel's "Hey! Baby"), this is worthless. 2. Actually, I suspect that this whole list could be taken from "Let It Be,” but I'm not gonna buy the CD and listen for the 6th time ever just to make sure. 3. Among McCartney's music-hall ditties, I like a few ("Maxwell's Silver Hammer, " "When I'm 64") and hate the rest. The Tiny Tim-type vocals make this the most cringeworthy. 4. Dunno why I now hate this song --I liked it when I was 7, when it was the only Beatles record I owned (B-side of "She Loves You"). 5. Just too dissonant (? I think that's the word I mean...) BTW, I quite like "Revolution 9," but then I'm kind of a sick bastard who actually enjoys listening to Metal Machine Music for pleasure every now & again.
01: "Love Me Do"
02: "The Long and Winding Road"
03: "Honey Pie"
04: "I'll Get You"
05: "I Need You"
Sorry 'bout the duplicate posting; I only wanted to fix my previous #5 by restoring the ENTIRE title ("What You're Doing"), until I realized that this early George Harrison "effort" was even worse.
Five Favourite Moments in Canadian Musical History
01: Neil Young, "Cinnamon Girl"
02: Motorhead is formed, thanks largely to Canada Customs officers at the Windsor-Detroit border!
03: Nomeansno, Wrong LP
04: Glass Tiger, Platinum Blonde mercifully vanish by decade's ('80s) end.
05: CKLW, early 1970s
1. The heaviest riff in history, and all Neil had to do was tune his E-string down to D! Every time I hear it, I wish that final unaccompanied-guitar postscript would last forever. 2. On tour with Hawkwind, '75; Lemmy's arrested trying to cross the border with dope (crystal meth, naturally) and is given the boot by his bandmates--partly because they disapprove of his drug-of-choice. So he forms his own band and voila. And then the drug charge is tossed, apparently because he was wrongly charged with COCAINE possession! 3. Fantastic LP from a great group that took me 10 yrs to discover. Kinda like Minutemen covering Motorhead, or maybe Goodfellas remade starring the 3 Stooges. 4. Self-explanatory. 5. Ah, nostalgia...growing up in southern Ontario, early '70s, driving around with my parents, car radio tuned to "The Big 8" & my 6-year old self bouncing around in the back seat (sans safety-belt!) to the beat of all those great, (or sometimes lousy) unforgettable songs (occasionally Canadian, more often not) that forever warped my mind into its present state! "Theme from Shaft," "Brown Eyed Girl," "Where Evil Grows," (Led Zep's) "Rock and Roll," "Troglodyte,” "Sweet City Woman," "Polk Salad Annie," "Family Affair," "Spirit in the Sky," "Brand New Key," "Bad Moon Rising," "Spill the Wine" & I could go on & on... Oh, and WORST Canadian musical moment? Let's say Sheriff's "When I'm With You," a song so crappy that it became a hit TWICE--first when I started high school, later in college.
Five Rock Critic Cliches That Most Make Your Skin Crawl
01: "'[random song title]' alone makes this LP/CD worth the price of admission..."
02: "[Here we have a] kinder, gentler, Metallica/REM/Nine Inch Nails/Eminem/Etcetera
03: "After their multiplatinum debut, So-and-so hope to avoid the sophomore jinx..."
04: "Rock-solid drumming..."
05: "Rock-solid bass playing..."
1. Great, where can I buy a ticket? 2. Who would've expected George Bush to be more plagiarized by rockcrits than Lester Bangs & Greil Marcus combined? 3-5. Self-explanatory. Rock Critic Cliche #6: The Top 5 List!
Top Five Songs to Drink (or Get Drunk) To
01: "Factory Girl," The Stones
02: "I Feel Love," Donna Summer
03: "Sister Luck" (or anything else on Black Crowes' Shake Your Moneymaker)
04: "The Sick Bed of Cuchulainn" (or EVERYTHING on the Pogues' Rum, Sodomy & the Lash)
05: Bruce Springsteen, "Born in the USA" (or everything from his LP of the same name)
1. Can't explain. 2. Ditto .3. This is the only LP I ever heard that improves when I'm drunk. 4. Booze is prominent in 6 of the 7 originals. 5. Just for nostalgia: This LP was playing constantly during the night I first got drunk.
Five Songs You Want Played at Your Funeral
01: "4'33," John Cage
02: "Anniversary of World War III," the West Coast Pop Art Experimental Band
03: "Nutopian International Anthem," John Lennon
04: "There's a Riot Goin On," Sly & the Family Stone
05: "Conversation," Roland Kirk
The first 5 persons to discern the unifying thread in these 5 songs can contact me and win one (1) Canadian dollar!
Five Funniest Pop Musicians
01: Richard Meltzer
02: Lemmy Kilmister - Motorhead
03: Robert Fripp
04: David Lee Roth
05: Keith Moon
1. Obviously, better known as a writer than performer, but we all know that the man's a scream, a genius, & a real rock and roller at heart! And, also a performer for a short while (lead singer of Vom). 2. Read his liner notes (particularly "Iron Fist" and "No Remorse"), lyrics, and especially interviews: His brilliance is undeniable. "[Playing at a Liver Foundation benefit] is not really charity so much as it is investing in my future!" 3. No kidding! Once again, interviews tell most of the story, revealing a truly eccentric attitude best described (if at all) as flaky self-deprecating ironic mock-pretentiousness! Yeah, that's it. 4. Diamond Dave is funnier and more likable than any other rocker whose (post-Halen) music I hate! He would deserve mention even if only for his devastating observation that all rockcrits liked Elvis Costello "because they all look like him!" 5. Moon's account of his anarchic birthday celebration (in Flint, Michigan, while on tour) that ended with him driving a car into the hotel pool is one of the funniest things I've ever read! Honourable mentions: the Coasters, the Fugs, the Bonzo Dog Band, Rich Stim (MX-80 Sound). Although I've always loved their music, Zappa, Beefheart and George Clinton always tried too hard, which actually rendered them LESS funny IMHO. And finally, I daresay that this is surely the only rock list ever to mention both Lemmy and Fripp!
Five Favourite Haircuts in Pop Music
01: Ronnie Spector circa '63 / (bouffant? I dunno - ignorant)
02: Elvis, 1968 TV comeback / d.a.(?), great sideburns
03: Cindy Wilson & Kate Strickland, B-52s / beehive
04: Robert Plant, 1969-75 / shag
05: Tina Turner, late 1980s / wig
Like I commented on the "tight pants" list, I'm not gay but maybe I shoulda been….
Five Favourite Instrumental Songs of All-Time
01: "The Noonward Race" - Mahavishnu Orchestra, 1971
02: "Hair Pie, Bake One" - Captain Beefheart & His Magic Band, 1969
03: "East-West" - Paul Butterfield Blues Band, 1966
04: "The Star-Spangled Banner" - Jimi Hendrix 1969 (Woodstock)
05: "Aftermath" - MX-80 Sound
It's understood we're talking about POP here, not jazz o'course; that #1 IS pop-not-jazz; that these are in no real order; that they can be replaced @ any given time by any other 5 from a pool of about 30-35 intros that I love more or less equally.
01: "Green Onions" - Booker T & the MGs, 1962
02: "Hard" - MX-80 Sound, 1975
03: "Reoccurring Dreams" - Husker Du, 1984
04: "Right Off " (aka Side 1 of Jack Johnson) - Miles Davis, 1971
05: "Alice in Blunderland" - Capt. Beefheart, 1972
Told you so.
Five Favourite Liner Notes
01: Bob Dylan - Bringing It All Back Home
02: Replacements - Sorry Ma, Forgot to Take Out the Trash
03: Lemmy/Motorhead - Iron Fist
04: Frank Zappa/Mothers of Invention - Freak Out!
05: Anything at all by Robert Fripp
Honourable mentions: Jeff Beck - Truth, Paul Nelson/Butterfield Blues Band - East-West, Jim McCarty/Yardbirds - Roger the Engineer
Five Unspeakably Hideous Album Covers
01: Rush - Hemispheres
02: Billy Idol - Charmed Life
03: Anthrax - Fistful of Metal
04: Beatles - Magical Mystery Tour
05: Rolling Stones - Let it Bleed
1. Homoeroticism intentional or not, this is gawdawful either way - worse (even) than anything Hypgnosis ever coughed up for Pink Floyd et al. 2. Obviously, any cover featuring Mr. Idol's face and, hence, his loathsome un-housebroken upper lip belongs on this list. And an "artist's" rendering is worse than a photograph. 3. Repulsive and poorly-drawn to boot! Metal fans of reasonable intelligence were embarrassed by this sort of eye-garbage, and rightfully so (we were.) 4. I assume it looks fantastic on acid. 5. I assume it looks fantastic on heroin. Special honourable mention to AC/DC and R.E.M. for maintaining a consistent high/low standard: nearly a half-century of awful cover art between 'em! Oh, and BEST cover art? A tie between Funhouse (Stooges) and the first Black Sabbath.
Five Motown Songs You Never Want to Hear Again
01: "I Just Called To Say I Love You,” Stevie Wonder
02: "Wholly Holy,” Marvin Gaye
03: "Abraham, Martin and John,” Miracles
04: "The Happening,” Supremes
05: "My Girl,” Temptations
I've never listened to a whole lot of Motown, so there's probably worse stuff out there that I've never heard; but these are pretty bad in their own right. 1. Assuming he was still at Motown at the time, not that it matters much. Horrible song; he's been a joke ever since. Too bad. 2. I usually dislike religious songs, esp. when they ruin the flow of otherwise superb LPs. 3. Yuck! 4. Too Vegas-y. 5. I've just never liked this song, sorry. (And I certainly don't like the Hall & Oates remake either).
Five Favourite Uses of Pop Music in the Movies
01: "Be My Baby," Ronettes, in Mean Streets, dir. Martin Scorsese
02: "Born To Be Wild," Steppenwolf, in Easy Rider, dir. Dennis Hopper
03: "Do Your Thing," Charles Wright, in Boogie Nights, dir. Paul Thomas Anderson
04: "Stuck In The Middle With You," Stealers Wheel, in Reservoir Dogs, dir. Quentin Tarantino
05: "Stayin' Alive," Bee Gees, in Saturday Night Fever, dir. John Badham
1. Chosen from a dozen equally great Scorsese moments simply for being the first song in his first great movie. 3. Just one of several stunning musical scenes in this movie; overall, the best-ever non-Scorsese pop movie. Honourable mentions: Motorhead's "Ace of Spades" during the convenience-store shootout in Grosse Pointe Blank, Iggy's "Lust for Life" opening Trainspotting.
Five Favourite Songs Not Sung in English
01: "White Riot," the Clash
02: "Louie, Louie," Kingsmen
03: "Rocks Off," Rolling Stones
04: "Butthole Surfer," Butthole Surfers
05: "Suck Your Bone," Voivod
If you can prove that those actually ARE sung in English, here's a few alternates: "La Bamba" (Richie Valens), "TV Glotzer" (Nina Hagen), "Se a Cabo" (Santana), "99 Luftballoons" (Nena), "Ja Ja Ja" (Trio - not to be confused with their hit "Da Da Da")
Five Favourite Novelty Songs
01: "Snoopy vs. the Red Baron," the Royal Guardsmen
02: "Charlie Brown," the Coasters
03: "Dance of the Hours," Spike Jones & His City Slickers
04: "Horace the Swinging School Bus Driver," Jan & Dean
05: "The Crunge," Led Zeppelin
2. Chosen from a dozen-plus equally superb Leiber/Stoller Coasters creations. 3. "A wreck! A wreck in the far turn, a man skidding around out of control, up to the fence, down to the fence unless he's careful he's going to hit that fence please don't hit that fence!"-(snap)-"He hit it!" 4. A near-clone of "Little Old Lady from Pasadena" which I love nearly as much. 5. A loving James Brown tribute/parody that's as idiotic, funny & funky as any JB creation, plus nearly as danceable despite the alternating 7/8 and 5/8 time signatures. Honourable mentions: "Hocus Pocus" by Focus, several songs by Frank Zappa, Butthole Surfers, Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band, P-Funk, etc. & especially "Airplane" by D.J. Lebowitz, the most idiotic thing you're never likely to hear...
01: How could
02: I have
03: forgotten
04: "Surfin' Bird"
05: by the Trashmen?!
Oh well, no harm done...
Five Favourite Opening Lines to a Song
01: "Live and let Live," Love: "Oh the snot has caked against my pants/It has turned into crystal"
02: "Norwegian Wood," Beatles: "I once had a girl/Or should I say, she once had me"
03: "Sweet Emotion," Aerosmith: "You're talking 'bout things that nobody cares/And you're wearing out things that nobody wears"
04: "TV Eye." Stooges: "LAAAAAAAAAAWWWD!!"
05: "Workshop of the Telescopes," Blue Oyster Cult: "By silverfish imperetrix whose incorrupted eye/Sees through the charms of doctors and their wives"
1. Sung in Arthur Lee's usual precious, gorgeous, clearly enunciated style, to devastating effect. 2. Later borrowed by George Clinton (substituting "life" for "girl") in Funkadelic's "Can You Get to That?" 3. Steven Tyler had a million of 'em: lines that didn't mean a hell of a lot, but sure sounded (& sang) good! 4. What can I say?! 5. Huh?...Seriously, the Cult (and their various lyricists) were the absolute kings of the arcane, indecipherable lyric; and "...Telescopes"' 2nd line was even stranger, if possible: "By salamander, drake and the power that was Ondine/Rise to claim Saturn, ring and sky." O-kay... Inevitable honourable mentions: Dylan's "Subterranean Homesick Blues" ("Johnny's in the basement mixing up the medicine" etc.); Public Enemy's "Bring the Noise" ("BASS! How low can you go?/Death row, what a brother know"); Slayer's "Necrophobic" ("Strangulation mutilation cancer of the brain/Limb dissection amputation from a mind deranged"); the Doors' "Crystal Ship" ("Before you slip into unconsciousness/I'd like to have another kiss/Another flashing chance at bliss/Another kiss"); "Incense and Peppermints," Strawberry Alarm Clock ("Incense in a sense [innocence?] crippling and kind/Dead kings many things I can't define."
Five Most Overrated Critical Darlings
01: Big Star
02: Van Morrison
03: R.E.fuckingM.
04: Elvis (both of 'em)
05: Anybody from the '50s except Chuck, Bo, or Buddy
Big Star - A coupla passable poptunes, barely enough to fill both sides of a 45 & neither one nearly as good as "Sugar, Sugar" or "Dancing Queen." Probably inspired REM too. REM's LP covers the ugliest in history ('cept Murmur's, which I quite like!). Elvis wasn't bad, but his music was waayyyy behind his "cultural significance" or whatever. And worse rock writer? Easily Ralph J. Gleason, also a lousy jazz writer.
01: The Clash
02: Aretha Franklin
03: The! Rolling! Stones!
04: R.E.M.
05: Jerry Lee Lewis
1. 1/2 of a good punk-rock LP, then all downhill... 2. (or maybe not; I'm not a big fan of Aretha or non-funky soul music in general: ignoramus me). 3. Hard to believe that they were one of the greats from 1964 to 1972. 4. Not to mention the most hideous LP covers I've ever seen. 5. And Sinatra gets all the dames to hisself.
Five Favourite Pre-Rock Rockers (Not Necessarily Musicians)
01: Salvador Dali
02: Tex Avery
03: James Cagney
04: Charlie Parker
05: Mark Twain
I don't know nuthin' about art but I also don't know nuthin' 'bout birthin' babies...
Five Favourite Producers
01: Tom Wilson - Bob Dylan, Velvet Underground, John Coltrane, Frank Zappa & the Mothers of Invention, Cecil Taylor, Simon & Garfunkel
02: Jimmy Page - Led Zeppelin
03: The Bomb Squad - Public Enemy, Ice Cube
04: Rick Rubin - Slayer, Beastie Boys, Trouble, LL Cool J
05: George Martin - The Beatles
1. Actually, maybe not all that great a producer--none of these recordings SOUNDED all that spectacular--but that list of names is unsurpassed. 2.Led Zep was the best-recorded rock group ever, period, and Page was the reason why. 3.Hip-hop is arguably more reliant on PRODUCTION than any other pop genre, and these guys were the masters. 4.Bettered by the Bomb Squad rap-wise, but unbeaten by ANYONE metal-wise. 5.For better more than for worse, the Beatles were the first band to RELY upon production, so give George credit. Also produced a lot of sludge (America) but I'll forgive him.
Five Favourite Rock Books
01: Chuck Eddy – Stairway to Hell
02: Richard Meltzer - A Whore Just Like the Rest
03: Joe Carducci - Rock and the Pop Narcotic
04: Dave Marsh - The Heart of Rock and Soul
05: Ben Watson - Frank Zappa: The Negative Dialectics of Poodle Play
...maybe this category should be changed to "Top 5 ASIDE from PR & CD,” which OBVIOUSLY belongs on everyone's list (except Anthony "Albert Goldman Lives" DeCurtis.) My list follows that assumption. Inevitable honourable mentions: Greil Marcus' Ranters & Crowd Pleasers, Steven Davis' Hammer of the Gods, Charles Shaar Murray's Crosstown Traffic, Dellio & Woods' I Wanna Be Sedated, (hilarious!), Christgau's Consumer Guides ('70s & '80s).
Five Favourite Rock Mags and Fanzines of All-Time
01: CREEM, in its (pre-'90s) entire run
02: Crawdaddy, 1967-69
03: Graffiti, entire run (1984-88)
04: Motorbooty, 1987-present?
05: Spin, 1985-88
Note: Never seen the highly-touted Why Mucous Socks, which conceivably might've made THIS LIST; about which: 1. A no-brainer in every sense of the word! Their legendary slogan "America's Only Rock n' Roll Magazine" (reminiscent [at least to me] of Salvador Dali's great quote, "The difference between me and the surrealists is that I am a surrealist!") said it all. Often better than the music it covered. The list of its contributors is unparalleled. 2. Merits inclusion if only for the "mere" (ha ha) early convoluted contributions of "R." Meltzer; plus Paul Williams, worthy of much more respect than he gets these days. 3. Wonderful, much-missed ultraslick Canuck rag. Fondly recalled for, among other things: Peter Payne's Video Views column (vids rated FUN, OK or NO FUN based mostly upon Pete's single shameless aesthetic: amount of skin revealed); Celebrity Word-Association (most unforgettably featuring Butthole Surfer Gibby Haynes: "GRAFFITI: Misogyny? Gibby: "Deuteronomy." GRAFFITI: Captain Beefheart? Gibby: "Fudge." GRAFFITI: Incest? Gibby: "...is best! What do you say?"; and of course, any number of laugh-out-loud articles by rockcritdom's best tag team, Dellio & Woods, the only guys wacky enough to rate rockcrits themselves! As I recall, they praised Greil Marcus & Chuck Eddy while dissing Dave Marsh, Robert Christgau & themselves 4. From Dee-troit, the obvious spiritual heirs to CREEM's legacy & curator of the Stooges Wax Museum 5. Excellent alternative-rock mag until the inciteful critic & eventual editor John Leland left & college rock began to suck (unrelated occurrences).
01: Oh, and I just want to
02: point out
03: that my misspelling of "inSIGHTful"
04: below
05: was entirely unintentional but kinda cool nonetheless!
Five Coolest Examples of Sampling in Pop Music
01: Roxanne Shante, "Have a Nice Day" / James Brown (Clyde Stubblefield, drums), "Funky Drummer"
02: Beastie Boys, "Rhymin & Stealin" / Led Zeppelin (John "Bonzo" Bonham, drums), "When the Levee Breaks"
03: Ice Cube, "When Will They Shoot?" / Queen, "We Will Rock You"
04: Cypress Hill, "How I Could Just Kill a Man" / Jimi Hendrix, "Are You Experienced?"
05: The Residents, "Third Reich 'n Roll" / Cream, "Sunshine of Your Love" AND Iron Butterfly, "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida"
1. Simply my favourite among countless other excellent usages of these beats. 2. Ditto 3. An absolute juggernaut (1st time I've ever used that word!) of a tune, the greatest rap song I've ever heard. Nice to know Queen served a purpose after all. 4. I probably played this song 50 times before my stunning realization that its maddeningly insistent backwards-guitar hook came from a song that I'd probably played 1000 times before. 5. Not literally a sample, but it's amazing to hear those two long-famous instantly-familiar acid-rock riffs grafted together into something totally new. As regards Scott Woods' remarks further down the page re. "legal" vs. "illegal" sampling, here's another curious scenario: In 1998, Public Enemy recorded "She Watch Channel Zero," largely built around a sampled guitar riff (not the "main" riff but a secondary one) from Slayer's 1996 recording "Angel of Death." written by Jeff Hannemann. It may or may not be significant that Slayer & Public Enemy were linked through both Def Jam records & producer Rick Rubin; in any event, 1991 saw the release of the first LP by the band Follow for Now. They were a middling example of the black hard-rock bands that were briefly popular after Living Colour hit big. Their name was taken from Public Enemy of course, and they even recorded their own version of "She Watch Channel Zero," built around the same Slayer riff, although they played the riff themselves rather than resorting to sampling. Despite writing the riff, Hannemann was uncredited in both versions of "Zero." So, if Hannemann felt he'd been ripped off, who could he sue? Follow for Now or Public Enemy? Discuss among yourselves...
01: See below...
02: Ditto...
03: Keep going...
04: Just a little further...
05: Almost there...
Hello! Sorry to waste your time; I just want to correct a couple of wrong dates in my entry below. "Angel of Death" was from 1986 not 1996, and the original "She Watch Channel Zero?!" was from 1988, not 1998. Bonehead.
Five Interesting Rock Critic Theories You Wish You'd Been Smart Enough to Think of Yourself
01: David Lee Roth's unforgettable claim that all rockcrits like Elvis Costello cause they all look like him!
02: Chuck Eddy's expansion of "heavy metal" to include Neil Young, Miles Davis, Sex Pistols, Run-DMC, etc...
03: Joe Carducci's praise of BANDS, at the expense of individuals, as the true source of greatness. As a lover of dozens of Beatles/Velvets/Zep/Who LPs and a mere handful of Lennon/McCartney/Reed/Cale "efforts," I totally agree.
04: Dave Marsh's observation that white would-be hipsters championing black styles are forever doomed to be 5 -10 yrs out of date.
05: From John Leland: If all the greats of British rock and American rock were pitted against one another in a fashion war, the Brits would win hands down. And this Brit victory would serve as proof of British rock supremacy to the Brits; and, conversely, as proof of American rock supremacy among the Americans.
Top Five Musicians Who Look Good in Tight Pants
01: Robert Plant
02: Jennifer Lopez
03: Ronnie Spector
04: Jim Morrison
05: Lee Aaron
I'm not gay but maybe I should have been...
Five Favourite Television Theme Songs
01: The Rockford Files
02: Get Smart
03: Star Trek
04: Lost in Space (the original)
05: Sanford and Son
First of all, note that sitcom themes REALLY began to suck in the '70s after they phased out lyrics specific to the shows' premises (Gilligan's Island, Beverly Hillbillies, etc.) & phased in generally godawful meaninglessness independent of the quality of said sitcom(Cheers, Facts of Life, Greatest American Hero, etfuckingcetera) in hopes of turning them into hit singles, a situation which was shamefully successful quite often. (Remember "Makin' It"? "Welcome Back"? My condolences). But, about these 5 instrumentals... 1. Amazing how this fantastic synth-driven tune can make #1 on my list, considering that nearly every subsequent theme by ultrahack Mike Post was mundane repetitious crap. Then again, "Rockford Files" is actually credited not to MP alone, but to Post AND Pete Carpenter. Hmmm...Also, one minor bit of nostalgia: This was the first of four 45s I bought with my first stereo. The other three: "Love Will Keep Us Together,” "Rhinestone Cowboy" and "Black Superman"! 2. I'm embarrassed to admit I still get a thrill from this attention-grabber, from the screech of the car tires to the thunderous slams of all those doors. 3. Including the shimmering opening & Shatner's (characteristically) authoritative voice-over. I'm still not sure whether those are actual female voices or a theremin... 4. John Williams is as big a hack-movie composer as Mike Post is a TV-hack, but the original "Lost in Space" theme (first two seasons) is great! Unless I'm confused & it was the latter theme that he wrote... 5. Excellent '70s funk - love that bass harmonica intro! And the clavinet! And the wah-wah! Honourable mention: The Fat Albert Show, Mission: Impossible, The Mod Squad, South Park, Hockey Night in Canada (o'course).
Five Most Critically Underrated Artists
01: Motorhead
02: The Monkees
03: Billy Squier*
04: Yes*
05: The Knack*
*These guys make the list simply because they recorded between 1 and 3 excellent LPs, amongst a lot of lousy ones. Honourable mention to a few others: Boston, Ace of Bass, the Damned, etc....
Five Favourite Years For Pop Music
01: 1969
02: 1984
03: 1964
04: 1974
05: 1965
'69: Best year for 'classic' rock thanks to superb LPs from MC5, Stooges, Captain Beefheart, Led Zep plus acceptable (not their best) efforts from the Who, Stones, Beatles, Sly Stone, etc. '84: Endless radio delights from Prince, Cyndi Lauper, Nena, John Waite, etc., plus any number of fine LPs, esp. on SST Records. '64: Last heroic gasp from the girl-groups; beginning of Brit invasion. '74: Thrilling early disco hits, many of which ironically use the word "rock" in their titles! '65: Highway 61 Revisited, "Satisfaction,” "Papa's Got a Brand New Bag" and "The Tracks of My Tears." Honourable mention: 1963, 1966-8, 1977.
Five Favourite Music Reviews or Articles That You Yourself Wrote
01: "Ascension Dissension"/amazon.ca/2000
02: "Tunnel Visionaries!"/amazon.ca/2001
03: "Gonna make you go blind"/amazon.ca/2001
04: "Bloody great!"/amazon.ca/2001
05: "Mental mashing Mucous!"/amazon.ca/2000
I never realized just how great a writer I was until Amazon accepted the first 11 reviews I sent them, among thousands of reviews sent by thousands of other reviewers. Who also had their stuff accepted! I assume my cheque - OUR cheques - are in the mail...By the way, the 5 CDs in question are, respectively: Ascension, John Coltrane"; Out of the Tunnel, MX-80 Sound; White Light/White Heat, the Velvet Underground; Reign in Blood, Slayer; & finally Lou Reed's Metal Machine Music.
― clemenza, Sunday, 9 November 2025 17:16 (three weeks ago)