human slop? Alex Warren vs Teddy Swims vs Benson Boone

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who is...um...best?

Poll Results

OptionVotes
Teddy Swims 5
Benson Boone 4
Alex Warren 0


gospodin simmel, Tuesday, 2 December 2025 18:15 (two months ago)

voted for Teddy Swims because i Would

Murgatroid, Tuesday, 2 December 2025 18:18 (two months ago)

disable Boone's backflip and his career is over. he loses

Edward Albee Sure (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 2 December 2025 18:19 (two months ago)

i might be overreacting and this is all just standard pop. nothing to see here.

BUT with everything going on, this batch of standard pop feels particularly discouraging. we all fought for this?

gospodin simmel, Tuesday, 2 December 2025 18:20 (two months ago)

xpost it's like Imagine Dragons if they had a mustache and were following you around and singing at full volume in your ear

Edward Albee Sure (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 2 December 2025 18:20 (two months ago)

benson probably "wins" this one due to pure inescapability. "beautiful things" was bad enough, but that olivia newton-john rip that plays in every commercial is maddening

harper valley paul thomas anderson (voodoo chili), Tuesday, 2 December 2025 18:43 (two months ago)

"Beautiful Things" is a public nuisance. Couldn't name anything by the other two.

cryptosicko, Tuesday, 2 December 2025 22:29 (two months ago)

“mystical magical” is like the most annoying song I’ve ever heard. When his voice gets all Russell Mael-y ewwwww

brimstead, Tuesday, 2 December 2025 22:40 (two months ago)

He has that generic vocal affectation that makes me think he's AI

Edward Albee Sure (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 3 December 2025 00:12 (two months ago)

voted for Boone. i enjoyed some of his stuff pre-"Beautiful Things" ubiquity and even now i generally like his less obnoxious songs, but it definitely feels like the whole goofy backflip thing is his entirely personality now and it's getting less and less likely that he'll make any tolerable music in the future.

some dude, Wednesday, 3 December 2025 01:06 (two months ago)

fuck marry kill

fuck alex warren
marry benson boone
kill teddy swims

slob wizard (J0rdan S.), Wednesday, 3 December 2025 01:09 (two months ago)

oh are we doing that?

F: Teddy as previously mentioned
M: Alex
K and burn the corpse: Benson

Murgatroid, Wednesday, 3 December 2025 01:11 (two months ago)

i definitely see the vision for fucking teddy swims. alex warren is too christian to marry, marrying benson boone might actually be kinda fun, adventurous personality and all that

slob wizard (J0rdan S.), Wednesday, 3 December 2025 01:15 (two months ago)

my hatred for Benson Boone outweighs any qualms I would have about Alex Warren's Catholicism

Murgatroid, Wednesday, 3 December 2025 01:20 (two months ago)

Feels like butt pop should be a genre.

aphoristical, Wednesday, 3 December 2025 02:31 (two months ago)

two weeks pass...

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

System, Monday, 22 December 2025 00:01 (one month ago)

we all fought for this?

what did we fight?

The Luda of Suburbia (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 22 December 2025 00:10 (one month ago)

this throaty bro pop that was the indifferent aristocracy to charli and billie’s stone throwing in the late ‘10s?

budo jeru, Monday, 22 December 2025 00:20 (one month ago)

All three make appearances in here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=41A5knAYlaE

Josh in Chicago, Monday, 22 December 2025 01:03 (one month ago)

benson boone sounds like tiny tim on "mystical magical" altho i guess he is aiming for freddie mercury. abominable

on one of teddy swims's songs his voice cracks on every iteration of a particular word/note during the chorus so what could have passed for a raw/gritty 'moment' if done once instead just makes him sound like a poor singer. his "are you even real" song with giveon is a laughable babby's first d'angelo demo that should not have seen the light of day

despite this i ended up voting for teddy anyway which i guess makes it clear how i feel about the little alex warren material i have heard

dyl, Monday, 22 December 2025 07:20 (one month ago)

Every time I see people talk about Benson Boone they talk about him being very sexy and his fondness of doing backflips while he performs, I don't get it at all and it genuinely makes me question if I belong to a different species

boxedjoy, Monday, 22 December 2025 08:15 (one month ago)

When I was at Nine Inch Nails, the same arena showed an ad for a Benson Boone show months away, with SOLD OUT emblazoned on it.

Was baffled because although I hear his annoying songs in public regularly, I never hear anybody talk about him or his songs. I would never have guessed he was that popular.

Guess backflips are back in! What's out?

Morning Dew key (Neanderthal), Monday, 22 December 2025 15:16 (one month ago)

Teddy Swims seems like far and away the least annoying of these three (NOTE: I have never heard Alex Warren)

our beloved RIFF LORD (DJP), Monday, 22 December 2025 15:20 (one month ago)

I assure you that you have probably heard Alex Warren like in the supermarket or whatever, you just didn't know it

Murgatroid, Monday, 22 December 2025 15:50 (one month ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

System, Tuesday, 23 December 2025 00:01 (one month ago)

I made a difference!

our beloved RIFF LORD (DJP), Tuesday, 23 December 2025 02:27 (one month ago)

one month passes...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXGTaGjqERc

Josh in Chicago, Thursday, 29 January 2026 18:10 (two weeks ago)


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