human slop? Alex Warren vs Teddy Swims vs Benson Boone

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Poll Closing Date: Tuesday, 23 December 2025 00:00 (in 2 weeks)

who is...um...best?

Alex Warren
Teddy Swims
Benson Boone


gospodin simmel, Tuesday, 2 December 2025 18:15 (yesterday)

voted for Teddy Swims because i Would

Murgatroid, Tuesday, 2 December 2025 18:18 (yesterday)

disable Boone's backflip and his career is over. he loses

Edward Albee Sure (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 2 December 2025 18:19 (yesterday)

i might be overreacting and this is all just standard pop. nothing to see here.

BUT with everything going on, this batch of standard pop feels particularly discouraging. we all fought for this?

gospodin simmel, Tuesday, 2 December 2025 18:20 (yesterday)

xpost it's like Imagine Dragons if they had a mustache and were following you around and singing at full volume in your ear

Edward Albee Sure (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 2 December 2025 18:20 (yesterday)

benson probably "wins" this one due to pure inescapability. "beautiful things" was bad enough, but that olivia newton-john rip that plays in every commercial is maddening

harper valley paul thomas anderson (voodoo chili), Tuesday, 2 December 2025 18:43 (yesterday)

"Beautiful Things" is a public nuisance. Couldn't name anything by the other two.

cryptosicko, Tuesday, 2 December 2025 22:29 (yesterday)

“mystical magical” is like the most annoying song I’ve ever heard. When his voice gets all Russell Mael-y ewwwww

brimstead, Tuesday, 2 December 2025 22:40 (yesterday)

He has that generic vocal affectation that makes me think he's AI

Edward Albee Sure (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 3 December 2025 00:12 (twelve hours ago)

voted for Boone. i enjoyed some of his stuff pre-"Beautiful Things" ubiquity and even now i generally like his less obnoxious songs, but it definitely feels like the whole goofy backflip thing is his entirely personality now and it's getting less and less likely that he'll make any tolerable music in the future.

some dude, Wednesday, 3 December 2025 01:06 (eleven hours ago)

fuck marry kill

fuck alex warren
marry benson boone
kill teddy swims

slob wizard (J0rdan S.), Wednesday, 3 December 2025 01:09 (eleven hours ago)

oh are we doing that?

F: Teddy as previously mentioned
M: Alex
K and burn the corpse: Benson

Murgatroid, Wednesday, 3 December 2025 01:11 (eleven hours ago)

i definitely see the vision for fucking teddy swims. alex warren is too christian to marry, marrying benson boone might actually be kinda fun, adventurous personality and all that

slob wizard (J0rdan S.), Wednesday, 3 December 2025 01:15 (eleven hours ago)

my hatred for Benson Boone outweighs any qualms I would have about Alex Warren's Catholicism

Murgatroid, Wednesday, 3 December 2025 01:20 (eleven hours ago)

Feels like butt pop should be a genre.

aphoristical, Wednesday, 3 December 2025 02:31 (nine hours ago)


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